Happier Abroad Forum Community

Here's a vent sent to me by an immigrant female from South Africa. It's so true!


Hi Winston,

I came across your site today and I have to agree with all that you say.
I am a 26 yr old White South African woman married to an American man. I have been in USA for 4 years.

I will give you my perspective as a non-western woman.

The first thing I found was the jealousy and competition among everybody. Every time I go out I get dirty, mean looks from other women/girls - and my husband has noticed that.
Women are so jealous of each other - and the jealousy is even among the men!

American women are very feminist. They are very masculine and loud, and refer to me as a "girly-girl" instead of seeing that a they should also be "girly-girls"
I get tired of being told that I need to gain weight, when it is they who need to lose weight, but of course it is not "ok" to say so - yet it is "ok" for them to critisize me for being thin.
They are very anti-men and don't understand that men and women have different roles.

I am amazed to find that women go out in their pajamas! I won't even check my mail-box in my pajamas let alone go shopping in them!

Americans constantly ask me silly questions such as "So, if you are from South Africa why are you white?"
And "So do you have lions roaming around?"
"So - you have computors over there?"

They also seem to find it difficult to understand any accent other than their own.

Before coming to USA I thought Americans were much more intelligent than this....I am amazed at their ignorance.

They have no concept of what goes on in the rest of the world and nor do they have any interest.
They are very insecure people who think that if they own enough it will somehow make them a success.

I did not expect America to be this way. I really am unhappy here, and not only I but my husband is as well, even though he is American. If we had the money we would move far, far away from this superficial country.

Thank you Winston, I am glad that you have discovered how much better foreign women are, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

With all those movies about S Africa and Mandela, the Boers, and even the recent movie about the S African rugby team filmed on Hollywood they still ask those questions? These must be non-TV watchers.
Strange. I guess people arond the world need to ask Americans how come they are not red ( as in Indian Red). And whetther buffalos roam around near their house.
These are rarely if ever asked.
Well, one less thing we have to worry about- those ignorant women invading S. Africa.

I thought everyone in South Africa looked like Shaka Zulu. Whadda ya talkin' about? /just kidding.....

Here is a Soviet time caricature on how an American with his dollars is making all these other imperialists work for him


http://www.davno.ru/posters/collections ... er-12.html

- talking about ignorance. The ones carrying the palankin are a South African, a Rhodesian, an Israeli and then, I think it is a NATO man in the back.

The way I saw South Africans was just like in that caricature- people in knee high socks and pith hats with a little whip.

Times past I met an amazingly sweet lady from South Africa. A brief thing but I will never forget her.
I often do wish at times it could have been her to marry. Even though it wasn't so long ago, she reminded of me like what one would imagine of a wife of the 1700's. Was not even my type physically. An average looking lady by way of the UK and Holland, but it was her nature I just melted over.
The way a female should be.

If that poster is reading this thread, PLEASE do not let those others drag you down, or make you harsh with a tough shell like they are! Preserve your femininity and delicacy at all costs! If must be, get out of there!

Thank you for writing.

Whether she accepts it or not, she IS a western woman. South Africa is part of the Anglosphere and descended from Dutch-germans.

She is correct about everything else. Misinformed, uneducated, feminist and insanely jealous. Sounds about right.

J.Adama wrote:Whether she accepts it or not, she IS a western woman. South Africa is part of the Anglosphere and descended from Dutch-germans.

From what I can gather, white South Africans arguably belong into two categories - either they are of British descent (probably an effect of British influence throughout the 1800's and early 1900's) or Afrikanners, who are descended from the Dutch and to a lesser extent, Germans. German is still spoken in nearby Namibia, although there are far fewer whites there.

Not that it matters.

The only South African I ever knew personally was this guy, who lived in my building when I worked in Hollywood. I remember he talked a bit about how, because of his accent, he was always cast as a bad guy.



Even though I watched the short lived, vampire detective series Moonlight regularly, I didn't even recognize him in it, even though I saw him just about everyday. One of the complaints he had about casting folks was that they didn't even place his accent. It was just "foreign" and, thus, bad guy.

I don't know if his wife was South African, as I never talked to her, but she was nothing like any of the other women I saw around there. Very feminine, quite and seemed quite supportive of whatever he was doing, as I imagine it was not an easy road for a struggling actor. (No one successful was living in my building)

Terrence wrote:The only South African I ever knew personally was this guy, who lived in my building when I worked in Hollywood. I remember he talked a bit about how, because of his accent, he was always cast as a bad guy.



Even though I watched the short lived, vampire detective series Moonlight regularly, I didn't even recognize him in it, even though I saw him just about everyday. One of the complaints he had about casting folks was that they didn't even place his accent. It was just "foreign" and, thus, bad guy.

I don't know if his wife was South African, as I never talked to her, but she was nothing like any of the other women I saw around there. Very feminine, quite and seemed quite supportive of whatever he was doing, as I imagine it was not an easy road for a struggling actor. (No one successful was living in my building)

A British guy. Hollywood likes to have villains with British accents.

Here is a response from the South African woman to this thread:

Hi Winston

Thank you for putting up my post, very much appreciated.

I read a few of the comments, i noticed one of your posters is under the impression that i am a westerner----he is wrong. Africa is not and will never be a western country and I would like to make that clear. Maybe he skipped his geography classes?


Take care

SJ

White South Africans are as African as anyone else.

I am very curious about the distinction between other Western Countries and South Africa because it seems to be English-speaking and very developed compared to other African countries. The only movie I've seen is District 9, which is a sci-fi. Otherwise, I read some wikipedia stuff about South Africa and watched a Discovery channel that had a feature about the country. How is the economy there? How about jobs? How about education? How do people spend free time? Do they hang out? Are they close to each other? Is there obesity in South Africa?

I know she doesnt want to be associated with the west. The west isnt just a geographical location. South Africa is just as "western" as Canada and Australia. It just so happens to be in Africa. Yes, Australia is part of "the west" also. So what.

J.Adama wrote:I know she doesnt want to be associated with the west. The west isnt just a geographical location. South Africa is just as "western" as Canada and Australia. It just so happens to be in Africa. Yes, Australia is part of "the west" also. So what.

The Dutch/German/Flemish descendants who formed an Afrikaner ethnic group are not like Canadians. They are very much part of the African tribal system and they have severed all ties with the West. Plus they were isolated and ostracized by the West as well. They went their own way in the 1600-1700. As early as in the 1700s one of them proclaimed-" I am an African". So, there you go!

Also, many Afrikaners do not speak English and do not want to be part of the Anglosphere. They are also not Dutch or citizens of Holland or Belgium or Germany. They were the ones who built the country, who fought the Brits and declared the war on the British Empire. They formed their own language and culture based on the African soil and wish to remain distinct. And definitely, the Black South Africans with thier tribal culture do not want to be part of the West. The ones who are Anglo are the descendants of the British settlers in some provinces. Maybe these wish to be the West.

America/ CN/Oz have been allied culturally, economically and militarily with each other. Not the Afrikaans speaking S. Africa. Totally isolated and cannot easily be pigeonholed into some convenient classification.

Here is a S. African dating site:

http://www.southafricancupid.com/

See what a salad bowl of races that is.

ladislav wrote:

J.Adama wrote:I know she doesnt want to be associated with the west. The west isnt just a geographical location. South Africa is just as "western" as Canada and Australia. It just so happens to be in Africa. Yes, Australia is part of "the west" also. So what.

The Dutch/German/Flemish descendants who formed an Afrikaner ethnic group are not like Canadians. They are very much part of the African tribal system and they have severed all ties with the West. Plus they were isolated and ostracized by the West as well. They went their own way in the 1600-1700. As early as in the 1700s one of them proclaimed-" I am an African". So, there you go!

Also, many Afrikaners do not speak English and do not want to be part of the Anglosphere. They are also not Dutch or citizens of Holland or Belgium or Germany. They were the ones who built the country, who fought the Brits and declared the war on the British Empire. They formed their own language and culture based on the African soil and wish to remain distinct. And definitely, the Black South Africans with thier tribal culture do not want to be part of the West. The ones who are Anglo are the descendants of the British settlers in some provinces. Maybe these wish to be the West.

America/ CN/Oz have been allied culturally, economically and militarily with each other. Not the Afrikaans speaking S. Africa. Totally isolated and cannot easily be pigeonholed into some convenient classification.

Here is a S. African dating site:

http://www.southafricancupid.com/

See what a salad bowl of races that is.

Are you saying that there are no British descendants there who have influenced the culture?

As far as I know, many of the Afrikaaners there are bilingual. Many Afrikaaners and British intermarry without any problems whatsoever.

I dont see the relevance of a military alliance between oz, england, canada, usa.

Either way, the country was founded by westerners. Then the British came (more westerners) and brought them back into contact out of isolation.

Their laws, AFAIK, are based on old Dutch law. Is it based on some non-western system???

It may have been disconnected from the fold for a while. Nonetheless, it is still a westernized country.