Why do Americans like to say that we "Lack Self-Love"? WTF does that mean?!
Posted: November 9th, 2020, 1:11 am
I don't understand something. Why do American women, especially New Age women, always tell you to "Love Yourself" or that you "Lack Self-Love" and emphasize it as if it were something important and key to solving your problems and fulfilling yourself? WTF does that mean even?! I don't get it. It sounds nonsensical. Yet they seem fixated on it, as if it were some magical solution that will solve all your problems. It seems insane and fake and delusional. Why do they say it all the time? Especially New Age/self-help type of American women. I don't know if British and Australian women say this too, probably some of them do, but not as extreme as American women do. Here's one example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7dDXoEHuYk
Even the great Eastern philosophy author Alan Watts said that it's impossible to love yourself, and that it would be like trying to kiss yourself. Therefore, this advice is bunk and doesn't work. That's pretty obvious, so why is the phrase "you need to love yourself" so popular with Western women and New Agers? These are smart educated people so how can they believe such nonsense that is so useless, senseless and victim-blaming, and accomplishes nothing? Nor is there even any basic logic to it. So what is everyone smoking?! Even New Age men sometimes tell you too that you need to "love yourself" as if it were some weird fad or trend in the New Age movement. But in reality, it seems like a useless cliche that doesn't even make sense if you think about it. Yet New Agers never think it seems, no offense to them, but it's true.
Furthermore, they also like to tell people that if you want to find love or romance or a soulmate, that you need to love yourself first. WTF? I see no correlation at all there, yet they seem to think there is. It's an insult and it's victim blaming too. It's as if they are claiming that the answer to all your problems is that you "lack self-love", which is total nonsense!
I mean think about this for a moment.
1. The need for love, romance, sex, passion, etc is natural. It requires another person of the opposite sex who matches you and is compatible with you and makes you feel attraction, passion and romance. You can't fulfil such needs by "loving yourself". That's an oxymoron. Love requires another person or object to express that love onto. You can no more love yourself than kiss yourself (as Alan Watts said) or eat yourself. I mean, suppose you were hungry and ate the skin off of your body. Even if you could do that, what would it accomplish? It would only result in a net zero balance and not result in any gain or benefit. You'd only deplete yourself and create a net zero balance. So this makes no sense. If you need something, it requires an outside source of energy or nourishment. You can't just get it from yourself.
2. Isn't it impossible not to love yourself? I mean we all have a survival instinct for self-preservation, and as we all know, humans are selfish by nature with self-interest, at least to some extent. We all try to benefit ourselves and do what's best for us. If that's not self-love then I don't know what is. How can you love yourself even more? And even if you could, what would it accomplish? Wouldn't it just make yourself even more selfish and narcissistic? If so, how would that attract love to yourself? That makes no friggin sense! No one likes a narcissist, and Americans on the whole are already too narcissistic and entitled anyway. So what good would it do to increase something that there already is TOO MUCH of anyway?! That's like continuing to pour water into a cup that is already overflowing and spilling onto the floor! It makes no friggin sense!
3. Furthermore, one of the major teachings under the New Age umbrella is that "the self is an illusion" which is similar to Buddhist teaching and Zen philosophy. So if the self is an illusion and just a form of ego and should be jettisoned, then what's the point of "loving yourself" if the self isn't real? Isn't that contradictory or an oxymoron? Thus aren't these New Agers contradicting themselves? Why don't they ever think? They call themselves freethinkers yet they never think! lol. Funny irony.
4. Even if you could "love yourself" what would it accomplish? Nothing it seems. All it does is put you in a la la land where you imagine you have high self-esteem but in reality is just pseudo self-esteem, and is only temporary too. Eventually you have to come back to reality and remember that you are still inadequate and incomplete without love and companionship and quality friendship. Then you have to "love yourself" again so you can forget all your problems and go into la la land once more. It's all a delusional, like an escape from reality. I don't think that's healthy or natural either, which is why many American New Age women seem fake and delusional and unnatural. You gotta remember that some New Age women are still very materialistic and egotistical and hateful, and only pretend to be spiritual. It's just a band aid for them. There are genuine spiritual women who have inner peace and are at one with the universe, but these are less common and they tend to be with older women, not younger ones.
5. It's definitely a LIE when New Age women tell me that if I learn to "love myself" then I will attract friends and a wide choice of lovers to date. That one annoys me the most, because it's victim blaming and insinuates that if you can't get love or quality friends, that it's your fault because you don't "love yourself" enough. It's an insult to my intelligence and is not even true, not even in the slightest. So it annoys me when they say that. Yet when I could not get any dates in California, that's what they would tell me. Total nonsense, stupid and useless too. Think about this. Have you ever known any woman who said, "The reason I fell in love with my boyfriend/husband is because when I met him, he was so full of self-love that I fell in love with him too." No of course not. No one says that. Have you ever fell in love with a woman just because she "loves herself" a lot? Of course not. To love someone, there has to be chemistry. You have to be her type. It's subjective, just like feelings are, and so is taste. You can't control your heart. If you love someone, you love them, if you don't, you don't. Someone can't make you love them by loving themselves of course, that's idiotic. Loving yourself, even if possible, isn't gonna make one iota of difference. Duh. So it accomplishes nothing and isn't a solution to anything. So why do American women always say that? it's so dumb, annoying, insulting and victim-blaming.
My theory and educated guess:
I have a theory, and I apologize if it insults any women here, I don't mean to. My theory is that the reason American women, especially New Age women, say this is because deep down they feel weak and inadequate without a good man to love. They know they are weak, and not as strong mentally or physically as a healthy man is. They hate that and believe they should be equal to men, but deep down they know they aren't. They think they should be independent and happy and not need others, but they aren't. So they imagine by "loving themselves" it will make up for it and raise their "self-esteem" to compensate for their weakness. But it can't of course, so they think they need to love themselves even more and that they it's not enough. It's all false and pseudo of course.
The real problem here is false belief. They believe that they don't need a man to be happy and can just love themselves and depend on themselves and become whole by themselves. But it's not natural and doesn't work, so they think they need to do it even more and more and so forth. They don't realize their beliefs were faulty to begin with, because men and women naturally need each other. That's how nature or God made Adam and Eve, to complete and complement each other, not to be independent and not need each other, as New Age falsely teaches. It even says so in the book of Genesis when God made Eve for Adam.
That's my theory. I can't prove it of course but it makes sense and is very plausible. What do you all think?
Even the great Eastern philosophy author Alan Watts said that it's impossible to love yourself, and that it would be like trying to kiss yourself. Therefore, this advice is bunk and doesn't work. That's pretty obvious, so why is the phrase "you need to love yourself" so popular with Western women and New Agers? These are smart educated people so how can they believe such nonsense that is so useless, senseless and victim-blaming, and accomplishes nothing? Nor is there even any basic logic to it. So what is everyone smoking?! Even New Age men sometimes tell you too that you need to "love yourself" as if it were some weird fad or trend in the New Age movement. But in reality, it seems like a useless cliche that doesn't even make sense if you think about it. Yet New Agers never think it seems, no offense to them, but it's true.
Furthermore, they also like to tell people that if you want to find love or romance or a soulmate, that you need to love yourself first. WTF? I see no correlation at all there, yet they seem to think there is. It's an insult and it's victim blaming too. It's as if they are claiming that the answer to all your problems is that you "lack self-love", which is total nonsense!
I mean think about this for a moment.
1. The need for love, romance, sex, passion, etc is natural. It requires another person of the opposite sex who matches you and is compatible with you and makes you feel attraction, passion and romance. You can't fulfil such needs by "loving yourself". That's an oxymoron. Love requires another person or object to express that love onto. You can no more love yourself than kiss yourself (as Alan Watts said) or eat yourself. I mean, suppose you were hungry and ate the skin off of your body. Even if you could do that, what would it accomplish? It would only result in a net zero balance and not result in any gain or benefit. You'd only deplete yourself and create a net zero balance. So this makes no sense. If you need something, it requires an outside source of energy or nourishment. You can't just get it from yourself.
2. Isn't it impossible not to love yourself? I mean we all have a survival instinct for self-preservation, and as we all know, humans are selfish by nature with self-interest, at least to some extent. We all try to benefit ourselves and do what's best for us. If that's not self-love then I don't know what is. How can you love yourself even more? And even if you could, what would it accomplish? Wouldn't it just make yourself even more selfish and narcissistic? If so, how would that attract love to yourself? That makes no friggin sense! No one likes a narcissist, and Americans on the whole are already too narcissistic and entitled anyway. So what good would it do to increase something that there already is TOO MUCH of anyway?! That's like continuing to pour water into a cup that is already overflowing and spilling onto the floor! It makes no friggin sense!
3. Furthermore, one of the major teachings under the New Age umbrella is that "the self is an illusion" which is similar to Buddhist teaching and Zen philosophy. So if the self is an illusion and just a form of ego and should be jettisoned, then what's the point of "loving yourself" if the self isn't real? Isn't that contradictory or an oxymoron? Thus aren't these New Agers contradicting themselves? Why don't they ever think? They call themselves freethinkers yet they never think! lol. Funny irony.
4. Even if you could "love yourself" what would it accomplish? Nothing it seems. All it does is put you in a la la land where you imagine you have high self-esteem but in reality is just pseudo self-esteem, and is only temporary too. Eventually you have to come back to reality and remember that you are still inadequate and incomplete without love and companionship and quality friendship. Then you have to "love yourself" again so you can forget all your problems and go into la la land once more. It's all a delusional, like an escape from reality. I don't think that's healthy or natural either, which is why many American New Age women seem fake and delusional and unnatural. You gotta remember that some New Age women are still very materialistic and egotistical and hateful, and only pretend to be spiritual. It's just a band aid for them. There are genuine spiritual women who have inner peace and are at one with the universe, but these are less common and they tend to be with older women, not younger ones.
5. It's definitely a LIE when New Age women tell me that if I learn to "love myself" then I will attract friends and a wide choice of lovers to date. That one annoys me the most, because it's victim blaming and insinuates that if you can't get love or quality friends, that it's your fault because you don't "love yourself" enough. It's an insult to my intelligence and is not even true, not even in the slightest. So it annoys me when they say that. Yet when I could not get any dates in California, that's what they would tell me. Total nonsense, stupid and useless too. Think about this. Have you ever known any woman who said, "The reason I fell in love with my boyfriend/husband is because when I met him, he was so full of self-love that I fell in love with him too." No of course not. No one says that. Have you ever fell in love with a woman just because she "loves herself" a lot? Of course not. To love someone, there has to be chemistry. You have to be her type. It's subjective, just like feelings are, and so is taste. You can't control your heart. If you love someone, you love them, if you don't, you don't. Someone can't make you love them by loving themselves of course, that's idiotic. Loving yourself, even if possible, isn't gonna make one iota of difference. Duh. So it accomplishes nothing and isn't a solution to anything. So why do American women always say that? it's so dumb, annoying, insulting and victim-blaming.
My theory and educated guess:
I have a theory, and I apologize if it insults any women here, I don't mean to. My theory is that the reason American women, especially New Age women, say this is because deep down they feel weak and inadequate without a good man to love. They know they are weak, and not as strong mentally or physically as a healthy man is. They hate that and believe they should be equal to men, but deep down they know they aren't. They think they should be independent and happy and not need others, but they aren't. So they imagine by "loving themselves" it will make up for it and raise their "self-esteem" to compensate for their weakness. But it can't of course, so they think they need to love themselves even more and that they it's not enough. It's all false and pseudo of course.
The real problem here is false belief. They believe that they don't need a man to be happy and can just love themselves and depend on themselves and become whole by themselves. But it's not natural and doesn't work, so they think they need to do it even more and more and so forth. They don't realize their beliefs were faulty to begin with, because men and women naturally need each other. That's how nature or God made Adam and Eve, to complete and complement each other, not to be independent and not need each other, as New Age falsely teaches. It even says so in the book of Genesis when God made Eve for Adam.
That's my theory. I can't prove it of course but it makes sense and is very plausible. What do you all think?