MrMan wrote: ↑July 5th, 2020, 10:50 am
A lot of Indonesian Christian girls will not even consider a divorced man, and more power to them. Some of the Muslims don't care as much since it is not an issue in their religion. Sundanese have a lot of divorce in their people-group, too.
At least you have civil divorce in Indonesia. In the Philippines divorce isn't even possible and there's a large number of men and women who become live-in partners of "separated" women and men, where "separated" effectively means they are still married and practicing adultery.
Of course not all men who pursue Asian girls, Filipina or Indonesian, are adult divorcees. As in your case, you found a quality young woman and she was in the same status as you: young, unmarried, a life ahead of them.
MrMan wrote: ↑July 5th, 2020, 10:50 am
I'm not sure if Indonesians are darker on average. The ones I worked with in the city tended to be fairer skinned, but they tended to keep indoors. My wife got a noticeable tan once when we were first married after walking around in the market. She stays relatively light skinned, kind of olive complected. She wears hats, stays out of the sun, wears skin creams, etc.
I think you phrased it more correctly. It's always a mix of natural skin tone and exposure to sun. From what I have noticed Indonesians do tend to be darker skinned than Filipinas. Obviously there is no way to know how much of a fairer skin tone comes from genetics, sun protection and even cosmetic procedures.
The important thing is to appreciate beauty in every colour
And then inner beauty, which doesn't even have a colour.
MrMan wrote: ↑July 4th, 2020, 8:29 am
My mom was thin and pretty during my developing years, and the idea of being with a fat woman repulsed me. But that's a population of 1 I am considering, not the whole population.
...
Maybe so, but it seems like a lot of men either are more strongly attracted to women I consider unattractive or are willing to settle for them. A man might see a thin, pretty model and think she is pretty, but on a subconscious level like a fat, less attractive woman, like his mother.
My mother was thin and had 'model' looks when she was young and I was in my formative years, so I was stuck only being attracted to certain types of women. But my mom is not Asian, so it didn't extend to race, and my wife does not resemble my mother in the face. I didn't insist on a top-heavy woman, either.
I did wonder in high school why some of the boys would go with girls that seemed unattractive to me-- thick necks, fat arms, and other features I didn't care for. People have their own individual tastes. I notice I am not attracted to a woman if her chin is too big. Maybe I perceive it as a masculine feature. But if my mom or other women I spent a lot of time around as a child had big chins, maybe my perceptions would have been different.
There are lots of reasons why a man is attracted to a woman. If you see men who have already chosen a woman who doesn't seem particularly attractive, it means they will have already enjoyed whatever qualities beyond "standard" beauty canons she might have to offer. Not sure about your experience but I wouldn't discount chemistry and sex, for example.
It's quite common among young people, that the young stud will have to choose between a prettier but more conservative girl who would looks a great match to him, and the school slut who doesn't look much but had some sex experience and knows how to please a boy. And it's classic that he choose the latter in the end
Other qualities might be intellectual, sense of humour, ease of dealing with them, and more. All stuff that is not really apparent when you see a girl from afar or on a picture, without really getting to know her.
I personally feel I would like to settle down with a woman who resembles my mom, but more at the personality and moral quality level, rather than physical. I have a soft spot for middle eastern and Asian looking women and my mom was fair skinned dark blonde, so not much of a match with my dates.
) but from the information gleaned from the posts on here, he's a single father with a daughter?
