Happier Abroad Forum Community

http://www.happierabroad.com/alternative.php

Now let's look at the alternative to going abroad - staying in the US and following the standard pseudo-advice commonly given to the dateless: 1) Work on yourself, and 2) Get involved in activities and clubs.

Where do you think this would get me? Let's see, I work on myself for a few years, and enhance my desirability a bit. Then maybe ONCE every few YEARS, I'll find someone who wants to date me, and if I'm lucky she might even be somewhat cute or attractive. But that's ONCE every few YEARS! (which was my dating record in the US already) Plus, there's no telling how long it will even last when it comes either (my last American girlfriend lasted only 5 weeks!). Now does that spell wide pool of CHOICES to you? I think not! Life is too short for that. On the other hand, look at my wide assortment of dating choices overseas in my collage (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm). I think that says it all. Anyone would rather have lots of choices constantly present, then just ONE choice every few years, or none at all! Get real.

And besides, even if you did "work" on yourself and became a great guy with wonderful qualities and a lot to offer, so what? If you're not a woman's type in America, and hence not desirable, then all you will get is a pat on the back from women and be told, "Congratulations. You have many great qualities and a lot to offer. I'm sure you'll be a good catch to the right woman someday." What's that going to get you?! Rather than wait years (or never) for "someone" who finally appreciates me, I'd rather be DESIRABLE to women in general, so that I have CHOICES anytime I want, including NOW! And in some foreign countries where the factors are in my favor, I have just that. Life is too short, so why wait years or never?!

As to number two, been there, done that. Sure I can join activities and clubs to meet girls, or take classes popular with girls (cooking, yoga, swing dancing) or just simply going to places where the girls are. Anyone can do that. But look at reality here. Meeting lots of girls you like isn't going to get you any dates if you're not their type. They're still gonna blow you off if you show interest. All that will come of it are polite conversations, but nothing more. And if you try to make something more out of it, they blow you off or refuse politely, saying that they have a boyfriend or that they prefer to have time to themselves. So sure, you can meet lots of girls in America, there are places and activities for that, but if you aren't their type, which I never am, then you'll only be left with disappointment, a huge let down, and blow to your ego. You will be left wondering,

"What's wrong with me? Why am I not dating material? Why did those girls say they would rather be alone then hang out with me?"

But let's be honest here. How many dateless people do you know who turned their dating life around by simply 1) Working on themselves and 2) Joining clubs and activities? Virtually nobody right? So as you can see, this advice is simply worthless.

Well f@#$ that. Why deal with that when there's "dating paradise" overseas?! Life is too short to waste. You gotta make the best of it NOW!

In the end, you gotta ask yourself this. Would you rather forever endure constant rejection from women, such as this fan from my forum received in this letter:

viewtopic.php?t=4381&start=10

"Paul, i have to tell you something. I have met someone and he is fast becoming a very important man in my life. I am having feelings toward him that I haven't felt in a long time and I want to see where this is going to lead. He has made me realize that there is life inside me that I can feel again, that I am a woman as well as a mother and my needs are important too. It was nice meeting you but I don't think that I want to persue anything more than friendship with you as I have some very strong feelings toward this other man. I would prefer not to correspond with you and would like it if you don't call me anymore, I don't have feelings toward you in that way. Your daughter is beautiful and you need to make her the focus of your life, never let her want for anything. It was nice knowing you, Jodi"

Or, would you rather live like this: http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm

I rest my case.

Winston

A great many "mens rights" types on the internet are in realty homosexuals or pederasts.

Male sexual frustration, in any form, works to their advantage. Even if only 1 in 1000 men that take the "work on yourself" route goes gay in a moment of weakness, thats still preferable (to the fags at least) then men seeking and FINDING happiness abroad...then the trend "going viral".

This circumstance is rife at the american women suck blog, where a phony baloney bullshit artist whines for 8 years but in the end dont do a friggin thing to fix the problem.

The ones doing to most screaming are usually the queers.

Honestly I think the "work on yourself" route should still apply no matter where you are or what your situation is. I'm currently not in the best shape and I know I would definitely like to work on and improve myself for me, not just to meet girls.

I know some older guys who are pretty secure financially, and when they were young they never worked on themselves, only focusing on school, career, etc. But now that they have the time to go to the gym, take on extra hobbies/activities, I see that they really start to become more confident and enjoy life more. In general, girls can sense when a guy is confident and happy with himself, which they see as attractive.

Back in college, I started going to the gym for a short period. My friend really motivated me and made it fun, and I simply felt better because of that. I also noticed that girls DID start noticing me more when I was in better shape. But I only saw that as an extra perk. I just felt good when I was working out. Also my friend made it a lot more enjoyable because I would be bored doing it alone.

So I do think that you should always work on yourself, not to get girls, but just for yourself. I know I don't enjoy being a couch potato and I felt the best I ever had when I was active and exercising.

Well said, ABC! I was about to say the same thing.
Best, K.K.

I agree, Winston. Years ago, I made the mistake of thinking that American women had the ability to average a man's attributes out. In other words, I thought they were able to see his positive attributes, and kind of average them out with what he lacks. Wrong! They still will say, "Almost there, now you just have to work on such and such, then women will be all over you". I got all built up in the gym, and at one time, on occasion, even had women trying to pay me for sex. And had shit loads of women who wanted no strings attached sex. It was then that I realized, all I did was manage to get women physically attracted to me, but they still wouldn't date me because I tend to have a lower social status than their dream guy. They saw me and I think they thought that I must be the type of guy who had a tremendous amount of experience with women and was therefore, the perfect ladies man. And when they found that I'm wasn't the "super social soap opera type guy" that you find on soap operas, they passed me by. And I still see this to some extent, even with Ukrainian women. But they aren't near as bad, so I at least have a chance with them.

Jtest, well I don't know what you would ever complain about then. I'm sure lots of guys wouldn't mind if women only wanted "no strings attached sex" with them and be fully satisfied with that.

Maybe you are a romantic at heart, or desire a relationship or need the girl to be emotionally attached to you?

WWu777 wrote:Maybe you are a romantic at heart, or desire a relationship or need the girl to be emotionally attached to you?

I guess thats it then. I never did have much desire for sex. Its weird, I know. I'm highly attracted to women, physically, but mostly its their shape and the way they look naked. It's mostly the "presence" of a woman that I'm after.

jtest28 wrote:

WWu777 wrote:Maybe you are a romantic at heart, or desire a relationship or need the girl to be emotionally attached to you?

I guess thats it then. I never did have much desire for sex. Its weird, I know. I'm highly attracted to women, physically, but mostly its their shape and the way they look naked. It's mostly the "presence" of a woman that I'm after.

W: Well you do have a point there in that usually the sex is not as good as the anticipation you get from the physical beauty. Unless of course, they have great love making skills.

A woman's presence can be intoxicating and make you feel alive and new, if she's feminine and carries herself in a certain manner, producing that type of chemistry. There are girls whom I am perfectly happy to just sit and talk to, but those are rare. Very few girls give off that kind of chemistry where I am so comfortable and intoxicated by their presence, that I'm totally happy and don't care about having sex with them. I miss that feeling.