FutureTourist921 wrote:
Your exactly right, American women don't seem to have any respect for American men, I keep trying and trying to make myself look presentable to a girl and I don't get any attention worthwhile like I said. Yea I get hit on by fat ugly american girls and single moms or just moms in general that have kids. It's annoying. That shows me that America has very little to offer in terms of dating. Yes the guy is supposed to ask the guy out, but it's more likely to happen overseas the other way around.
My guess is, fat women find the same men attractive that hot, thin women find attractive. Single mothers are probably the same. But it could be that women with low self esteem (from being fat) lower their standards as to what they will accept. And you could also attract single mothers by giving off a 'I have a stable job' vibe or 'I am good with kids' vibe.
Let's say you went to Asia and you wanted to be asked out. In some country where the culture is more conservative and good girls are supposed to be shy, what kind of women are going to ask you out? Also, what is your objective? Are you looking for shot-term relationships or a wife? A woman who is too shy or thinks it is inappropriate to ask a man out could be a good wife.
It could be that a lot of the girls who are bold enough to ask a man out to be the slutty type, which correlates with having sex outside of wedlock, and ergo, children outside of wedlock.
I was looking for virgin. So when I lived in Indonesia, if a girl was too aggressive, that was a turn-off. I didn't have a lot opinion of a woman if she was friendly, looked at me a bit, or kind of did a middle school thing where she let someone else know she liked me who let me know. I was pretty naïve about knowing if a girl liked me, well, mainly if I wasn't into her. My radar was turned off to women I fund unattractive, which probably wasn't a good thing as it's good to be aware of that in case it effects friendships or relationships with other people.
If a woman asks a man out in some place like Indonesia, that doesn't mean she's a bad girl, I suppose. I was popular with the ladies, but they didn't directly ask me out. I met a woman on a bus and she gave me a business card after our conversation. That's a nice professional way of saying, "Here is my number" without being forward about it.
There was this one rather round girl with a plain face and short hair at one of the stores who would hit on me whenever she was me in there in the town I lived in. I said I was going home one time, and she said in Indonesian, "Can I come with you?" I didn't take her, of course. I also had a stalker who showed up outside my house, yelling up to my window in the subdivision where all could hear at about 6 AM while I was trying to sleep, "I love you" who'd talk to me about marrying me. I'd shown her no interest at all. She was apparently mentally ill. There was a girl selling Korean food on the street, an Indonesian, who just gave me this constant stare one time. She was just a little bit cute, but didn't give off the good-girl vibe I was looking for, and most girls are Muslim.
I don't think I ever had a girl there during a year or two of single-hood directly ask me out on a date. Maybe I did. I don't know. I had a friend I used to hang out with who might have suggested something, though she kept reiterating that we were just friends. She was several years older, but extremely attractive, and way too bossy to really have a long-term relationship with. I don't count her suggesting we do something as dates. We often went with another friend or more.
Come to think of it, I did have one girl ask me out. I did have a female coworker who I told I was going to go to a certain area with markets to get a leather jacket. I think she may have suggested coming with me. She was actually cute, but her hair was so short and she was another religion, so I didn't have her in my consideration set. She was very dark-skinned, too, which wasn't a deal breaker for me, but not something I normally went for. If she'd have had long hair, she would have been pretty. I thought of her as a friend. Then, on a day off, she invites me to her house to meet her mom. I'm so oblivious to girls who aren't on my radar, that I didn't realize what was happening. I got off the phone, and I called this attractive female friend mentioned above and mentioned the meal at the friend's house. She told me the woman clearly liked me, taking me to meet her mom. I had been so clueless. So I called her back and cancelled. She said she was upset with me because her mother had already started cooking the chicken. I still don't know how I should have handled it at that point. I just knew I shouldn't go over there. I'm glad I didn't lead her on after I knew what was going on. I take being asked home to meet her mom was asking me out.
Somewhere along the line, I picked up on the fact that there were subtle cues that girls liked me. There was this one young woman on a bus who told me that she liked teaching kindergarten because all the children thought she was beautiful. Oohh, this one is wanting me to tell her she is beautiful. Then she asks me how I control my libido, which of course confirmed to me that she was interested in me. I was a Christian young man, and I didn't pursue the temptation. I told her that wasn't an appropriate question to ask a young man.
Back in college in the 90's, there was this Taiwanese student, plain, kind of stout, with bit of hair coming out of her nose. She gave me her phone number. I lived out of town and worked nights or stayed in the computer lab until late and got home late. So I didn't use the phone much. But I didn't have any plans to call her anyway. It didn't even click for me that she was approaching me for a relationship by doing that because I didn't consider her to be hot, so she wasn't on my radar. Later, I saw her, and she scolded me for not calling her when she gave me her number. She seemed to me to have a skewed idea of people's obligations when it comes to phone numbers. But he didn't ask me out.
I did have a girls in the US ask me out. There was a hefty girl in my PE class who asked me to go with her in high school through a friend. Her friend came back with a question, is it because she is fat? I just said I wasn't interested in dating everyone and I didn't have to have a particular reason. How do you answer a question like that without being mean? We weren't even dating and she asked me if she was fat.
I had a girl in college ask me to study with her, and right after a girl who was 30 with a nose ring, when I was about 22, my boss actually, asked me out for a drink. It was more of a friendly thing, I suppose. But I found out later she dated men my age.
I got hit on by a prostitute once. I was traveling, and decided to stay in a cheap motel type place, just to go dirt cheap. The room was like $2 or something crazy cheap like that. Then a few Chinese dudes from China came to the place. They stood outside a room. Two Indonesian girls showed up, a 5 and a 9 point something. All three of them took a turn in the room with the 9 plus. The owner of the motel tried to have me 'play chiki chiki' with the chunky 5, which I told them was against my religion in the best language I could come up with. Later, the prostitute told me I was good-looking. But even then, she didn't ask me out on a date.
I asked a couple of girls out that I dated when I was in Korea. I never had a girl ask me out. But I did have a couple of students try to set me up with this (absolutely gorgeous, but Buddhist) fellow student from the same class, the sister of one of them, on a date. I didn't know it was a 'meeting', a Korean date, when they first took me out. I told her I didn't want to date students, which was true. She was also Buddhist, which put her out of my consideration set.
Aside from a coworker asking me to meet her mom, I can't say I've really been asked out in Asia. It seems to be more common for western women to do that, especially if they don't know you already. My point is, at least in some parts of Asia, it isn't common for women to ask men out. Women who do are outside of the norm. If you are wife-hunting, living a clean life, etc., the girls who ask you out may be unlikely to be the best matches for you.
One of the good things for my ego about living in Indonesia is, after I started picking up on cues that girls liked me (after nearly being taken home to momma that one time by a coworker) it really did boost my confidence. In Indonesia, clues would be if she gives you a gift to take home to your mother, she probably likes you and hopes to warm up someone she hopes is an in-law. I had a couple of girls do that. One gave me a handkerchief to give my mom. Someone told me that mean she probably wants to warm up the in-laws. The other woman who I was 'just friends' with, who was older than me and kind of waiting on someone else to be available gave me this big decorative thing to take home to my mom when I had my luggage carry-ons packed perfectly to be easy to carry. Maybe she had me in mind as a back-up plan after all.
A girl asking the guy out. You know a girl can make the first move sometimes....always giving the guy the burden job to do it all the time. I'm just never asked out, girls my age never check me out, don't look at me, say hi to me, and my parents say oh the reason why they won't say hi to you is because their strangers! That's BS!!!!! Guys and girls say hi to each other all the time, if they find one that's really attractive-a celebrity type of look..then yea..she'll say hi to you. American young women treat men here in America very rude. I'm 26 and that's what I see...I've seen it all in american women.
I wouldn't call not paying much attention to you if they don't know you 'rude'. Snapping at you if you ask the time or make friendly conversation is rude. You have to find an a-typical girl if you want to date in the US. But if you are looking for quality women, I just don't think the night club scene is the place to be. If you go to a club where men approach women and women shoot them down all the time, that's not the kind of environment that develops a desirable wife.
There are a lot of benefits from marrying a girl with some traditional values. Do you think the type of woman who believes strongly that a woman should respect her husband, and that wives are supposed to submit to and obey their husbands is likely to hang around a bar and shoot down the men who approach her? Those are qualities in a woman that help
her be faithful and keep her sanity. It's also a lot better for the man to be married to a woman with that attitude, willing to be led. Give women to much influence and power down the road in marriage, and they get frustrated from being the one who leads. Some of them respond by getting a divorce and taking half. It makes them discontent. Maybe you can find a traditional girl in a club.
But overseas, in a lot of places, there is even a stronger social sanction against women taking the lead in a relationship, so the girls who go against that are going against an even stronger cultural norm than in the US, since our norms against women asking men out have eroded. Might not a girl in a culture like this who asks a man off be more likely to be headstrong, have no sense of shame, if she isn't slutty?
Overseas, if you want to meet women, in some cultures, you can asks if people know single friends and ask for pictures. Koreans do stuff like that. You could ask your maid, if you hired one, for pretty single relatives in a place like the Philippines.
