Finding a woman who doesn't want kids is nearly impossible

[djfourmoney]

Why bring up that subject? Just date them and enjoy being with them and try to avoid the topic for as long as possible.

Because obviously its not going to work in the long term if she definitely wants kids. Sure you could date her for a while, but what if it starts to get serious? Its only going to end badly.

Frankly, I can't understand why anyone wants to have kids. It doesn't make sense. There is no gain or benefit for putting up with all that annoying crap. What do you get for putting up with all the trouble? Nothing. So what's the incentive to put up with it? I don't get it.

Plus kids kill the romance in the relationship. All the focus goes to them and not on you and your partner. Taking them on vacation spoils the trip too. It's no fun going on vacation with kids. They ruin everything.

It's all pain and no gain.

If a man has no interest in becoming enslaved to a spoiled brat, why should he? What if a person has no desire to sacrifice his life, freedom, and peace of mind for a child?

Not everyone is a settle down type of person either. Family life is boring and creates no special memories. There's no romance or adventure in family life. And without romance or adventure, life becomes a rut. I've never understood the appeal of family life and why it's considered to be fulfillment.

Watching kids grow up may be nice, just like watching flowers bloom may be nice. But I wouldn't want to become enslaved to a kid just to watch him grow up. Neither would I want to become enslaved to a flower just to watch it bloom.

Simply put, I don't derive that much joy from children, not enough to want to give up and sacrifice my life, time, freedom and peace of mind. No way. It's not worth it at all. I wonder how other people get brainwashed into wanting to sacrifice everything for kids. It's not in anyone's self-interest, and is illogical, except as a necessity to perpetuate the human race.

Sure children are necessary for the human race, just as doctors are necessary. But not everyone is suited to be a parent, and neither is everyone suited to become a doctor either.

I completely agree. Especially these days when the cost of living is so high. Having kids is expensive, stressful, and you don't get time to yourself to do things you enjoy (eg travel). Personally i'd much rather live a lifestyle of leisure, freedom, and be able to travel the world. I can't understand why anyone would rather have kids and be tied down to a mortgage. Besides, the world is already over populated, so people really should start reducing the number of kids they have, or not having kids at all.

Okay and I have challenged this before -

There is no proof of overpopulation, they said this 40 years ago, unfounded. What unsustainable is the WASTE and use of Fossil fuels can't support many more people. So elites choose to tell you not to have children other than fix the problem of WASTE and screwing over the eco-system.

There are people that have lived out of suitcase for a decade and had their children. These post smack of individualism and the dogmatic pursuit of it.

If there only three people in a home, why do you need 2000 sq ft to store all your stuff? The average size of a home in the US is 2000 sq ft....

This takes basic intelligence, its lacking in this thread. If you don't want children then just say your a selfish motherf***er then fine. Be honest with yourself.

[djfourmoney]

It's not impossible.

When I was hunting I would bring it up early. Explain how great lives will be on the non kid route, smart people get it. I always cited that survey where 70% would not have kids if they could go back in time. Deep down people know its true.

There was one girl in China I thought would be great but we couldn't get past the kids thing. I said bye. She married an Australian guy, he cheated, divorced, now she's single with a kid broke and depressed. Lady, THAT'S what I was trying to warn you about (I sound like an "I told you so" person but shit).

Then I met a really hot one, she agreed no kids is the good life, but to me she seemed the kind that would buy 1000 shoes with all our extra money. So no to her.

Met a great Korean woman, she wanted kids sorta but saw the wisdom in my plan and gave up the kids dream to gain me. We are happy and kid free. Its an easy life with no kids.

Define "Good Life"? Like Children mean poverty and suffering....

If children cost $10-15K each year, each child, then you should be increasing your income by that much. Back in the dayz, you could go to your boss and tell them you're starting a family. He would give you a raise.... That doesn't happen anymore.

So in the 80's they (the Government) gives you a tax credit to take the burden of children off the average family.

At some point personal responsibility comes into play...

[PeterAndrewNolan]

djfourmoney,
true...back in the 80s the men who had families were paid more than the single men. It was quite open and on the table. If you had a family none of the single guys argued that you NEEDED more money. The single guys were happy to work just as hard and be paid quite a bit less. Even when paid far less the single guys had a FAR better lifestyle.

Married men were ALSO given MASSIVE preference for promotions as they were seen to be more stable and more likely to put up with the politics of the place.

When I worked for IBM this was quite open even if the managers had to deny it publicly we knew what was going on. IBM did have high attrition rates for single men and MUCH lower attrition rates for men with children.

[C.J.]

IMO, finding a woman who doesn't want kids is simple...find an older/younger woman who already had kids.

In the US, woman like this are in abundance. But in other countries, children are a valubale asset...they're slave labor, with the owner being you! In many countries, being alone and independant is a stupid idea... who would help you do stuff when you can't? Who would f**k/shave/kiss/support you? Few people in the US ask themselves this.

Children are technically leeches. They want your support until they're old enough to work, they test your patience(especially if you didn't raise them well enough), they require almost an undivided attention forever, and having them die before they're old enough to understand and commit suicide is frowned upon in nearly EVERY culture. They require an incredible amount of parent-balls.

But they can be an invaluable person in your life. They can brighten your day, and... they're slave labor? I'm sure you guys can find your own reasons. :p

I understand how some people feel about children. But I suppose it's rare to see someone who weighs the positives for having children along with the negatives in the west.

[sushiman]

Agree with Winston; just go get the snip. It's your decision, you make it.

[MexMeRcUrY]

yes, I have the same problem. and I found a wonderful beautiful woman here in mexico that didnt want kids I wanted to marry her right away but the relationship was over 6 moths before I have her the ring even though is hard to find that kind of woman is also hard for a relationship to work. so I agree is almost impossible and actually thats why I got to this forum I'm looking information about countries where woman dont want kids to go to another country where woman want more their professional career than kids and that match my way of thinking that is exactly as yours.

Good luck man! Nothing is impossible

Ok so I was talking to this girl from Switzerland, everything was going great and she seemed really keen on me, wanted to meet up when I go over there etc.

The subject of children somehow came up, and I asked her if she ever wanted any of her own. She said "yes of course! do you?". I said "no, I have decided not to". At this point they always think its rather strange and ask why. I explain to them that I enjoy my freedom, want to travel, want a quiet/stress free lifestyle, and that raising kids is expensive. At that point she pretty much stopped talking to me, that was the end of it. I get this from women all the time.

It just annoys me that everyone always asks "why don't you want them" when really I should be asking them "why DO you want them?" These days raising kids is a lot harder than it used to be since women have entered the workforce. They are no longer raised properly, and are abandoned each day while the parents go to work. The mother doesn't raise the kids, a stranger does. What is the point in even having kids these days if you're not there to raise them? Women have really shot themselves in the foot with feminism. Not only is it bad for them (as they now HAVE to work), its bad for their children.

Finding a woman who doesn't want kids is nearly impossible, even in European countries. However, at least its not as difficult as it is in Anglo countries. I have found there are more women from German speaking countries who have chosen not to have children, because they are more focused on a career/education. Germany and Switzerland have a very low fertility rates compared to most countries.

Finding a woman who will date you is hard enough as it is. But finding a woman to date you who doesn't want children is nearly impossible. Anyone else have this problem?

[mentor]

I am glad I found this topic.
I don't understand why it should be so difficult to find a good girl, and not having kids.
They are the minority, but they should exist.
Why finding such girl, should be a bad one?
Materialistic, career minded, feminists, problematic ones?

In any case, we all conclude that finding a really good girl that agrees not to have kids, is a challenge.
Please share your valuable experience.

[MarcosZeitola]

Why bring up that subject? Just date them and enjoy being with them and try to avoid the topic for as long as possible.

Frankly, I can't understand why anyone wants to have kids. It doesn't make sense. There is no gain or benefit for putting up with all that annoying crap. What do you get for putting up with all the trouble? Nothing. So what's the incentive to put up with it? I don't get it.

Plus kids kill the romance in the relationship. All the focus goes to them and not on you and your partner. Taking them on vacation spoils the trip too. It's no fun going on vacation with kids. They ruin everything.

It's all pain and no gain.

If a man has no interest in becoming enslaved to a spoiled brat, why should he? What if a person has no desire to sacrifice his life, freedom, and peace of mind for a child?

Not everyone is a settle down type of person either. Family life is boring and creates no special memories. There's no romance or adventure in family life. And without romance or adventure, life becomes a rut. I've never understood the appeal of family life and why it's considered to be fulfillment.

Watching kids grow up may be nice, just like watching flowers bloom may be nice. But I wouldn't want to become enslaved to a kid just to watch him grow up. Neither would I want to become enslaved to a flower just to watch it bloom.

Simply put, I don't derive that much joy from children, not enough to want to give up and sacrifice my life, time, freedom and peace of mind. No way. It's not worth it at all. I wonder how other people get brainwashed into wanting to sacrifice everything for kids. It's not in anyone's self-interest, and is illogical, except as a necessity to perpetuate the human race.

Sure children are necessary for the human race, just as doctors are necessary. But not everyone is suited to be a parent, and neither is everyone suited to become a doctor either.

It's funny in a sad and pretty demented kind of way that you wrote all this after you already persuaded a woman into giving you a child.

[jamesbond]

Why bring up that subject? Just date them and enjoy being with them and try to avoid the topic for as long as possible.

Frankly, I can't understand why anyone wants to have kids. It doesn't make sense. There is no gain or benefit for putting up with all that annoying crap. What do you get for putting up with all the trouble? Nothing. So what's the incentive to put up with it? I don't get it.

Plus kids kill the romance in the relationship. All the focus goes to them and not on you and your partner. Taking them on vacation spoils the trip too. It's no fun going on vacation with kids. They ruin everything.

It's all pain and no gain.

It's funny in a sad and pretty demented kind of way that you wrote all this after you already persuaded a woman into giving you a child.

I was thinking the same thing. Winston said he badly wanted to be a father. Now that he is a father he regrets ever having a child.

[MarcosZeitola]

I was thinking the same thing. Winston said he badly wanted to be a father. Now that he is a father he regrets ever having a child.

I've never seen the old threads where he said he badly wants to be a father, but I would like to read them now so that I can see the change in perspective haha. For now, I'll take your word for it; I remember reading an old thread where Winston talked proudly about how much his newborn son resembled him and had "typical Wu features", or something along those lines. Then a few years later, he pretty much calls Angelo an annoying little shit and seems close to disowning him.

Pretty dramatic change of heart, damn.

[chanta76]

Kids is not for everyone. My wife wants kids badly and I don't. In matter of fact it's getting so bad that we argue allot about this.

I have mix feelings about being a father. I know other guys who are fathers and some of them are very happy. It's like they found new meaning in their life. For example one guy I knew was really bitter about life but his a father right now and is very very happy. Again different strokes for different folks. Some men are happy being father..where as others are not.

For me I grew up in messed up family and living in the USA f***ed my head that I don't want kids for that reason but for my wife sake I might give her a kid . Saying that..for women is more like an evolution drive to have kids..it's innate.

I say as man planning things..if you do have kids..you do have to work harder but also protect your own asset in case your marriage fail. I understand nowadays having a family is big investment and as a man you lose allot so it scares men away. But if you want to marry a traditional woman. Traditional woman who will cook meals for you, have sex whenever you want it, clean your house and do your laundry. Guess what 10/10 time that type of girl is old fashion where being a mother is mandatory.

[chanta76]

I also have to add I do meet guys who want kids . I think most of the poster here are special group of guys. I think guys who are also traditionalist in the sense they want to live the old fashion way tend to lean towards having kids. The problem is American society change so much it's not conducive to that life style on top of that American women are not old fashion .

Imagine America where the women are old fashion like they were back in 1950'-60 days . I imagine many posters here will have a different attitude towards family life. I think the way things are now turned so many guys off . Granted having kids is allot of work..what's the benefit besides following tradition? Well...I guess it gives you meaning from talking to dads. They say it gives them a different perspective in life.

Again different strokes for different folks. Some guys want their freedom..What I find ironic is that if you want your freedom to do what you want these are the same guys who complain about women are doing the same thing by doing whatever she wants. If you want a traditional women guess what..she will follow the traditional sense..so you have to be somewhat traditional yourself.