I have had sex over 2000 times

[MrMan]

Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 3000 to 5000 times actually. I'm pretty sure I broke 650 in the first two years of marriage, just counting intercourse.

One of the good things about marriage, at least a reasonably decent marriage, is access to sex. That's where sex is supposed to take place...in marriage. Before the birth control pill, sex could easily lead to pregnancy. Even with birth control pills and condoms, it still can. If you sleep around outside of marriage, there could be some poor kid out there growing up without his dad, whose deadbeat dad never sent him a dime, threw him a baseball, showed him how to ride a bike, or any of that stuff.

I know I had hoped I'd marry a woman who stayed thin and looked good as she got older. My wife and i are still in our 40's. She still looks good, a pretty tight face. Her forehead wrinkles a bit with certain expressions, which she is really concerned about, but that's about it. She looks young, and she's still thin. I married a very thin girl, though. She was around 92 pounds when she started showing with our first child. I'm not sure how much she weighs. It could not be much more than 100. I don't know if there is a secret to choosing a young one that will look like that. It seems like the ones who are pretty but just a little on the pudgy side, but still attractive, tend to blow up when they get older.

I went to my wife's high school reunion a few years ago. There were all these kind of stout Indonesian women. Maybe one other was attractive. The rest had gotten bigger-- not American bigger, but big enough to where they looked like unappealing (to me) middle aged women. One of them, right when I met her, shook my hand and said in Indonesian, "I used to be pretty" or something like that. It was a strange comment. But I realized she was self-conscious because my wife had gotten prettier, not uglier, since high school. (I've seen her pictures. She looked nice, but must have grown into her looks.)

I'm thinking about COVID 19. The players who complain about the idea of having to be with one woman for life, who are afraid they will get bored have no where to go to pick up women, possibly impregnate them, and spread or catch disease as they sin against God, potentially storing up more wrath for themselves on the day of wrath. And many of them probably have nowhere to go to get sex. Even in normal times, some of them probably experience a wait between sexual encounters with that new person-- or 'new-to-them women.' That well-used car you buy is a 'new-to-you' car, too. But now, a lot of them are getting nothing. If your married, and you are locked down with your wife... well...there is stuff you can do during the lockdown.

[yick]

I'm thinking about COVID 19. The players who complain about the idea of having to be with one woman for life, who are afraid they will get bored have no where to go to pick up women, possibly impregnate them, and spread or catch disease as they sin against God, potentially storing up more wrath for themselves blahblahblah

I don't know if you remember the 1980's but AIDS didn't stop anyone shagging! And the threat of that was a lot lot scarier than this - one in three people will know someone to have died of AIDS - that was the mantra going around the UK...

Coronavirus might make things hard for a Happier Abroad experience - the Asian countries might start kicking people out - when I say people I mean foreigners - I won't doubt for one second that Trump if he gets re-elected will ban Chinese nationals from entering the United States and ban their airlines from entering if a second wave hits the Northern Hemisphere this winter coming, if you're American and you travel a lot, then you already know that these things end up being reciprocal.

No-one is going to stop having sex because of coronavirus

[WorldTraveler]

Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 3000 to 5000 times actually. I'm pretty sure I broke 650 in the first two years of marriage, just counting intercourse.

I thought you were going to tell us you had sex with 2000 women. It's not as exciting having sex with the same woman 2000 times over many years. How many years have you been married? Congratulations for still finding your wife beautiful and finding this exciting Were you a virgin when you got married?

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Deleted....

[MrMan]

I don't know if you remember the 1980's but AIDS didn't stop anyone shagging! And the threat of that was a lot lot scarier than this - one in three people will know someone to have died of AIDS - that was the mantra going around the UK...

They didn't fine or intimidate you if you left the house, and there were other people out looking to be found in social situations.

No-one is going to stop having sex because of coronavirus

At least for the time being, it can stop people from meeting in social situations. I'm under a stay-at-home order with my wife. That doesn't stop us from having sex.

[MrMan]

I thought you were going to tell us you had sex with 2000 women. It's not as exciting having sex with the same woman 2000 times over many years.

Have you tried it?

How many years have you been married? Congratulations for still finding your wife beautiful and finding this exciting Were you a virgin when you got married?

We both were virgins. We've been married for 20 years. I figure 2000 is a way low conservative figure.

[MrMan]

Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 3000 to 5000 times actually. I'm pretty sure I broke 650 in the first two years of marriage, just counting intercourse.

Yeah, to the same woman. Who they heck wants to have sex with the same woman that many times? No thanks!

Good to see you in the marriage-minded forums. Does that mean you are going to come around, and get married... but be celibate since you don't want to have sex with her?

Having sex 2000 times has a nice ring to it to me. It probably sounded a lot better to me in my 20's though, than it does in my 40's. Since you are a bit older than me, maybe it doesn't sound as good to you.

Oh really? If you're wife still "looks good: in her 40s, why don't you post a photo of her here? I think you know that guys would savage her appearance to the point where you'd want an immediate divorce.

People tell me my wife is pretty all the time. I'm not posting photos so people can tell me what my wife looks like. I hardly post photos on Facebook. I don't need to expose my identity on a forum like this. I don't see you posting pictures of yourself and the girls you date. There are a few people who seem hostile and occasionally possibly the mentally ill on the forum.

Covid 19 has been the biggest boon to my sex life EVER. Girls are cooped up and bored and they want to get out and have sex. It is the married people to are driving each other nuts because they have never before had to spend so much time together. There are nationwide reports of increased domestic violence and increases in suicides among married people. While I don't wish that upon anyone, you get a big fat FAIL for trying to convince us that you are happy with your older wife during the lockdown. THANK GOODNESS most of us don't have to deal with the nuisance of a wife under these circumstances. I almost get the impression that you're trying to dupe marriage-free men into thinking you got some sort of good deal going. You don't.

I take it the guys in the black heicoptors do not shoot the girls on the way to your place to have sex with you. I haven't heard reports of increased domestic violence, but I have heard reports of feminist activists speculating that it will happen.

And if the most gorgeous girl in the world told me she wanted me to have sex with only her for the rest of my life, I would abruptly end the phone call and block that bird-brained idiot.

Most guys can't last that long. If a girl said that, she may not think you were on your last legs.

[WorldTraveler]

I thought you were going to tell us you had sex with 2000 women. It's not as exciting having sex with the same woman 2000 times over many years.

Have you tried it?

How many years have you been married? Congratulations for still finding your wife beautiful and finding this exciting Were you a virgin when you got married?

We both were virgins. We've been married for 20 years. I figure 2000 is a way low conservative figure.

How old were you and your wife when you met? Where did you meet her?

I was in a very long term relationship once. She was the prettiest girl I had ever dated when we met. I was in love. She was my girlfriend for years. She may have been the best looking, but she was not the best sex. She got where she liked it less and less. In fact she got where she didn't like it at all by the time we broke up. I wish I had left her many years earlier. I know she is with another man. I'm sure they are in a sexless relationship.

[Outcast9428]

OP you have lived the life I want to live as a guy who is currently in my mid 20s lol. Marriage is the real key to a satisfying sex life. I think a lot of guys have just been misled by the liberal media into thinking that a life of promiscuous bar hookups is somehow more fun then living with a girl who loves you.

Did you live in the US before you got married? What country is your wife from? What was your life in the US like before you got married?

[ReinhardtKozlowski]

OP you have lived the life I want to live as a guy who is currently in my mid 20s lol. Marriage is the real key to a satisfying sex life. I think a lot of guys have just been misled by the liberal media into thinking that a life of promiscuous bar hookups is somehow more fun then living with a girl who loves you.

Did you live in the US before you got married? What country is your wife from? What was your life in the US like before you got married?

Marriage, in my case, was a great way to guarantee an infinite supply of medium-quality sex.

I married my wife (originally from China) two months after we first met. We've now been married for over 15 years. While I didn't count, I'd guestimate that we had sex maybe 1000 times in our first two years alone, an averaged 5 times/week in the past 10 years. So... a lot

[WorldTraveler]

OP you have lived the life I want to live as a guy who is currently in my mid 20s lol. Marriage is the real key to a satisfying sex life. I think a lot of guys have just been misled by the liberal media into thinking that a life of promiscuous bar hookups is somehow more fun then living with a girl who loves you.

Did you live in the US before you got married? What country is your wife from? What was your life in the US like before you got married?

Marriage, in my case, was a great way to guarantee an infinite supply of medium-quality sex.

I married my wife (originally from China) two months after we first met. We've now been married for over 15 years. While I didn't count, I'd guestimate that we had sex maybe 1000 times in our first two years alone, an averaged 5 times/week in the past 10 years. So... a lot

For all you married guys who are getting sex all the time and having it thousands of times, I've had other experiences. My last long term relationships in the West, the women had sex no more than once a year those last years. They lost interest in sex. I find most women lose interest with sex the longer you are in the relationship. This is not just my experience but other men I know that tell the truth.

[MrMan]

OP you have lived the life I want to live as a guy who is currently in my mid 20s lol. Marriage is the real key to a satisfying sex life. I think a lot of guys have just been misled by the liberal media into thinking that a life of promiscuous bar hookups is somehow more fun then living with a girl who loves you.

Did you live in the US before you got married? What country is your wife from? What was your life in the US like before you got married?

Yes, it is more satisfying to have guilt-free sex with a woman who loves you, who you love, who is committed to you for life. If you make a baby, you raise it instead of leaving him or her without a father.

Some people treat having sex as if it is the highest 'good' in life, without considering the moral ramifications. Like we see from other posters, there are women who lose interest in sex in marriage. But for most men who marry, I am pretty sure they have more sex than singles who go to the bar scene. If a man walks up to a girl in a bar and says bluntly, out of the blue, with no warm up, "Let's have sex." if he were extremely good-looking and happened upon a very slutty girl, maybe it could happen. But I could say those words and get some 'action' in a reasonable period of time. So even from the perspective of a man just wanting sex, marriage makes sense.

I think if I had it to do over again, I'd have had a more detailed talk about sex with my wife, telling her I expected it very regularly way off into old age, for her to jump back into the sack after she healed up from pregnancy, that I would need it during stressful times like traveling, moving, etc., trying to cover bases some men experience. For example, some men find their wives say they are old and shouldn't be having a lot of sex, junk like that. I think my wife knows I expect sex into old age, but getting her to make more of a commitment to regular sex prior to marriage (I married a virgin) and kind of reminding her of that early on to let it sink in as something she committed to might be a good idea. The downside of that is you don't want the relationship to be 'contractual' or 'obligatory' since sex is better when they just want to do it because they love you, are attracted to you, etc. If you talk these things through when dating starts to get serious, it might help frame expectations for what is reasonable in marriage and to some extent her behavior afterwards.

Also, someone in the marriage has to 'make the sex happen.' Just saying, "Let's have sex tonight" can work, but a woman also likes to be wooed a bit. Lots of affection, physical contact, eye contact, a bit of flirting, expressing appreciation, etc., can help build her enthusiasm for later.

[Outcast9428]

OP you have lived the life I want to live as a guy who is currently in my mid 20s lol. Marriage is the real key to a satisfying sex life. I think a lot of guys have just been misled by the liberal media into thinking that a life of promiscuous bar hookups is somehow more fun then living with a girl who loves you.

Did you live in the US before you got married? What country is your wife from? What was your life in the US like before you got married?

Marriage, in my case, was a great way to guarantee an infinite supply of medium-quality sex.

I married my wife (originally from China) two months after we first met. We've now been married for over 15 years. While I didn't count, I'd guestimate that we had sex maybe 1000 times in our first two years alone, an averaged 5 times/week in the past 10 years. So... a lot

For all you married guys who are getting sex all the time and having it thousands of times, I've had other experiences. My last long term relationships in the West, the women had sex no more than once a year those last years. They lost interest in sex. I find most women lose interest with sex the longer you are in the relationship. This is not just my experience but other men I know that tell the truth.

Its quite possible that this is a symptom of Western culture's liberal attitude towards marriage.

The message you see everywhere these days is that marriage will be the death of your sex life and that sex is only interesting when its novel. That if you don't find new techniques, new positions, or new partners, that sex will become boring and stale. Unfortunately I think this is causing a lot of people to enter into marriage expecting that to happen and then turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Asian countries don't have these attitudes towards marriage though because of their more traditionalist mindset. Instead people have more of a hopeful mindset and if they run into problems, they are determined to figure out how to fix it, and divorce is a last resort only to be used if nothing else worked. This map below shows how common divorce is in each country and it becomes clear that the US and Europe have the worst divorce rates...



What I find interesting is that even the South American countries have much lower rates of divorce. South America is different from the others in that it is very conservative when it comes to gender roles and family but pretty liberal when it comes to sex specifically. Brazil notoriously has a lot of promiscuity, but they still have lower rates of divorce. I think this is because the mainstream culture of Brazil still holds up monogamy and stable marriages as ideal even if in practice there's a lot of promiscuity (possibly more so then in the US and Europe) so people go into marriage with better mindsets.

OP you have lived the life I want to live as a guy who is currently in my mid 20s lol. Marriage is the real key to a satisfying sex life. I think a lot of guys have just been misled by the liberal media into thinking that a life of promiscuous bar hookups is somehow more fun then living with a girl who loves you.

Did you live in the US before you got married? What country is your wife from? What was your life in the US like before you got married?

Yes, it is more satisfying to have guilt-free sex with a woman who loves you, who you love, who is committed to you for life. If you make a baby, you raise it instead of leaving him or her without a father.

Some people treat having sex as if it is the highest 'good' in life, without considering the moral ramifications. Like we see from other posters, there are women who lose interest in sex in marriage. But for most men who marry, I am pretty sure they have more sex than singles who go to the bar scene. If a man walks up to a girl in a bar and says bluntly, out of the blue, with no warm up, "Let's have sex." if he were extremely good-looking and happened upon a very slutty girl, maybe it could happen. But I could say those words and get some 'action' in a reasonable period of time. So even from the perspective of a man just wanting sex, marriage makes sense.

I think if I had it to do over again, I'd have had a more detailed talk about sex with my wife, telling her I expected it very regularly way off into old age, for her to jump back into the sack after she healed up from pregnancy, that I would need it during stressful times like traveling, moving, etc., trying to cover bases some men experience. For example, some men find their wives say they are old and shouldn't be having a lot of sex, junk like that. I think my wife knows I expect sex into old age, but getting her to make more of a commitment to regular sex prior to marriage (I married a virgin) and kind of reminding her of that early on to let it sink in as something she committed to might be a good idea. The downside of that is you don't want the relationship to be 'contractual' or 'obligatory' since sex is better when they just want to do it because they love you, are attracted to you, etc. If you talk these things through when dating starts to get serious, it might help frame expectations for what is reasonable in marriage and to some extent her behavior afterwards.

Also, someone in the marriage has to 'make the sex happen.' Just saying, "Let's have sex tonight" can work, but a woman also likes to be wooed a bit. Lots of affection, physical contact, eye contact, a bit of flirting, expressing appreciation, etc., can help build her enthusiasm for later.

Personally, I do think sex is a very good thing. But the difference I think lays in that a lot of people who self-identity as "sex positive" are people who think that because something is sexual, it is automatically good. By this line of thinking, no kind of sexual behavior can be judged as bad. Even if a person's sexual behavior means having sex with 30 people a year, cheating during marriage, or indulging in sick "kinks."

Using this same logic, one could say that because ice cream is a good thing, that its also a good thing to smear ice cream onto a dirty table and then lick it off instead of eating it directly from the cone. Just because sex is a good thing does not mean that a certain person's behavior regarding sexuality cannot be bad, dirty, or gross.

I had not thought of discussing with my future wife how much sex I will be expecting during marriage but I think that's a very good idea. I think being affectionate with your wife is just the natural prelude to sex. Going from sitting on the couch, not touching each other to "let's f**k" is a pretty unnatural way to go about it lol and I wouldn't want to do it that way anyway. I've read advice before saying that men's sexuality is like a bomb that immediately goes off while women's sexuality is like a pot that needs to boil lol. Its best to kind of "rev her engine" early in the day before work, and leave her in anticipation so that she'll be more eager once you get home. Or as a basic matter, do "little stuff" throughout the day and then try at night.

[MrMan]

In some of the more traditional cultures, women pick up the idea that the man is the head of the house, that they have to follow his lead, and also hear wives saying that women need to satisfy their man's sexual needs (may be implied a bit.) If these ideas are part of the culture, it goes a long way in helping marriages go well and improving sex lives.

I spent many years in Indonesia. Theirs is a very marriage-minded culture. Even some of the jokes about sex were about newly-weds having a lot of sex. One of the commercials I saw on TV when I got there when I had just started learning the language was for a hot massage cream. A wife was rubbing her husband's shoulders and she said she was tired. He said, "You are tired and I am still stiff like this." As I learned the language, I remembered the commercial and the word I translated 'stiff' did not just refer to stiff muscles. The commercial had a double-entendre. But the two were husband and wife. There were occasional husband-wife double-entendres about sex on TV. But kissing on TV was forbidden.

I had not thought of discussing with my future wife how much sex I will be expecting during marriage but I think that's a very good idea.

IMO, it's a good idea for her to go into marriage expecting she will provide... and receive... a certain level of 'output.' Some women can get upset if their husbands do not provide for their needs in this area also, so it is a two-way street. But women also have selective memories, so reminding her of the commitment in a positive way (e.g. expressing appreciation after marriage for meeting your needs while reminding her of that commitment you both made.) Ideally, either is available whenever the other needs/wants it within some reasonable parameters (breaks for periods, healing up after childbirth, serious illness, etc.)

I think being affectionate with your wife is just the natural prelude to sex. Going from sitting on the couch, not touching each other to "let's f**k" is a pretty unnatural way to go about it lol and I wouldn't want to do it that way anyway. I've read advice before saying that men's sexuality is like a bomb that immediately goes off while women's sexuality is like a pot that needs to boil lol. Its best to kind of "rev her engine" early in the day before work, and leave her in anticipation so that she'll be more eager once you get home. Or as a basic matter, do "little stuff" throughout the day and then try at night.

I don't use the F word, but suggestion followed by sex with little to no kissing happens at times.

[Outcast9428]

But kissing on TV was forbidden.

Unfortunately I think it’s stuff like this that some traditional cultures do that drives people away from supporting traditional lifestyles and mindsets. While I totally believe in monogamy and keeping sex within marriage... Stuff like forbidding kissing on TV is just mindless prudery that serves no purpose. You need to give people a logical reason to be in favor of certain freedoms being restricted and promoting illogical restrictions risks making people lose respect for all the rules.

I feel like no country’s entertainment industry or culture has done a better job of promoting traditional lifestyles than Japan has. Japanese culture believes in monogamy and marriage too but makes it very clear to the casual observer that they are not prudes.