The reason Winston's temper has been short lately
Posted: May 9th, 2011, 4:38 am
Hi all,
I guess I should explain something. One reason why my temper here has been short lately, is because my chronic coughing over the past week has been non-stop and annoying. It's made it hard to concentrate on anything and hard to work. It's especially bad when I lay down to try to sleep, then it suddenly gets 10x worse and won't stop! I hate it. Sometimes I cough so hard that I yell out at the end on the last cough, cause my throat is overly strained. As a result of this condition, my tolerance for annoying things and people has been so low, which is why I've been blowing up more often.
I've taken Robitussin but it doesn't seem to help much. My Tylenol Cold helps more, but it's almost out and came from the US, so it's not available here if I run out. What can I do? Should I go to the doctor and get penicillan shots or tablets?
In the US, I never got sick, except maybe once every two years, and even then, it only lasted for one or two days. But here in Angeles, I seem to get sick constantly, and when I do, it won't f***ing stop or go away! Why? I hate it here!
Back in January, after I returned from Taiwan, I was about to leave and start traveling around the Philippines, as I had planned back in 2008. But then on the day I arrived, Mr S asked me if I wanted to work at his friend's company. Since I needed the money, I couldn't say no, so I got bogged down in another obligation. Thus my 2008 plans were foiled yet again!
Because of money, we often have to sacrifice our precious time and lives. I hate that. So right now, I feel extreme frustration and helplessness, cause I can't even enact plans I made in 2008, cause something keeps coming up or getting in the way. As such, I feel like my life is slipping away, the years are going by, and I can't do what I want. I feel like I'm in a whirlwind where I have no control. That's why I've been in a bad mood and my chronic coughing and inflammation has only made it worse, as I can hardly work with such a constant distracting cough. Sheesh.
All this is getting to me, so that I am not in the mood when someone attacks me, insults me, or tries to make me feel bad by blaming me.
Have any of you felt this way? Thus I feel totally trapped and helpless. Every day that I get up, I think, "I'm wasting time! I'm not supposed to be here! It's filthy here. I don't belong here." So right when I get up, I have an immediately feeling of anger.
How come people like Rock can just buy a ticket and fly anywhere he wants, but when I try to, something keeps getting in the way?
For sure, Murphy's Law rules my life, not me. And that makes me very angry and resentful.
What can I do? How do I stop this vicious cycle and take back my life? I HATE feeling helpless while time slips by.
Plus I am highly sensitive to distractions, and that makes everything worse. I get too easily distracted, lose track of time, and then become angry about it later. Society is distracting cause everywhere you go, someone wants you to buy something, someone wants your money. Commercialism is both distracting and hijacks your mind and attention too. That's why I felt so much more peaceful in nature, cause no one and nothing is asking you to buy something or controlling your mind. When I drove from Utah to Las Vegas, it was a culture shock cause immediately in Las Vegas all sorts of unnatural things kept bombarding your mind. The peace and tranquility of nature was lost there.
I guess I should explain something. One reason why my temper here has been short lately, is because my chronic coughing over the past week has been non-stop and annoying. It's made it hard to concentrate on anything and hard to work. It's especially bad when I lay down to try to sleep, then it suddenly gets 10x worse and won't stop! I hate it. Sometimes I cough so hard that I yell out at the end on the last cough, cause my throat is overly strained. As a result of this condition, my tolerance for annoying things and people has been so low, which is why I've been blowing up more often.
I've taken Robitussin but it doesn't seem to help much. My Tylenol Cold helps more, but it's almost out and came from the US, so it's not available here if I run out. What can I do? Should I go to the doctor and get penicillan shots or tablets?
In the US, I never got sick, except maybe once every two years, and even then, it only lasted for one or two days. But here in Angeles, I seem to get sick constantly, and when I do, it won't f***ing stop or go away! Why? I hate it here!
Back in January, after I returned from Taiwan, I was about to leave and start traveling around the Philippines, as I had planned back in 2008. But then on the day I arrived, Mr S asked me if I wanted to work at his friend's company. Since I needed the money, I couldn't say no, so I got bogged down in another obligation. Thus my 2008 plans were foiled yet again!
Because of money, we often have to sacrifice our precious time and lives. I hate that. So right now, I feel extreme frustration and helplessness, cause I can't even enact plans I made in 2008, cause something keeps coming up or getting in the way. As such, I feel like my life is slipping away, the years are going by, and I can't do what I want. I feel like I'm in a whirlwind where I have no control. That's why I've been in a bad mood and my chronic coughing and inflammation has only made it worse, as I can hardly work with such a constant distracting cough. Sheesh.
All this is getting to me, so that I am not in the mood when someone attacks me, insults me, or tries to make me feel bad by blaming me.
Have any of you felt this way? Thus I feel totally trapped and helpless. Every day that I get up, I think, "I'm wasting time! I'm not supposed to be here! It's filthy here. I don't belong here." So right when I get up, I have an immediately feeling of anger.
How come people like Rock can just buy a ticket and fly anywhere he wants, but when I try to, something keeps getting in the way?
For sure, Murphy's Law rules my life, not me. And that makes me very angry and resentful.
What can I do? How do I stop this vicious cycle and take back my life? I HATE feeling helpless while time slips by.
Plus I am highly sensitive to distractions, and that makes everything worse. I get too easily distracted, lose track of time, and then become angry about it later. Society is distracting cause everywhere you go, someone wants you to buy something, someone wants your money. Commercialism is both distracting and hijacks your mind and attention too. That's why I felt so much more peaceful in nature, cause no one and nothing is asking you to buy something or controlling your mind. When I drove from Utah to Las Vegas, it was a culture shock cause immediately in Las Vegas all sorts of unnatural things kept bombarding your mind. The peace and tranquility of nature was lost there.