IraqVet2003 wrote:Mentor, I happen to agree with you on this issue. The idea that there are significant numbers of attractive younger Filipinas that desire much older men offers hope to many of us guys who are aged 36 and above who either been divorced or never been married.
LOL let me rephrase for you, at the cost of sounding insolent...
There are significant numbers of poor, uneducated Filipinas who would have no chance of supporting themselves, their kid(s) (if single moms) and their families, unless they found suitable suitors who can instantly turn their lives around and make them financially stable, even able to earn a salary abroad and remit part of it to their loved ones. The
dream is called
a foreigner and, at that stage, it does not really matter if said foreigner is 30, 40 or 60. Decent looking or ugly, fit or morbidly obese. They would
love anyone who is capable to commit to changing their lives and those of their families.
Of course, younger men are naturally more prone to the call of nature, that is, to give in to the temptation of trying out different girls before committing, or after "committing", or even instead of committing! These men are obviously a riskier proposition to these ladies' dream of having exclusive access to the men's ability to support them. That is why, in these cases, older men end up being the better option: more financially stable, less demands in terms of sex, sweeter dads and all-round family members. What's not to like?
Make no mistake guys. These are the kinds of girls who explicitly look for older (40+) men. I am one of these men and I have been in Davao for a time that I believe sufficient to understand
the nature of the beast. I am in no illusion or delusion anymore: these are the hard facts.
It is still possible to bag a cutie who is not explicitly looking for money, which means she (or her family) is implicitly looking for stability and the catch will be more subtle, probably acceptable by most men. Nonetheless, there is always a catch, and it's only a matter of time (or those suspension of belief goggles inadvertently dropping) before you guys get to see it. Not seeing it equates to
not wanting to see it.
My current gf is 24 and fair skinned, undeniably pretty, she won a couple of pageants and was chased by lots of local barangay boys. She says she loves me to bits and she always keeps in touch via Viber despite me being busy, she makes cute references about me on her FB posts. She tries her best to be the kind of committed gf she thinks I am dreaming of.
So where's the catch? She knows (and her mom & pop know) that she will never be able to do anything with her life. She told me, with the mix of candor and nonchalance that only a Filipino can muster (and master), that her parents have been trying to marry her up because she has no job and no plans to have one.
Whether she really loves me for who I am and not for what I can bring to the table, whether she likes me physically, whether there's real chemistry or she's just going through the motions, it's anyone's guess. I bet what I am experiencing would be classified as "love" by 95% of the Western adult foreigners like me, so I just have to follow everyone's advice, suck up and shut up.
Unfortunately, I seem to have lost my naivety for good and it's impossible to be back to la-la land. I will end up letting her go in a few days and perhaps close myself into a more dignified form of solitude. Focus on my work, start a diet and hit the gym a bit more seriously, do some martial arts, maybe. Try to invest in myself, rather than in the illusion/delusion that the girl of my dreams is just round the corner and it's only my fault if I can't see her, or turn that corner. I will try to do exactly what I would have done had I stayed in London, or migrated to Singapore: make some decent money and hope that success and an open wallet might surrogate youth, like so many million stories we read everyday.
The main shiny fact remains that, in order to look for a quality young woman on the field, instead of online, I had to give up the main reason I perhaps stood a chance of finding her: my UK domicile and a decent job that would have had us covered, and then some. I wanted a bit more gold and ended up killing the goose.
My 2 cents...