tjh14 wrote:I have mixed feelings and China is so large that it's tough to generalize. I really like Chinese women and the food and the fact that is is so different but my enthusiasm has waned over the years and it is time to go home and take my wife back to the US of Gay. South and West China are much better than the north; cleaner, friendlier and more laid back. That article was written from a guy living in Changchun, a northern industrial city. It is much better in places like Chengdu, Chongqing and Shenzhen. Yunnan province is great at the foothills of the Himalayas; just fabulous. I am now in dirty Beijing and having to deal with the aggressive northern Chinese men who I have almost fought with on 2 occasions. Rich assholes who will run over you if you aren't careful. It's affecting my perspective. I was much more optimistic when I lived in SW China.
I totally get that. I was extremely optimistic when I arrived, and my feelings have degraded over the years. I still do, and always will, love the food. I haven't had better anywhere in the world. I usually live in Guizhou province, in beautiful country, with a somewhat laid back atmosphere and pace of life. I sometimes work in Shanghai. Since I ain't looking for women, I like the big city vibe and all the conveniences. Both can be very cool places.
I do, however, find the women to be way to materialistic and money focused, and "keeping up with the Joneses" seems to be a huge problem here, largely because of face. I also find them to be too confrontational, often seeming to like to disagree just for the sake of disagreeing and finding something to fight about. Also, this "tiger mom" type of reverse psychology they employ can get on my nerves. How they treat their children is even worse. On the other hand, I am a foreigner and some of these things are cultural. Clearly, people here don't see it that way and don't have a problem with it. I often see two women raising their voices and talking fast and I think they are fighting, but they actually aren't. I often think my wife is treating someone like shit, but that person seems happy to keep coming back and hanging out with her, so it must just be my misinterpretation.
There are other big issues which have destroyed my feelings for this place though.
I do internet business. I am just sick and tired of the pitiful internet services here. Most locals will never notice it because they only visit Chinese sites. This is fine. You can stream HD video in realtime on a phone and it's all good. My business requires 90% connection to outside sites.Thus, I also need a VPN for just about everything
. Even if I get super fast 20Mbps service, it may work as advertised inside China and at 4:00 AM, but connecting to foreign sites and during primetime evening hours it is literally unusable
. I do most of my work in the middle of the night now.
The hassles with visas make me feel they really just don't want me here. I don't teach, so I don't have a school to do this stuff for me. I don't work for a large company that could probably easily handle such things. I am largely independent. Even being married to a local is no guarantee because, in the end, it is largely up to the officer you happen to be standing in front of when you present your papers. Even with my friend, who owns a small to mid-sized company in Shanghai, helping me, the amount of hassle is outrageous, and I will probably have to waste time and money flying to HK and back for the second time since I have been here. My visa expires this month. If I successfully handle it, it will be for the last
time, and then I am done.
I won't be taking my wife and kid back to USA though. Especially, not this week, as I think some of Taco's stuff will
happen, though to what level I don't know. I would rather keep them somewhere in Asia. I would love to move to Philippines, but since relations between China and Phils are so bad, that wouldn't be good for my wife. Singapore would be good for everyone, but once again, I wouldn't be working for some big company, so visa issues would abound. Korea would work for me, but I don't know how it would be for her visa wise. I still have to find the right place.
“Booty is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of booty in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan