Unwanted Sexual Advances are Sexual Harassment!
Posted: July 31st, 2012, 4:20 pm
...But what if they were wanted and the woman later changes her mind?
That's what happens to me. I narrowly escaped getting fired due to some vindictive little girl who decided I had to pay for hurting her feelings.
When I initially met this girl, I didnt know much about her, but she seemed like one of the coolest, most down to earth girls I had ever met. She even escalated to kino completely on her own without me prompting her.
She is a taller girl, and she wanted to compare whose feet and hands are bigger. We placed them side to side and then I lifted my hand and she placed her palm flat to mine. That's something I wouldnt expect from most AWs.
Looking back, she isnt a nice or sweet girl. She doesnt ever smile unless she's laughing, no giggling, she's got one of those tough voices, and I have come to learn that quite a few coworkers dislike her.
I was going to work part time and I asked her if we could stay in touch via FB and if I could have her number. She told me to add her on FB but she has a BF so no phone number.
The chick has two Facebook's. One is a personal account. The other is one that a famous person would have which says "subscribe" instead of "Add Friend."
At work I couldnt find the second account on my phone to verify if that was really her or some unfamous person I was unaware of. I showed her a photo on my phone, and she said it was her.
Fast forward a few weeks. This chick basically can not hold a real conversation. If I were to make a metaphor to compare conversation to a game of catch, she is the type of girl you'd throw the ball to, but each time she'd catch it and let it drop to the ground, forcing you to go pick it up again if you wanted to talk to her more. Rather than an escalating conversation that relies upon each person doing their part, it was always one sided.
That plus she laughed at me one day, and I consider that a form of betrayal.
I ignored her for some time after that. She made no advance on me, and I made none on her.
One day I was flirting with another coworker (I know, I know), and this one was escalating the conversation. It never rose to a sexual level of conversation. However, anyone with half a brain would know if we were to wind up alone that night, that is what would happen.
The next week I come to work I hear that I am accused of using sexual innuendo with a coworker. Naturally I assumed it was the girl I was flirting with just before. It wasnt. It was from the girl I had been ignoring for weeks who overheard everything.
But since the conversation wasnt sexual in nature, she couldnt use that for a case against me. Instead her argument was based upon me asking about her BF and that I showed her a "porn photo" on my phone, both of which are perversions of the facts.
Naturally all of the dearies at work believed her version and I even got accused by some woman who is rather unattractive in both personality and looks that I was hitting on her at that moment when I was merely making a joke (no one who knows her would ever want her cause she's a queen bitch, short and pudgy, bossy, etc).
I finally get interviewed for this sexual harassment charge after not having been able to get a full night's sleep for a week. I answered the questions.
Later my boss re-interviewed this young lady.
There are several elements missing for it to be true sexual harassment. First it would have to be pervasive. Two instances arent enough. Secondly, she would have to have issued a verbal warning to me, which she had not. And failing those two, she would have to signal without prompting from management that she genuinely feared for her safety in my presence. She satisfied none of those.
Now we will have to work together, and her pathetic attempt at revenge merely ruined my reputation with my boss. Some of the women will always believe it as well, but I doubt these misandrists ever liked me anyway. I have not seen any of the other women who liked me before (in a flirtatious way) shying away from me at all. But I am quite sure that she has confirmed for everyone there that she is a psycho.
I also think she isnt used to rejection. She isnt a flawless, jaw dropping beauty, but she is at the upper range of pretty, and she gets told that multiple times per day. Maybe the fact that I ignored her was OK, but going after some other chick in front of her was enough to incite rage. This is somethign that I can't comprehend though. She had no dibs on me. Nor I on her. Why would that cause her jealousy? We hadnt even talked in weeks.
That's another point. It had been >6 wks since we had contact, and she admitted to it. The fact that she waited that long to lodge charges about me is an indicator of me having pissed her off, rather than me having made sexual advances towards her.
Thoughts?
That's what happens to me. I narrowly escaped getting fired due to some vindictive little girl who decided I had to pay for hurting her feelings.
When I initially met this girl, I didnt know much about her, but she seemed like one of the coolest, most down to earth girls I had ever met. She even escalated to kino completely on her own without me prompting her.
She is a taller girl, and she wanted to compare whose feet and hands are bigger. We placed them side to side and then I lifted my hand and she placed her palm flat to mine. That's something I wouldnt expect from most AWs.
Looking back, she isnt a nice or sweet girl. She doesnt ever smile unless she's laughing, no giggling, she's got one of those tough voices, and I have come to learn that quite a few coworkers dislike her.
I was going to work part time and I asked her if we could stay in touch via FB and if I could have her number. She told me to add her on FB but she has a BF so no phone number.
The chick has two Facebook's. One is a personal account. The other is one that a famous person would have which says "subscribe" instead of "Add Friend."
At work I couldnt find the second account on my phone to verify if that was really her or some unfamous person I was unaware of. I showed her a photo on my phone, and she said it was her.
Fast forward a few weeks. This chick basically can not hold a real conversation. If I were to make a metaphor to compare conversation to a game of catch, she is the type of girl you'd throw the ball to, but each time she'd catch it and let it drop to the ground, forcing you to go pick it up again if you wanted to talk to her more. Rather than an escalating conversation that relies upon each person doing their part, it was always one sided.
That plus she laughed at me one day, and I consider that a form of betrayal.
I ignored her for some time after that. She made no advance on me, and I made none on her.
One day I was flirting with another coworker (I know, I know), and this one was escalating the conversation. It never rose to a sexual level of conversation. However, anyone with half a brain would know if we were to wind up alone that night, that is what would happen.
The next week I come to work I hear that I am accused of using sexual innuendo with a coworker. Naturally I assumed it was the girl I was flirting with just before. It wasnt. It was from the girl I had been ignoring for weeks who overheard everything.
But since the conversation wasnt sexual in nature, she couldnt use that for a case against me. Instead her argument was based upon me asking about her BF and that I showed her a "porn photo" on my phone, both of which are perversions of the facts.
Naturally all of the dearies at work believed her version and I even got accused by some woman who is rather unattractive in both personality and looks that I was hitting on her at that moment when I was merely making a joke (no one who knows her would ever want her cause she's a queen bitch, short and pudgy, bossy, etc).
I finally get interviewed for this sexual harassment charge after not having been able to get a full night's sleep for a week. I answered the questions.
Later my boss re-interviewed this young lady.
There are several elements missing for it to be true sexual harassment. First it would have to be pervasive. Two instances arent enough. Secondly, she would have to have issued a verbal warning to me, which she had not. And failing those two, she would have to signal without prompting from management that she genuinely feared for her safety in my presence. She satisfied none of those.
Now we will have to work together, and her pathetic attempt at revenge merely ruined my reputation with my boss. Some of the women will always believe it as well, but I doubt these misandrists ever liked me anyway. I have not seen any of the other women who liked me before (in a flirtatious way) shying away from me at all. But I am quite sure that she has confirmed for everyone there that she is a psycho.
I also think she isnt used to rejection. She isnt a flawless, jaw dropping beauty, but she is at the upper range of pretty, and she gets told that multiple times per day. Maybe the fact that I ignored her was OK, but going after some other chick in front of her was enough to incite rage. This is somethign that I can't comprehend though. She had no dibs on me. Nor I on her. Why would that cause her jealousy? We hadnt even talked in weeks.
That's another point. It had been >6 wks since we had contact, and she admitted to it. The fact that she waited that long to lodge charges about me is an indicator of me having pissed her off, rather than me having made sexual advances towards her.
Thoughts?