Why am I intimidated by typical macho guy talk?
Posted: July 10th, 2011, 10:29 pm
How come when a group of typical Western guys get together and do the typical macho guy talk when there are no women around, I can never vibe or flow with it? Is it cause I'm too feminine or something? Are most guys able to flow with that?
To me, it seems barbaric and feels intimidating and invalidating when I get stuck with guys who act and talk like that. I'm talking about the way guys act in the locker room, army, etc. They show it all the time in army movies like "Platoon" and "Full Metal Jacket".
Some of it is just simple horseplay. But the way they act is like they are saying, "being an uncaring asshole is cool and whoever is the bigger asshole is cooler." Do you know what I mean? It feels like being nice, decent or intelligent has no value among such talk.
How come that makes me uncomfortable since that is so typical guy-ish? (or typical Western guy-ish at least) Is there something wrong with me?
Any of you feel the same way?
I don't understand why guys have to act and talk like that, as though it were part of their instinctive nature. How come it's not part of my nature? Is it cause I'm not masculine or not a real guy?
If everyone seems weird around me, does that mean that they are weird or I am weird? I always ask myself that when I feel invalidated in a group.
This is why I generally avoid groups of male friends, and feel more comfortable around female friends, even if they're just friends. I don't usually hang with a guy unless he is rational, intelligent and is stimulating to talk to. Otherwise, what's the point, if you have nothing in common with them and they intimidate you with typical guy macho talk? Know what I mean?
To me, it seems barbaric and feels intimidating and invalidating when I get stuck with guys who act and talk like that. I'm talking about the way guys act in the locker room, army, etc. They show it all the time in army movies like "Platoon" and "Full Metal Jacket".
Some of it is just simple horseplay. But the way they act is like they are saying, "being an uncaring asshole is cool and whoever is the bigger asshole is cooler." Do you know what I mean? It feels like being nice, decent or intelligent has no value among such talk.
How come that makes me uncomfortable since that is so typical guy-ish? (or typical Western guy-ish at least) Is there something wrong with me?
Any of you feel the same way?
I don't understand why guys have to act and talk like that, as though it were part of their instinctive nature. How come it's not part of my nature? Is it cause I'm not masculine or not a real guy?
If everyone seems weird around me, does that mean that they are weird or I am weird? I always ask myself that when I feel invalidated in a group.
This is why I generally avoid groups of male friends, and feel more comfortable around female friends, even if they're just friends. I don't usually hang with a guy unless he is rational, intelligent and is stimulating to talk to. Otherwise, what's the point, if you have nothing in common with them and they intimidate you with typical guy macho talk? Know what I mean?