Happier Abroad Forum Community

I'm leaving to Guanajuato, Mexico this summer with a friend/colleague who is from there.

We're going for business purposes, because I will likely be living down there by next year.

So our plan is to travel via rental car for three weeks, and to plan out what I will be working on for the next few
years of my life. Quite a big chapter in my life ahead of me. So, needless to say, I've been
doing my research on the social aspect of living in that part of Mexico. Between the info
on Roosh forum and the info on here, I'm really gravitating towards this forum, mostly
because the people here seem more level-headed regarding women. You seem more interested in quality relationsips versus a
"notches under the belt" mentality. I tend to agree with the
overall message of PUAhate: that PUA is bullshit. There are some good general bits of advice
within PUA about being interesting, confident...i.e. the obvious stuff, but the rest is horse-hockey.

The only one worth listening to is David X.

I was also relieved to hear someone's advice in this forum regarding mexico: (paraphrasing) erase
the word "game" from your vocabulary. I actually learned this a while ago, but I never
get tired of hearing it. I want so bad to be in a part of the world where I can forget
entirely about game, and just be me, and be rewarded for being me.

About me:
I'm in my mid-twenties, 6'tall, white Irish background with brown hair and blueish eyes, I'm physically fit on the lean side. I've been
to Mexico a handful of times, and the last couple times I went there as an adult. It seems women
(young and old) always compliment my eyes. The last time I was there (Ensenada) I got eye-f***ed by a woman
in a bar, but the logistics were bad because of who I was travelling with. As we got up to leave
the bar, the same woman came over quickly, got in front of me, and blocked my exit.
So, realizing I couldn't ignore her at this point, I just told her that she attracted me a lot. She told me, "me too."

One time in Guatemala a sweet young woman told me that looking into my eyes was like looking at the ocean.

Another time in Mexico (when I was about 19) I went out alone to a discoteca and a group of young women made a circle
around me on the dance-floor. One member of the group, then entered the circle and started dancing with me. She then proceeded to
remove my shirt. She kept trying to pull my basketball shorts down too, but I wouldn't let her.

Why do I tell you these things? It's not to brag. Trust me. I'm telling you this because I've never had anything similar happen to me
in my entire life living in the USA. In fact, I've only ever had two girlfriends in my life, and they were pretty lame relationships.

Yet the real clincher for me happened two years ago on my last trip in Latin America. I was in Peru flying from one city to the next.
As luck would have it, I was seated next to a young attorney woman about five years older than me. We talked the whole flight, and my paradigm
about women and the world completely changed just during that 2 hour flight. The conversation flowed so easily, and it was the first time
I ever felt truly comfortable meeting a woman for the first time.

I've had a lifetime of trying to get along with horrible women - between living in California and a part of northern Spain that is even worse
than California. The place in northern Spain may probably be the worst place for meeting women in the world! It was that bad.
Yet that one interaction with the girl in Peru finally was enough to smack me in the head and realize that Latin America is where I must go.
I was so dumb to not realize it before - given all my good experiences travelling in Latin America. So for the past two years, I've
stoically ignored any romantic inkling towards America women (hasn't been difficult), while working very hard to steer the course of my life
south of the border. It's finally happening!

Let me ask a question about Mexican girls to those who are experienced with them.

I'm definitely more interested in having quality relationships and eventually getting married than just getting lots of "flags." Catch the jab to roosh? I've been somewhat indoctrinated to believe that I have to escalate with women quickly otherwise I will get put in the friend zone. But for me,
I honestly have to feel very comfortable with a girl before I can escalate sexually. I've had sex with women in the past that I didn't know
or that I didn't feel comfortable with, and the sex was just horrible. Sometimes I couldn't even hold my wood. I was doing it just to do it.
Not because I had any special connection.

If I meet Mexican girls (say the ones that eye-f**k the shit out of me), and just talk to them for a while over the course of a couple weeks
before I escalate things...is that normal? Or would I be putting myself in the friend zone? I know for American girls, I'd be in big danger
of putting myself in the friend zone. I know most guys probably can't relate to how I am, but a boner can't lie. I need to have a solid connection
with the girl unless she's some super skilled seductress who does all the work for me.

Welcome to the forum rudder! I tend to agree with you about PUA--it has some good advice, but overall, it's a bunch of bullcrap. It encourages men to emasculate themselves in order to get some p***y and curry favor with the opposite sex. To that, I, say, f**k that.

Hmm, really, Spain is that bad? Can you please tell more? I had always thought Spain was a relatively good place in that regard...haven't been there yet, but the women from Spain that I met were nice and genuine, seemed to possess some humbleness and were easy to talk to.

q7677 wrote:Hmm, really, Spain is that bad? Can you please tell more? I had always thought Spain was a relatively good place in that regard...haven't been there yet, but the women from Spain that I met were nice and genuine, seemed to possess some humbleness and were easy to talk to.

We've been getting a lot of new posters to HA from Western Europe complaining about the women there. Must be getting as bad as the United States...Wouldn't surprise me since Western Europe and the United States have such similar cultures.

I think Falcon (??) is a Chinese American who has been to Mexico and found Mexican girlfriends. You can do a search on his name to find his posts on the subject.

Falcon, American in Mexico and fschmidt would probably have the most information on Mexican women. Fred Reed's blog and columns might have a lot of interesting thoughts on expatriating down there.

Guanjuanto is a great choice -- beautiful place, nice weather all year round.

zboy1 wrote:

q7677 wrote:Hmm, really, Spain is that bad? Can you please tell more? I had always thought Spain was a relatively good place in that regard...haven't been there yet, but the women from Spain that I met were nice and genuine, seemed to possess some humbleness and were easy to talk to.

We've been getting a lot of new posters to HA from Western Europe complaining about the women there. Must be getting as bad as the United States...Wouldn't surprise me since Western Europe and the United States have such similar cultures.

Spain has a 61% divorce rate, one of the highest in the world so I'm guessing it's somewhat dysfunctional over there. Even my joint of Australia has only 43% divorce rate and our relationship health is pretty bonkers.

Welcome aboard!

I'm telling you this because I've never had anything similar happen to me in my entire life living in the USA.

This is what I keep saying about my experiences in Mexico too -- that nothing similar has ever happened to me in the US. I've been to both Mexico and Guatemala, and love both countries very much.

Once on a bus in Guatemala, a Mayan girl standing up on the bus kept wrapping her legs around one of mine (I was sitting down), and had a subtle smile on her face all the while, hehe.

I've had women in Mexico come up to me and give me those aggressive kisses on the cheek, calling me "guapo."

I'm early twenties, 6' tall, tanned skin, athletic build, Southern Chinese descent. But your experiences sound pretty similar to mine. So, being white, or moreno, etc. certainly isn't everything.

As for not being friend zoned, it's really not that hard in Mexico; this is something you'd have to worry about more in NE Asia, not Latin American (just ask forum member Rock). Mexican women don't get insulted if you naturally escalate things and express romantic interest within about a week. If you are getting positive signals, then just GO for it.

Which social class of Mexicans do you mostly interact with though? You can tell by the music they listen to and their average educational attainment. I tend to interact with the campesino class who listen to norteno and banda, and usually don't go beyond preparatoria. I have many of these friends in rural Guanajuato state; feel free to e-mail or PM me if you'd like to talk more.

I am curious OP what will you be doing for work since about the only legal job for a foreigner is as an english teacher in Mexico. BTW they just made the legal requirements for that more dificult this past year.

Yeah, I have heard about that. However, you can be self-employed. Other than that most jobs pay crap (especially teaching ~400 dollars per month). Unless you work for an international corporation earning first world dollars.

Hello rudder. As you can tell by my username, I am an American man who lives part of the year in Mexico. I have dated exclusively Mexican women since 2005 (in Mexico only, I do not date chicanas since they are still American women who just happen to have Mexican parents).

My general experience in Mexico is that being a white man myself, mestiza women (mixed white and indigenous) almost universally seem to ignore me for dating prospects. Most attention I have received in Mexico has come from white Mexican women (by white I mean predominantly European descent with little to no indigenous descent) and indigenous women. Falcon on the other hand has said that he has received the most attention from mestizas, so it may be due to him being Asian. I do not know really. All I know is mestizas seem to almost universally view me as a friend only.

You mention you are of Irish descent, so being white it would be interesting to see if you have the same experience I had as far as what race of Mexicans prefer you.

As for the other questions, PUA is totally unnecessary in Mexico and likely to get laughed at at best and beat up at worst. Constantly insulting a woman in Mexico is a good way to get her to go away. Unlike American women who hate niceness and only want guys who treat them badly, the Mexican women actually enjoy men being kind to them and you aren't going to end up in the "friend zone" just because you aren't a bad boy or thug. The usual way to meet someone of the opposite sex in Mexico is to go out in groups and with time you meet lots of people of both genders and eventually find someone you like and who likes you back. Friendship comes first in Mexico and you won't get very far if you try to immediately go to a relationship.

On the other hand, Mexican women do not view all men as "creeps" or potential rapists. Women are very easy to meet in Mexico and even if you don't progress to a relationship with a specific woman, she will still be a good friend to you and help you find someone else. They also are not excessively obsessed with height like American women are. They don't all cut their hair short or wear exclusively jeans. In other words, they act and look feminine.

I have not dated an American woman since 2005 and will never look back. Mexican women all the way.

Falcon wrote:Welcome aboard!

I'm telling you this because I've never had anything similar happen to me in my entire life living in the USA.

This is what I keep saying about my experiences in Mexico too -- that nothing similar has ever happened to me in the US. I've been to both Mexico and Guatemala, and love both countries very much.

Once on a bus in Guatemala, a Mayan girl standing up on the bus kept wrapping her legs around one of mine (I was sitting down), and had a subtle smile on her face all the while, hehe.

I've had women in Mexico come up to me and give me those aggressive kisses on the cheek, calling me "guapo."

I'm early twenties, 6' tall, tanned skin, athletic build, Southern Chinese descent. But your experiences sound pretty similar to mine. So, being white, or moreno, etc. certainly isn't everything.

As for not being friend zoned, it's really not that hard in Mexico; this is something you'd have to worry about more in NE Asia, not Latin American (just ask forum member Rock). Mexican women don't get insulted if you naturally escalate things and express romantic interest within about a week. If you are getting positive signals, then just GO for it.

Which social class of Mexicans do you mostly interact with though? You can tell by the music they listen to and their average educational attainment. I tend to interact with the campesino class who listen to norteno and banda, and usually don't go beyond preparatoria. I have many of these friends in rural Guanajuato state; feel free to e-mail or PM me if you'd like to talk more.

Haha, that sounds nice about the Guatemalan girl on the bus. I would've fallen for her.

My question about the friend zone has to do with not going for it with a girl. Like if I know she's way into me, but I don't make any moves for a few weeks. I'd still like to keep the option open, but maybe ease into something more romantic after a while. I don't know how that flies down there? But I would assume when the girls are that interested, they'd be willing to wait for you.

My social circle is definitely going to involve mostly rural folks, since my friend is from a very small village with less than 1000 people, which is where I'm supposed to live. I don't know though. That might be too small for me, but at least there's a bigger town a few miles away.

....Oh and I guess I lied about nothing cool ever happening to me in the US. Once I did a Spanish conversation class. And one day during the semester this 18 year old very cute, demure, fresh off the boat (or whatever the equivalent saying would be) Mexican girl showed up, and I was assigned to talk with her. She was a little shy for regular conversation, so she just read me some of her romantic poems. The best part was that she could not handle my eyes. She literally kept freaking out and turning away everytime she looked me in the eyes. She kept saying, "los ojos!" It was probably one of the cutest things ever.

AmericanInMexico wrote:Hello rudder. As you can tell by my username, I am an American man who lives part of the year in Mexico. I have dated exclusively Mexican women since 2005 (in Mexico only, I do not date chicanas since they are still American women who just happen to have Mexican parents).

My general experience in Mexico is that being a white man myself, mestiza women (mixed white and indigenous) almost universally seem to ignore me for dating prospects. Most attention I have received in Mexico has come from white Mexican women (by white I mean predominantly European descent with little to no indigenous descent) and indigenous women. Falcon on the other hand has said that he has received the most attention from mestizas, so it may be due to him being Asian. I do not know really. All I know is mestizas seem to almost universally view me as a friend only.

You mention you are of Irish descent, so being white it would be interesting to see if you have the same experience I had as far as what race of Mexicans prefer you.

As for the other questions, PUA is totally unnecessary in Mexico and likely to get laughed at at best and beat up at worst. Constantly insulting a woman in Mexico is a good way to get her to go away. Unlike American women who hate niceness and only want guys who treat them badly, the Mexican women actually enjoy men being kind to them and you aren't going to end up in the "friend zone" just because you aren't a bad boy or thug. The usual way to meet someone of the opposite sex in Mexico is to go out in groups and with time you meet lots of people of both genders and eventually find someone you like and who likes you back. Friendship comes first in Mexico and you won't get very far if you try to immediately go to a relationship.

On the other hand, Mexican women do not view all men as "creeps" or potential rapists. Women are very easy to meet in Mexico and even if you don't progress to a relationship with a specific woman, she will still be a good friend to you and help you find someone else. They also are not excessively obsessed with height like American women are. They don't all cut their hair short or wear exclusively jeans. In other words, they act and look feminine.

I have not dated an American woman since 2005 and will never look back. Mexican women all the way.

Your experience is not what I would expect. All the women who have ever given me considerable attention in Mexico were Mestizas. I've not been to the parts of Mexico with many indigenous or whites. I wouldn't expect whites to be very receptive, but indigenous probably would be.

rudder wrote:Your experience is not what I would expect. All the women who have ever given me considerable attention in Mexico were Mestizas. I've not been to the parts of Mexico with many indigenous or whites. I wouldn't expect whites to be very receptive, but indigenous probably would be.

Why do you say you wouldn't expect whites to be very receptive? They certainly are very receptive towards me.

Biology. Similar phenotypes means that there's not as much genetic outcrossing. Evolutionarily speaking, a wider mix of traits helps produce more resilient offspring.

The opposing theory is the same-tribe theory. But I think that's more cultural (learned) vs. instinctual (hard-wired). Since I'm one of the whites, I'm a part of their white tribe.

I'll keep an eye out for the white Mexicans now that you've mentioned it.