Are loners more sane and authentic than popular people?

[ladislav]

How do you pretend to be something that you're not though?

It's like being a spy. I've heard a spy once say on an internet video that "you get really good at lying if you do it everyday from the moment you wake up til the moment you go to sleep."

Basically, very social people become expert liers and expert fakes because they've spent years practicing. Whereas more intellectual people like ourselves who actually have a conscience just think, "I don't want to lie all the time," and then we are considered naive and foolish by the masses.

But in my opinion, ethics always remain important. Some people in the world do value honesty and trustworthiness.

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

[jamesbond]

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

In the end, good guys do finish first maybe not in this life but in the afterlife. Believe me, what goes around comes around! You can't fool God forever, eventually if your an asshole, you will have to pay the piper!

[momopi]

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.
I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

Good deeds and good behavior does not equate to success and rewards. Religion and religious morality (good vs. evil) is a noble idea and leads to a honorable life, but not financial success. The religious definition of prosperity itself is not necessarily material. Certain Christian sects try to rectify this by advocating a prosperity gospel, or "Jesus blesses believers with riches". This runs in contrast with other moral or ethical teachings, in which being good for the purpose of material gain is the wrong motivation.

As for "not intellectual", someone who's good at interpersonal relations can be defined as having high social intelligence. There are social climbers, and then there are corporate ladder climbers who exploit others to climb up. At my last job I observed several managers who climbed their way to VP status by being workaholics or complete a-holes. But once they reach VP status, knowing that their chances of going higher is slim to none, they go through a 180-degree shift and turn into laid back senior management who comes to work late and want to talk about golf. After that they all aim to retire in 5 years with 7-digit golden handshake.

It's a weird feeling to have the workaholic ex-boss who used to get on your case for being 5 mins late in the morning call you and ask you to take him fishing. I'm reminded that although I get new e-mail accounts on regular basis to dodge spam, I haven't changed my cell phone # in 15 years and my ex-boss from 1997 can still reach me by phone. @_@;;

[NorthAmericanguy]

Question: I've lived in Russia and the Philippines for a long time. How come there aren't any real loners there? Have you all noticed that? It's mostly the US, Canada, and maybe the UK where you find loners.

It seems that the more fake a society is, the more loners there are who withdraw from others. But the more genuine a social culture is, the less loners there are.

If you go to passionate open inclusive cultures, you will not find loners. Examples - Russia, Ukraine, Latin America, Philippines, Holland, Spain, etc.

People act more authentic without fake smiles and act the way they feel.

Take a look at this comparison chart I created. If you were in a social culture with the features of the right column, would you need to be a loner?

http://www.happierabroad.com/comparison.htm

Interesting Winston

[NorthAmericanguy]

How do you pretend to be something that you're not though?

It's like being a spy. I've heard a spy once say on an internet video that "you get really good at lying if you do it everyday from the moment you wake up til the moment you go to sleep."

Basically, very social people become expert liers and expert fakes because they've spent years practicing. Whereas more intellectual people like ourselves who actually have a conscience just think, "I don't want to lie all the time," and then we are considered naive and foolish by the masses.

But in my opinion, ethics always remain important. Some people in the world do value honesty and trustworthiness.

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

I was talking to an older man yesterday about this and he told me that the reason why our society is this way is because our society was SET UP by gangsters (just like Las Vegas) so why be so surprised when you see that we live in a dog eat dog world.

[momopi]

I was talking to an older man yesterday about this and he told me that the reason why our society is this way is because our society was SET UP by gangsters (just like Las Vegas) so why be so surprised when you see that we live in a dog eat dog world.

Those who beat their swords into plow-shares, end up plowing the field for those who kept their swords.

[MrPeabody]

How do you pretend to be something that you're not though?

It's like being a spy. I've heard a spy once say on an internet video that "you get really good at lying if you do it everyday from the moment you wake up til the moment you go to sleep."

Basically, very social people become expert liers and expert fakes because they've spent years practicing. Whereas more intellectual people like ourselves who actually have a conscience just think, "I don't want to lie all the time," and then we are considered naive and foolish by the masses.

But in my opinion, ethics always remain important. Some people in the world do value honesty and trustworthiness.

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

Islam seems to have a good compromise. First, you have a system of repentance, which is just a way to get evil out of yourself. Then you have the Sharia law that regulates and punishes evil in the general society. Then you have Jihad - which is the fight against evil. Jihad can mean personal Jihad where you battle against evil in yourself, or external Jihad where you battle against evil in the outside world. Thus, you can be a good guy and fight the bad guys at the same time. Christianity is actually similar and there is the concept of "muscular Christianity".

[woodwater]

Question: I've lived in Russia and the Philippines for a long time. How come there aren't any real loners there? Have you all noticed that? It's mostly the US, Canada, and maybe the UK where you find loners.

It seems that the more fake a society is, the more loners there are who withdraw from others. But the more genuine a social culture is, the less loners there are.

If you go to passionate open inclusive cultures, you will not find loners. Examples - Russia, Ukraine, Latin America, Philippines, Holland, Spain, etc.

People act more authentic without fake smiles and act the way they feel.

Take a look at this comparison chart I created. If you were in a social culture with the features of the right column, would you need to be a loner?

http://www.happierabroad.com/comparison.htm

Interesting Winston

You are naive about europe.im a loner, and i saw many loners in northern europe too

[Think Different]

How do you pretend to be something that you're not though?

It's like being a spy. I've heard a spy once say on an internet video that "you get really good at lying if you do it everyday from the moment you wake up til the moment you go to sleep."

Basically, very social people become expert liers and expert fakes because they've spent years practicing. Whereas more intellectual people like ourselves who actually have a conscience just think, "I don't want to lie all the time," and then we are considered naive and foolish by the masses.

But in my opinion, ethics always remain important. Some people in the world do value honesty and trustworthiness.

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

Islam seems to have a good compromise. First, you have a system of repentance, which is just a way to get evil out of yourself. Then you have the Sharia law that regulates and punishes evil in the general society. Then you have Jihad - which is the fight against evil. Jihad can mean personal Jihad where you battle against evil in yourself, or external Jihad where you battle against evil in the outside world. Thus, you can be a good guy and fight the bad guys at the same time. Christianity is actually similar and there is the concept of "muscular Christianity".

"Muscular Christianity" can be found in Eastern Orthodoxy (think of the Russians and Greeks). Many converts to it (like myself) call it "the Marine Corps of Christianity". Just from a superficial glance, you only have to look at the long beards the priests wear, and the male-dominated culture they have. That's not even getting into the spiritual aspects. 'Nuf said...

[Think Different]

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

In the end, good guys do finish first maybe not in this life but in the afterlife. Believe me, what goes around comes around! You can't fool God forever, eventually if your an asshole, you will have to pay the piper!

Part of the thinking of following the "narrow path" to heaven, means not following the hoards, but even being something of a "loner" spiritually. After all, the Bible asks what good is it to gain the world, but lose your soul. We should store up our treasures in heaven, where they cannot be stolen. For me it's about balance in life: family/work/play/love/etc. For a majority of Americans, it's ALL about getting ahead and getting rich, at any cost, even if that means losing your spouse, friends, faith, etc. If a Christian becomes rich, that's fine, but the "prosperity gospel" that Momopi mentioned is a flat-out American-style heresy and contradicts everything Jesus spoke about. It's a feel-good religion that tickles Americans' ears, since it doesn't condemn them or challenge them spiritually. In fact, it is religion conforming to the American perverted world of consumerism and power. The world should be conformed to the thinking of God, not the other way around. /descends soapbox...

[Think Different]

How do you pretend to be something that you're not though?

It's like being a spy. I've heard a spy once say on an internet video that "you get really good at lying if you do it everyday from the moment you wake up til the moment you go to sleep."

Basically, very social people become expert liers and expert fakes because they've spent years practicing. Whereas more intellectual people like ourselves who actually have a conscience just think, "I don't want to lie all the time," and then we are considered naive and foolish by the masses.

But in my opinion, ethics always remain important. Some people in the world do value honesty and trustworthiness.

How do you see the situation when naive people at work get fired and liars and fakes and bastards get promoted and move on to higher salaries? They will backstab you and just move up.

I have seen real cruel assholes, succeed and prosper and they were not intellectual, just lupine, totally " predatorial". And a nice guy would be left holding the bag. So, what is the point of being a nice guy? Do we finish last or do we win in the end? Religions teach us all this good behavior but I see the scowling wolf get all the spoils.

I was talking to an older man yesterday about this and he told me that the reason why our society is this way is because our society was SET UP by gangsters (just like Las Vegas) so why be so surprised when you see that we live in a dog eat dog world.

One other thought about the shysters always winning in the USA: I never had that experience in Europe, when I worked over there, and I was at several different places, in different countries. Some of it may be the power of the labor unions there and the pro-employee laws, as opposed to the free-for-all, wild west, winner-take-all capitalism here in the US (we've seen now where that leads...look at the economy). I also think that bullying in the workplace is a uniquely Anglo-Saxon phenomenon, and especially in America. Why do you think we have so many men taking guns and shooting the hell out of offices or taking out crowds of people in public? Men in the US have been made into weak simpering turds, due to antagonistic laws for marriage, divorce, child support, workplace, predatory police/prison system, etc. This goes totally against nature, and men sense that at the deepest level.

[Think Different]

A great book for the loners and go-your-own way folks out there: http://www.annelirufus.com/partyofone/

[Winston]

Did any of you find high school to be a bizarro world? I mean, I think I must have been the friendliest, most open person in high school, yet I could not make any real friends or be accepted by any clique. It was weird cause you'd think that logic and common sense would say that if you were friendly and open, then you'd have friends right?

But high school was nothing like that. Instead, everyone seemed so fake, hostile and dumb, and if I wasn't fake, hostile and dumb too, then I was spat upon. I had no idea how to handle that. It all seemed illogical. No formula was given to me for coping with it either. So I kept wondering what was wrong with me to no avail.

Any of you experience that in high school too?

Plus the cliques were closed, pretentious and exclusive, so being friendly had no value in getting accepted by any of the cliques. What's the point of being friendly if the cliques are stuck up and closed and don't accept you?

I had no idea what to do. Isn't it weird how you can be very friendly and open, yet have no friends? In America it's definitely possible.

But then again, I grew up in California, the shallow fake capital of the world.

I still resent that I never felt accepted in high school or had any fun or dates, even to this day, even though the 1980's are long gone. TV was my only escape from that bizarro world. Everyday I felt so insecure, lonely and miserable, and I had no idea what to do about it. My great logic could never find any solution either.

Oddly, I felt no freedom in high school, even though American culture said that I was free. Go figure.

I am all for happiness, but most people in the US have this "fake happiness" that is more like denial and shallowness than anything else. True happiness comes from liberating your mind and enduring suffering. All great religions teach this.

I try to be optimistic, but not so optimistic that I become fake either.

It's funny that no one considers themselves fake, just as no one considers themselves to be the bad guy either. lol. Not even the fakest person thinks they are fake. That's how deluded they are. lol

Another question: On TV people seem so friendly, open, communicative and expressive. So how come the general population isn't like that, even though many people watch a lot of TV? Why don't average people emulate how friendly people are on TV, whom they are exposed to everyday?

[Think Different]

Most people felt like insecure dorks in HS. It's a rite of passage. It's part of going from angst-ridden teenager to adulthood, coupled with extremely horny kids and too much energy: it's a recipe for insanity. Forget HS, it's not worth wasting 2 seconds thinking about and relationships (or lack thereof) from HS are pretty much irrelevant. Move on...

[Winston]

Here's another thing I forgot to mention.

Among my relatives and family friends are girls who used to like and played with me when they were little. They were so friendly, like people are on TV, and wanted me to play toys with them.

But when they reached around 13, all of a sudden they thought they were too cool for me and ignored me and never spoke a word to me when they saw me. It was so sad and I feel hurt when I think about how cold they suddenly became just cause they grew up.

For some reason, girls tend to become antisocial and stuck up like this, more than boys do.

Why do people have to be antisocial like this? I don't get it.

Why is it that people in general are not friendly to you unless they want your money? If they don't, then they ignore you and are antisocial to you. Why does it have to be that way?

Why can't people be friendly just for the sake of being friendly, like I am?

The folks on these sites are friendly for the sake of being friendly - a rare breed- and like to meet people and allow strangers to stay in their home.

http://www.couchsurfing.org
http://www.hospitalityclub.org