Happier Abroad Forum Community

What is the greatest good?

I've been on both sides of the coin as many of the members of this forum were.

I've been (and am currently) very alone and wishing I had the companionship of a female.

I've also been in a relationship and just wished I had my freedom.

I joke with my brother sometimes about how I'll take just about anything (in terms of women) at this point in my life. I obviously am not fully serious when I say but there is a fragment of truth in it. I think about how in high school there were quite a few girls available to me - I went to a private school and we were all a bit sheltered from the world. The girls from my youth have ALL entered their "golden" era, when they have a world of men interested in them and available to them. Finding a relationship here in America now seems like more of a burden than anything else. I think about how if I do "go out" alcohol is usually going to be involved, rejection with be inevitable, and I'll have to feel like shit the next day no matter what happens. Meeting people "casually" nowadays just does not happen. As another member of this forum pointed out - in America relationships between men and women have been completely sterilized; we have to pretend our base attractions to each other just don't exist.

But what is the greatest good? Is the greatest good to be in love and start a family? Or...Is the greatest good to create, build, and explore the world? I just don't know anymore. I know that men will never be satisfied. We are like the rises and dips in the stock market; motivated completely by fear and greed. When we have something, we want more; when have nothing, we'll be content with anything.

I've made this point before but I'm still torn between what to do after I get my Bachelor's degree. On one hand I can take the plunge and go overseas and do everything this forum recommends. On the other hand I can pursue a commission in the military, possibly get a chance to fly, and see the world.

Even though I've been alone for quite some time, I'm aware of my own nature. I know that once a woman does come along, I may be gripped with discontentment once again.

I suppose the least common denominator is happiness regardless of the path chosen. Is it possible?

if you think your highest good may be marriage in the west...do yourself a favor and interview 100 divorced men and ask them how marriage contributed to their "greatest good" ... theyll probly break down crying or kick you in the balls.

and with 50% chance of divorce (mostly initiated by woman) you more than likely gonna live a life of hell if you ever say i do

stay single, get some steady long term girlfriends (not cohabitating) and dont throw your life away to some woman who thinks she is entitled to your lifes work, assets & soul.

why not just get married in another country. Best of both worlds.

why sign some binding contract with a partner who can take all your shit whenever she wants even thru no fault of your own.

when you marry, you also marry the govt & its jackboots, the courts and police who are programmed to protect even the most toxic woman from even the most honorable men.

f**k marriage.

You're too young to even be thinking about marriage! The greater good is to be good to yourself first for awhile. I know that sounds selfish but take from me, a person with lots of experience, that you should go out and explore the world first. Given the state of economies around the world, you need to be an economic and social nomad. If you want to invest in something, invest in yourself and learn Mandarin and/or Spanish. In order to truly experience life, you have to go out and live it. Living and working inside the U.S. is not the place to be in today's global economy.

One major advantage that men have is that we can have children at a much later age than women. So there's no need to rush into having children or getting married. Don't even think about it until you've reached at least 40. Once you get older and have experienced all that you want (basically you've sown your wild oats and hopefully you haven't produced any seedlings) and you're tired of the player scene, that's when I would consider settling down. At a certain age, you need to start thinking of finding someone younger who is physically able to take care of you as you grow older. And at that point, having children may become more important to you because you're thinking about your legacy and how your name and genes will continue to live on after you pass away.

But for many men, that's not important and they never stop exploring and never settle down. Absolutely nothing wrong with that! You have to live the life that you want. But if you want the best of both worlds, then I think if I had a chance to live my life all over again, I would choose the life journey that I described.

Your future hasn't been written yet, so make it a good one!

Smallcheese - Great advice! Duly noted.

You're welcome!

To elaborate more on what I would do, if given the chance. In terms of exploring, I'd make a list of countries whose women and culture would interest me the most and rank them in some type of order. Then I would try to go there and actually live a couple of years there in each country. The only way to truly experience life in a country is to work and live there like a local. Once your 2 year life experience is up, move on to the next country on your list. Of course, some places you might know sooner than 2 years that this isn't the place for you so I would just pick up and leave at that point.

After 20+ years sampling life and women in different countries around the world, I'd go back to the top two or three that fit my personality, lifestyle and budget the best. At that point, I would then try to find someone to settle down with and marry, as long as I felt that it was the right time.

This means you need to find an occupation that is nomadic in nature and can work anywhere in the world. For me, computers and IT was the right choice because it gave me the freedom to explore and not be tied down in any single company if I didn't want to be tied down. But in today's world, the right occupation is probably something else.

Good luck and best wishes in whatever you decide to do after you graduate!

I like this thought experiment to find out in which direction I should go. What would you do when you would have 100 million Dollar?

Not so easy to answer. Because first you have to know which kind of person you are.