Why do I have handicaps that others don't have?

[Winston]

Here are some odd things about me that I can't explain.

I have weird handicaps that others don't have. I cannot get on a ski lift, or on one of those cable cars hanging from a black cable high up in the air either. Those are terrifying to me and I cannot tolerate them at all. Period. To me, those things are death. They feel very unsafe and extremely dangerous and are the equivalent of suicide to me. Yet most normal people get on them like a routine with no fear. I don't get that. I also don't like ferris wheels. I simply feel like I'm in great danger whenever I am high up in the air. But I can fly on airlines though.

Also, I can't hop between rocks in a river or cave as easily as others can. The sloping wet rocks look dangerous and slippery. It takes me a long time to make every step because every step feels dangerous so I have to be extra careful with every step. Wet rocks are not safe to step on, of course. That's obvious. But again, everyone else seems to be able to jump across them easily, and much faster than me. Even dumb people can hop through wet slippery rocks at a normal pace and leave me in the dust, making me feel handicapped. Why is that? How can something unnatural and unsafe be so easy for everyone else except me?

Do you have any explanation for that? Is it cause I lack coordination, athleticism, or spatial ability that average people have?

I think I must be impaired athletically, cause even when I was skinny and thin, I was always the last person behind in hiking groups or in PE class when we had to jog several laps as part of our warm up exercise. Only chubby kids were as far behind as me, yet I was skinny and had no endurance in jogging at all, whereas everyone else was ahead of me. Perhaps I lack endurance or drain more easily than others for some reason.

I also notice that some people don't have to concentrate when they drive or get nervous/anxious about other cars near them. Many guys are able to change lanes without even turning their heads to look at their side mirror or the lane next to them. How can they know that they won't hit another car when they change lanes so quickly without even looking? When I drive, I have to turn my head to the side to see that the lane is open before I change lanes. So it takes me extra time to do it. It is even harder to do on a highway where the road is curving. But many guys change lanes without looking. How do they do that safely? I don't think the rear view mirror can tell you if there's a car right next to you or not. Plus I don't trust mirrors either. I only trust my own eyes when I'm changing lanes.

It seems that there are things that average people have no problem with, that I have a huge problem with. Yet I have talents and abilities that few people have. And I am far more accurate than others too.

Did you know I always got a D in biology class cause I could not memorize tons of vocabulary words? I have a good IQ of 120 yet I cannot memorize raw data for tests. Even if I tried, it would just go in one ear and out the other. My mind kept wandering in school. I could not force it to concentrate. Instead, I felt sleepy or my mind turned to sexual fantasies for escape. I only did well in English and History, or humanities type classes. And I did well in math up to Algebra too, since it only required basic logic and accuracy in arithmetic. But I was terrible in Calculus cause it involved memorizing too many boring formulas.

I also lose to average people in the simple card game called Concentration or Memory - you know, that game where you flip over two cards to try to get matching numbers, and whoever gets the most pairs wins, etc. It's a game of raw memory. Chinese/Asian people are especially good at that game, since they have photographic memories of cards for some reason. I don't know why. But any average person can beat me at that game. I have a horrible memory of raw card numbers and data. But in Chess and Scrabble, I can beat over 99 percent of people (in America that is, Europe is another story). Why is that? Have you known anyone else like that before?

It's weird being different from everyone, isn't it?

[Winston]

This isn't just about fear. If I were to jump on rocks quickly that are wet and slippery, I will definitely slip, fall and hurt myself a lot! That's a fact. Wet rocks are dangerous to jump on, especially when the rocks are slanted or sloped!

So my question is: How are others able to do that quickly and not fall or slip? It makes no sense. Is the universe conspiring against me?

Also, it is NOT safe to change lanes on the freeway without checking that the lane next to you is clear. That is a common sense fact. So how are there so many speed demon drivers, such as the kind that drive fast and change lanes many times to pass up cars in front of them, able to change lanes without even looking at the side mirrors or turning their head, as though it were a normal safe routine for them? That is a serious question that defies logic. It just doesn't make sense.

Can someone explain?

Do any of you have similar handicaps?

[Winston]

I asked the same questions about my uncommon handicaps on the David Icke forum. Someone there said this:

http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.p ... 510&page=2

"You have described a lot of the classic signs of someone who has SPD (sensory processing disorder), a lot of the spatial stuff is down to an imbalance in the vestibular sense and there are concentration issues there too, the fact that you have very good reasoning/logic skills is also consistent with this too.

A good book to start reading which gives case studies of kids (very much like you describe yourself) is : The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz

There are loads of exercises that can be done to correct it and get the vestibular/proprioceptive senses back in balance but as a starting point I would read up on "sensory processing disorder" "sensory integration dysfunction" and you will learn which exercises can help.

(I know about this a lot as my child has it).

Just out of interest, were you born via ceasarian? or have you suffered a severe infection/trauma and noticed the changes after this?

These can be causes."

What is that? Is there really such a disorder? And why would such a disorder make someone better at logic than others?

[Repatriate]

This isn't just about fear. If I were to jump on rocks quickly that are wet and slippery, I will definitely slip, fall and hurt myself a lot! That's a fact. Wet rocks are dangerous to jump on, especially when the rocks are slanted or sloped!

So my question is: How are others able to do that quickly and not fall or slip? It makes no sense. Is the universe conspiring against me?

Because most people have some attraction to some types of risk. Some enjoy lots of risk and get an adrenaline rush from it, some enjoy a tiny bit just to liven up the day. I'd say you fall in the opposite extreme and don't enjoy actions which involve what you perceive to be as physical risk. Perhaps you are a bit neurotic too. It sounds like you're acrophobic and lack coordination.

I guess the other side of it is that you have a overestimated belief in your own prowess at fighting and yet you even admit you're dreadfully out of shape.

I'm guessing you've never really truly tested yourself physically before. I doubt you'd be able to handle something like scuba diving, rock climbing, or sky diving then since that would push your neurosis over the edge.

[Winston]

This isn't just about fear. If I were to jump on rocks quickly that are wet and slippery, I will definitely slip, fall and hurt myself a lot! That's a fact. Wet rocks are dangerous to jump on, especially when the rocks are slanted or sloped!

So my question is: How are others able to do that quickly and not fall or slip? It makes no sense. Is the universe conspiring against me?

Because most people have some attraction to some types of risk. Some enjoy lots of risk and get an adrenaline rush from it, some enjoy a tiny bit just to liven up the day. I'd say you fall in the opposite extreme and don't enjoy actions which involve what you perceive to be as physical risk. Perhaps you are a bit neurotic too. It sounds like you're acrophobic and lack coordination.

I guess the other side of it is that you have a overestimated belief in your own prowess at fighting and yet you even admit you're dreadfully out of shape.

I'm guessing you've never really truly tested yourself physically before. I doubt you'd be able to handle something like scuba diving, rock climbing, or sky diving then since that would push your neurosis over the edge.

How is being safe and avoiding danger, being neurotic? And what is "acrophobic"?

Well I am much more aggressive when it comes to fights and conflicts with opponents, than with unnecessary risk and danger.

How is scuba diving hard? Why is it on par with rock climbing, which is far more dangerous? Do you remember the movie "Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stallone?

[Repatriate]

How is being safe and avoiding danger, being neurotic? And what is "acrophobic"?

neurotic (njʊˈrɒtɪk)

1. of, relating to, or afflicted by neurosis
—n
2. a person who is afflicted with a neurosis or who tends to be emotionally unstable or unusually anxious
neu'rotically


Acrophobia is a fear of heights. You definitely seem to have a fear of heights and that's possibly related to your other issues regarding balance and coordination.

You can be neurotic about certain situations. In your case skipping on stones or hanging from a ski lift triggers this sort of extreme anxiety.

Well I am much more aggressive when it comes to fights and conflicts with opponents, than with unnecessary risk and danger.

Ironically, you probably face much more physical danger from getting into confrontations with someone than a ski lift or crossing stones across a wet stream.

How is scuba diving hard? Why is it on par with rock climbing, which is far more dangerous? Do you remember the movie "Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stallone?

I listed those 3 activities because they involve perception of being in precarious situations. Actually scuba diving is really safe but some people try it once and refuse to ever do it again because it triggers claustrophobic reactions and fear of drowning. You seem to have an aversion to physical discomfort or situations which you perceive to be visibly precarious.

You aren't threatened by confrontations with people because you can't _see_ the actual threat or have an overestimation of your own ability to handle that situation if it went awry.

[polya]

"You have described a lot of the classic signs of someone who has SPD (sensory processing disorder), a lot of the spatial stuff is down to an imbalance in the vestibular sense and there are concentration issues there too, the fact that you have very good reasoning/logic skills is also consistent with this too.

These can be causes."

This is not a disorder as defined in the DSM4 or ICD10. Its just a pop-psychology nonsense. I don't think you have it, because it doesn't exist.

[Winston]

"You have described a lot of the classic signs of someone who has SPD (sensory processing disorder), a lot of the spatial stuff is down to an imbalance in the vestibular sense and there are concentration issues there too, the fact that you have very good reasoning/logic skills is also consistent with this too.

These can be causes."

This is not a disorder as defined in the DSM4 or ICD10. Its just a pop-psychology nonsense. I don't think you have it, because it doesn't exist.

What do you mean? Just because it's not in DSM-IV doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Come on now. There is so much we don't know that is waiting to be discovered. Did germs exist before they were discovered? Yes of course. So why do you assume that if it's not discoverer or official, then it doesn't exist? Hasn't history and science proven that sort of thinking to be wrong many times over?

Here's what my friend who is a former mental health counselor had to say about this:

"Hey Winston,

I admit I'm a little out of my bailiwick here, as I am by no means an expert on childhood disorders/early childhood development issues such as Asperger's, Autism or SPD. Far as I know about SPD, there is a strong lobby to include it in the new DSM-V--the diagnostic guidebook for mental health issues--and it looks like it will be included. I should also note there is some controversy about this and a few other childhood disorders---some would argue, for example, that they have been "created" to explain away problem behaviors in children and are for PC purposes more than diagnostic ones. I have too little knowledge to actually state an opinion. Over the past 20-30 years, many early-childhood disorders/syndromes have been identified, "created" to explain behaviors previously not given much thought about or lumped in other categories.

I suggest you read some of these books the poster suggests and do online research about this "disorder." You may have found an explanation for some of the unusual problems that you have had. Sometimes an identification and understanding can help a great deal. We are dealing in a field here where much cutting edge research is being done and along with that research is a lot of speculative stuff, too. I suggest you take some time to ferret out the research from the more speculative things and if you have the resources, you might want to have a neurological consultation done--these do not come cheap, however.

I am not sure what your good reasoning skills and very logical mind have to do with this disorder. You might want to ask the question to the poster on the Icke forum. I think you should check this out, as it might provide answers for you to questions that have been plaguing you for years.

Hope your evening is going well there in Taiwan. I'm going to write you back now about Chinese women and offer a few thoughts, a subject I may have a slightly better grasp."

[Winston]

How is being safe and avoiding danger, being neurotic? And what is "acrophobic"?

neurotic (njʊˈrɒtɪk)

1. of, relating to, or afflicted by neurosis
—n
2. a person who is afflicted with a neurosis or who tends to be emotionally unstable or unusually anxious
neu'rotically


Acrophobia is a fear of heights. You definitely seem to have a fear of heights and that's possibly related to your other issues regarding balance and coordination.

You can be neurotic about certain situations. In your case skipping on stones or hanging from a ski lift triggers this sort of extreme anxiety.

Well I am much more aggressive when it comes to fights and conflicts with opponents, than with unnecessary risk and danger.

Ironically, you probably face much more physical danger from getting into confrontations with someone than a ski lift or crossing stones across a wet stream.

How is scuba diving hard? Why is it on par with rock climbing, which is far more dangerous? Do you remember the movie "Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stallone?

I listed those 3 activities because they involve perception of being in precarious situations. Actually scuba diving is really safe but some people try it once and refuse to ever do it again because it triggers claustrophobic reactions and fear of drowning. You seem to have an aversion to physical discomfort or situations which you perceive to be visibly precarious.

You aren't threatened by confrontations with people because you can't _see_ the actual threat or have an overestimation of your own ability to handle that situation if it went awry.

Well I have training in three martial arts and am not below average in fighting. Plus when I give people that "I'm going to kill you look" with adrenaline pumping, it scares a lot of people off. My strength increases a lot when I'm in a rage or very angry. The adrenaline gives me extra strength.

Why would scuba diving make one claustrophobic? I am a good swimmer and it looks easy on TV, doesn't it?

I think I do have acrophobia and sensory processing disorder, according to the symptoms on these sites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acrophobia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_pr ... g_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_defensiveness
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

[NorthAmericanguy]

Here are some odd things about me that I can't explain.

I have weird handicaps that others don't have. I cannot get on a ski lift, or on one of those cable cars hanging from a black cable high up in the air either. Those are terrifying to me and I cannot tolerate them at all. Period. To me, those things are death. They feel very unsafe and extremely dangerous and are the equivalent of suicide to me. Yet most normal people get on them like a routine with no fear. I don't get that.

Also, I can't hop between rocks in a river or cave as easily as others can. The sloping wet rocks look dangerous and slippery. It takes me a long time to make every step because every step feels dangerous so I have to be extra careful with every step. Wet rocks are not safe to step on, of course. That's obvious. But again, everyone else seems to be able to jump across them easily, and much faster than me. Even dumb people can hop through wet slippery rocks at a normal pace and leave me in the dust, making me feel handicapped. Why is that? How can something unnatural and unsafe be so easy for everyone else except me?

Do you have any explanation for that? Is it cause I lack coordination, athleticism, or spatial ability that average people have?

I think I must be impaired athletically, cause even when I was skinny and thin, I was always the last person behind in hiking groups or in PE class when we had to jog several laps as part of our warm up exercise. Only chubby kids were as far behind as me, yet I was skinny and had no endurance in jogging at all, whereas everyone else was ahead of me. Perhaps I lack endurance or drain more easily than others for some reason.

I also notice that some people don't have to concentrate when they drive or get nervous/anxious about other cars near them. Many guys are able to change lanes without even turning their heads to look at their side mirror or the lane next to them. How can they know that they won't hit another car when they change lanes so quickly without even looking? When I drive, I have to turn my head to the side to see that the lane is open before I change lanes. So it takes me extra time to do it. It is even harder to do on a highway where the road is curving. But many guys change lanes without looking. How do they do that safely? I don't think the rear view mirror can tell you if there's a car right next to you or not. Plus I don't trust mirrors either. I only trust my own eyes when I'm changing lanes.

2 reasons:

Yes, it's called spatial awareness which is either from birth already highly developed in some people (and these people gravitate towards sports such as gymnastics), and for others they probably played a sport, or just played outside like kids USE TO DO to develop their spatial awareness. It's great that you studied martial arts, but martial arts is different then football or a simple game of tag where you are constantly changing directions, jumping in odd ways, and constantly scanning for things as you move around so you so you don't bump into things.

The second factor is body dimensions, limb strength, and fat to muscle ratio. In other words, a strong, long legged, lean muscular individual will most likely be a better jumper/hopper then a short, weak overweight individual.






As far as cars, if you want to be a better driver, get a job as a taxi/tow truck driver for a year, I guarantee you will be a better driver when you quit as a result.

[NorthAmericanguy]

This isn't just about fear. If I were to jump on rocks quickly that are wet and slippery, I will definitely slip, fall and hurt myself a lot! That's a fact. Wet rocks are dangerous to jump on, especially when the rocks are slanted or sloped!

So my question is: How are others able to do that quickly and not fall or slip? It makes no sense. Is the universe conspiring against me?

There IS a technique to it, and I take it you don't know as you grew up in SOCAL unlike myself where I grew up in the East Coast next to the woods where there is plenty of streams and rivers to play in.

Basically whenever you want to jump on a wet rock that is often covered with a slippery moss, you want to land on the rock very LIGHT and have your arms and upper body ready to make final adjustments of balance. You also want to use your knees/legs to absorb the landing much more then if you were just jumping on dry land ( ie. landing light).

If you jump on a wet rock and your very stiff, you're going to slip and fall off.....lol


Btw, this is a good Sneaker for wet rock jumping... It's a shoe from the 1990s called Nike Air Moabb

[Winston]

This isn't just about fear. If I were to jump on rocks quickly that are wet and slippery, I will definitely slip, fall and hurt myself a lot! That's a fact. Wet rocks are dangerous to jump on, especially when the rocks are slanted or sloped!

So my question is: How are others able to do that quickly and not fall or slip? It makes no sense. Is the universe conspiring against me?

There IS a technique to it, and I take it you don't know as you grew up in SOCAL unlike myself where I grew up in the East Coast next to the woods where there is plenty of streams and rivers to play in.

Basically whenever you want to jump on a wet rock that is often covered with a slippery moss, you want to land on the rock very LIGHT and have your arms and upper body ready to make final adjustments of balance. You also want to use your knees/legs to absorb the landing much more then if you were just jumping on dry land ( ie. landing light).

If you jump on a wet rock and your very stiff, you're going to slip and fall off.....lol


Btw, this is a good Sneaker for wet rock jumping... It's a shoe from the 1990s called Nike Air Moabb

I think hiking boots are the best for jumping on slippery wet rocks. They have something in their soles, such as strong ridges, that makes each step more stable. When I wear them, I don't slip as much, and my steps are taken with more confidence.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Yea, hiking boots would work... I never used them though because I like my feet in light weight shoes just in case I need to sprint/run.