Advice for a black male that does not follow the stereotype

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 6:33 pm

I've been contemplating on turning to the darkside and acting like a stereotypical black guy. I am just sick of living a catch 22 lifestyle. Everybody likes to make it out like Asian males have it worse and ignore us. At least people like to see Asians succeed.

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 26th, 2013, 6:41 pm

Mr.Darcy wrote:I've been contemplating on turning to the darkside and acting like a stereotypical black guy. I am just sick of living a catch 22 lifestyle. Everybody likes to make it out like Asian males have it worse and ignore us. At least people like to see Asians succeed.

How does this relate to "happier abroad'?

Actually, many guys do capitalize on being stereotypical black guys. They go to Europe and become hip hop musicians, for one.

The time when black American guys were leaving for France was also the time that coincided with popularity of jazz and many made fortunes there and were treated very well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_Am ... _in_France

So, if you pay attention to emphasizing the great cultural treasures of your sub-culture, then it will work out just fine.

Some Africans were doing very well in E. Europe by pretending to be Black Americans ( hey, they don't know the difference there) and going on TV and doing all this black music and creating a local variety of it.

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 6:42 pm

ladislav wrote:
Mr.Darcy wrote:I've been contemplating on turning to the darkside and acting like a stereotypical black guy. I am just sick of living a catch 22 lifestyle. Everybody likes to make it out like Asian males have it worse and ignore us. At least people like to see Asians succeed.
How does this relate to "happier abroad'?

Actually, many guys do capitalize on being stereotypical black guys. They go to Europe and become hip hop musicians, for one.

Yeah, the stereotypical black guys reap all the awards.

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 26th, 2013, 6:54 pm

It's just that its the easiest and fastest thing to do. It beats studying to be another Obama. Same as white guys become English teachers. But here's a black guy who is an English teacher in Russia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBGGiuYTCFk

Anyway, what are your goals?

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 7:04 pm

All I want to be is a financially stable man with a wife that I am attracted to. It seems like my skin color and the way I act contradict in this shitty society.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » June 26th, 2013, 7:07 pm

Mr.Darcy wrote:I've been contemplating on turning to the darkside and acting like a stereotypical black guy. I am just sick of living a catch 22 lifestyle. Everybody likes to make it out like Asian males have it worse and ignore us. At least people like to see Asians succeed.

I do want to say that the 2 biggest things I have learned on HA have been:

(1) Non-stereotypical Black men have it WORSE than White men in this country
(2) Asian men have it EVEN WORSE than other races here in America.

The second was actually the bigger surprise. Most Whites don't give Asians much thought, but if they did, they think Asians have good habits, therefore good jobs, therefore money, therefore success with women.

Anyway I hope some of the Black guys here will weigh on this thread.

My two cents is:
(1) Be yourself confidently and proudly
(2) See others as they are - and see right through them
(3) Develop active defenses and comebacks - be prepared to put others down. Bullies and bigmouths secretly crave a good verbal beating.

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 7:11 pm

How can I be confident when life is practically against me.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » June 26th, 2013, 7:48 pm

Mr.Darcy wrote:How can I be confident when life is practically against me.

Not denying the obstacles you face - perhaps including some not mentioned here.

But as you take small steps, big changes will be reflected around you.

Honest.

I don't know why it works that way, but it does.

BTW........
The "Bach Flower Remedy" that will support your situation is:

"Gorse"

(available at Whole Foods and other aging-hippie organic high-end groceries and health food stores. Costs very little, does a lot).

Try it.

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 26th, 2013, 7:49 pm

Darcy, confidence develops over time while you are busy taking action.

Put societal stereotypes and expectations on hold and don't worry too much about stupid people out there.

1) develop concrete goals- you want to be successful but as what? in what time period? what is your education/talents? What degrees/diplomas do you have?
2) what wife do you want and where? when?

You need a career counseling session.

As far as being black I have so many friends, and they have certificates and BAs and MAs and working as department heads at colleges and helicopter teachers and what not.

Yup, you need a career counceling session bad.

Jester · Post by **Jester** » June 26th, 2013, 7:56 pm

Mr.Darcy wrote:How can I be confident when life is practically against me.

And also...........

remember the name of the website........

Caribbean, Latin America, Northern Europe, West Africa, East Africa, South Africa, Japan...

Exact choice depends on whether you want a place to live or just women...

Hell there are specific places within American cities that have upscale, orderly Black communities, if that's what you need. But you have to know where to look. Here in Los Angeles, Windsor Hills is like that.

But anyway start with your immediate world. Your space. Kind of a "build it and they will come" thing, at a spiritual or vibrational level. Vision, prayer, and the "Gorse" Bach remedy.

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 8:39 pm

Yeah, my dad has experienced a lot of career troubles because of the women he chose to wed in the workplace. As much as I like warm weather, I can't see the Caribbean being any better than the states due its similar racial past. It just seems like everyday that I have to be reminded that I'm black and have a hill to climb. I've been reading up on africans in europe and it seems like they were treated a lot better over there than their american predecessors. I mean just look at this guy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abram_Petrovich_Gannibal

Jester · Post by **Jester** » June 26th, 2013, 9:08 pm

Mr.Darcy wrote:Yeah, my dad has experienced a lot of career troubles because of the women he chose to wed in the workplace. As much as I like warm weather, I can't see the Caribbean being any better than the states due its similar racial past. It just seems like everyday that I have to be reminded that I'm black and have a hill to climb. I've been reading up on africans in europe and it seems like they were treated a lot better over there than their american predecessors. I mean just look at this guy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abram_Petrovich_Gannibal

There were other Blacks in Russia and Italy I think, now all intermarried. If not mistaken your friend Gannibal is an ancestor of the current heir to the British throne. FWIW.

It's true that if you're the first Black guy in town, and carry yourself well, you'll do pretty well most places, like Gannibal. Since you don't like cold, you might try New Zealand, for example.

But you are too negative on Caribbean. It is not all poor Blacks with no jobs getting high and banging steel drums. Cayman Islands is VERY upscale. Bermuda (ok not technically caribbean) is also. It varies by island. Lots of guys (of any shade) go to Dominican Republic and find any shade they want. Not a bad place to live apparently. Lots of Europeans retire there.

I think LatinAmericanCupid has a lot of DR girls. Make a few penpal friends, and make no promises. Have some fun.

Or there's ColombianCupid.

Just don't fall in love. Flirt and have fun.

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 9:19 pm

Well I guess it's different because there was no white majority to oppress in the Caribbean. White people are f***ed up here in the states because the bourgeois use racism and ignorance to hold them at bay. Also, is the navy a good option?

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 26th, 2013, 9:30 pm

Darcy, what is your education? What are you good at? What are your concrete goals?

If you want to talk to me on Skype, PM me.

Mr.Darcy · Post by **Mr.Darcy** » June 26th, 2013, 9:48 pm

I'm currently majoring in accounting and I have some knowledge in computers and I'm artistic

Advice for a black male that does not follow the stereotype

Advice for a black male that does not follow the stereotype

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