Happier Abroad Forum Community

Some of my expat friends are dating Chinese, Korean, and Japanese girls and two of them plan to marry. In general I see Asian marriages have a longer life-span than western messages. What don't I know about these mixed marriages that is important or can be easily overlooked?

PRO-
Chinese are the most intelligent people in the world. Chances are even an average American will have intelligent children.

Major universities are so F-ing liberal and love diversity so much they have actually had to deny many Chinese because they are overrepresented.

Their kids win spelling bees and their parent can barely speak English.

She will be smart and will age well. If she is sexy now chances are she will be sexy later. Whereas any other woman will look like crap, fat and ugly.

WARNING!
Chinese Chicks can be emotional, controlling and with a fiery temperament. ALSO MAYBE A TIGER IN BED.

Jonny Law wrote:PRO-
Chinese are the most intelligent people in the world. Chances are even an average American will have intelligent children.

Major universities are so F-ing liberal and love diversity so much they have actually had to deny many Chinese because they are overrepresented.

Their kids win spelling bees and their parent can barely speak English.

She will be smart and will age well. If she is sexy now chances are she will be sexy later. Whereas any other woman will look like crap, fat and ugly.

WARNING!
Chinese Chicks can be emotional, controlling and with a fiery temperament. ALSO MAYBE A TIGER IN BED.

I agree with the controlling and nagging of Chinese females. Also, beware the "Tiger Mom" syndrome. Plus, Chinese females can be very materialistic and demanding.

But I disagree with the notion that most Chinese chicks are all, somehow, good in bed. Definitely not true--even coming from some foreigners married to Chinese females.

Some can act as frigid as robots in bed....

Pro:

Will have hot body, and it lasts for years.
Will work extremely hard to bring up kids.
Some Chinese girls are extremely slutty and are up for anything. You'll have to do a bit of "research" on this subject though.

Con:

They can change after marriage, and sometimes before.
If their mom or other family member gets sick, it'll cost you $$$$$.
Chinese women are a terrible choice if you don't have much money, or you're laid back.
Will trade you up if she's too ambitious.

Jonny Law wrote:PRO-
Chinese are the most intelligent people in the world. Chances are even an average American will have intelligent children.

Sorry...says who? Just because so many Chinese people have achieved success in the West, it doesn't mean they're all geniuses, and not even that they're all hard working people.

Irony has it, the original "Tiger Mom" Amy Chua is daughter of a famous Filipino-Chinese scientist, Leon Chua.

Jonny Law wrote:Major universities are so F-ing liberal and love diversity so much they have actually had to deny many Chinese because they are overrepresented.

Their kids win spelling bees and their parent can barely speak English.

This might have more to do with the obsessive emphasis on discipline and study many Chinese (and Asian in general) parents force upon their kids. If those kids turn into smart yet socially impaired nerds who resort to spending thousands of their (parents') dollars on crappy PUA bootcamps, I woudn't be surprised.

Jonny Law wrote:She will be smart and will age well. If she is sexy now chances are she will be sexy later. Whereas any other woman will look like crap, fat and ugly.

WARNING!
Chinese Chicks can be emotional, controlling and with a fiery temperament. ALSO MAYBE A TIGER IN BED.

A bunch of tired stereotypes...

Chinese women can be very committed to their careers. They have no problem with working nights, weekends and holidays, even if that does mean sacrificing time with their families. I know one Chinese woman who's been dragging her poor husband all over the USA because she keeps finding better job opportunities elsewhere. Meanwhile, she keeps putting off having kids. She's in her late 20's now and she's going to need fertility treatments if she waits much longer.

Jonny Law wrote:HEY AS@ HOLE STEROTYPES ARE EARNED NOT GIVEN

So is respect. So earn yours before your nonsense gains credibility.

I'm almost driven to insanity because my parents are desperate for grandchildren so they want to find a wife for me. I don't want to end up with some ugly woman especially with southeast Asian features. I'm willing to put up with bullshit, especially if she's attractive to be honest here. All I want is a pretty face with a nice smile. And maybe a decent personality and some loyalty. I wonder how am I going to put up with this matchmaking stuff because I'll be heading off to China within a year or so, staying there for about a month. My parents are willing to risk their money and their lives just to see me married and have children.

I tend to have somewhat high standards when it comes to looks, so no noticeable southeast Asian admixture. I know it sounds racist, but I'm not attracted to faces who look barely even East Asian anymore. Sudsinid composites seem to confirm my assertion that southern Chinese have mostly non-northeast Asian ancestry.

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I'm sure there are Chinese women who could make good wives. I also hear some of them can be nagging and controlling. There is also a stereotype of Chinese being greedy, but I know that some Christian Chinese can be very generous in their giving. A lot of my experience with Chinese people is from Indonesia.

Mainland Chinese culture got really messed up with that whole communist thing.

As far as Chinese being geniuses go, there are Chinese children in the US who are the children of immigrants who had to take risks or work hard to get to the US. It takes an adventurous type of person to make a new life in a new country. That may not be representative of all Chinese people on the mainland. The ones who come here to study may be the very top of their class back home, not the average student. If you marry a Chinese rice farmer from China, she may not be the genius tiger mom type.

A plus with marrying a Chinese woman, depending on where she is from, is that if she knows how to cook her local cuisine you can have quite a culinary experience.

My wife is Indonesian. She could cook a little when we married, but she enjoyed it. She has constantly learned to cook new dishes, including some of the Chinese dishes that are popular in her own country, like a kind of chicken noodle soup and chap chay. She has made hot and sour soup before, though we've only found that at one restaurant in Indonesia.

Pros:

- Chinese women are responsible and wise with money and finances.
- Chinese women are very feminine, lady like, slender and have smooth light skin that ages well. They usually look younger than their age.
- They are usually decent or good cooks. And have good domestic skills.
- They are practical and organize practical aspects of life well.
- They are good with money and are good at saving money, bargaining prices, and making money.
- They manage and run businesses well. Are very calculating with money and practicalities.
- They tend to have a knack for math and accounting, and excel well in those subjects in school and in business. They are good with numbers. Numbers are their element, so to speak.
- They eat healthy and cook healthy. Very health conscious.
- They look great in Chinese qipao dress. Very elegant and graceful when in dress.
- Very family oriented. Good traditional family values.
- Good intelligence. Chinese are rated in the upper tier in terms of IQ. Good memorization skills too.
- Refined, classy and civilized. Not as disgusting or barbaric as their male counterparts in China, who spit and make loud disgusting noises.
- Very down to earth personality if she grew up in mainland China. Not fake or pretentious or full of BS.
- Honest and tells it like it is. Not as politically correct or liberal or fake as Western women. Much more blunt and straightforward. More genuine as well, which is very refreshing. Also not long-winded, but rather, says what needs to be said and does not add any unnecessary fluff.
- Is wise. Tries to find a balance in life. Tries to avoid bad habits in advance too. Does not like alcohol much.
- Can often be generous. They like to treat their friends and even their dates or lovers, to meals. Not stingy about such things. (compared to Russian and Filipino women)

Cons:

- Can be picky and judgmental. They are not simple, but complicated. Have a tendency to overanalyze and overthink, to the point where they create problems or make issues.
- Too materialistic and status oriented. Too much focus on having a house, car, job, and sending kids to the best universities. Too conventional type of thinking.
- Work too much. Can be workaholic. Prone to the "live to work" mentality. Feeling that they must always be productive.
- Too practical, lacking original thought, imagination or creativity. Not good at discussing ideas, concepts or philosophy. They are very good with numbers, but not with ideas, concepts or imagination. Not very good oratory skills either.
- Cannot think outside the box. Assumes that authority/government is always right. Conforms to majority.
- No interest in intellectual subjects. No interest in Chess or Checkers or even Go. Very left brained.
- Can be narrow minded and rigid. Set in their ways. Must do everything "the Chinese way" and follow "Chinese customs".
- Can be hot tempered or demanding. Sets a high standard in life. Not easy going or laid back.
- Can become a tiger mom to your kids, demanding that they excel in everything - grades, piano lessons, honors, etc.
- Most are not that passionate or sensual in bed. They are not like hot latin lovers.
- Can become bossy. Believes that they are the boss inside the home, while their husband appears to be the boss outside the home.
- Can like shopping too much, and even use it as an escape when in a bad mood.
- Cares too much about what other people think.

Hope that helps.