Freedom, Travel, Dating vs. Marriage, Family, Settling Down

[Winston]

I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.

In the latter, your freedom is totally gone and you are tied down into commitment, obligation and responsibility, which people call "life". Why would anyone choose such a predicament, let alone be fulfilled by it? Such a lifestyle embodies nothing but routine, servitude, burden and imprisonment. The former is obviously a thousand times more fun, exciting, interesting and pleasurable than the latter. So why would anyone choose the latter? I don't understand. It's mind boggling.

Could it be because Mother Nature has programmed people to want to raise a family, to ensure the survival of the human race? Is that the only reason? Or because society told people that raising a family was the purpose of life, and so people followed it?

Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

You know, it's funny how people always want to HEAR that they have freedom (or political freedom rather) but when they follow what society taught them - by getting a job and raising a family, they reduce their freedom to ZERO and don't even think about it! It's like people want to hear that they have freedom but don't want actual freedom itself. How weird and ironic.

[Truthville]

Freedom, Travel, Women vs. Marriage, Family, Responsibility
I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.

In the latter, your freedom is totally gone and you are tied down into commitment and responsibility. Why would anyone choose such a predicament, let alone be fulfilled by it? Such a lifestyle embodies nothing but routine and imprisonment. The former is obviously a thousand times more fun, exciting, interesting and pleasurable than the latter. So why would anyone choose the latter? I don't understand. It's mind boggling.

Could it be because Mother Nature has programmed people to want to raise a family, to ensure the survival of the human race? Is that the only reason? Or because society told people that raising a family was the purpose of life, and so people followed it?

Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

Ahh Winston,

Sometimes I just shake my head at what you post. I'm all for freedom, since I value that myself BUT IMHO, then a person should be careful NOT to have babies and start families. Rational people think these things through Winston, so yes, you are crazy since you value "freedom" so much, and yet created a condition in which you compromised your own freedom.

I actually have created a life where I have, for the most part, complete control over what I can do, whom I can do with, and so on. I realized this about myself at a young age, that is, my need for freedom and space. You obviously didn't. It seems to me that when you were single, you wanted to be in a relationship, now that you are in a relationship with a child, you want to be single. I really don't think people like you are ever satisfied or ever will be. You seem to be a glutton for sabotaging yourself.

As far as the "boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family?" I actually think your lifestyle would be more boring and monotonous to me personally. Go to club, make "small" talk with hooker, convince yourself she really "likes" you, bar-fine hooker, take hooker to short time hotel, have sex with aforementioned hooker, pay hooker, leave and go home. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum.........

What you don't seem to understand Winston is that most people want and crave a "connection" to another human being that transcends the physical. Sex is just one aspect of that connection. I know you haven't the slightest clue what I'm talking about. Some people are also, crazy I know, want to be part of a community or part of something larger than themselves. I know you also haven't a clue what this feels like.

I find it odd that you categorize marriage and responsibility as a "prison" when you haven't experienced either condition. You are not married and you really don't take any responsibility for, honestly, anyone but yourself. So how would you know?

Different people are fulfilled in different ways and by different things. For instance, I like to read quite a bit. Perhaps you would say that's it's a waste of time UNLESS it leads to having sex with "hot" girls. BUT I enjoy it. I also would enjoy raising a family with the "right" woman, watching my children grow into adults, guiding them and educating them. Useless in your opinion, I know.

I'm not "attacking" you or putting you down, just trying to make you see that way YOU are is not the way everybody else is, just as everybody isn't like me.

Society, these days, doesn't "force" or "condition" people to take care of their responsibilities anymore. Men/Woman can abandon their families and responsibilities without any censure from society. "It's all about me!" is the order of the day. Therefore I think, Winston, that more people are like you then you know. And that is why, IMHO, the society we used to know is not only changing, BUT is dying. Soon, I believe!

Peace!

[well-informed]

So men that want to have families and children is a bad thing. You have the nerve to call those men "normal people". Who made you a god, you dumbfuck

It's narcissistic, egotistical, brainless, reptilian sex craved faggots like you that's makes the world what it is today. You justify yourself by calling yourself a good person, please you won't even devote one second of community service because your too busy thinking your time is valuable. Your time means nothing, you're not fooling anyone here Winston

If you came from a decent Taiwanese family like your mother and father, just imagine your worthless bastard child growing up as an adult lool

[Winston]

Ahh Winston,

Sometimes I just shake my head at what you post. I'm all for freedom, since I value that myself BUT IMHO, then a person should be careful NOT to have babies and start families. Rational people think these things through Winston, so yes, you are crazy since you value "freedom" so much, and yet created a condition in which you compromised your own freedom.

I actually have created a life where I have, for the most part, complete control over what I can do, whom I can do with, and so on. I realized this about myself at a young age, that is, my need for freedom and space. You obviously didn't. It seems to me that when you were single, you wanted to be in a relationship, now that you are in a relationship with a child, you want to be single. I really don't think people like you are ever satisfied or ever will be. You seem to be a glutton for sabotaging yourself.

As far as the "boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family?" I actually think your lifestyle would be more boring and monotonous to me personally. Go to club, make "small" talk with hooker, convince yourself she really "likes" you, bar-fine hooker, take hooker to short time hotel, have sex with aforementioned hooker, pay hooker, leave and go home. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum.........

What you don't seem to understand Winston is that most people want and crave a "connection" to another human being that transcends the physical. Sex is just one aspect of that connection. I know you haven't the slightest clue what I'm talking about. Some people are also, crazy I know, want to be part of a community or part of something larger than themselves. I know you also haven't a clue what this feels like.

I find it odd that you categorize marriage and responsibility as a "prison" when you haven't experienced either condition. You are not married and you really don't take any responsibility for, honestly, anyone but yourself. So how would you know?

Different people are fulfilled in different ways and by different things. For instance, I like to read quite a bit. Perhaps you would say that's it's a waste of time UNLESS it leads to having sex with "hot" girls. BUT I enjoy it. I also would enjoy raising a family with the "right" woman, watching my children grow into adults, guiding them and educating them. Useless in your opinion, I know.

I'm not "attacking" you or putting you down, just trying to make you see that way YOU are is not the way everybody else is, just as everybody isn't like me.

Society, these days, doesn't "force" or "condition" people to take care of their responsibilities anymore. Men/Woman can abandon their families and responsibilities without any censure from society. "It's all about me!" is the order of the day. Therefore I think, Winston, that more people are like you then you know. And that is why, IMHO, the society we used to know is not only changing, BUT is dying. Soon, I believe!

Peace!

Truthville,
Thanks for telling me that I'm not crazy. But I don't think you understand me as well as you think you do. You've sized me up all wrong.

First of all, the relations I've had with bar girls were not always purely physical. I usually spend a few hours romancing them first with lots of creative sweet talk, which they tell me is very Filipino style, since other westerners don't do that. I too need to feel an intimate romantic connection first. It makes the sex a lot better and gives me a better high.

I'm a much more romantic person than you can imagine and you aren't me so you don't feel the connection that I do. I actually do have genuine romantic feelings for more than one woman. Even if you don't think that's possible, still, I DO have them. They are a reality for me.

I'm actually the only guy I know (and probably you know) who watches old fashioned romantic movies and classics. No other guy or girl I know is into that, except me. So I know A LOT more about "connection to a woman" than you can possibly imagine. I'm really serious about this.

I'm still into "The Thorn Birds" and "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and sappy romantic masterpieces like that. What other guy is? NONE! I don't even know any women who still watch such masterpieces!

Also, I do know what marriage is like. I've had two long term relationships where I lived with someone, and so I know what it's like to have a routine and argue like an old married couple and have the sex die out long before. At that point, you fantasize about other women. Lots of guys have experienced that. So why do you think I don't know what it's like? You aren't making sense.

Most of my life has been a routine. And so has the lives of many others here. How can you say that I don't know what a monotonous routine is like when I've lived it most of my life??? You aren't making sense.

Why do you think that I think that reading is a waste of time unless it's about women or sex? Geez. You should see all the spiritual books on my bookshelf. You should see my order list on Amazon.com. I've bought a lot of books from used bookstores too.

You got me sized up all wrong dude.

[Winston]

It's funny how people always want to HEAR that they have freedom (or political freedom rather) but when they follow what society taught them - by getting a job and raising a family, they reduce their freedom to ZERO and don't even think about it! It's like people want to hear that they have freedom but don't want actual freedom itself. How weird and ironic.

[Jeygonza]

Ahh Winston,

Sometimes I just shake my head at what you post. I'm all for freedom, since I value that myself BUT IMHO, then a person should be careful NOT to have babies and start families. Rational people think these things through Winston, so yes, you are crazy since you value "freedom" so much, and yet created a condition in which you compromised your own freedom.


I find it odd that you categorize marriage and responsibility as a "prison" when you haven't experienced either condition. You are not married and you really don't take any responsibility for, honestly, anyone but yourself. So how would you know?

Different people are fulfilled in different ways and by different things. For instance, I like to read quite a bit. Perhaps you would say that's it's a waste of time UNLESS it leads to having sex with "hot" girls. BUT I enjoy it. I also would enjoy raising a family with the "right" woman, watching my children grow into adults, guiding them and educating them. Useless in your opinion, I know.

I'm not "attacking" you or putting you down, just trying to make you see that way YOU are is not the way everybody else is, just as everybody isn't like me.

Society, these days, doesn't "force" or "condition" people to take care of their responsibilities anymore. Men/Woman can abandon their families and responsibilities without any censure from society. "It's all about me!" is the order of the day. Therefore I think, Winston, that more people are like you then you know. And that is why, IMHO, the society we used to know is not only changing, BUT is dying. Soon, I believe!

Peace!

I love your point of view... Winston said you've not understood but you answered what he posted. Freedom is not go to bars and have sex is much more.

[Jeygonza]

I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.

In the latter, your freedom is totally gone and you are tied down into commitment, obligation and responsibility, which people call "life". Why would anyone choose such a predicament, let alone be fulfilled by it? Such a lifestyle embodies nothing but routine, burden and imprisonment. The former is obviously a thousand times more fun, exciting, interesting and pleasurable than the latter. So why would anyone choose the latter? I don't understand. It's mind boggling.

Could it be because Mother Nature has programmed people to want to raise a family, to ensure the survival of the human race? Is that the only reason? Or because society told people that raising a family was the purpose of life, and so people followed it?

Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

It's funny how people always want to HEAR that they have freedom (or political freedom rather) but when they follow what society taught them - by getting a job and raising a family, they reduce their freedom to ZERO and don't even think about it! It's like people want to hear that they have freedom but don't want actual freedom itself. How weird and ironic.

First if your relationships are not physical, then what they really are? Spending a few hours? Do you think its enough? Just work in a bar relation, you say bla bla bla she think my god I have to hear the whole conversation? why not shut up and start the action, but after ... is just that, "I've seen but I do not remember" that my friend is a connection

[NorthAmericanguy]

I don't understand something. Why would anyone want to give up a life of freedom, traveling, and dating different hot women, for the boring monotonous routine life of marriage, responsibility and raising a family? It just doesn't make any sense.

In the latter, your freedom is totally gone and you are tied down into commitment, obligation and responsibility, which people call "life". Why would anyone choose such a predicament, let alone be fulfilled by it? Such a lifestyle embodies nothing but routine, burden and imprisonment. The former is obviously a thousand times more fun, exciting, interesting and pleasurable than the latter. So why would anyone choose the latter? I don't understand. It's mind boggling.

Could it be because Mother Nature has programmed people to want to raise a family, to ensure the survival of the human race? Is that the only reason? Or because society told people that raising a family was the purpose of life, and so people followed it?

Can anyone explain? I just don't understand "normal people". They've never made sense to me. Am I liberated or crazy? What do you think?

It's funny how people always want to HEAR that they have freedom (or political freedom rather) but when they follow what society taught them - by getting a job and raising a family, they reduce their freedom to ZERO and don't even think about it! It's like people want to hear that they have freedom but don't want actual freedom itself. How weird and ironic.

I happen to agree with you. Basically your post is just a mirror of what Tom Leykis talks about so what you're saying is credible despite your critics.

I must admit, at one point I wanted to build my own house, find a woman, and get married but the simple fact is that I did not know any better (no men in my life) and I was not aware that there were ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS that were better suited for my personalty and individual needs (i.e, desire for variety, high sex drive).

As far as marriage, guys who are childfree and single who still vehemently disagree with the player life I'm afraid don't really see the whole picture. Marriage (just like any other relationship) is only going to be the best it will ever be for the first few years. So sure, for a few years, or even as long as a decade you have access to a hot good looking woman; but what are you going to do when you're stuck married and paying top dollar for, say, a 55 year old (and possibly fat) woman who may not even want to have sex anymore? At that point I doubt a "meaningful connection" will be relevant.


Anyhow, all I know is that I have ONE life to live and that my health and the afterlife is not guaranteed so F**** it! I'm going ALL OUT living my life up all while slamming b***es and having fun!

[Contrarian Expatriate]

.

[C.J.]

Freedom... ahaha.

Total freedom... the ability to do what you want, have what you want and go back on any agreement without karmic repercussions. A truly free agent. No one in history will ever get this perk, so I assume what ANYONE is talking about here is the choice of how to spend your sexual energies. You know, since no one really talked about doing anything beyond having sex. *shrugs*

"Freedom, Travel, Women vs. Marriage, Family, Responsibility"
I read that as:
"Stupidity, exercise, sex vs. slavery of own free will, sex, forced slavery"

Few humans ever get past their wanton sexual desires. Humans are sexual in nature after all.

Winston, as far as I'm concerned, if you're having a great time and are truly happy, freedom should be of no concern. Because you don't have it. You just have choices. In this world, what people conceive as freedom is really just various degrees of slavery when you think about it. Slavery to your groin. Slavery to your surroundings. Slavery to your stupidity. Slavery to your heart...

[NorthAmericanguy]

I happen to agree with you. Basically your post is just a mirror of what Tom Leykis talks about so what you're saying is credible despite your critics.

I must admit, at one point I wanted to build my own house, find a woman, and get married but the simple fact is that I did not know any better (no men in my life) and I was not aware that there were ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS that were better suited for my personalty and individual needs (i.e, desire for variety, high sex drive).

As far as marriage, guys who are childfree and single who still vehemently disagree with the player life I'm afraid don't really see the whole picture. Marriage (just like any other relationship) is only going to be the best it will ever be for the first few years. So sure, for a few years, or even as long as a decade you have access to a hot good looking woman; but what are you going to do when you're stuck married and paying top dollar for, say, a 55 year old (and possibly fat) woman who may not even want to have sex anymore? At that point I doubt a "meaningful connection" will be relevant.


Anyhow, all I know is that I have ONE life to live and that my health and the afterlife is not guaranteed so F**** it! I'm going ALL OUT living my life up all while slamming b***es and having fun!

You and I are on the same page as Winston. I too notice that men respond to their social programming by believing it is a good thing to be married with children. I personnally don't care if a man is married, with a kid or 10, or living in the state of false marital bliss. If he wants to waste his life away in servitude to a woman just to garner some applause from his family and female friends, so be it.

Married men often think they are in heaven, but they're living in hell. I have nothing against religion, but religious people too often think they are in heaven but are living in hell.

Beware the people who turn up their nose at their choices for they often do so out of disgust for their own circumstances.

Exactly, that's all marriage is for men: SERVITUDE That's the whole reason men get down on their knees to BEG a woman to marry them.

[Winston]

First if your relationships are not physical, then what they really are? Spending a few hours? Do you think its enough? Just work in a bar relation, you say bla bla bla she think my god I have to hear the whole conversation? why not shut up and start the action, but after ... is just that, "I've seen but I do not remember" that my friend is a connection

I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're talking about. Who are you? Have you introduced yourself in the introduction board?

[gits]

I think about this problem every day. I don't think I'll ever get married.

[Rock]

First if your relationships are not physical, then what they really are? Spending a few hours? Do you think its enough? Just work in a bar relation, you say bla bla bla she think my god I have to hear the whole conversation? why not shut up and start the action, but after ... is just that, "I've seen but I do not remember" that my friend is a connection

I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're talking about. Who are you? Have you introduced yourself in the introduction board?

She's a cool DR girl. I invited her to join. She actually speaks very good English (better than she writes), is well read, knowledgeable about American culture, and is pretty bright and switched-on. She is an interesting conversationalist and has an open mind. But one thing I know she does not agree with you on is your attitude about children. She's very big into taking full responsibility. I think she is a very nice and good person too.

Jeygonza (why did you you change your user-name from Jeinmy_Paul?): Perhaps you can add some Spanish to some of your posts, especially when you wanna talk about something deeper. There are certain guys on the forum who could easily translate your meaning in a follow-up post. Just an idea.

[Rock]

I think about this problem every day. I don't think I'll ever get married.

Hey gits. Long time not seeing you on the forum. I'll be back in Taiwan soon (in Cebu now) so lets grab a beer one of these days. I thought you were looking for a combo wife + biz partner. Have you backed-off from that idea? As you know, its quite challenging to get Taiwan girls to stay with you LT if marriage is not the eventual end-game. Have you found an exception?