Where next? Help me choose which city

[castlebasetone]

In order of importance, with most important at the top, here is what I am hoping to find :

1. Good daygame response that leads to dating / sex without long courting
2. Plentiful 7+ asian babes (so probably not too small of a town)
3. Low cost of living
4. Sunny swimmable beach vibes
5. Walkable / Bicycle friendly town (no need for motorbike or car)
6. Art / Music / Hipster Café scene

My goal is to live a relaxed, creative lifestyle in a pleasant environment and hopefully find a stable relationship, but enjoy quality connections & sex in the meantime, I am not doing any P4P and would rather not have to rely on bars & clubs to meet girls. So if I can have 1, 2 & 3 without the beach, I will survive.

I am ~40 yo, decent looking, successful, outgoing and fit with goals & projects to work on.

Not that it matters much, because I don't want to deal with winter but I love light skinned Mongolian, Korean & Chinese type girls if I had my pick.

So far I've done :

Kuala Lampur
Penang
Cebu

I will write full trip reports later but suffice to say, none of these have fit the bill. The women have been stand-offish and a royal pain in the ass, barely better than New York, and the cities less than desirable.

[Jackfruits]

1. Good daygame response that leads to dating / sex without long courting - so need unspoilt city without many foreigners
2. Plentiful 7+ asian babes (so probably not too small of a town) - you want a big city
3. Low cost of living - need village for this
4. Sunny swimmable beach vibes - you want a clean beach and no pollution
5. Walkable / Bicycle friendly town (no need for motorbike or car) - that means either village or non-urbanized area
6. Art / Music / Hipster Café scene - metropolis needed

impossible combination
1. phuket; smaller and lots of tourists if no covid
2. maybe china when it opens up again as foreigners haven't been allowed so long
3. cheap is pretty much nowhere unless you go into villages

whats cheap life for you? for me cheap life is $2500/3000 a month

[Cornfed]

If such a place existed, everyone would rush there and it would turn to crap.

[castlebasetone]

I hate to say it but is Bali not far off from this? Perhaps minus the plentiful date-able asian babes? I'm thinking outside of the main Austrailian chad tourist areas, like Ubud etc? I am just assuming here...

[Yohan]

So far I've done :
Kuala Lampur
Penang
Cebu
I will write full trip reports later but suffice to say, none of these have fit the bill. The women have been stand-offish and a royal pain in the ass, barely better than New York, and the cities less than desirable.

Malaysia is for sure not such a cheap place if you mention Penang and Kuala Lumpur, and it is expensive there to qualify for a long-term visa and to buy real estate. SecondHomeMalaysia offers are only good for rich people with large families (India, Saudi Arabia etc.)

However if you tell me that in Cebu in the Philippines

'women have been stand-offish and a royal pain in the ass, barely better than New York'

then sorry, I don't know what to say... I have no idea which city I could recommend for you...

Also keep in mind that many countries in Asia welcome tourists, but are rather reluctant to offer visa for long-stay.

[Jackfruits]

I hate to say it but is Bali not far off from this? Perhaps minus the plentiful date-able asian babes? I'm thinking outside of the main Austrailian chad tourist areas, like Ubud etc? I am just assuming here...

Indonesia where Islam is strong and where premarital sex is now an official crime, good luck

[Jackfruits]

how rich successful are you?

[rainbanx]

My top choice for you is Philippines.

[castlebasetone]

Indonesia where Islam is strong and where premarital sex is now an official crime, good luck

Yes, the new law is years away from taking effect so not sure that is really affecting the dating game there as of yet. And reports I've heard are that Indonesian girls are perhaps more eager than Philippines to have a foreigner boyfriend.

[castlebasetone]

how rich successful are you?

I have a decent savings but like you, flashing wealth is not my game. I was a well known performer in New York and around the States. So if I don't get an immediate rejection, and start some friendly conversation, then I tell all of the girls this right up front in a non-braggy way to put them at ease at bit and eventually show them videos of me on stage in front of crowds of young girls having fun, and if I get the chance photos of me with celebrities I've worked alongside, so they immediately can see that at least I'm not some creepy random stranger.

You would think this kind of social proof would have some effect that would at least trigger a thought like "Damn I don't often meet interesting guys like this from NYC often, maybe I should at least get coffee and hear him out" but instead it usually it amounts to "That's cool, I gotta go meet my friends for milk tea, good luck Mr. Famous Foreigner!"

A few times I've responded in a light hearted smiling way to try to investigate where their nonchalance in coming from :

Me: "Wow how often do you meet guys like me?"
Her: "Never, you are the only one really"
Me: "Don't you think it would be worth grabbing coffee sometime soon then?"
Her: "Nah I'm really busy with work & stuff and I don't have time"

This is no better than NYC or anywhere else. Yes I have gotten random lays here a bunch of times with 5s & 6s, same as overseas, but overall the goal of upgrading my response from high quality women is just not there in Malaysia or Cebu. And as I've read in other posts, this is largely the case with decent young guys looking for 7+ girlfriends post-covid 2022.

I need to write a more detailed report.

@Yohan

[castlebasetone]

Malaysia is for sure not such a cheap place if you mention Penang and Kuala Lumpur, and it is expensive there to qualify for a long-term visa and to buy real estate. SecondHomeMalaysia offers are only good for rich people with large families (India, Saudi Arabia etc.)

However if you tell me that in Cebu in the Philippines

'women have been stand-offish and a royal pain in the ass, barely better than New York'

then sorry, I don't know what to say... I have no idea which city I could recommend for you...

Also keep in mind that many countries in Asia welcome tourists, but are rather reluctant to offer visa for long-stay.

In regards to Malaysia, I easily found apartments and even houses under $400 USD / month in Penang. Food was dirt cheap. Condos in KL in that price range are easy to come by as well. There is also a new 1-2 year digital nomad visa and Malaysia is actively trying to compete in this game. The art & music scene there was definitely coming up, and I think in 5 years it will be a hot spot - BUT the dating was no more than one slight notch better than the west. The 7+ girls in shopping malls were absolute cunts. 5s and 6s sometimes available, mostly not. Online dating, more plentiful matches, but equal amounts of flakiness as ever, VERY little follow through. If the dating was smoother in Malaysia, I actually would have liked it quite a bit.

All I can say for Cebu is that it is a little easier with the low quality girls. But the city is far less cool than Malaysia. It's a place where a desperate man has a better chance at finding some kind of companion but not necessarily where a quality man has a better chance at pairing with a quality woman, perhaps even less so than most places because there really aren't many here. I tagged you in another reply in this thread which explains a bit more. The vibe I get is that the dating market has drastically changed as it has everywhere due to Tik Tok, Tinder, Onlyfans, Instagram, etc....

[castlebasetone]

My top choice for you is Philippines.

I am heading to Manila next week and maybe Baguio & Angeles while I am up there before giving up on it and going to another country.

I should add that YES - if you stay in PH long enough, you will probably EVENTUALLY find your needle in a haystack girl, but the whole point of me leaving NYC was to stop playing the 'needle in a haystack' game and put myself in a place where high quality women are just generally more receptive to a quality foreigner. You can tell pretty quickly after daygaming / nightgaming / online gaming if that is the case or not in any location. Apparantly, it USED to be like that here, not quite anymore...

[Jackfruits]

If im brutally honest to myself i realized today that PH is not the best destination to find a wife, as my plans are longer term more focused in Thailand where I can eat restaurant food without dhiarrea and can accept public transport system and where I like the normal people more and are less likely to annoy myself of the pollution which is in big PH cities much worse than big cities in the west. Cebu city is much more polluted than the slums/banlieue of Paris, really disgusting dirty.

If I see myself living more permanently is more likely a city in Thailand outside of bangkok (too much smog which make me cough nonstop). Maybe a beach city of Vietnam is also possible but food hygiene in Vietnam is not good. Local women in these cities that speak English are not relationship material and needs learning local language.

If I would choose a long term destination for myself more likely;

thailand: like it more, cheaper asian country with good infrastructure, women are more difficult and less interested in foreigners especially good girls

- Phuket
$500-750/m is okay apartment
less food choices, less population, need tourism to meet more women but nice beaches and clean life

- outskirts city of BKK
$250-750/m is okay apartment, less smog, clean food, cheap life


Vietnam: less english than thailand, women are even more difficult and even less interested in foreigners especially good girls

- Da nang
low hygiene in restaurants, no english/language barrier, get the foreigner stare from locals, $300-500 apartment is good

IF you found a good girl anywhere in the world going with her to one of these destinations is good. IF you want to find a girl there I would guess living in the outskirts of BKK is better as you can take the MRT/BTS to the center.

[castlebasetone]

@Jackfruits
IF you found a good girl anywhere in the world going with her to one of these destinations is good. IF you want to find a girl there I would guess living in the outskirts of BKK is better as you can take the MRT/BTS to the center.

This is great summary and I think we're on a similar wavelength about goals, appreciate it.

Have you tried Manila yet?

I am here now and actually enjoying the city itself more than anywhere else I've seen yet.

The only drawbacks in Manila I see as of now are that :

1) my type of normal girl (stylish / cultured / east asian hipster vibe) is quite rare here and when i do meet them, they aren't open or receptive, still opting for their young asian chad counterparts from their friend circle

2) there is no beach

3) public transport is not great (but grab / railway is there and streets are fairly well maintained & bike-able)

[Jackfruits]

1; you are better off in NYC or Russia, stylish hipster poor girls are non-existent in asia if not a golddigger insta model. Most just dress for the hot humid weather
2; beach and big city is impossible; have you been in hong kong island, that's beach and big city but $5k monthly rent for a shoebox, you go find that elusive perfect beach clean metropolis, no one here can help you
3; biking in metropolis = suicide wish

Why not stick to USA where you are a celebrity?