Why do some people seem to be always happy? What's their secret?

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Winston
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Why do some people seem to be always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

Have u noticed that there are people who always seem happy and positive? Especially women who travel a lot and act positive all the time?

Are those people faking it? If so how can u fake something everyday? It would wear me out if i tried to fake something everyday. Or are those people luckier than others and have more money and success and friendships?

Or like momopi said, its mostly about brain chemistry? Some people are more hardwired to be happy and others hardwired to be unhappy? Is it due to serotonin and dopamine?

Either way, doesnt the fact that some people always seem happy and upbeat disprove the buddhist teaching that life is suffering and that all humans are suffering much of the time? Or have i misunderstood buddhism?

What do u think?
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

Here's what my friend alex had to say about it.

[4/15, 8:16 PM] Alex From Venice: There's an old say that goes back to the time of the Romans thousands year ago
[4/15, 8:16 PM] Alex From Venice: Risus abbundat in ore stultorum
[4/15, 8:16 PM] Alex From Venice: that's Latin language bro
[4/15, 8:30 PM] Winston Wu: U mean when in rome do as the romans do?
[4/15, 8:30 PM] Winston Wu: I dont know how to act fake and pretentious though
[4/15, 8:37 PM] Alex From Venice: the stupid are easy to laugh
[4/15, 8:38 PM] Alex From Venice: there's a connection between being able to conceive deep thoughts and make accurate observations and inquiry the reality trying to find reasons and purpose
[4/15, 8:39 PM] Winston Wu: You mean people who are always happier are lower IQ?
[4/15, 8:39 PM] Alex From Venice: and being less happy
[4/15, 8:39 PM] Alex From Venice: ignorance help to be happy
[4/15, 8:39 PM] Winston Wu: Isnt it because their brains have more dopamine or serotonin?
[4/15, 8:39 PM] Winston Wu: Neurologists say thats a major reason.
[4/15, 8:40 PM] Alex From Venice: that's why old people tends to be less happy than themselves when young
[4/15, 8:40 PM] Winston Wu: Im sure dogs are happy too.
[4/15, 8:40 PM] Winston Wu: Arent poets and writers tend to be unhappy?
[4/15, 8:40 PM] Winston Wu: Especially philosophers.
[4/15, 8:40 PM] Alex From Venice: many
[4/15, 8:41 PM] Winston Wu: Thats why deep people need to develop some spiritual practice like Buddhist meditation or zen.
[4/15, 8:41 PM] Winston Wu: To stay sane.
[4/15, 8:42 PM] Alex From Venice: Have you read the novel "The Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance"?
[4/15, 8:43 PM] Alex From Venice: it's one of the 3 books that made my life different
[4/15, 8:44 PM] Alex From Venice: the other two are "the scapegoat" (Renè Girard) and "The Foucault Pendulum" (Umberto Eco)
[4/15, 8:48 PM] Winston Wu: Not yet. I have it though because u reconmended it to me long ago
[4/15, 8:48 PM] Winston Wu: Isnt the scapegoat about the dreyfuss affair?
[4/15, 8:49 PM] Winston Wu: Maybe the parable of adam and eve shows that when they were stupid they were happy but once they got knowledgeable they got freedom but the consequence of it was unhappiness.
[4/15, 9:03 PM] Alex From Venice: no, it's about why the tale or myth or history of Jesus is unique in the human history
[4/15, 9:04 PM] Alex From Venice: the author doesn't say the story is true or a myth... he proves that whatever it is, it's unique
[4/15, 9:05 PM] Alex From Venice: never in the human history has appeared a story with such revealing elements that there are in the story of Jesus
[4/15, 9:06 PM] Alex From Venice: Never, before Christianity, it was said, or even thought, that the scapegoat exists
[4/15, 9:07 PM] Alex From Venice: it was existing of course, but it's never been revealed.
[4/15, 9:10 PM] Winston Wu: Isnt mithras and osiris also a dying and rising savior?
[4/15, 9:16 PM] Alex From Venice: that's not about the scapegoat
[4/15, 9:17 PM] Alex From Venice: scapegoat mean "innocent that is killed for the peace of mind of his killers"
[4/16, 8:58 AM] Alex From Venice: there's something really powerful happening when connecting our spirit to Jesus... 🤔
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

Here's ladislavs reply:

"There are people who have good karma. Just as there are those who have bad karma. And those who have regular karma. Buddhism does not teach that ALL life is suffering. It teaches that there are four sufferings: birth, sickness, old age and death. Even those positive people will get old and die. And we also don' t know the problems they have."
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Moretorque »

Most of the time I call it vacant contentment, in other words they are stupid!
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate »

People who seem happy all the time are faking it. No one is, not even close. Everyone has the full range of emotions in their lives, some do have more happiness than others, but no one is just "happy" all the time. If they think they are, sit back and set your watch because as sure as the sun will set, things will happen to make them unhappy.

People get sick, experience tragedy, lose loved ones, etc.

What you may be encountering people who are FULFILLED in life and therefore radiate positive energy. What is fulfillment? It is different for every person and each person would define it differently. But it has much to do with living according to you own live purpose and reaping the rewards of doing so.

All of us have annoyances, nuisances, bills that are higher than we want, medical issues, relationship challenges, and all the other trials of life. But it is how our attitudes toward our lives are oriented that makes us fulfilled, miserable, or somewhere in between.
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

But CE, not everyone experiences tragedy or freak accidents. Many people have long uneventful lives of routine where nothing major happens. For example in the SF Bay Area many upper middle class people have stressful boring jobs, but they got money and everyday for them is the same. Even in Asia, many people work in noodle shops everyday and have the same day everyday, just a dull routine, but Asians accept that as normal. Only the extreme cases and stories with tragedies and freak accidents make the news and get attention. But most people just live dull uneventful lives.

What I meant in the OP is the modern people who always act happy and positive all the time. We've all met them. You will see them if you turn on the Travel Channel especially. And of course, in American culture you are required to always act positive. That's the norm. Some people do pull it off all the time. Even if they have no tragedy in life, there should be normal ups and downs, but they always seem up and upbeat and enthusiastic, as if there are no regular down cycles or mood swings. How? What is their secret? Is it all brain chemistry as neurologists say? Is it a choice? How much free will is involved? They claim that one can simply "choose" to be happy as though it's a simple choice. How much of that is true?

What about listening to New Age gurus and self-improvement books and tapes all the time? Does that help? Or is that a bandaid for people with issues?
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Neo »

Maybe the period of observation isn't long enough to see the other emotions. Or a person may not know the other person well enough to know for sure, but only gets to see small glimpses of their personality.
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by HappyGuy »

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
April 18th, 2020, 3:55 pm
but no one is just "happy" all the time. If they think they are, sit back and set your watch because as sure as the sun will set, things will happen to make them unhappy.
Some people are just happy regardless of their surroundings. I think it has to do with how they choose to assess the world around them, the world may be the same for everyone but everyone looks at it differently which makes happiness a kind of secret. It probably has a lot to do with how your family viewed the world and it gets passed on. Both happiness and unhappiness.
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Contrarian Expatriate »

HappyGuy wrote:
April 20th, 2020, 3:16 pm
Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
April 18th, 2020, 3:55 pm
but no one is just "happy" all the time. If they think they are, sit back and set your watch because as sure as the sun will set, things will happen to make them unhappy.
Some people are just happy regardless of their surroundings. I think it has to do with how they choose to assess the world around them, the world may be the same for everyone but everyone looks at it differently which makes happiness a kind of secret. It probably has a lot to do with how your family viewed the world and it gets passed on. Both happiness and unhappiness.
I don't disagree with that, but I maintain that no one is perpetually "happy." Anyone who claims to be so is either lying or yet to experience the various troughs of life like serious illness, death of loved ones, divorce, separation, job loss, grief of personal failure, etc. Each of us can expect to have the full range of emotions in life. The fewest of us can expect happiness to be present at all times.
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Spencer »

brain chemical make some people same hi most time and other feel so bad most time and many in middle or cycle like bi polars so it possible lucky one always feel good same perpetuating morphine druggings
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

Isn't Mark Davis one of those people who alway seem happy or act happy? What do you think is his secret? Is it just basic positive thinking and repeating positive mantras everyday in your head?

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... =48&t=9751
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

Great philosophy video that explains my view that having a meaningful life is more important than being happy.



https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/809726 ... hat-is-the

“There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment.”

― Arthur Schopenhauer
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Winston »

Isn't Mark Davis one of those people who always seem happy and upbeat? What's his secret? In case you don't know who he is, I'm talking about this man here, who runs Dream Connections:

viewtopic.php?f=48&t=9751

Also, a long time Angeles Expat I know named Ted Lerner is like that too. Always upbeat and in a great mood every time I see him. See below.

viewtopic.php?f=23&t=42487

What is their secret?
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by Decu »

Maybe they pretend to be happy but in fact are not? If a person has no psychological disorders then it is not possible to be always happy imo.
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Re: Why are some people always happy? What's their secret?

Post by yick »

Yeah, you can be happy with your place in life, your station, your goals (I suppose 'content' is a better word than 'happy') - I like my life, I don't want to change it - that doesn't mean I don't have bad moments in the day (thus I am unhappy for certain periods of time) but I know they will pass - they are temporary phases within a day and I acecpt them now and don't react to them within the sphere of my life - and I think a lot of life is about acceptance - my defeats and mistakes of the past have been accepted for the most part, I know I can't change anything and therefore I accept it and I can get on with my life, many people are the prisoners of their past and their inner voice that bullies them relentlessly about it - which is why many people drink too much and take too many drugs - they want to shut that voice up and they never can - some people commit suicide because they can't handle their inner voice first thing in the morning.

There's things you can do to make yourself feel better, exercise, study, self-improvement, travel - there's a lot of things to make your life better and therefore be more content but the main thing is accepting things that you can't change - your past, your thinning hairline, your height, your eye colour - these are things you can't change and then there are things that you can - your weight, your physique, the way you act - if you're 5ft 4ins tomorrow morning then you will be 5ft 4ins on your last day on earth - you had better start finding ways around accepting that reality. Other things like death in the family, accidents - horrible things happen to good people every day and you have to find a way to deal with them as they're usually out of your control - as are dealing with arseholes - I suggest reading the works of Marcus Aureilius about this because those dilemmas are as old as time.

I always remember reading about Owen Wilson trying to take his own life at the height of his fame, here was a young, handsome, famous movie star with lots of women who wanted him and he wanted to end it all - I think it was that sort of prompted me to appreciate my life and what I have going for me, which is quite a lot of things in reality but continuous happiness isn't part of it and I don't really want that anyway.

The fact I am not depressed and on medication is a bonus to be honest.
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