Why is it taboo to say "people are closed and don't talk to strangers" even if it's obviously TRUE?

[yick]

Question to Everyone: There's something i don't get and haven't been able to figure out for years. Can anyone explain why?

Why is it that when i say that "people here are very closed and dont talk to strangers unless its business related, or that strangers dont make eye contact and arent open socially, or that the women arent approachable or open at all" etc, i feel like a freak and most people see me as a freak for saying that, even if its 100 percent true and obvious, as in the case of America or Taiwan? How can something as obvious as the blue sky make me feel like a freak and be so taboo to say openly? That is very baffling. I dont get it and never have. Totally illogical. Yet its consistent. Therein lies the mystery.

Why doesnt everyone say "thats very true" instead of looking at me awkward as if I'm a freak for stating the obvious? Very weird and twilight zone like. It seems that everyone must be under some kind of trance or mind control to think that someone who says something obvious (like the emperor has no clothes) is a freak.

I get the sense that I'm only allowed to lie and blame myself by saying something like "I'm too shy to meet people" or "i work too much and have no time to meet people" or some bullshit like that. (Which isnt even true) Blaming yourself is socially acceptable, even if u have to lie to do it. But saying that people are closed and dont talk to strangers, hence implying that its not my fault, feels very taboo and socially unacceptable. No one dares to do it. Even in alternative media no one dares to say that. Thus it makes me feel like the biggest freak to say that. Yet i would SWEAR on the Bible that its totally true, especially in the case of Taiwan or America.

So why should i lie and claim to be shy or too busy to meet people just because its more socially acceptable to say that? Especially since the real truth is that people are closed off and disconnected, which doesn't change no matter how outgoing u are? In that case then the problem isnt me then. So why am i obligated to lie so that i dont violate a taboo or unspoken rule? How can an obvious truth that i would swear to be so taboo to state directly or openly? Very baffling. I cant explain it.

Why cant anyone give me a logical explanation? Why is this such a mystery that no one will even dare to address except to try to blame me for being a freak in violating a taboo? How can an obvious truth be taboo?! Wtf?! Its kind of kafkaesque in a way, like a real mind f**k. Like in those kafkaesque thriller movies where youre not sure if u are crazy or everyone else is. (e.g. Shutter Island, The Tenant (1976))

I've been asking this question since the early 2000s. Why does no one have an answer? They either dodge the question or ignore it. Or they tell me im crazy and wrong and say something like "People here are very open and friendly. You are the only one who says that. The problem must be you." Wtf? What are they smoking?! Why are they denying what i KNOW i see with my own eyes???!!! Is everyone colluding in a lie because they are part of a hive mind or herd? Just like animals and insects are? If so it wouldnt surprise me.

Anyone wanna take a crack at this eternal mystery? Should i ask this question on Quora or Reddit? I'd probably get flamed on there for asking such a taboo question, which will yet again prove my point about this being taboo. Most people usually prefer to deny it for some reason (even though its obvious) and prefer to ridicule me instead or deny what i say. Very freaky and kafkaesque. Lol. I gotta wonder if everyone is friggin insane!? But that would be a taboo thing to ask too. So go figure.

As they say, truth is stranger than fiction. Because fiction has to be logical, but truth does not.

Because it's a capital felony under Federal law in America to talk to strangers, and in America, talking to strangers is even a form of terrorism. Because in America, talking to strangers except for business reasons is worse than statutory rape, and because in America, talking to strangers is statutory stalking which is investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, the U.S. Marshals, the U.S. Supreme Court, and punishable by three hundred (300) years to life in prison and/or the death penalty for all involved.

Because Americans are so egotistical and spoiled rotten with a bad attitude that, if you broadcast that Americans don't talk to strangers except for business reasons, to them, you're worse than a cop killer. To them, you even blew up the biggest, most crowded building in town with a truck bomb, resulting in a 4-figure casualty count. To them, you perpetrated 9/11, the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing; to them, you perpetrated every single act of terrorism that ever occurred on American soil. Because in America, there's a storm coming, but the chainsaw and stump grinder are already gassed up and laid to the base of the tree, and any tree that loses a branch in a storm is immediately and promptly cut down and hauled away. To Americans, saying that Americans are closed and don't talk to strangers except for business reasons is considered treason.

Because America herself is bent on cleansing it's entire population of all outcasts and permanently institutionalizing all outcasts, locking them away like terrorists and traitors. In America, if you even look like an outcast, America herself wants you immediately locked away like Timothy McVeigh after he blew up the Alfred P. Murrah Federal building in Oklahoma City in 1995.

You're an absolute crank.

[Winston]

I have another puzzling question:

Since 1985 or 1990, when Americans began being less social and more cliquish, millions of Americans have traveled overseas and lived overseas. So these millions must have experienced the huge difference overseas of people being a lot more open and social when it comes to meeting new people and talking to strangers. And the millions of male travelers must have experienced that foreign women are nicer, more friendly, approachable, feminine, down to earth and genuine, like real women are supposed to be.

So why then do very very few people talk about it online in their travel blogs, posts or vlogs? Hardly anyone mentions this major difference, which is OBVIOUS and easy to notice right away. Only a small handful of people have, like us.

How can that be? Seems impossible and against all odds. Do we live in a different reality than others? Or are we just losers?

Have any of you wondered about this too?

[mattyman]

RE Winston;

But mattyman, even if you meet people it doesn't mean they will be your friends. Most people you meet are just acquaintances. So meeting is not the issue. The issue is how do you find a good CLIQUE of friends that care about you and love you like you see on TV in sitcoms like "Friends" in the 1990's. In that kind of clique, the whole clique is close and cares about you and will do anything to help you. Most groups in America are loosely connected.

This is what can be painful, going slightly off the original topic.

Ever been in that situation where you feel left-out? The thought that all those lucky people around have tons of friends of the type that you describe. The thing is, it's likely they are the lucky bastards. I don't mind that, what I do mind is to be in a situation where EVERYONE AROUND ME is in one of those happy cliques like you describe (or are they?). That's why small towns can be PAINFUL and ISOLATING places to live. It wouldn't be so bad if people were inclusive to people who're feeling or looking left-out.

[Winston]

@HouseMD

Btw, you never answered my other question. What if you are in another state or overseas and don't know anyone? How do you usually meet people then without a clique? Do you have natural charisma that attracts people? Even total strangers?

What if you don't fit into the culture? Are you one of those cool people who fit into every culture he goes to? Like the people on the Travel Channel, unlike us losers who only fit into third world or second world countries?

Have you ever been in a culture you totally do not fit into before? If so, what did you do about it?

HouseMD,
I have a question. I asked some of my Taiwanese relatives -- who don't like to talk to strangers and believe it's unnatural to do so -- these questions but they have no answer. Since you are smarter than the typical person, I was wondering if you could answer them.

1. If you don't like talking to strangers, how are you supposed to make friends in America or find people to hang out with? How do you make friends exactly?

2. Suppose all your friends in America were gone tomorrow for some reason, like they all ditch you or they all die or whatever. How would you make any new friends if you can't talk to strangers? What would you do? Wouldn't you be screwed?

These are key questions. But normies have no answer to them. Why? Can you answer them? Thanks.

[Winston]

Btw everyone. You won't believe this, it's strange but true. Even in Russia or Europe, if you tell people that women are far more approachable and open than in America, some people will be weirded out, and some will even debate you about it. Even in Russia, some will debate you. Even my boss at the news gazette in Moscow didn't believe me and refused to believe anything I said. In his mind, America is super open and the movies show this, so I must be wrong, because I'm the only one who says otherwise. He kept lecturing me and urging me to go back to America and find a girlfriend to settle down with there. He said it can't be as hard as I claim and he doesn't believe that I can do better in Russia. He was a very closed minded guy who bullied and gaslighted me a lot. I don't know why I attract such a-holes.

Some girls in Russia also didn't believe me and debated me about it, even though they never been to America. For some reason, many people don't buy that foreign women are more approachable than American women. I don't know why. Regardless, it still feels taboo to bring this up, like I have broken an unspoken rule. Why is that? Especially since it's true? Very weird. How can something true and obvious and provable from direct experience, weird so many out and make me feel like I've broken a taboo by mentioning it? So strange.

[HouseMD]

@HouseMD

Btw, you never answered my other question. What if you are in another state or overseas and don't know anyone? How do you usually meet people then without a clique? Do you have natural charisma that attracts people? Even total strangers?

What if you don't fit into the culture? Are you one of those cool people who fit into every culture he goes to? Like the people on the Travel Channel, unlike us losers who only fit into third world or second world countries?

Have you ever been in a culture you totally do not fit into before? If so, what did you do about it?

HouseMD,
I have a question. I asked some of my Taiwanese relatives -- who don't like to talk to strangers and believe it's unnatural to do so -- these questions but they have no answer. Since you are smarter than the typical person, I was wondering if you could answer them.

1. If you don't like talking to strangers, how are you supposed to make friends in America or find people to hang out with? How do you make friends exactly?

2. Suppose all your friends in America were gone tomorrow for some reason, like they all ditch you or they all die or whatever. How would you make any new friends if you can't talk to strangers? What would you do? Wouldn't you be screwed?

These are key questions. But normies have no answer to them. Why? Can you answer them? Thanks.

I generally meet people through work, volunteering, and teaching. Charity events and church also work. People aren't the goal of these activities, but rather incidental to them. Do things where other people are present, activities which you enjoy, and then you'll be more likely to meet someone you want to talk to. If I had no friends immediately, these are the ways that I'd meet them.

[jamesbond]

In America your not supposed to admit that there is anything wrong, your always supposed to smile and say, "everything is great!"

[HouseMD]

In America your not supposed to admit that there is anything wrong, your always supposed to smile and say, "everything is great!"

For boomers, maybe. Millennials and zoomers not so much. We do nothing but complain about the state of our lives and the country

[Winston]

I've got a theory that may explain the answer to my question of:

"Why is it that since 1985 when Americans began being more and more antisocial, closed off, and paranoid, millions of Americans have traveled abroad, but no one says that people are more open, social and approachable overseas, except me and a small handlful of people. Isn't that inexplicable? How can millions of people fail to notice something obvious like that? I notice it first thing when I get off the plane overseas like in Russia for example. How can millions of Americans not notice it or talk about it?"

I guess the answer would be that: Normal people are conditioned to NOT even want to cold approach women or talk to strangers. So if they don't desire to even do that, they don't notice the difference. Only people who want to approach women, notice that you can't do it in America without feeling like a taboo creep, but you can overseas. But if you don't even want to do it, you won't notice the difference. Is that right? That would be one logical explanation. It is true that an average mainstream normie is not thinking "Gosh that chick is hot, I wish I could approach her and get her number and a date with her." Normies just don't think that way. They mind their own business and expect everyone else to do the same. Only freaks like us want to cold approach.

However, here's what I don't get. In American movies they show cold approach happening all the time. The protagonist male character usually meets an attractive woman randomly somewhere and later falls in love and has a relationship or love affair. When traveling, the main male character usually meets an attractive female and hit it off with her. So cold approach is shown in movies all the time. Also on TV sitcoms like Friends or Seinfeld, the main characters use cold approach to date hot women all the time.

So TV/movies make it look like cold approaching and picking up women is normal, acceptable and a common occurence in America. So why then are we the only ones who expect it to be the same in real life? Is it because normies are able to separate fantasy from reality and do not expect women in real life to be open and approachable as shown in the movies? Whereas people like me are fantasy prone and expect women in real life to be like they are in the movies? Is that the explanation?

What do you all think? @Outcast9428 what do you think?

[Winston]

I have another puzzling question:

Since 1985 or 1990, when Americans began being less social and more cliquish, millions of Americans have traveled overseas and lived overseas. So these millions must have experienced the huge difference overseas of people being a lot more open and social when it comes to meeting new people and talking to strangers. And the millions of male travelers must have experienced that foreign women are nicer, more friendly, approachable, feminine, down to earth and genuine, like real women are supposed to be.

So why then do very very few people talk about it online in their travel blogs, posts or vlogs? Hardly anyone mentions this major difference, which is OBVIOUS and easy to notice right away. Only a small handful of people have, like us.

How can that be? Seems impossible and against all odds. Do we live in a different reality than others? Or are we just losers?

Have any of you wondered about this too?

@Outcast9428 do you have any explanation to this inexplicable mystery too?

[HouseMD]

I've got a theory that may explain the answer to my question of:

"Why is it that since 1985 when Americans began being more and more antisocial, closed off, and paranoid, millions of Americans have traveled abroad, but no one says that people are more open, social and approachable overseas, except me and a small handlful of people. Isn't that inexplicable? How can millions of people fail to notice something obvious like that? I notice it first thing when I get off the plane overseas like in Russia for example. How can millions of Americans not notice it or talk about it?"

I guess the answer would be that: Normal people are conditioned to NOT even want to cold approach women or talk to strangers. So if they don't desire to even do that, they don't notice the difference. Only people who want to approach women, notice that you can't do it in America without feeling like a taboo creep, but you can overseas. But if you don't even want to do it, you won't notice the difference. Is that right? That would be one logical explanation. It is true that an average mainstream normie is not thinking "Gosh that chick is hot, I wish I could approach her and get her number and a date with her." Normies just don't think that way. They mind their own business and expect everyone else to do the same. Only freaks like us want to cold approach.

However, here's what I don't get. In American movies they show cold approach happening all the time. The protagonist male character usually meets an attractive woman randomly somewhere and later falls in love and has a relationship or love affair. When traveling, the main male character usually meets an attractive female and hit it off with her. So cold approach is shown in movies all the time. Also on TV sitcoms like Friends or Seinfeld, the main characters use cold approach to date hot women all the time.

So TV/movies make it look like cold approaching and picking up women is normal, acceptable and a common occurence in America. So why then are we the only ones who expect it to be the same in real life? Is it because normies are able to separate fantasy from reality and do not expect women in real life to be open and approachable as shown in the movies? Whereas people like me are fantasy prone and expect women in real life to be like they are in the movies? Is that the explanation?

What do you all think? @Outcast9428 what do you think?

The truth is it is fine for an attractive man with social skills to cold approach a woman, but it isn't for an unattractive man or even an attractive one that is awkward. You can do it, but only with tact, and it's honestly just not the best way to meet women in America anyway. These days no one even goes out, it's all about dating apps

[Winston]

But HouseMD, if it's ok for an attractive man to cold approach a female in America, why do we NEVER see anyone do it? Even in Las Vegas, sin city, I never see any guy doing cold approach. Everyone keeps to themselves and brings their own girlfriend. No one goes there to meet new people. Do you ever see anyone cold approach in America? How often have you seen this? And how do you know it's acceptable? Have you tried it? Other guys in this forum also say they've never seen anyone do cold approach and on the few occasions they have, it's not gone anywhere.

[HouseMD]

But HouseMD, if it's ok for an attractive man to cold approach a female in America, why do we NEVER see anyone do it? Even in Las Vegas, sin city, I never see any guy doing cold approach. Everyone keeps to themselves and brings their own girlfriend. No one goes there to meet new people. Do you ever see anyone cold approach in America? How often have you seen this? And how do you know it's acceptable? Have you tried it? Other guys in this forum also say they've never seen anyone do cold approach and on the few occasions they have, it's not gone anywhere.

I mean, I used to do it a lot. Usually while smoking, I'd offer a girl a lighter or a cigarette (I smoked some unusual brands and had really interesting lighters that would really catch peoples' eyes), strike up a conversation, see where it led. Hell, that's how I met my wife. That was eight years ago though. These days, like I said, people date with apps. Apps are just cold approaches with words, and much like the days of bars, only the attractive guys are getting any attention. The nature of dating has changed, with more than half of new relationships starting online or through an app, so the days of cold approaching in person have been killed off by technology

[Winston]

But HouseMD, even before 8 years ago, we never saw anyone cold approaching in America. In 1992 when I started cold approaching in America, I was the only one. No one else was doing it. Everone was minding their own business. This isn't about dating apps or 8 years ago. I never seen anyone cold approach in America and many guys here agree and say they never seen it either. Only in movies, but never in real life and never in public places. Why? Even in nightclubs most guys don't have the guts to cold approach. Nowhere in America do women have an approachable vibe, unless they are trying to sell something. This has nothing to do with today or 8 years ago. I don't think you understand my question.

Where did you meet your wife? At a place where socializing was more acceptable? At a party? Not in a public place full of strangers right?

[HouseMD]

But HouseMD, even before 8 years ago, we never saw anyone cold approaching in America. In 1992 when I started cold approaching in America, I was the only one. No one else was doing it. Everone was minding their own business. This isn't about dating apps or 8 years ago. I never seen anyone cold approach in America and many guys here agree and say they never seen it either. Only in movies, but never in real life and never in public places. Why? Even in nightclubs most guys don't have the guts to cold approach. Nowhere in America do women have an approachable vibe, unless they are trying to sell something. This has nothing to do with today or 8 years ago. I don't think you understand my question.

Where did you meet your wife? At a place where socializing was more acceptable? At a party? Not in a public place full of strangers right?

I don't want to get too into my life, but I'll just leave it at "you never saw it because you were never around the other side of it." Most of my friends are women, and I would see it plenty. I did my own approaching, but in a natural sort of way, as noted above. And I had some friends that were natural alpha types who would walk away with a new woman every night- no tactics, just them being them. Maybe you just didn't hang out with women or cool dudes?