Male Shaming Tactics of American Women

[hypermak]

Yes most women do want drama and conflict, not peace. So if you don't give them drama, they create it or make up reasons to argue. Have you experienced that too?

Well, you can give them a measure of the good kind of drama: sweep them off their feet with a bunch of flowers and a card, a date at a new cocktail bar, a long weekend somewhere nice and exotic. It doesn't have to be over the top, it doesn't have to be expensive. Just enough for her to know that "things are still happening" between you two and that you still care about breaking the routine and be a fresh (and refreshing) presence in her life.

Why do they do that? Isn't unnecessary conflict a bad thing? Like the unnecessary drama between you and Contrarian Expatriate? lol

That kind of conflict mainly served the purpose of improving my written English and my debating skills...even though "debate" was too big a word for what we have been doing: basically flinging verbal turds at each other. He is way too proud and arrogant to ever admit that, maybe, he should get off the obsession carousel and live his life in a way that's more honest and true to himself.

Btw, I also got another theory that makes sense. I also noticed that if you say or do something to remind a woman of her ex, even something small, if she still has baggage or trauma from that relationship, she will explode and take out all her baggage and issues onto you, as if you are her ex, even though you are not. This is really weird and will leave you thinking "WTF?" All you did was say something normal and innocent, but it triggered a memory she had with her ex, and so she subconsciously thought you were her ex again and blew up on you and got hysterical. Women have admitted this too, so it's true. I'm sure you've all experienced this too. This especially happens with women who have had many relationships.

That may have been the case with Lisa or Danielle too.

That's not always true, I guess it depends on whether the girl has a negative, a neutral or even positive overall memory of her ex. Again, a decent young woman should be in control of her darker emotions and, as in your case, should know that there is no way you could have intentionally reminded her of a past experience with an ex-bf, so you are at no fault.

I think you just got unlucky with those 2 girls. What about all the Russian girls who were smiling, hugging or even kissing you on a photo? At leats a couple of them look real cuties and the typical "girl to make yours". Why didn't you think about committing with one of those girls. You were still in adventure mode, I guess...and I understand you. Just be reminded that, for how much fish there is in the pond, no two fishes are equal and no two fishermen are equal

[Winston]

That's not good drama hypermak. That's being romantic. Of course I do that too. But that's not what they want. They want conflict and to argue and fight, even over imaginary issues. I heard it's a shit test or something. Not sure how to pass it. For me it's a lose lose situation because if I argue back, it gets worse. If I remain calm and detached, they use that against me too.

Besides, most women are practical today, not romantic, especially Asian. They see everything from a practical standpoint.

Of course most women have a NEGATIVE memory of their exes and only have negative things to say about them. Didn't you know that? Maybe Italian women are not as toxic as American women. But even Filipino women have done that to me, go berzerk when I said one thing that reminded her of her ex. You are lucky your women are not as toxic as ours. For women, it's not rational, it's subconscious. She doesn't realize what she's doing when she blows up at you for no reason.

The Russian girls I met were mostly flakes. Not serious about me. Only a few were serious but they weren't my type. Near the end of my trip I found two that I liked but I was already leaving and tired of being in Russia, so they came too late. Like I said, everything seems to be murphy's law.

It's not just two girls. It's a lot more than that. Did you see the other thread hypermak? The Murphy's Law thread?

viewtopic.php?style=11&p=344931#p344931

Murphys law is not normal coincidence or normal probability or the law of averages. It means this:

"A consistent pattern of bad luck or events that go against you that happen in a consistent pattern that defies the law of normal chance probability."

Do you understand that? See my explanation to Alex in the link above.

[Winston]

Btw hypermak,

One time when Lisa started getting moody on the island next to Fujian, China, I asked her this question:

"I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I take control and act like a strong male leader and act dominant, you will say that I am being insensitive and inconsiderate and not listening to you, and get mad and moody. But if I act agreeable and nice and go with whatever you say, like a beta male, and treat you like you're "the boss" like a typical American man does, then you will say that I'm weak and unmasculine and not a strong man and therefore unattractive. So either way I lose. What am I supposed to do? Is there a balance between both extremes? If so, where is it?"

Her reply was: "Well that's for you to find out. A real man figures that out for himself."

WTF? That's not very helpful. It seems like she was playing games. Either way, whatever I did, it was gonna be spun against me, as if I was an enemy or political opponent or competitor. WTF kind of relationship is that? WTF kind of girlfriend is that?

How would a decent mentally healthy woman answer my question and dilemma above? I wonder. Usually with easygoing Filipino girls like Dianne, I don't ever need to ask such questions, because Filipino girls do not try to spin things against you like an enemy or opponent does. They are too easygoing, simple and relaxed to do that.

Some people are misanthropes, in that if you know them long enough, they will find reasons and excuses to hate you and try to see the worse in you, even if you are good and nice and do nothing wrong. I thought only Americans were like that, but some Chinese are too it seems. They always find flaws and imperfections in you and use them against you and get difficult and argumentative. I don't see how you can live with or marry someone like that. Do you?

Chinese and American women can be overly analytical in that way. That's why Filipino women tend to be the most relaxed and allow you to be yourself and let you say whatever you want to say without judging you or analyzing you. I've never understood how men who are married to American or Chinese women are able to keep their relationship long term if every imperfection of theirs is scrutinized and used against them in a toxic manner. Isn't that impossible to deal with? How does one walk on eggshells everyday for years or decades? I don't get that. Maybe if you are too freespirited and individualistic, it's impossible because the average conformist Chinese and American woman will see countless flaws with you and eventually grow to dislike you, even if you are nice and agreeable all the time. It's a no win situation. So how do other men win it? Doesn't that confuse you too?

Isn't it unfair that there are so many no win situations in life and relationships, especially for people like me and @GoingAwol which constantly gets TARGETED (more than most people do) by Murphy's Law?

Have you ever been in a no win situation hypermak? If so, how did you deal with it? You haven't experienced it often right? Yet believe it or not, I have experienced it THOUSANDS OF TIMES!!!!!!!!! That's MANY MANY times! How can you explain that? That's NOT coincidence or normal chance or normal probability! No way jose!

[MrMan]

Btw hypermak,

One time when Lisa started getting moody on the island next to Fujian, China, I asked her this question:

"I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I take control and act like a strong male leader and act dominant, you will say that I am being insensitive and inconsiderate and not listening to you, and get mad and moody. But if I act agreeable and nice and go with whatever you say, like a beta male, and treat you like you're "the boss" like a typical American man does, then you will say that I'm weak and unmasculine and not a strong man and therefore unattractive. So either way I lose. What am I supposed to do? Is there a balance between both extremes? If so, where is it?"

If it's important, a matter of principle, then be willing to let her be moody for a while and stick to your guns.

[Daddy Wu]

One time when Lisa started getting moody on the island next to Fujian, China, I asked her this question:

"I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I take control and act like a strong male leader and act dominant, you will say that I am being insensitive and inconsiderate and not listening to you, and get mad and moody. But if I act agreeable and nice and go with whatever you say, like a beta male, and treat you like you're "the boss" like a typical American man does, then you will say that I'm weak and unmasculine and not a strong man and therefore unattractive. So either way I lose. What am I supposed to do? Is there a balance between both extremes? If so, where is it?"

Her reply was: "Well that's for you to find out. A real man figures that out for himself."

Winston! My son!

Daddy ream you out! Again!!

Real man don't ask girl how to be man!!

Real man don't sit on fence! Like you!!

Girl follow only real man!

Be real man!!

Listen to Daddy!!!

Love,
Your Daddy

[hypermak]

Btw hypermak,

One time when Lisa started getting moody on the island next to Fujian, China, I asked her this question:

"I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I take control and act like a strong male leader and act dominant, you will say that I am being insensitive and inconsiderate and not listening to you, and get mad and moody. But if I act agreeable and nice and go with whatever you say, like a beta male, and treat you like you're "the boss" like a typical American man does, then you will say that I'm weak and unmasculine and not a strong man and therefore unattractive. So either way I lose. What am I supposed to do? Is there a balance between both extremes? If so, where is it?"

Her reply was: "Well that's for you to find out. A real man figures that out for himself."

WTF? That's not very helpful. It seems like she was playing games. Either way, whatever I did, it was gonna be spun against me, as if I was an enemy or political opponent or competitor. WTF kind of relationship is that? WTF kind of girlfriend is that?

How would a decent mentally healthy woman answer my question and dilemma above? I wonder. Usually with easygoing Filipino girls like Dianne, I don't ever need to ask such questions, because Filipino girls do not try to spin things against you like an enemy or opponent does. They are too easygoing, simple and relaxed to do that.

Some people are misanthropes, in that if you know them long enough, they will find reasons and excuses to hate you and try to see the worse in you, even if you are good and nice and do nothing wrong. I thought only Americans were like that, but some Chinese are too it seems. They always find flaws and imperfections in you and use them against you and get difficult and argumentative. I don't see how you can live with or marry someone like that. Do you?

Chinese and American women can be overly analytical in that way. That's why Filipino women tend to be the most relaxed and allow you to be yourself and let you say whatever you want to say without judging you or analyzing you. I've never understood how men who are married to American or Chinese women are able to keep their relationship long term if every imperfection of theirs is scrutinized and used against them in a toxic manner. Isn't that impossible to deal with? How does one walk on eggshells everyday for years or decades? I don't get that. Maybe if you are too freespirited and individualistic, it's impossible because the average conformist Chinese and American woman will see countless flaws with you and eventually grow to dislike you, even if you are nice and agreeable all the time. It's a no win situation. So how do other men win it? Doesn't that confuse you too?

Isn't it unfair that there are so many no win situations in life and relationships, especially for people like me and @GoingAwol which constantly gets TARGETED (more than most people do) by Murphy's Law?

Have you ever been in a no win situation hypermak? If so, how did you deal with it? You haven't experienced it often right? Yet believe it or not, I have experienced it THOUSANDS OF TIMES!!!!!!!!! That's MANY MANY times! How can you explain that? That's NOT coincidence or normal chance or normal probability! No way jose!

Where did you find this Lisa girl in China? On a dating site? A Chinese national, I suppose?

No offense @Winston but this girl seems to squarely fit in the definition of "leftover girl", a bad quality one at that. If she really was interested in a relationship with you, in fact with anyone, she should have played her part to make any interaction with you as nice and smooth as possible.

So her reply was "Well that's for you to find out. A real man figures that out for himself". The thought in your head, at that point, might have been: "Is she worth all the hassle"?

My humble suggestion is that she just wasn't worth it. Plus she was not so well in the head, which is probably why she was on a dating site and open to date foreigners in the first place.

The old saying seem to go here, Winston...you dodged a bullet, Neo style! You should see this as an appication of the "blessing in disguise" law, if there is one. Not Murphy's Law at all!

[Spencer]

Btw hypermak,

One time when Lisa started getting moody on the island next to Fujian, China, I asked her this question:

"I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. If I take control and act like a strong male leader and act dominant, you will say that I am being insensitive and inconsiderate and not listening to you, and get mad and moody. But if I act agreeable and nice and go with whatever you say, like a beta male, and treat you like you're "the boss" like a typical American man does, then you will say that I'm weak and unmasculine and not a strong man and therefore unattractive. So either way I lose. What am I supposed to do? Is there a balance between both extremes? If so, where is it?"

Her reply was: "Well that's for you to find out. A real man figures that out for himself."

WTF? That's not very helpful. It seems like she was playing games. Either way, whatever I did, it was gonna be spun against me, as if I was an enemy or political opponent or competitor. WTF kind of relationship is that? WTF kind of girlfriend is that?

How would a decent mentally healthy woman answer my question and dilemma above? I wonder. Usually with easygoing Filipino girls like Dianne, I don't ever need to ask such questions, because Filipino girls do not try to spin things against you like an enemy or opponent does. They are too easygoing, simple and relaxed to do that.

Some people are misanthropes, in that if you know them long enough, they will find reasons and excuses to hate you and try to see the worse in you, even if you are good and nice and do nothing wrong. I thought only Americans were like that, but some Chinese are too it seems. They always find flaws and imperfections in you and use them against you and get difficult and argumentative. I don't see how you can live with or marry someone like that. Do you?

Chinese and American women can be overly analytical in that way. That's why Filipino women tend to be the most relaxed and allow you to be yourself and let you say whatever you want to say without judging you or analyzing you. I've never understood how men who are married to American or Chinese women are able to keep their relationship long term if every imperfection of theirs is scrutinized and used against them in a toxic manner. Isn't that impossible to deal with? How does one walk on eggshells everyday for years or decades? I don't get that. Maybe if you are too freespirited and individualistic, it's impossible because the average conformist Chinese and American woman will see countless flaws with you and eventually grow to dislike you, even if you are nice and agreeable all the time. It's a no win situation. So how do other men win it? Doesn't that confuse you too?

Isn't it unfair that there are so many no win situations in life and relationships, especially for people like me and @GoingAwol which constantly gets TARGETED (more than most people do) by Murphy's Law?

Have you ever been in a no win situation hypermak? If so, how did you deal with it? You haven't experienced it often right? Yet believe it or not, I have experienced it THOUSANDS OF TIMES!!!!!!!!! That's MANY MANY times! How can you explain that? That's NOT coincidence or normal chance or normal probability! No way jose!

Where did you find this Lisa girl in China? On a dating site? A Chinese national, I suppose?

No offense @Winston but this girl seems to squarely fit in the definition of "leftover girl", a bad quality one at that. If she really was interested in a relationship with you, in fact with anyone, she should have played her part to make any interaction with you as nice and smooth as possible.

So her reply was "Well that's for you to find out. A real man figures that out for himself". The thought in your head, at that point, might have been: "Is she worth all the hassle"?

My humble suggestion is that she just wasn't worth it. Plus she was not so well in the head, which is probably why she was on a dating site and open to date foreigners in the first place.

The old saying seem to go here, Winston...you dodged a bullet, Neo style! You should see this as an appication of the "blessing in disguise" law, if there is one. Not Murphy's Law at all!

You not have right brain feel intuition only linear left brain logical so imposblity for you understand for wiseton love girl same soulmate and because murphy law girl turn 180 on wiseton and so very sad when he love girl want spending life then she suden ditch him and you seem not capability for understand the ongoing frustrates of wiseton and harshness nature some girl it realy hurt so bad have close call no cigar each time everytime so if you not understand the empath beter shushup for we all want wiseton find true solemate for hapy abord hapy ending of bossman qwest for lifelove