The Culture Shock and Intercultural Conflicts.
Posted: December 1st, 2021, 9:01 pm
The PH is triangular culture. It has an Anglo-American element with its English language, its US-like educational and legal system, and it has the Spanish element with its Hispanic Catholicism, emotionalism and romanticism. But it also has the SE Asian/Indo-Chinese/Malay element.
Westerners feel very much at home with the Anglo-American and the Hispanic element. This is why they prefer the PH to, say, Thailand or VN. "Filipinos speak English and understand me. They are also emotional people, and those other SE Asians are too reserved and too cold. And Filipinos are Christians, so we believe in the same God" .
However, Westerners start having cultural clashes when they come up against the Malay/ SE Asian element. In that, Filipinos act very similarly to their SE Asian neighbors. What are those things that shock the " Joe"?
Social harmony and conflict avoidance are paramount. Filipinos do not like confrontations, long arguments, and they just like to get along and live in peace.
Is it bad? No, not bad, but many Westerners feel that they are very indirect, do not say "No", and also conceal things that might hurt you. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
" You know, now that we are about to get married, I must tell you something".
" What is it?"
" My doctor told me that I cannot have kids. "
" Why' re you telling me only now - after two years of courtship?!"
" I did not want to hurt your feelings."
The Joe freaks out and starts yelling. He calls off the wedding. He feels he just wasted two years of his life.
So, while lying is seen as bad in all cultures, concealment is not lying and its status as a sin is vague.
2. Face culture. Basically, it means avoiding embarrassment and looking less smart, poorer, or in any way bad in front of others. And they will also not wish this for you.
Is it bad? No, again, not bad. But it means you should really avoid debates with most Filipinos. They do not have the same years of training in logical challenges. Just agree, smile and enjoy. Praise him regardless. So, what happens if you don't?
" The man told me that most words in Tagalog came from Spanish. But this is not correct. Only 20-33% of Tagalog has Spanish words. Most means over 50%. How can he say that? So, I told him he was wrong and I showed him the stats. Now, he hates me. Why? "
Next time, smile and agree. Do not argue. Or they will call you a 'filosofo" , a "smart alec".
3) Gossiping. In Thailand and other SE Asian countries, it is seen as perfectly normal to make comments about a person when they are not around, and even when they are within an ear's distance. So, you see a smiling face, but when you turn around, they will say something that is really not their business. " Oh, he's so fat, he's so old and very short! Why is he so short?" You are not aware of it happening, so you think everybody is so nice because they are smiling at you.
Is it bad? To them, it's not. It's just idle talk.
4) A much slower, accepting way of life. Just let things roll on slow.
A Westerner wants to get things done now, but a Filipino follows the old Indic style time. Everything is way more relaxed.
" Is it finished?"
"Not yet".
" But you told me to come at 3 PM to pick it up! It's 3 PM now! "
" Oh you're so strict!"
" Never mind strict! I need to go here and there and now I have to wait! When will it be ready?"
" Later" ( mamaya)
" When later? "
5) Kindness, forgiveness, softness, tolerance. Forgiving other people's mistakes. This is Hindu-Buddhist.
" You made a mistake! You wrote my name wrong! Now I cannot use this ticket! "
" Oh, don't be angry! You also make mistakes, no?"
" Never mind angry! I am paying you for this! What did you do? You issued me a ticket under another name!"
The Westerner is riling but the local cannot see why he is making such a big deal out of it. Nobody is perfect.
There are many other SE Asian cultural traits that a Westerner starts running into, and it is this part of the Philippine culture that takes the most time to adjust to and causes the most culture shock.
Westerners feel very much at home with the Anglo-American and the Hispanic element. This is why they prefer the PH to, say, Thailand or VN. "Filipinos speak English and understand me. They are also emotional people, and those other SE Asians are too reserved and too cold. And Filipinos are Christians, so we believe in the same God" .
However, Westerners start having cultural clashes when they come up against the Malay/ SE Asian element. In that, Filipinos act very similarly to their SE Asian neighbors. What are those things that shock the " Joe"?
Social harmony and conflict avoidance are paramount. Filipinos do not like confrontations, long arguments, and they just like to get along and live in peace.
Is it bad? No, not bad, but many Westerners feel that they are very indirect, do not say "No", and also conceal things that might hurt you. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
" You know, now that we are about to get married, I must tell you something".
" What is it?"
" My doctor told me that I cannot have kids. "
" Why' re you telling me only now - after two years of courtship?!"
" I did not want to hurt your feelings."
The Joe freaks out and starts yelling. He calls off the wedding. He feels he just wasted two years of his life.
So, while lying is seen as bad in all cultures, concealment is not lying and its status as a sin is vague.
2. Face culture. Basically, it means avoiding embarrassment and looking less smart, poorer, or in any way bad in front of others. And they will also not wish this for you.
Is it bad? No, again, not bad. But it means you should really avoid debates with most Filipinos. They do not have the same years of training in logical challenges. Just agree, smile and enjoy. Praise him regardless. So, what happens if you don't?
" The man told me that most words in Tagalog came from Spanish. But this is not correct. Only 20-33% of Tagalog has Spanish words. Most means over 50%. How can he say that? So, I told him he was wrong and I showed him the stats. Now, he hates me. Why? "
Next time, smile and agree. Do not argue. Or they will call you a 'filosofo" , a "smart alec".
3) Gossiping. In Thailand and other SE Asian countries, it is seen as perfectly normal to make comments about a person when they are not around, and even when they are within an ear's distance. So, you see a smiling face, but when you turn around, they will say something that is really not their business. " Oh, he's so fat, he's so old and very short! Why is he so short?" You are not aware of it happening, so you think everybody is so nice because they are smiling at you.
Is it bad? To them, it's not. It's just idle talk.
4) A much slower, accepting way of life. Just let things roll on slow.
A Westerner wants to get things done now, but a Filipino follows the old Indic style time. Everything is way more relaxed.
" Is it finished?"
"Not yet".
" But you told me to come at 3 PM to pick it up! It's 3 PM now! "
" Oh you're so strict!"
" Never mind strict! I need to go here and there and now I have to wait! When will it be ready?"
" Later" ( mamaya)
" When later? "
5) Kindness, forgiveness, softness, tolerance. Forgiving other people's mistakes. This is Hindu-Buddhist.
" You made a mistake! You wrote my name wrong! Now I cannot use this ticket! "
" Oh, don't be angry! You also make mistakes, no?"
" Never mind angry! I am paying you for this! What did you do? You issued me a ticket under another name!"
The Westerner is riling but the local cannot see why he is making such a big deal out of it. Nobody is perfect.
There are many other SE Asian cultural traits that a Westerner starts running into, and it is this part of the Philippine culture that takes the most time to adjust to and causes the most culture shock.