Dateless beautiful woman in America ? How could this happen

manly5000 · Post by **manly5000** » March 31st, 2014, 8:45 am

julieSA999 wrote:I just feel completely invisible

Welcome to the world of the average American man. Next time you feel invisible and lonely, think about all the good guys you rejected and treated like crap during your twenties.

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » March 31st, 2014, 2:13 pm

julieSA999 wrote:Honestly, I just go out all the time in real life and no one asks me out. I would be happy to go on lots of dates with different types of men and give people chances, but my biggest "problem" is just that no one ever seems interested.

I mean, I go to all these meetup groups... I find young professional happy hours advertised on email lists... I go through do512.com and the chronicle newspaper for events... last week it was a podcast that was in town, the week before it was an adult night at a children's museum...

I smile, I say hi to guys. If I get lucky, they smile back. They rarely ever say hi back. I strike up conversations with them. They seem uninterested, walk off. They never ask my number. Sometimes I ask for their number. Sometimes they text, but when I text back, there might be one or two more interchanges and then they fade away.

I just feel completely invisible to men.

Now you know how men in America feel, they feel invisible to women. Studies show that women in the US are the second least flirtatious women in the world. In America, women basically ignore men and don't flirt or show any interest in men.

I have a hard time believing when you ask men out, they say "no." Most men are flattered that a woman would ask them out. Hell, most men would be ecstatic if a woman would just make eye contact with them and smile at them.

If your having such a hard time meeting men as you say you are, maybe you should look into moving into a city like Miami, where 59% of the single adults are men (between the ages of 18 and 45). Or Chicago or Los Angeles, where 55% of the single adults are men and only 45% are women (between ages 18 to 45). This would make it easier for you to meet men.

pete98146 · Post by **pete98146** » March 31st, 2014, 2:19 pm

jamesbond wrote:
julieSA999 wrote:Honestly, I just go out all the time in real life and no one asks me out. I would be happy to go on lots of dates with different types of men and give people chances, but my biggest "problem" is just that no one ever seems interested.

I mean, I go to all these meetup groups... I find young professional happy hours advertised on email lists... I go through do512.com and the chronicle newspaper for events... last week it was a podcast that was in town, the week before it was an adult night at a children's museum...

I smile, I say hi to guys. If I get lucky, they smile back. They rarely ever say hi back. I strike up conversations with them. They seem uninterested, walk off. They never ask my number. Sometimes I ask for their number. Sometimes they text, but when I text back, there might be one or two more interchanges and then they fade away.

I just feel completely invisible to men.
Now you know how men in America feel, they feel invisible to women. Studies show that women in the US are the second least flirtatious women in the world. In America, women basically ignore men and don't flirt or show any interest in men.

I have a hard time believing when you ask men out, they say "no." Most men are flattered that a woman would ask them out. Hell, most men would be ecstatic if a woman would just make eye contact with them and smile at them.

If your having such a hard time meeting men as you say you are, maybe you should look into moving into a city like Miami, where 59% of the single adults are men (between the ages of 18 and 45). Or Chicago or Los Angeles, where 55% of the single adults are men and only 45% are women (between ages 18 to 45). This would make it easier for you to meet men.

I was thinking the same thing. She's a smart and pretty girl. She'd get LOTS of attention in Seattle because this town imports techies (mostly male) and the male to female ratio is heavily in favor of women.

julieSA999 · Post by **julieSA999** » March 31st, 2014, 4:55 pm

Well, if I listen to the posts here, I'm not that attractive, so if I approach guys and they don't respond, maybe that's it. :/

Honestly, a lot of men live here from NY or LA. I feel like this is an increasingly less friendly town in general. But hell, I don't know. I do plan to move to somewhere like Dallas, Houston or New Orleans by 2016 if my luck doesn't improve. Women there tell me the men are less attractive, but hit on women all the time and that the ratio would be in my favor. And that people go on actual dates, not just bang after the bars close. I do plan on carving out some time this weekend to go through the boards here and look at profiles of women abroad.

pete98146 · Post by **pete98146** » March 31st, 2014, 5:36 pm

julieSA999 wrote:Well, if I listen to the posts here, I'm not that attractive, so if I approach guys and they don't respond, maybe that's it. :/

Honestly, a lot of men live here from NY or LA. I feel like this is an increasingly less friendly town in general. But hell, I don't know. I do plan to move to somewhere like Dallas, Houston or New Orleans by 2016 if my luck doesn't improve. Women there tell me the men are less attractive, but hit on women all the time and that the ratio would be in my favor. And that people go on actual dates, not just bang after the bars close. I do plan on carving out some time this weekend to go through the boards here and look at profiles of women abroad.

You have to take their comments with a grain of salt Julie. The original intent of this forum was to discuss the benefits of moving abroad/dating foreign women. Well it's morphed into a place where guys bitch about the downfall of the American woman and the vast majority of posts are negative.......very negative. So the parallel would be me going to a lesbian forum and asking for dating advice. Imagine the responses!!!

Trust me, you are a pretty lady. You have a bit of that young Rosanna Arquette thing going on. There are a lot of self centered jerks out there (both men and women). About all any single person can do is to remain humble, positive and friendly (even if you don't feel like it). Guys will be drawn to you if they feel a positive vide. Don't get down on yourself. Smile, smile, smile and be approachable. It will eventually happen

Johnny1975 · Post by **Johnny1975** » April 1st, 2014, 2:21 am

Julie, do you want help with your profile or don't you? You're far better off taking advice from us than you would if you took advice from other women. They won't be honest with you, we will.

TheLegendSeeker · Post by **TheLegendSeeker** » April 1st, 2014, 3:33 am

I've just came across this post and I couldn't help but notice that some members speak the truth about western women and the dating hell for men in the western world backing it up with real life facts. But as soon as a western female logs into this website posing as a martyr in the name of love then members offer unconditional sympathy and console.
Women get hundreds of messages in any dating websites, it's like a "men buffet" for them , and yet they still complain if all they have to do is to choose one or more? These creatures can't get enough can they? They take and take and take...

Johnny1975 · Post by **Johnny1975** » April 1st, 2014, 12:33 pm

TheLegendSeeker wrote:I've just came across this post and I couldn't help but notice that some members speak the truth about western women and the dating hell for men in the western world backing it up with real life facts. But as soon as a western female logs into this website posing as a martyr in the name of love then members offer unconditional sympathy and console.
Women get hundreds of messages in any dating websites, it's like a "men buffet" for them , and yet they still complain if all they have to do is to choose one or more? These creatures can't get enough can they? They take and take and take...

Yes I hear that but although we dislike the way a lot of western women are, and although I'm sure this woman also has faults, we're not heartless monsters. I think if she at least learns something, it will be a good thing. Besides, it's no hassle for me to give advice if I can give it. I don't think any of us ever pledged not to talk to or help a western woman. They're still people.

manly5000 · Post by **manly5000** » April 1st, 2014, 1:18 pm

Johnny1975 wrote:They're still people.

Not bloody likely.

Johnny1975 · Post by **Johnny1975** » April 1st, 2014, 4:14 pm

manly5000 wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:They're still people.

Not bloody likely.

Haha, that's cute. Very clever. But it doesn't change the fact that it's no skin off my nose to give advice, for what it's worth. It's up to her if she wants to take it. And besides, if it entertains you, that's even better.

bladed11 · Post by **bladed11** » April 3rd, 2014, 11:37 pm

TheLegendSeeker wrote:I've just came across this post and I couldn't help but notice that some members speak the truth about western women and the dating hell for men in the western world backing it up with real life facts. But as soon as a western female logs into this website posing as a martyr in the name of love then members offer unconditional sympathy and console.
Women get hundreds of messages in any dating websites, it's like a "men buffet" for them , and yet they still complain if all they have to do is to choose one or more? These creatures can't get enough can they? They take and take and take...

I don't even know why guys respect them. There is no love to be found in American women. Maybe I was a bit harsh on her but I meant most of it. Difference between me an other American men is I speak the truth.

droid · Post by **droid** » April 4th, 2014, 8:55 pm

Yeah, no need to be harsh to one particular individual. There's many variations among a general trend. Statistics 101.

She probably needs to get out of her town, or America for that matter. Perhaps her personality is really not compatible to the demographics etc.
Could be a perfect exception where it's actually a woman that has to go happier-abroad.

OP: Have you traveled some? If so, what do you think of those other countries/environments?

Having said that, I wish I had that tough problem of having to choose among hundreds and hundreds of suitors!! My goodness

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » April 5th, 2014, 12:02 am

droid wrote:I wish I had that tough problem of having to choose among hundreds and hundreds of suitors!! My goodness.

Yeah, tell me about it. I wish I had her problem of getting hundreds of responses a week using an online dating site. Hell, I wish I could get one or two responses a week using online dating.

julieSA999 · Post by **julieSA999** » April 6th, 2014, 8:22 am

Well, after reading all this one thing I have started doing is when someone writes me I'm more likely to write back something like:

"Thanks for the email! I looked at your profile and it looks like you are interested in a casual/no commitment relationship and I am interested in marriage. We'll both have to keep looking so good luck"

I dunno, I guess it's just probably nicer to hear than radio silence.

If a guy does respond to me that I like, I've downloaded all the dating site apps on my mobile phone and I've just started responding to them immediately. Within, like, the hour, even if I'm kind of busy.

So I may go out with someone by the end of this weekend.

American men have a lot of the same traits you guys seem to dislike in American women, actually. I never thought about it being the same, but it seems like most of the men off dating sites that I've entertained just talked about money and material things through the whole date. I got the impression they were arrogant and not very nice. Most list "ambition" several times in their profile. So I've started to look for words like volunteering, yoga, meditation, gardening, teaching (things I'm into that maybe someone more humble would like)

Anyway, sorry for the late response. This is all a lot of information to digest and I still have boards to go through. Yes, I'm taking any help I can get. I will move from Austin by 2016 if it doesn't get any better, but I have certain job commitments til then. Moving out of the country seems like a bigger obstacle. I'm a citizen in Switzerland, however just moving from Illinois to Texas was a really bad experience. I sold all my things, moved and couldn't find a job paying over $10/hour for a very long time. I'm afraid of making another mistake like that or moving and finding out I don't enjoy it (like maybe everyone there is already married and I have nothing in common with anyone), and then not being able to move back home because I don't have the money. I'm seeing my Swiss relatives in two weeks so I'll ask more about it.

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » April 6th, 2014, 8:39 am

julieSA999 wrote:I'm a citizen in Switzerland, however just moving from Illinois to Texas was a really bad experience. I sold all my things, moved and couldn't find a job paying over $10/hour for a very long time. I'm afraid of making another mistake like that or moving and finding out I don't enjoy it (like maybe everyone there is already married and I have nothing in common with anyone), and then not being able to move back home because I don't have the money. I'm seeing my Swiss relatives in two weeks so I'll ask more about it.

You said you are a citizen of Switzerland? That sounds interesting, you may actually enjoy living there more than in the USA.

You mentioned you moved to Texas from Illinois. What part of Illinois did you live in? I live in the Chicago area and the job market here is a joke, I guess it's the same in Austin Texas.