The Argument "You Don't Deserve a Girlfriend Just For Being X"

[Winston]

Op, notice most of the responses to your question are delusional and out of touch. And they whine a lot. The west has been horrible for dating, sex, and marriage for a long time. Don't listen to there pua type advice. Many men really hate other men, and give bad advice to guys struggling in the dating game to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Who's whining?

What's your path to victory, that's right - you don't f***ing have one.

Is this where the fight started? If so, didn't you start it Yick? Your post above sounds a bit antagonistic right? Kind of like pushing someone and aggravating them so that they push you back? His post doesn't exactly sound civil either. You guys are like matches and gas. Easy to light up over the smallest things. lol

Remember this rule from Dr. Wayne Dyer: "It's better to be kind than right. Always seek the path to peace."

[yick]

Op, notice most of the responses to your question are delusional and out of touch. And they whine a lot. The west has been horrible for dating, sex, and marriage for a long time. Don't listen to there pua type advice. Many men really hate other men, and give bad advice to guys struggling in the dating game to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Who's whining?

What's your path to victory, that's right - you don't f***ing have one.

Is this where the fight started? If so, didn't you start it Yick? Your post above sounds a bit antagonistic right? Kind of like pushing someone and aggravating them so that they push you back? His post doesn't exactly sound civil either. You guys are like matches and gas. Easy to light up over the smallest things. lol

Remember this rule from Dr. Wayne Dyer: "It's better to be kind than right. Always seek the path to peace."

No, because he made a trolling post aimed at everyone who made a comment before he did - which means me. If he hadn't had made that post then the post I made would not have happened, I have asked him to contribute to the conversation which he refuses to do... anyway, Winston, it is there for you to see.

And he is gaslighting me - I have yet to gaslight him, I just want him to go away if he has nothing to contribute to the debate.

[Summertime]

Op, notice most of the responses to your question are delusional and out of touch. And they whine a lot. The west has been horrible for dating, sex, and marriage for a long time. Don't listen to there pua type advice. Many men really hate other men, and give bad advice to guys struggling in the dating game to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Who's whining?

What's your path to victory, that's right - you don't f***ing have one.

Is this where the fight started? If so, didn't you start it Yick? Your post above sounds a bit antagonistic right? Kind of like pushing someone and aggravating them so that they push you back? His post doesn't exactly sound civil either. You guys are like matches and gas. Easy to light up over the smallest things. lol

Remember this rule from Dr. Wayne Dyer: "It's better to be kind than right. Always seek the path to peace."

Thank you Winston. I'm not trolling anybody. I think he gives bad advice and talks down to people. In his opinion it's always the man's fault. Guys have to improve in this. Guys have to improve in that. Yet when you tell him he is being a jerk he gets defensive. He's like no no no it's not my fault. No self reflection.

[Outcast9428]

@yick

I don’t know what makes you think the “advice” you are giving is so valuable. None of it is stuff I haven’t heard a million times before. This is a “rant” board not a question board. I wasn’t asking a question, I was ranting. I don’t need your advice because I’ve already figured out what I’m gonna do. The only thing you’ve done is act like complaining about the toxic situation in the West is stupid.

My objective is to find a nice girl who appreciates my character and I’m not going to compromise with that goal. Asia is undeniably a much better market for finding girls like that regardless of a small number of outliers that you pretend are the norm.

[Winston]

Yick and Summertime,
It looks like both of you have an abrasive style that rubbed each other the wrong way. You should just apologize and forget it. No need to keep escalating the name calling feud. Lots of guys here have that abrasive personality that steps on someone's toes.

[yick]

@yick

I don’t know what makes you think the “advice” you are giving is so valuable.

Well, it wasn't just me, it was Shemp and Marcos Zeitola as well - why is it valuable though, because we're all where you want to be. Also, it is for others to read and take at will.

None of it is stuff I haven’t heard a million times before.

And what you're saying is stuff we haven't heard a million times before - nothing original whatsoever. There are people who have been on this board for over 10 years and still haven't been anywhere or done anything who type the same words in the same order as you have just done.

This is a “rant” board not a question board. I wasn’t asking a question, I was ranting.

How illuminating it was too..

I don’t need your advice because I’ve already figured out what I’m gonna do.

Let us know how it goes when you do it.

The only thing you’ve done is act like complaining about the toxic situation in the West is stupid.

Which I didn't do but never mind...

My objective is to find a nice girl who appreciates my character and I’m not going to compromise with that goal. Asia is undeniably a much better market for finding girls like that regardless of a small number of outliers that you pretend are the norm.

You didn't look up Johnny Law, did you?

Anyway, a little less yapping and a bit more action - good luck.

[Tsar]

It is frustrating how often I come across this in other areas of the internet. Whenever a guy complains about his troubles with women, he gets dogpiled by people saying things like "you don't deserve a girlfriend just because you're a nice guy." Or "you meet the bare minimum standards why do you deserve a girlfriend?"

This frustrates me for two reasons...

1. Why shouldn't a guy being nice be a major point in his favor? Western society acts as if being nice doesn't matter at all and that you are somehow being unreasonable by suggesting that it should help you out in the dating field. If society stops rewarding men for being good guys, they shouldn't be surprised when guys stop being good people. Nobody wants to be lonely and beaten down their entire life and American society seems to put constant pressure on guys to forget all their morals and start behaving like a dick, promising guys they'll finally get the romance they seek.

2. Why the f**k has getting a girlfriend started to feel like trying to get a ferrari nowadays? Apparently you have to be a particularly special person in order to get a girlfriend now? What the hell ever happened to the days when people said "everybody deserves to find love?" Nowadays it has become you only deserve a girlfriend if you are highly attractive, charismatic, and have dozens of casual friends and acquaintances?

And the biggest problem is, even a lot of the guys I know who struggle with getting girls seem to think this way now. The overwhelming majority of both the normal and outcast population doesn't seem to believe that everybody deserves to find somebody anymore. A disturbingly large segment of the population seems completely okay with dooming a fairly substantial percentage of the population to a loveless, perpetually single existence. They think the only people who "deserve a girlfriend" are people who have particularly enticing features or personality traits. I don't even consider myself to be a boring person but I still think boring people deserve a girlfriend. Pretty much all the "boring people" of the 50s, 60s, 70s and whatever decade were also able to get married. So why do you suddenly need to have this super entertaining personality to "deserve a girlfriend" now?

Why am I the only person out there who seems disgusted by this? I feel disgusted by the fact that our society has become so callous towards miserable singles. I feel like it is the sign of a fundamentally sick society that no longer believes love is important and instead values money and status above everything. And I could've sworn this happened overnight. I seem to remember just as recently as when I was a kid 10-15 years ago that nearly everybody believed love was something everybody deserved to have and that love was more important than money.

I hate this world we live in now. It feels like a nightmare I am begging to wake up from.

1. Nice...what exactly is nice? That's a very vague world. It actually has no clear status.
2. Because in the West, girls are either fat, feminist, hot sluts, or undesirable. Supply and demand.

A guy needs to go to a country he will be appreciated and have sweet, sexy girls wanting to date him.

[yick]

It is frustrating how often I come across this in other areas of the internet. Whenever a guy complains about his troubles with women, he gets dogpiled by people saying things like "you don't deserve a girlfriend just because you're a nice guy." Or "you meet the bare minimum standards why do you deserve a girlfriend?"

This frustrates me for two reasons...

1. Why shouldn't a guy being nice be a major point in his favor? Western society acts as if being nice doesn't matter at all and that you are somehow being unreasonable by suggesting that it should help you out in the dating field. If society stops rewarding men for being good guys, they shouldn't be surprised when guys stop being good people. Nobody wants to be lonely and beaten down their entire life and American society seems to put constant pressure on guys to forget all their morals and start behaving like a dick, promising guys they'll finally get the romance they seek.

2. Why the f**k has getting a girlfriend started to feel like trying to get a ferrari nowadays? Apparently you have to be a particularly special person in order to get a girlfriend now? What the hell ever happened to the days when people said "everybody deserves to find love?" Nowadays it has become you only deserve a girlfriend if you are highly attractive, charismatic, and have dozens of casual friends and acquaintances?

And the biggest problem is, even a lot of the guys I know who struggle with getting girls seem to think this way now. The overwhelming majority of both the normal and outcast population doesn't seem to believe that everybody deserves to find somebody anymore. A disturbingly large segment of the population seems completely okay with dooming a fairly substantial percentage of the population to a loveless, perpetually single existence. They think the only people who "deserve a girlfriend" are people who have particularly enticing features or personality traits. I don't even consider myself to be a boring person but I still think boring people deserve a girlfriend. Pretty much all the "boring people" of the 50s, 60s, 70s and whatever decade were also able to get married. So why do you suddenly need to have this super entertaining personality to "deserve a girlfriend" now?

Why am I the only person out there who seems disgusted by this? I feel disgusted by the fact that our society has become so callous towards miserable singles. I feel like it is the sign of a fundamentally sick society that no longer believes love is important and instead values money and status above everything. And I could've sworn this happened overnight. I seem to remember just as recently as when I was a kid 10-15 years ago that nearly everybody believed love was something everybody deserved to have and that love was more important than money.

I hate this world we live in now. It feels like a nightmare I am begging to wake up from.

1. Nice...what exactly is nice? That's a very vague world. It actually has no clear status.
2. Because in the West, girls are either fat, feminist, hot sluts, or undesirable. Supply and demand.

A guy needs to go to a country he will be appreciated and have sweet, sexy girls wanting to date him.

Fair play, Tsar. You said it in far less words than I did.

[Winston]

It seems a lot of us here have an abrasive personality. Sometimes I am like that too. That's why flame wars and fights erupt a lot. See below. We need to be mindful of this and stop speaking in accusatory tones and use more tactful language.

https://knowyourarchetypes.com/abrasive-personality/

Quick Navigation
What is an Abrasive Personality?
Abrasive Personality Characteristics
7 Features of Abrasive Personality Traits
1) A commanding and dominating presence
2) They are direct and honest communicators
3) They are outspoken and opinionated
4) They make people feel uncomfortable
5) They lack empathy
6) They only see things in black and white
7) They are impatient and pushy
Abrasive Personality Quotes
Richard M. Nixon
Marian Keyes

Abrasive Personality Characteristics

The abrasive personality belongs to those with a gift for winding up their fellow human beings the wrong way.

Usually motivated by their own need for perfection or superiority, the abrasive personality has a very honest and direct method of communicating with those around them, seemingly without an innate natural filter through which they moderate their words or actions.

This can lead to others perceiving them as rude, hurtful or intimidating, although this is not necessarily their intention.