Post Original Sonnets About Forum Members

[Tsar]

All these Sonnets are just an innocent joke or meant to be funny.

In some sonnets, I try to reflect the actual member but with a little humor too.

If you're poem is one of the offensive ones, it is almost entirely a joke.

No poem should be completely offensive but obviously, sometimes offensive things are funny. The internet isn't supposed to be a "safe space" because that's what a bedroom or a "panic room" are for...some of the poems might be serious and really relate to the member with a few funny lines. No real offense is meant to be taken by members if they feel any offense...

If you want to write a poem to add to the thread, be sure you follow the correct format for a sonnet.

I will begin...

..............

The greatest and wisest is a guy named Wu
He started a great movement and a forum
Smarter and more clever than any Gypsy or Jew
He acts with honesty and great decorum
Making peace with even the ugliest of trolls
Posting interesting discussions of topics deep
Because that's just how the Wise Wu rolls
Much unlike London's most icky rubbish heap
Like a nomad he travels for girls and for fun
Seeing more new things and more new places
Sometimes going to places with snow or with sun
Hoping to date sexy foreign girls with beautiful faces
He tries to be sure the forum is fun and not a bore
While he wishes to once again travel and go on a tour

(I needed a good line to rhyme with Wu. I have great respect for gypsies and Jews).

@Winston What do you think about the sonnet?

...

He can act very silly but is also a smart man
Years ago he was added to a register
Does he even have any real plan?
Can he find a girl then befriend her?
He accosted a terrible American teen
Now he will always have a big red stamp
As a friendly guy, he was treated very mean
Will he go abroad or will he become a tramp?
He wants to feel alive and be free
Live the best life possible is his motto
Sometimes he sleeps behind a tree
Dreaming of winning the grand prize in Cupid's Lotto
Will he eventually go abroad to get a virgin or a whore?
Or is he destined to be alone in America forevermore?

(@dancilley You should post more, you made some great posts recently)

.....


And of course, this is the best one yet...down below... because it is all about me.

*

A great and majestic philosopher king
He went by the powerful alias of Tsar
In time he will wear a crown and imperial ring
After being victorious in many lands afar
Magnificent and with splendor of gold
He captured the hearts of many girls
A legend whose global epic will be told
Beautiful princesses purer than pearls
At his enemies, he waved his scepter
All his millions of fans started to cheer
His past would be nothing but a specter
All the evil envious females began to glare
He obtained a princess, a fortune, and a crown
All his enemies in envy or rage will slowly drown

(All about me, ★Tsar★) @Tsar

............

There was a Kiwi who desired a Neo-Reich
Trying his best to find a good Kiwi girl
Until there came a Prime Minister Dyke
He wished the Queen would make him an earl
Lost like a ship without a sail and without a sea
He wants a homeland that is entirely White
He thought, that's where I really want to be
It would truly be the greatest sight
But reality has him going into exile
He wants a white girl from his nation
But to want the impossible is denial
He must go on a long holiday vacation
Like Tsar, maybe he will find a sexy Latina
Otherwise, he needs to find a Russian ballerina

@Cornfed What do you think?

..........

He was a black guy called PAG
Maybe he's Spence the Mulatto Fence?
A troll that everyone viewed as a Fag
Even more of a bore than Mike Pence
How could a man be much like a worm?
Did his ass get torn during a gay rape?
Did he get brain damage pounding a dirty hoe?
Did he get diseased after making a secret sextape?
I guess we on Happier Abroad will never know
But some say his pointy head has a deformity
What a monster! Such an impish, dwarfish tard
He is a child, a man boy, that wants conformity
Violate his safe space? Then send him a card
Why is a guy like him so mental and stricken?
Don't poke fun. Send him hoes and fried chicken!

LoL...PAG, aka @Italianman (that is not Italian), are you Spencer? No offense, just a joke. I actually think you should post more often.

........

He calls himself Downing Street Yick
He acts like he is a very classy duke
Loves to insult guys and call them prick
Sometimes he makes people violently puke
He doesn't believe guys should be dating teens
He asks Chinese Cougars to help his little head
Just like a baby, he refuses to eat vegetable greens
A female Communist Soldier almost shot him with lead
He thinks he's great and much bigger below than Big Ben
Sexy girls whisper things like what a big, ugly British toad
He wanted to sleep late so he poisoned his neighbor's hen
His hoes whisper that he isn't large but has a small chode
Everyone must know he's more of a Clown of Downing Street
The Queen would say he's the worst Brit you could ever meet

@yick It's just a poem. No offense meant.

.......

There was a man past his prime called Shemp
All the good Kievan girls called him an old dirty cur
He got scammed and smoked moldy hemp
Then he found a sexy college whore he made pur
What a babe he thought, I got the hottest new toy
Little did he know was that he was only pounding ass
Weeks later he realized he was boning a ladyboy
Must have been some LSD mixed into the moldy grass
He thought maybe a ladyboy isn't that bad to pound
Until he saw the ladyboy had a much bigger dick
She tied up Shemp and began to bone him to the ground
He was screaming because she was hard, long, and thick
Now Shemp exists as a bottom to please his ladyboy friend
And he can never get the strength to get a "real girl" girlfriend

(No offense @Shemp, it's just a joke)

.........

He lives in a shanty, rotting, old poor man's shack
Thinks he's an ingenious and great doctor like House
In college he would motorboat every obese girls rack
Is he actually a great man or more timid than a mouse?
Both brain and ego smaller than a big boobed ghetto hoe
He knows more drugs than a self-educated junkie
His life more like a horror written by Edgar Allan Poe
Disciplined for banging a college intern. No more getting funky!
He has more flamboyance than an obnoxious effeminate gay
He doesn't know how to talk normal if his patient is a negro
His best advice for patients is to be quick to give him pay
What else would you expect from a white puppy with a big ego
He's a doctor known for telling fat women they're way too plump
Would you rather see him or a doctor more like Forrest Gump?

No offense, @HouseMD. It's just a joke...

...........

And for a former forum member...

There was a great guy called Ghost
He wrote an expatriation guidebook
Then Yick turned him into charred toast
He ran away to hide in some dark nook
Some say he still pays a visit on Halloween
Wanting to make Yick pay for what went down
Yes, he too hated Tsar's desire for a teen
He will miss Tsar getting his golden crown
Ghost won't be getting any tricks or treats
Sorry Ghost but you deleted all your posts
And you will miss seeing Tsar's amazing feats
All you left behind are memories and boasts
You should go attend a Mad Hatter's feast
It is now time for tea, you miserable beast!

@Ghost

LoL...He would always think I would never go abroad, which I have a few times now for long amounts of time...I wonder what he would post now considering everything since he left...

..........

Any other members want to request a sonnet? If I can't write a sonnet about you, it either means you don't post enough or there's not much to work with. But you won't know unless you ask.

Forum members can also request a sonnet about other members or a second sonnet about themselves or other forum members.

[yick]

They're quite good, Tsar, need to get them to rhyme a bit better but good effort - B plus!

[Shemp]

Clearly Tsar has an active imagination, which thankfully now has something productive to work upon (sonnets) rather than obsessing over worms. I strongly recommend that Tsar wear a condom if and when he ever gets a girlfriend or visits a Mexican whorehouse, because there is no telling what will happen to his mental health if and when that active imagination of his starts worrying about HIV, Herpes and other incurable STDs.

PS I never take drugs, so I don't where Tsar got that from.

[Cornfed]

Nothing terrible about the poems, but I take it we are using the term "sonnet" rather loosely.

[Tsar]

Clearly Tsar has an active imagination, which thankfully now has something productive to work upon (sonnets) rather than obsessing over worms. I strongly recommend that Tsar wear a condom if and when he ever gets a girlfriend or visits a Mexican whorehouse, because there is no telling what will happen to his mental health if and when that active imagination of his starts worrying about HIV, Herpes and other incurable STDs.

PS I never take drugs, so I don't where Tsar got that from.

1. I do have parasites. (Subcutaneous. Destroyed some veins in my left arm). Trying to identify them myself based on symptoms is difficult but I am currently assuming either Dirofilaria or Sparganosis. Both are subcutaneous. I am not ruling out some other tapeworm variants but based on my symptoms, it is likely one of the two I meant. Although there are other helminths it could be. Unlikely but possible are actual Filarial parasites typically found in Africa and Asia due to climate change, travel, and migration. Munchies on raw garlic cloves is getting tiring but thankfully, really soon, I will be buying pharmaceuticals at pharmacies in Mexico that should kill everything except things in subcutaneous cysts that I may need surgery to fix (just like surgery on my veins if possible). If I was going to die quickly then it likely would have happened by now. Might still happen in time quicker than it would have without treatment or diagnosis. But I definitely lost 10-20 years off the end of my lifespan even if I am successfully diagnosed and cured, because how could I not after what happened to me. The issue with what I have is immunity cannot beat parasites and some can do a lot of damage, and they're difficult to diagnose if someone gets an uncommon or rare variety, if it has uncommon or rare manifestations, or it is really uncommon for the region contracted. Plus, being in the US is terrible for diagnosis. In Mexico, all I need is a doctor to take me seriously, do tests I want to look for them, and any they think might help too. But since I am poor, I will need to do tests piece by piece since I can't afford everything at once plus a girl plus other things.

2. I won't use whores. Maybe independent escorts. But I might already have a sexy slut lined up to meet. Don't know if I should pay her for "more" the first time I meet but I know my first time won't be with a condom whether it's with a virgin princess or a sexy slut. But I refuse to use a professional for my first time. Maybe an amateur if it really came down to it. That's why I want a girl to get an STD test if she's a slut because I don't want a condom my first time. I am bringing some condoms but I hope I don't have to use them, especially because I seriously hope to get a girl pregnant. I wasn't joking all the times I mentioned I want to get at least one girl pregnant. If I could get 10-20 different girls across the world pregnant in my lifetime, it would be great. Best chance for survival of the genetic line. Like you or someone mentioned, most people will see their genetic line dead in one or two generations with the lack of birthrates, increased homosexuality, more people becoming transgender, and decreasing fertility rates of both biological genders. Plus, any mass shooting, terror attack, accident, health issue could easily kill one or two heirs. I don't have worries about health issues like STDs (easy to avoid, curable ones easy to diagnose, and all can easily be diagnosed at a clinic). I don't even worry about coronavirus anymore. If I get my type of girl, which for a Latina would be a "Quinceañera Princess" then no STD test would be needed because she would be a clean virgin with cherry-popping freshness. Incurable STDs are easy to diagnose. Even in the US, all a person needs to do is ask for a full panel STD test and it is done...but to ask to be screened for 12 parasites and have tests done to show likely subcutaneous and vascular symptoms (and damage) gets the answer no. I am sure people can see the issue with that situation. Plus, with sparganosis, there is really no way to test for it except with ultrasounds or MRI, suspicion, and sparganosis is resistant to almost all or all antiparasitic medication. Surgery is the real primary way to remove Sparganosis.

3. Hemp rhymes with Shemp. Hemp can't get people high like marijuana. But the drug part is just a joke. If I had the chance to do quality cocaine or heroine or opium, or by oxycodone painkillers then I personally probably wouldn't say no. I always wanted to do marijuana but never was in a place to buy the good kind but with my connections, I easily have the ability to acquire quality marijuana seeds (I just didn't have the grow lamps) and I was also able to acquire steroids. I figure people should not be anti-drug if used responsibly. Natural drugs like marijuana, cocaine, and opium are definitely not as likely to cause serious allergic reactions in people like artificial pharmaceuticals.

[Tsar]

Nothing terrible about the poems, but I take it we are using the term "sonnet" rather loosely.

Yes, I am using it a little loosely since I am probably only following one of the three rules, the rhyme scheme.

Rhyme Scheme: abab cdcd efef gg

https://blog.prepscholar.com/what-is-a-sonnet-poem-form

[Cornfed]

Nothing terrible about the poems, but I take it we are using the term "sonnet" rather loosely.

Yes, I am using it a little loosely since I am probably only following one of the three rules, the rhyme scheme.

Rhyme Scheme: abab cdcd efef gg

https://blog.prepscholar.com/what-is-a-sonnet-poem-form

That is, from memory, a Spencerian sonnet. There were other internal organisations and rhyme schemes. They were also supposed to be iambic pentameter I think.

[Spencer]

Nothing terrible about the poems, but I take it we are using the term "sonnet" rather loosely.

Yes, I am using it a little loosely since I am probably only following one of the three rules, the rhyme scheme.

Rhyme Scheme: abab cdcd efef gg

https://blog.prepscholar.com/what-is-a-sonnet-poem-form

That is, from memory, a Spencerian sonnet. There were other internal organisations and rhyme schemes. They were also supposed to be iambic pentameter I think.

Spencer is ababbcbccdcdee so nowonwards beter outsorcery factoid storing inernet for libertate mind powers totalment proces creatives as wiseton sooo aply shows no needy for know solidly state name date place easypeasy for storaging then ramify or usage the big bossman card imperil edict for comand aborders find n post answer sothen 100% genus energetics streming to to creationist brilance unicorn outbox pathbraker esay writs for inspirator lonely mans all over planet and godown the histories as most uniq freethinker asian on planet

[Spencer]

Tsar I herby humily requestment a spencarian on spencer hoy hoy hoy but not joke plese you makeit and not have be sonet just simple simon ryhme giv dime stying and please o please not meanman gasllights be niceguy and funyman but if superduper funys for roflol left right center then ok doky can indemify to givpas not report insultings to bossman jus this once exemp

[yick]

Tsar I herby humily requestment a spencarian on spencer hoy hoy hoy but not joke plese you makeit and not have be sonet just simple simon ryhme giv dime stying and please o please not meanman gasllights be niceguy and funyman but if superduper funys for roflol left right center then ok doky can indemify to givpas not report insultings to bossman jus this once exemp

Spencer
What a wanker
He needs a job
Preferably as a sailor on an oil tanker
Spencer can't spell
Because in his head he isn't all that well
There is no hope for him ever
Because he is a bit of a simpleton and not at all clever
What he should do right now
Is finally take his bow
Go and live an interesting life
Maybe go and find a wife
Not that he is in the hunt
Because he is an utter cunt

[Winston]

Wow those are great Tsar. Did you write them yourself? Are they original?

[Tsar]

Wow those are great Tsar. Did you write them yourself? Are they original?

Yes, I wrote them myself and they're original.

[Tsar]

Tsar I herby humily requestment a spencarian on spencer hoy hoy hoy but not joke plese you makeit and not have be sonet just simple simon ryhme giv dime stying and please o please not meanman gasllights be niceguy and funyman but if superduper funys for roflol left right center then ok doky can indemify to givpas not report insultings to bossman jus this once exemp

Spencer
What a wanker
He needs a job
Preferably as a sailor on an oil tanker
Spencer can't spell
Because in his head he isn't all that well
There is no hope for him ever
Because he is a bit of a simpleton and not at all clever
What he should do right now
Is finally take his bow
Go and live an interesting life
Maybe go and find a wife
Not that he is in the hunt
Because he is an utter cunt

Spencer, the greatest twit
He really is a trollish halfwit
He is like an unwanted mutt
Maybe he takes it up his butt?
He never posts about a female
Is he a shemale or landwhale?
He must not like tight pink beaver
Did he get brain damage from a fever?
He is like a shit you just want to flush
Or an annoying child you want to hush
His goal is to be a hideous circus freak
And climb a garbage dump's highest peak
He doesn't really make us angry or mad
Just the opposite, he is pitiable and sad

[Tsar]

You are a clown, Mercury.

There was a guy who was a clown
He spread exaggerated fake news
He painted on an upsidedown frown
Did he have a bad case of the blues?
American women were his greatest bane
And he was being hunted by the FBI
Because he developed a sexual pain
The government wants him to fry
Imprisoned for hundreds of years
Locked in a steel cage or a padded room
While business improves electric chairs
Avoid getting sodomized by a broom
Or getting a new cellmate called Manny
Who was once a woman by the name Danny

@Mercury

[yick]

You are a clown, Mercury.

There was a guy who was a clown
He spread exaggerated fake news
He painted on an upsidedown frown
Did he have a bad case of the blues?
American women were his greatest bane
And he was being hunted by the FBI
Because he developed a sexual pain
The government wants him to fry
Imprisoned for hundreds of years
Locked in a steel cage or a padded room
While business improves electric chairs
Avoid getting sodomized by a broom
Or getting a new cellmate called Manny
Who was once a woman by the name Danny

@Mercury

Very good!