Happier Abroad Forum Community

Ok guys (and gals)

I have been living in Metro Manila for 2 months now and I am slowly but surely starting to get a clearer picture of, basically, what mess I put myself into. As some of you might remember I am in my early 30s, an Italian national, working at a 5-star hotel in Pasay (you can guess what, there's not that many!) as an executive chef.

I have kind of the soft spots for Asian and, why hide it, I also have a high sex drive. Some of my workmates in Italy and the UK nevere stopped banging about how easy it is to have girls in the Philippines. Quantity AND quality, that was their predicament. A good number of hotels paying $2,000 for a good foreign chef (that's more than I used to make in Italy), exotic beaches a quick low-cost flight away and lots and lots of cute girls available for one-night-stands, serious relationships and anything in between. It just couldn't get better than that, could it?

In fact, it could get a lot worse.

I was actually lucky because I got a good job offer working with a Manager I met in the UK, so dating/girls became an afterthought. I registered myself with FilipinoCupid and DateInAsia before flying here but never did any serious scouting.

Once here I started to look around, online and offline, and honestly I got more disappointed by the day.

In short, yes, there is quantity but quality...nah. The Filipinas I met online were all 5s and 6s, perhaps two who could qualify as 7s ("butterfaces" with big breasts/nice bodies). I had sex with all of them within the first couple of dates, no questions asked. All of them but 2 (one of whom had a bf!) wanted to carry on with me but I didn't feel like becoming more serious since I knew that they just hadn't it: they were slutty, or as thick as planks, or both. I always remained within the boundaries or politeness but made it clear I didn't see more. They all seemed to understand and left me alone at the first mutual occasion.

What kind of experiences did you guys get? I am curious!

hypermak wrote: ↑

November 12th, 2019, 9:29 am

Ok guys (and gals)

I have been living in Metro Manila for 2 months now and I am slowly but surely starting to get a clearer picture of, basically, what mess I put myself into. As some of you might remember I am in my early 30s, an Italian national, working at a 5-star hotel in Pasay (you can guess what, there's not that many!) as an executive chef.

Be careful what you post. Your identity is only thinly veiled here. Someone who lives there might figure out who you are.

In short, yes, there is quantity but quality...nah. The Filipinas I met online were all 5s and 6s, perhaps two who could qualify as 7s ("butterfaces" with big breasts/nice bodies). I had sex with all of them within the first couple of dates, no questions asked. All of them but 2 (one of whom had a bf!) wanted to carry on with me but I didn't feel like becoming more serious since I knew that they just hadn't it: they were slutty, or as thick as planks, or both. I always remained within the boundaries or politeness but made it clear I didn't see more. They all seemed to understand and left me alone at the first mutual occasion.

The idea that a girl should be a virgin on her wedding night is widely held in the Philippines, and if she doesn't hold out, she wants to marry the first man she sleeps with. But I have read several posts about Filippinas sleeping with posters right off. So I am wondering what the situation is like over there. Could it be:

1. Theoretically virginity on the wedding night is prized, but just in theory and not often practiced.
2. More city girls are virgins no their wedding nights and a lot of city girls are slutty.
3. The girls who date expats tend to be the slutty ones.
4. These girls may think an expat may end up marrying them if they give up their virginity.
4. Expats who report these things tend to hang out in 'meat market' type clubs or pick up bar girls at places that are hubs for prostitution.

Maybe there is another scenario. I've never been to the Philippines. I've lived in Indonesia. Virginity is expected much more there than it is in the US, but I hear there are bars one can go to pick up women for sex. This may be quasi-prostitution arrangements where the man gives the woman some excessive cab fair.

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 12th, 2019, 12:27 pm

The idea that a girl should be a virgin on her wedding night is widely held in the Philippines, and if she doesn't hold out, she wants to marry the first man she sleeps with. But I have read several posts about Filippinas sleeping with posters right off. So I am wondering what the situation is like over there. Could it be:

1. Theoretically virginity on the wedding night is prized, but just in theory and not often practiced.
2. More city girls are virgins no their wedding nights and a lot of city girls are slutty.
3. The girls who date expats tend to be the slutty ones.
4. These girls may think an expat may end up marrying them if they give up their virginity.
4. Expats who report these things tend to hang out in 'meat market' type clubs or pick up bar girls at places that are hubs for prostitution.

Maybe there is another scenario. I've never been to the Philippines. I've lived in Indonesia. Virginity is expected much more there than it is in the US, but I hear there are bars one can go to pick up women for sex. This may be quasi-prostitution arrangements where the man gives the woman some excessive cab fair.

I can't make an informed comment as I have only been here for a short time but, so far, I haven't found this to be the case. Perhaps some upper class girls of more traditional background (as I think Chinese-Filipinos might be) will have been pressured to stay virgin until marriage, or at least until the end of their college years.

The really, and I mean really traditional women I found were in Malta. Malta is a deeply Catholic-conservative country (it basically started out as a fortified island inhabited by "holy" knights) and you can tell most girls aren't even talking about sex until after marriage. Admittingly, it's also home to some of the ugliest women I have ever seen, too. But that's another story...

About your 5 points, I had a few beers with some of my Filipino workmates and they all said girls are far from conservative nowadays. Yes, they might put out in the hope their man will take them more seriously and commit to them. One of them even admitted that he had a young and rather conservative gf and had to work hard for a few months to convince her to have sex.

I asked what his key moment was and he said it was when he repeatedly met her parents and helped them with some chores (a traditional sign of commitment over here). She probably thought he was being seriously committed. He looks to me like the type who sleeps around but don't want to pre-judge. She is gorgeous (he showed me the pics) and kind of deserves to have a non-asshole bf.

About expats dating slutty girls, I guess it's down t what they are looking for. I am young and came here to have some fun. I won't exclude the idea of settling down with a girl who gives me everything I need (and want) and, in the meantime, I see nothing wrong with exploring.

People told me girls met online tend to be the more desperate lot, girls who will basically give sex to anyone because they need a partner, for one reason or another. Single moms in need for support come to mind. Or more mature women in their 30s who feel they're past their selling date and need to move quickly. Same patterns as in Western countries I guess.

Now the question is: how does a foreigner like me get to meet the non-desperate ones? That, I am yet to find out

In Indonesia, there were girls working at bars and things like that, and the typical problem of some of the girls going to the city and losing their virginity. But it seemed like virginity was prized and expected (for both male and female) at marriage. But it seemed like with expats, there was that subculture of the slutty girls, but also nice girls looking for an expat husband. I was wondering if there was a bit of a stigma attached to expats, that the women who were with them were sleeping with them, or something along those lines.

I had a job offer a year or two ago at an organization in Malta. The salary was lower than the position I was leaving and the one I ended up at after a long wait. But the organization was new, did not know how to budget and had let a lot of people go in spite of their contracts a year earlier. I also heard that Malta was a haven for the mafia, and getting kids in appropriate schools seemed to be an issue based on what I'd read. It appears to be a crowded island with some beautiful date architecture and plenty of picturesque views.

Why were the women unattractive? Are they hefty or just not as nice-looking as their northern neighbors. Maltese is an offshoot of an extinct dialect of Arabic. Are the women of Moorish stock? Maybe Phoenicians mixed with Arabs and Italians.

The knights of Malta kept the Arabs from invading Europe if I remember correctly. Charles Martel of the Franks, Count Dracula, and the Knights of Malta all at different times in history helped keep the Muslims from invading and taking over.

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 13th, 2019, 7:36 pm

In Indonesia, there were girls working at bars and things like that, and the typical problem of some of the girls going to the city and losing their virginity. But it seemed like virginity was prized and expected (for both male and female) at marriage. But it seemed like with expats, there was that subculture of the slutty girls, but also nice girls looking for an expat husband. I was wondering if there was a bit of a stigma attached to expats, that the women who were with them were sleeping with them, or something along those lines.

Do you live in Indonesia? I see. From what I hear it wasn't so different in the Philippines, until a few decades ago. As I said before, in this time and age it probably takes a lot of moral discipline and self-control to remain a virgin until late twenties. Like many, Filipinos might have double standards when it comes to girls: they want a pretty young girl who gets to the altar as a virgin but in the meantime they look for at least one slutty lover to get their juices flowing. Having a cake and eating it, basically.

Unless they are married and on a proper corporate expat job, foreigners will probably always land to a different country with the intention of exploring the dating scene and having fun, for as much as they can or they're allowed to. Aren't the foreigners looking for serious girls to marry those who plan to take their fiancee/bride back to their home countries? Those who decide to spend more than a few weeks in a country are probably tempted to do some "sports fishing" before deciding what catch to take home.

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 13th, 2019, 7:36 pm

I had a job offer a year or two ago at an organization in Malta. The salary was lower than the position I was leaving and the one I ended up at after a long wait. But the organization was new, did not know how to budget and had let a lot of people go in spite of their contracts a year earlier. I also heard that Malta was a haven for the mafia, and getting kids in appropriate schools seemed to be an issue based on what I'd read. It appears to be a crowded island with some beautiful date architecture and plenty of picturesque views.

Why were the women unattractive? Are they hefty or just not as nice-looking as their northern neighbors. Maltese is an offshoot of an extinct dialect of Arabic. Are the women of Moorish stock? Maybe Phoenicians mixed with Arabs and Italians.

The knights of Malta kept the Arabs from invading Europe if I remember correctly. Charles Martel of the Franks, Count Dracula, and the Knights of Malta all at different times in history helped keep the Muslims from invading and taking over.

Oh nice to know you had some Malta experience. I am from Italy so I found Malta kind of a crossover of Southern Italian (Sicilian) and Arabic cultures. I was lucky I was given a small private room in the hotel where I worked, because Valletta is pricey indeed. I agree on the architecture and the streets, they are very nice!

Women-wise, I found most of the local ones short, chubby and with unattractive or nerdy faces. Considering how conservative girls are, it is no surprise many of them dressed conservatively and didn't even bother wearing make up or taking care of their faces. Some of them had a bit too much facial hair that would be a big no-no in Italy and even most liberal Muslim countries like Lebanon.

The good looking ones were usually the seasonal workers from Italy, Greece, Turkey, Morocco etc. Lots of Indians and Pakistanis, mostly men, in the past few years, too.

I think the fact that they are a small community and the locals are basically inbred from the few original families who settled there. So yes, as you say, the descendants of the knights and their servitude. Judging from the surnames, they were Italian, French, Spanish, English, Jewish, and Arabic.

hypermak wrote: ↑

November 13th, 2019, 8:27 pm

Do you live in Indonesia? I see.

Not anymore. I was there in 2018. I have spent much of my adult life there.

Unless they are married and on a proper corporate expat job, foreigners will probably always land to a different country with the intention of exploring the dating scene and having fun, for as much as they can or they're allowed to. Aren't the foreigners looking for serious girls to marry those who plan to take their fiancee/bride back to their home countries? Those who decide to spend more than a few weeks in a country are probably tempted to do some "sports fishing" before deciding what catch to take home.

I worked in Indonesia originally as an expat in indonesia as an English teacher before my current career. I do not give many details about my current career because I have noticed over the years at least a couple of people seemed to have mental problems and a few have been unpleasant, so I like to keep my identity a secret on forums like this. And there are only so many expats in certain fields in a given city.

Oh nice to know you had some Malta experience.

My experience was some kind of online interview, probably with Zoom, back in 2018. They wouldn't offer education to all my kids and the salary was a little low for all the expenses of living abroad. I wasn't getting the expat premium that I got at my Indonesian job.... well I wasn't really being paid a premium except for the car, driver, vacations home. Kids' education puts you on par with the US, then the US government taxes that. It was a so-so package from a risky employer I'd want an expat premium from to agree to work for.

I would have liked to have been flown over for an interview. I don't know that i would have had the time to leave my job in Jakarta at the time. But that sounds like it would have been fun. I was offered a job without going there. I had another one in the work that seemed less risky, but it turns out it was because it did not pan out even though I had an offer letter.

I did not sample the local Indonesian merchandise sexually speaking as a young man because I am a Christian. I did sample and feast after I married my wife, of course. She was a virgin. That's about as low a risk option you can get for marriage, a Christian virgin who is active in church-- all low risk factors for divorce I would study later-- who comes from a culture that has some expectation that men are supposed to lead in the home. Her culture is a bit outspoken and spunky for an Indonesian culture, but the fortrightness makes navigating the whole foreign relationship thing easier, probably, than it is with the less direct Javanese or some of the other tribes there.

Women-wise, I found most of the local ones short, chubby and with unattractive or nerdy faces.

Most women do not have attractive faces. The 3 to 10 percent who have attractive faces stand out and we remember that. But if a large percentage are chubby, that certainly affects the percentage of attractive ones.

I spent a year in South Korea. It seemed like they had maybe 3% of young women in the 9+ range, but lots and lots of 7s for beauty walking around, at least in Seoul They tended to be thin and well-dress and a lot of them took good care of their skin. A reasonably large percentage of Chinese seem to be attractive, too. But it seemed like rather than 5 to 8% that seemed physically attractive in northern Asia, in indonesia, it seemed more like 2 or 4% of young women were attractive according to my tastes. The Malay look just did not appeal to me as much. But that is subjective. Indonesians tend to be curvier than northern Asians, and some men really go for that. Among that small percent, some of the women were quite stunning. I met a woman I found attractive who had the kind of character and values I was looking for. If the overall population of women isn't as good-looking, there certain individuals who might be.

Considering how conservative girls are, it is no surprise many of them dressed conservatively and didn't even bother wearing make up or taking care of their faces. Some of them had a bit too much facial hair that would be a big no-no in Italy and even most liberal Muslim countries like Lebanon.

What do Italian women do with the facial hair?

Native Lebanese are from a different ethnic stock than Arabs. Unless the Maltese are related through the Phoenicians, they could be more related to Arabs than Lebanese. But Arab people have overtaken Lebanon and had lots of children in recent decades.

The good looking ones were usually the seasonal workers from Italy, Greece, Turkey, Morocco etc. Lots of Indians and Pakistanis, mostly men, in the past few years, too.

I think the fact that they are a small community and the locals are basically inbred from the few original families who settled there. So yes, as you say, the descendants of the knights and their servitude. Judging from the surnames, they were Italian, French, Spanish, English, Jewish, and Arabic.

Btw, were the original Knights of Malta Hospitallers who were supposed to be celibate?

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 2:59 pm

I worked in Indonesia originally as an expat in indonesia as an English teacher before my current career. I do not give many details about my current career because I have noticed over the years at least a couple of people seemed to have mental problems and a few have been unpleasant, so I like to keep my identity a secret on forums like this. And there are only so many expats in certain fields in a given city.

I see. I have never been to Indonesia, apart from a short trip to Bali, which - they told me - is one of the least representative spots in Indonesia due to predominance of Hindu culture.

Yes, good idea to be discreet. A number of members here live in the Philippines. I might meet one or two at some point, but I want to be sure they are not the mental types you describe

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 2:59 pm

My experience was some kind of online interview, probably with Zoom, back in 2018. They wouldn't offer education to all my kids and the salary was a little low for all the expenses of living abroad. I wasn't getting the expat premium that I got at my Indonesian job.... well I wasn't really being paid a premium except for the car, driver, vacations home. Kids' education puts you on par with the US, then the US government taxes that. It was a so-so package from a risky employer I'd want an expat premium from to agree to work for.

I would have liked to have been flown over for an interview. I don't know that i would have had the time to leave my job in Jakarta at the time. But that sounds like it would have been fun. I was offered a job without going there. I had another one in the work that seemed less risky, but it turns out it was because it did not pan out even though I had an offer letter.

There's a strong Arabic mentality in Malta, people like to haggle down to the bone, even when they know the deal is pretty good and they are taking the unnecessary risk that the deal will slip through.

The best jobs to have in Malta are in finance: there is a good number of small private banks, international betting companies. I personally know a few people who are independent brokers and traders and live a very good life in Malta. Nice beachfront villas or condo-villas, easy access to good food, good weather all year around etc.

Too bad it's getting expensive, and a bit too overcrowded with the recent migrant waves from South Asia.

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 2:59 pm

I did not sample the local Indonesian merchandise sexually speaking as a young man because I am a Christian. I did sample and feast after I married my wife, of course. She was a virgin. That's about as low a risk option you can get for marriage, a Christian virgin who is active in church-- all low risk factors for divorce I would study later-- who comes from a culture that has some expectation that men are supposed to lead in the home. Her culture is a bit outspoken and spunky for an Indonesian culture, but the fortrightness makes navigating the whole foreign relationship thing easier, probably, than it is with the less direct Javanese or some of the other tribes there.

I see. A Christian Indonesian girl, that sounds interesting!

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 2:59 pm

Most women do not have attractive faces. The 3 to 10 percent who have attractive faces stand out and we remember that. But if a large percentage are chubby, that certainly affects the percentage of attractive ones.

I spent a year in South Korea. It seemed like they had maybe 3% of young women in the 9+ range, but lots and lots of 7s for beauty walking around, at least in Seoul They tended to be thin and well-dress and a lot of them took good care of their skin. A reasonably large percentage of Chinese seem to be attractive, too. But it seemed like rather than 5 to 8% that seemed physically attractive in northern Asia, in indonesia, it seemed more like 2 or 4% of young women were attractive according to my tastes. The Malay look just did not appeal to me as much. But that is subjective. Indonesians tend to be curvier than northern Asians, and some men really go for that. Among that small percent, some of the women were quite stunning. I met a woman I found attractive who had the kind of character and values I was looking for. If the overall population of women isn't as good-looking, there certain individuals who might be.

That's what seems to be the case in South Korea. I would be a bit wary about the fakeness of it all, though. I hear they have a very advanced "cosmetic enhancement" industry. They have plasters that you apply on your neck and around your face and are invisible once you apply make-up. You can basically contour your face to whatever shape you want. Of course "the morning after" is another story LOL

Malay are a different race and have different beauty features. They genetically tend to be slim and slender (although many Filipinas are not, because of their crappy diet from a young age). I personally like the full lips, the big eyes and the lush tanned skin. Again, beauty canons are subjective.

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 2:59 pm

What do Italian women do with the facial hair?

Native Lebanese are from a different ethnic stock than Arabs. Unless the Maltese are related through the Phoenicians, they could be more related to Arabs than Lebanese. But Arab people have overtaken Lebanon and had lots of children in recent decades.

The good looking ones were usually the seasonal workers from Italy, Greece, Turkey, Morocco etc. Lots of Indians and Pakistanis, mostly men, in the past few years, too.

LOL there is a running joke about southern Italians being hairier. I was referring to the fact that many Maltese girls don't really take care of their exterior aspect, which might involve epilating and removing some facial hair around the ears and above their upper lip. I put it down to them leading a conservative, simple life.

Having said that, there are some stunning exceptions. One of our of beauty icons of the 70's, Edwige Fenech, was of part-Maltese origins.

MrMan wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 2:59 pm

Btw, were the original Knights of Malta Hospitallers who were supposed to be celibate?

I think so. But you know how it is hehe... And anyway every knight probably had hundreds of servitude around.

hypermak wrote: ↑

November 14th, 2019, 7:30 pm

The best jobs to have in Malta are in finance: there is a good number of small private banks, international betting companies. I personally know a few people who are independent brokers and traders and live a very good life in Malta. Nice beachfront villas or condo-villas, easy access to good food, good weather all year around etc.

I read there is a lot of mafia activity, too.

I spent a year in South Korea. It seemed like they had maybe 3% of young women in the 9+ range, but lots and lots of 7s for beauty walking around, at least in Seoul They tended to be thin and well-dress and a lot of them took good care of their skin. A reasonably large percentage of Chinese seem to be attractive, too. But it seemed like rather than 5 to 8% that seemed physically attractive in northern Asia, in indonesia, it seemed more like 2 or 4% of young women were attractive according to my tastes. The Malay look just did not appeal to me as much. But that is subjective. Indonesians tend to be curvier than northern Asians, and some men really go for that. Among that small percent, some of the women were quite stunning. I met a woman I found attractive who had the kind of character and values I was looking for. If the overall population of women isn't as good-looking, there certain individuals who might be.

That's what seems to be the case in South Korea. I would be a bit wary about the fakeness of it all, though. I hear they have a very advanced "cosmetic enhancement" industry. They have plasters that you apply on your neck and around your face and are invisible once you apply make-up. You can basically contour your face to whatever shape you want. Of course "the morning after" is another story LOL

I was there in the mid-90's. I doubt the college girls had much 'help' back then. I have heard what you said about Koreans and plastic surgery. Fake body parts don't really appeal to me.

LOL there is a running joke about southern Italians being hairier. I was referring to the fact that many Maltese girls don't really take care of their exterior aspect, which might involve epilating and removing some facial hair around the ears and above their upper lip. I put it down to them leading a conservative, simple life.

The inhabitants of Sicily would at least be partly descended from Arabic-speaking peoples, too right? Maybe Arabs, or possible north Africans.

I had a Kuwaiti classmate (male) in college who had hair not only growing out of his nose, but off the tip of his nose, too. I'm fairly hairy, but this guy was really hairy.

Having said that, there are some stunning exceptions. One of our of beauty icons of the 70's, Edwige Fenech, was of part-Maltese origins.

Yes, she looks pretty.

If the first batch of servants the Knights of Malta brought back from the middle east were actual Arabs, then many of the Maltese may be part Arab. But Arabic civilization had swallowed up a lot of people-groups and renamed them 'Arab' and weren't all Ishmaelites and those other tribes of the penninsula.