Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

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Tsar
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Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

Here was a Captain Save-A-Hoe
He went up to the ship's wheel
Told his wimpy crew to row, row
He thought he had nerves of steel
Until placed under close scrutiny
Then he rescued a nympho skank
He caused a really terrible mutiny
Now the Captain walks the plank
Then came the yacht of Chad the Jock
He was saved because he's a real simp
Then was handed a great big stein of ale
The skanks all laughed because he's a gimp
He became ill and then turned green at the pail
His parrot said ye scurvy dog, there be land ahoy
Chad and his sluts unloaded the laughable boy

@Voyager1 No offense, just a joke.


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Voyager1
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Joined: July 11th, 2016, 7:53 am

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Voyager1 »

That was lame but at least you are doing something "creative" with your time.

Now here's mine:

There once was a boy named Tsar
Who could barely afford his car
He went to and fro
To find a virgin hoe
None could be found where he's at
So he got on a plane
With all his video games in his sack
Off to Bulgaria he went
Taking every cent
He forgot to declare his new iPhone
So customs made him pay through the nose
A dyke bitch
With a glare in her eyes
Knew what he was after
When he got to his apartment
He jumped online
To meet a bevy of teen girls
None would agree to meet him in person
They were just playing online games
So he went to the supermarket
Bought some wild boar
And vodka to wash it down
When he ran out of money
It wasn't very funny
So back on a plane he went
To Providence, Rhode Island where he spent
Most of his time looking at his arms
Finding imaginary worms
No doctor would help him
Told him he was insane
So off to Mexico he will go
With hopes of an operation
And finding his Quinceañera Princess

Best of luck
Last edited by Voyager1 on July 13th, 2021, 1:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Tsar
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Joined: August 7th, 2012, 12:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

Voyager1 wrote:
July 12th, 2021, 4:27 pm
That was lame but at least you are doing something "creative" with your time.

Now here's mine:

...

Best of luck
For a joke it wasn't funny unless I am laughing about how bad it was. Was not a sonnet and it didn't rhyme.

I honestly have bad luck or Murphy's Law...I wonder what will happen this time...but maybe I have good luck because I have so much bad luck at the moment. My guess is I get an allergic reaction to a pharmaceutical drug that I buy.
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Tsar
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Joined: August 7th, 2012, 12:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

He was the warden of the brig
He sailed in a great wooden ship
Wearing a very archaic white wig
Thought he was all retro and hip
He took a sip of really bad grog
He became drunk really quick
Then he sailed through thick fog
He hit an iceberg...not with a pick
His boat was going to go down
The last voyage of the Voyager One
Would he swim back to his town?
He didn't have a game he ever won
Some say he tried to make a wish
And transformed into a giant fish
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Tsar
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Posts: 3015
Joined: August 7th, 2012, 12:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

Tsar made a hot girl his slave
Broke her in on a nice white bed
After her pleasure that Tsar gave
It was the first time she was bred
How old was the beautiful flower?
That's something that Tsar won't tell
Old enough for her first cum shower
Unless of course you wish him well
She let out so many sweet sighs
While getting pounded like a slut
Taking all Tsar's really good creampies
She has a change to her sexy strut
She's now pregnant and produces milk
Her body is very fine and soft as fine silk

★Tsar★
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Tsar
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Joined: August 7th, 2012, 12:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

PAG bought a new designer bag
And showed everyone a new watch
What a flamboyantly bragging fag!
Think he sorta looks like Sasquatch?
What does PAG keep coming back for?
He makes great posts and brings smiles
Cornfed, please don't insult his filthy whore
Secretly, PAG dates a white teen boy called Miles
Sodomy isn't bad because he gets great pleasure
You're going to hell for being a reprobate gay!
Plowed into a tunnel to bury his manly treasure
What, you big muscly black bear? Nothing to say?
A foul man who lies with whores and white boys
A nasty, nasty, nasty guy that only loves sinful joys

(No offense)

**********************************

Where did our resident hog run off to?
He was such a really, really Happy Guy
His disappearance made us all blue
But maybe pigs can grow wings and fly
He needs to come back to eat some slop
He needs to roll in the mud and get all dirty
And cause his tail to move and ears to flop
Then find a really fat sow and get all flirty
That's a really great pig...a really great swine
One time he almost crushed Obama to death
The French would say, pig boy doesn't get wine
One sneaky snort gave Joe Biden his last breath
That's our great mascot, Happy the Pig that can Fly
Where are you Happy Guy? You are really a great Guy

@HappyGuy (No offense)
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Tsar
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Joined: August 7th, 2012, 12:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

There was a guy who loved to talk
Some called him Tamingstrange
Couldn't even get a p*ssy dry as chalk
Then he went to practice on the range
Wow, he thought, this is really very fun
He had a smile on his face for a week
Because he was shooting a loaded gun
Hiding in a girls locker room, he would peek
It was finally the greatest day, he thought
He would honor the one and only Saint
He would use the powerful gun he bought
Blood would color corpses like red paint
He told cops... hey, you know, I can't be tamed
He told the judge...you know, I can't be blamed

@Tamingstrange

LoL, just a joke
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Winston
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Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Winston »

A poem i wrote before:

Why I'm Happier Abroad
By Winston Wu

Let me tell you why I'm happier abroad.
Firstly, there are better broads.
So I can have many pretty dates,
And drink it up with my mates.
With a much better dating life,
I can find a better wife.
With more and better dating,
Comes more and better mating.

The process of making friends,
Is a fun endeavor without end.
With a better social life,
I can meet people without strife.
People will talk to strangers,
Even if I am a mere lone ranger.

When abroad I can be myself,
Even if I look like a strange elf.
Thus I have wholesome mental health,
In addition to the increased social wealth.

Food abroad is more natural and healthy,
And affordable to those who aren't wealthy.
Thus I can lose more weight,
And lose my self-hate.
With a lower cost of living,
I need not be starving.

Many lands abroad have richer cultures,
Whereas my land has mere vultures.
Overseas people have more authenticity,
Amidst their social and cultural activity.

These are the reasons I'm happier abroad,
Right beside my lovely broads. :)

What do you all think? lol
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
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MarcosZeitola
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Posts: 2602
Joined: May 31st, 2014, 12:13 pm
Location: Phillipines

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by MarcosZeitola »

Hey, @Tsar where is my sonnet? :lol:
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Tsar
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Posts: 3015
Joined: August 7th, 2012, 12:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Re: Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

Post by Tsar »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
September 6th, 2021, 10:54 am
Hey, @Tsar where is my sonnet? :lol:
Here's a Haiku :wink:

The forum's very best
He's a guy with great success
Better girls than the rest
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