It's a lose-lose situation if you're a nice guy...

NorthAmericanguy · September 29th, 2013, 6:42 pm

I wanted to start this off by saying that this isn't another rant on American girls.

Personally, at this point in my life, I'm indifferent towards American girls, and even though you need to be careful when dealing with any woman, generally speaking, if you're a man seeking out a normal healthy relationship, a non p4p foreign woman is definitely the better choice!

That said, I made another observation about American women that I thought was interesting and I wanted to share it.

Not that my word is 100% true, but I have noticed that when it comes to Americanized Caucasian and Asian women, when they're in the prime young ages of their youth (18-25), for the most part, the majority of them tend to date/marry decent guys, even nice guys or nerds, so as long as the guy has a good job and is generally an all around decent upstanding man. The downside is that 5,10, 15 years down the line the Americanized Caucasian/Asian woman will file for divorce and rake that nice guy over the coals! They will then move in with a boyfriend (who might even be a poor bum with a drug problem and/or a criminal record) like it is nothing all while leaving their financially ruined and deviated husband left to pick up the pieces. It's like the whole marriage from start to finish was a farce.

On the other hand, American black women (and a good portion of Hispanic women too), when they're in the prime young ages of their youth (18-25), generally speaking, they tend to get themselves entangled into relationships with men who are simply no good (even blatantly so!) and unfit to be fathers/husbands.

Young black women simply don't seem to be concerned by having a baby, or having multiple babies by a man who is a career criminal, is a dead beat dad, is a womanizer, is abusive, or generally is a man who has nothing to offer and does not even care to offer anything. So what ends up happening is that by 30, most black women are single mom's because the baby father they chose is either dead, in jail, or he moved on to a much younger woman, and so, many black women are never even able to ever get married, or even just find a good man for the long hall because they didn't take their youth seriously and make sure that they set themselves up for the future. And what's funny is that so many black women wonder where the good men are, but most of them, I say, had at least 1-2 good chances of having a good man, but they passed him over when they were in their 20's all while they were having a good time having sex with everybody but the good guy who really cared for them.

Reminds me of a story that an older black woman told me who was super good looking back in her day. She told me back when she was in her 20's, she was having sexual relations with a guy and she got sick (nothing related to sex) and she called the guy up she was having sex with to see if he would take her to the hospital and he refused to take her. She said she called up a guy who liked her, but she was not having sex with and this "nice guy" took her to the hospital. She said from that moment on she changed and realized that she needed to be more careful with who she was having sex with, and that she was going to make sure she only had sex with men who really cared for her.

That said, it's sad is that no matter how you slice the cake, in America, good guys loose in the end in one way or another, and that, for whatever reason, American women seem to be truly attracted to the worse kinds of men, and/or men with no character or integrity. Just how else can you explain how a guy in jail doing hard time has a girlfriend, or can find a girlfriend from even behind bars and are willing to marry them, but I know decent looking good guys who having a hard time even getting a date?

Dating in America is just sad all around no matter how you slice it!

~NAG~

Hero · Post by **Hero** » September 29th, 2013, 7:08 pm

Dude.. it's spelled "lose" not "loose"

Teal Lantern · Post by **Teal Lantern** » September 29th, 2013, 7:13 pm

They will then move in with a boyfriend (who might even be a poor bum with a drug problem and/or a criminal record) like it is nothing all while leaving their financially ruined and deviated husband left to pick up the pieces. It's like the whole marriage from start to finish was a farce.

Be the boyfriend, not the husband.

...a man who is a career criminal, is a dead beat dad, is a womanizer, is abusive, or generally is a man who has nothing to offer and does not even care to offer anything.

So, now that you know what works ...?

Halwick · Post by **Halwick** » September 29th, 2013, 9:49 pm

Northamericanguy: Very well stated synopsis and accurate picture of the state of relationship today.

It's unfortunate that single, unattached women under 35, prefers the kind of man who is fun, exciting, thrilling, "romantic", assertive and focuses on the "3-H's": Height, Handsome and High-income. Sooner or later she realizes these kind of guys are irresponsible, unethical and unreliable. By then it's too late: he will use, abuse and dis-use her and the end result she is damaged goods.

But what is the difference between a "decent" guy and a "nice" guy?

As I see it, a "decent" man is fair and reasonable, and will not tolerate unacceptable behavior from a woman. He will not allow her to manipulate him and will straighten her out (not in a physical abusive manner, though) as needed.

Don't confuse what I've just described as the bad-boy-delinquent- criminal-minded type. The decent man lives up to his duties and responsibilities, whereas the former doesn't. The decent man doesn't use, abuse and disuse the woman.

A "nice" guy is easy-going, eager to please and will allow the woman to do as she pleases, so as to not offend her.

When a woman realizes she can't manipulate the man, she will grudgingly respect, listens and cooperates with the man, whereas she won't respect the "nice" guy she can easily manipulate and will do as she pleases.

It doesn't have to be a lose-lose situation for the decent man who knows how to keep his woman in line.

nicho12 · Post by **nicho12** » September 29th, 2013, 11:00 pm

Halwick wrote:Northamericanguy: Very well stated synopsis and accurate picture of the state of relationship today.

It's unfortunate that single, unattached women under 35, prefers the kind of man who is fun, exciting, thrilling, "romantic", assertive and focuses on the "3-H's": Height, Handsome and High-income. Sooner or later she realizes these kind of guys are irresponsible, unethical and unreliable. By then it's too late: he will use, abuse and dis-use her and the end result she is damaged goods.

But what is the difference between a "decent" guy and a "nice" guy?

As I see it, a "decent" man is fair and reasonable, and will not tolerate unacceptable behavior from a woman. He will not allow her to manipulate him and will straighten her out (not in a physical abusive manner, though) as needed.

Don't confuse what I've just described as the bad-boy-delinquent- criminal-minded type. The decent man lives up to his duties and responsibilities, whereas the former doesn't. The decent man doesn't use, abuse and disuse the woman.

A "nice" guy is easy-going, eager to please and will allow the woman to do as she pleases, so as to not offend her.

When a woman realizes she can't manipulate the man, she will grudgingly respect, listens and cooperates with the man, whereas she won't respect the "nice" guy she can easily manipulate and will do as she pleases.

It doesn't have to be a lose-lose situation for the decent man who knows how to keep his woman in line.

But being a decent man is also risky because she can easily accuse you of rape or lie to the police that you hit her and then you end up in jail. America is just a sick toxic society, plain and simple

Jester · Post by **Jester** » September 29th, 2013, 11:39 pm

Hero wrote:Dude.. it's spelled "lose" not "loose"

He wore his pants looser cause he was a loser..

ryanx · Post by **ryanx** » September 30th, 2013, 12:39 am

Jester wrote:
Hero wrote:Dude.. it's spelled "lose" not "loose"
He wore his pants looser cause he was a loser..

I always lose my cool when I can't wear my loose pants in the summer...

zboy1 · Post by **zboy1** » September 30th, 2013, 1:35 am

Great post NorthAmericanGuy! Beware of Asian American women when they hit 30s and 40s--because that's when they get-out-of-control and file for divorce on their men!

Taco · Post by **Taco** » September 30th, 2013, 3:14 am

My Filipina wife bought both of our wedding rings. In addition, I've never taken her on a honeymoon, a vacation, bought her flowers or bought her a dress and she sticks to me like glue. She's very supportive of me and rarely complains.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » September 30th, 2013, 4:47 am

Xiongmao, Everdred, and I are all nice guys. We have absolutely no trouble getting dates in Asia. Xiongmao and I were definitely dateless back home; not sure about Everdred, but he's certainly in a happy long-term relatonship with a Chinese lady now.

If thing aren't working out back home, then you might want to take a look at http://www.kayak.com/flights/

kai1275 · Post by **kai1275** » September 30th, 2013, 5:32 am

I am a nice guy too, but I have a sword for a tongue. Kinda like Paul Mooney or something like that. I am also very muscular and intimidating to literally all AW of all races. Ever hear, "I don't feel safe around you!" and you have never hit the woman? Not even screamed at them? That's me. The scary black man......woooooo!

Thank God, Chinese women love and appreciate real men that are strong.

mattyman · Post by **mattyman** » September 30th, 2013, 11:39 am

Don't have anything to do with users and trash that, take advantage of people as described in the original post. Stop using the term 'nice guy' to describe someone that lets themselves be taken advantage-of by highly toxic women in that way, silly pua jargon.

It may seem like all woman are like that, it may seem that way, especially if you've seen evidence of that in your life, or are feeling bitter, if either you or someone close to you has been on the receiving end of such an awful tragedy, it's understandable.

"It's unfortunate that single, unattached women under 35, prefers the kind of man who is fun, exciting, thrilling, "romantic", assertive and focuses on the "3-H's": Height, Handsome and High-income. Sooner or later she realizes these kind of guys are irresponsible, unethical and unreliable. By then it's too late: he will use, abuse and dis-use her and the end result she is damaged goods. "
Rubbish, maybe true if you're dealing with white trash (or black or Asian trash, it's trash all the same), but that seems like a highly cynical view and I understand that things may appear that way.

I certainly wouldn't jump to such balmy, black and white conclusions about 'nice guys' and 'bad boys'. After-all, how's that supposed to help people meet and date decent women? I understand that some of you guys may want to vent your feelings, but this does sound like negativity and resentment and resentment speaking, rather than fact or logic.

I don't mean to sound condescending, it's understandable if some of you feel frustrated by the dating scene, what your choices maybe, and of what horror-stories you've heard, but seriously, for those of you who are unhappy, it certainly won't help you move towards what's important in life, and for those guys who are lonely and at a dead-end in their lives, it will only make them feel despondent and depressed, especially if all they've seen is the worst in people.

NorthAmericanguy · September 30th, 2013, 11:51 am

Hero wrote:Dude.. it's spelled "lose" not "loose"

It's fixed now!! lol

Teal Lantern · Post by **Teal Lantern** » September 30th, 2013, 12:01 pm

kai1275 wrote:I am a nice guy too, but I have a sword for a tongue. Kinda like Paul Mooney or something like that. I am also very muscular and intimidating to literally all AW of all races. Ever hear, "I don't feel safe around you!" and you have never hit the woman? Not even screamed at them? That's me. The scary black man......woooooo!

Thank God, Chinese women love and appreciate real men that are strong.

For youngsters who don't know Paul Mooney ...

NorthAmericanguy · September 30th, 2013, 12:06 pm

zboy1 wrote:Great post NorthAmericanGuy! Beware of Asian American women when they hit 30s and 40s--because that's when they get-out-of-control and file for divorce on their men!

Yea, Americanized Asian women are not much better. From my observation, they file for divorce far less then Caucasian women, but that doesn't necessarily mean the men they are married to are happy. When I look at older married Asian men here in America, many look miserable and rarely do they have the same level of personal satisfaction as their wives. Americanized Asian women are highly materialistic and it seems to me that in order to keep an Americanized Asian woman around you have to constantly spend money on them, and buy the high ticket items that they want (i.e, 740 BMW).

I'm not speaking from hearsay. I have lived in all Asian communities, and I have done business Asians.