Happier Abroad Forum Community

I'm 32 years of age and I'm tired of being 2nd rate class here in the dating scene in the states from jaded women.

It's like women here do have in fact. All of the choices to getting the guy they want. Even physically unattractive women, chubby women to obese women can still find a guy. It's a fact folks! not a conspiracy.

I've tried my best to get a girlfriend in high-school. That failed...

I tried to find a girlfriend here locally. That failed...

I tried to find a girlfriend using online personals here in the states. Yes, you dam right that failed. AN EPIC FAILED...

I want something MORE than just small talk and jaded American women that think they are too good for every tom dick n' harry here locally to nationally.

Of course I have a few online and offline female friends. But I'm still never good enough to date.

I say "the hell with this and I am in a type of vortex of reality HELL" and I'm sick of it.

I believe that in my going abroad in 2009 will bring me the happiness I've always wanted and needed.

Foreign women I believe from all of the analysis, features, research are truly GOLD when it comes to finding REAL relationships. And I know I'll have WAY better chances of landing me a HOT LOOKING GIRLFRIEND.

Where in the fact that here in the states. I'm "forced" to "settle for less" then what I'm looking for in the type of person that I seek for a long-term relationship.

Yes, I admit that I've had opportunities to where in my past. Ladies have hit on me. But only for that ( one-night-counter ) if you know what I mean folks? Yes, I've even flirted physically with a rare few ladies in my past in my early 20's. But again. I had to WAIT and be CHOSEN by females. I've asked over 20+ ladies to women for a date. It's nothing more than wishful thinking, drama or flirt games.

I believe foreign women abroad want a more meaningful relationship that is real. Foreign women ARE in fact, are giving American women a run for their money in terms of the dating scene.

Yes, I know there's even guys that do the total opposite to women in the dating scene. But the facts are the facts here folks!

I can either continue to stay here and be totally "unhappy, lonely, depressed, isolated and deprived female companionship" here in America.

Or

I can simply go abroad to find my own happiness with a foreign lady that seeks a real relationship.

I do not feel comfortable here in the states in terms of the "Jaded female populace" of the dating scene.

Women overseas and abroad in most developing countries are raised on "old-traditioned" and "family-values". Yes, I know there's the type of ladies out there that are "out for your money with scams, materialism and gold-digging intentions", but the fact remains that my chances and choices in going abroad SKYROCKET as "Winston" would say to over 90% for a guy like myself and other lonely guys in the dateless scene of America and the U.K.

It's time for MY happiness to be fulfilled and I promised myself a long vacation when I had the chance. And once my online businesses are done and hopefully off the ground. Then I can go abroad to find that happiness and become happy and my dateless scene I have been deprived here in the states will be deminished.

Thank you all for reading!

- Dwayne

Big Dwayne i like avatar. I truly enjoyed your reason..... reasons. You have a kick ass avatar. wat are you pirate?

90% rate is way too big for the advertisement of this nation. We should be getting more ass than saddam hussein.


When are you headed in that direction?

I completely agree with you mobstersreport. I have a very similar siuation. I'm 40, no kids, divorced years ago, in excellent shape, own my own web biz, well-travelled and educated, but I'm finding myself "stuck" in America with practically no social life whatsoever.

I left the US once before, back in the 90s -- I moved to Scandinavia, and discovered what I had been missing all those years. I'm a decent looking guy with a good head on his shoulders, but I never had any luck with American women whatsoever. But in Europe, I discovered I could finally be myself, and there were All kinds of attractive, natural, intelligent women interested in me.

Unfortunately, I lost my European residence visa a few years ago and had to move back to the US. Since that time, my social life has gotten consistently worse, and I find it hard to relate to the brain-dead mentality that dominates here ( I'm in Florida by the way).

Ironically, women that I wouldn't give a second glance to in Europe seem to think they're too good for me here in the states. Of course, many of them wind up married to some abusive inbred redneck, and then divorced with a few kids in a couple of years. You reap what you sow...

So I've find myself in the same boat you're in -- looking for way out, and just trying to decide where to go and how to proceed forward. I'm very lucky in that I have an established internet business that pays the bills, so I can work from anywhere in the world. I've been considering heading over to the Philippines and checking that out, but an acquaintance of mine has also got me interested in Brazil.

Either way, I'll be making a decision soon and getting the F out of here. The Philippines seems to have the most relaxed visa regulations, making it possible to stay there almost indefinitely if you work within the system, So that's certainly a big plus ( The lovely ladies are another of course).

Which brings me to my last point: it's tough for a lot of guys to just up and leave the U. S., even though they know in their heart they'll be glad they did and their life will improve once they've done it. So I think people like us should stick together and join forces whenever possible. Traveling the world or relocating to another country can be challenging, but it becomes a lot easier when you have a like-minded "wing man."

So if anyone on here is in a similar situation and would like to compare notes, or potentially even buddy up to travel, please be in touch. I'm open to suggestions.

Finally, I know of written a short novel here as a first post, but I want everyone on this site to know that Winston is 100% right. I have lived abroad and seen the difference in my social life, in how it made me feel inside; and I've also seen the antisocial lame-ass dating scene in the US, and how it undermines a man's confidence and inhibits his ability to simply be himself. It is an absolute shame, and no man should have to live that way.

Thanks for a great site Winston. You're doing a service to all American guys by exposing the limited possibilities for happiness and social connection in the US.

Also going abroad in 2009,
Merc

SexyBeast wrote:Big Dwayne i like avatar. I truly enjoyed your reason..... reasons. You have a kick ass avatar. wat are you pirate?

90% rate is way too big for the advertisement of this nation. We should be getting more ass than saddam hussein.


When are you headed in that direction?

I'm heading abroad this year in 2009. I cannot wait too. I'm sick of being dateless in this country and I know dam well that I am not alone on my assumptions and experiences, in the dateless scene of the states.

Merc wrote:I completely agree with you mobstersreport. I have a very similar siuation. I'm 40, no kids, divorced years ago, in excellent shape, own my own web biz, well-travelled and educated, but I'm finding myself "stuck" in America with practically no social life whatsoever.

I left the US once before, back in the 90s -- I moved to Scandinavia, and discovered what I had been missing all those years. I'm a decent looking guy with a good head on his shoulders, but I never had any luck with American women whatsoever. But in Europe, I discovered I could finally be myself, and there were All kinds of attractive, natural, intelligent women interested in me.

Unfortunately, I lost my European residence visa a few years ago and had to move back to the US. Since that time, my social life has gotten consistently worse, and I find it hard to relate to the brain-dead mentality that dominates here ( I'm in Florida by the way).

Ironically, women that I wouldn't give a second glance to in Europe seem to think they're too good for me here in the states. Of course, many of them wind up married to some abusive inbred redneck, and then divorced with a few kids in a couple of years. You reap what you sow...

So I've find myself in the same boat you're in -- looking for way out, and just trying to decide where to go and how to proceed forward. I'm very lucky in that I have an established internet business that pays the bills, so I can work from anywhere in the world. I've been considering heading over to the Philippines and checking that out, but an acquaintance of mine has also got me interested in Brazil.

Either way, I'll be making a decision soon and getting the F out of here. The Philippines seems to have the most relaxed visa regulations, making it possible to stay there almost indefinitely if you work within the system, So that's certainly a big plus ( The lovely ladies are another of course).

Which brings me to my last point: it's tough for a lot of guys to just up and leave the U. S., even though they know in their heart they'll be glad they did and their life will improve once they've done it. So I think people like us should stick together and join forces whenever possible. Traveling the world or relocating to another country can be challenging, but it becomes a lot easier when you have a like-minded "wing man."

So if anyone on here is in a similar situation and would like to compare notes, or potentially even buddy up to travel, please be in touch. I'm open to suggestions.

Finally, I know of written a short novel here as a first post, but I want everyone on this site to know that Winston is 100% right. I have lived abroad and seen the difference in my social life, in how it made me feel inside; and I've also seen the antisocial lame-ass dating scene in the US, and how it undermines a man's confidence and inhibits his ability to simply be himself. It is an absolute shame, and no man should have to live that way.

Thanks for a great site Winston. You're doing a service to all American guys by exposing the limited possibilities for happiness and social connection in the US.

Also going abroad in 2009,
Merc

Cheers on an excellent response Merc.

You've hit the nail on the head in your response to me and this post topic. Thank you!

I agree with your observations, too. It's the anti-social atmosphere that destroys a mans confidence here in the dating scene of America. I'm the type of person that can walk outside and strike a conversation with just about anybody.

But there seems to be a very close knit type of "insecurity, self-defending" attitude, that people keep mostly to themselves.

It's like we're bred to be consumers in this country. The propaganda media doesn't even touch upon the bases of the dating scene for a guy here in the states, when it comes to the daitng scene.

I congragulate you on your internet business. I'm looking to do the same very soon and I do believe I will be very successful. I admit that it's my key to being indepdent financially and to GO ABROAD and it is a good feeling to have a type of control over the outcome of my own life and setting my goals.

You made the right choice in joining this site. Winston Wu is 100% correct. I've been called names and ridiculed. Just because I dare speak out about my experiences in the jaded dating scene in America, in terms of "the ladies."

It's like a type of community, where if you mostly are not seen as a "pick-up artist fan, student, or mentor." then you'll have no luck with women. It's a weird concept of why I say that. But it's just my overall experiences of what I went through with women, here in the states.

I have to get abroad or there will be no life of happiness here in America.

Please share more of your experiences, notes and other observations with me and the rest of us in these topics. There's many issues you can touch upon, to give your experiences to others here. =]

We need MORE people like yourself to come out of the hide and lurk modes of the interwebs and to speak their minds.

Kuddos on your bravery for joining Merc.

SexyBeast wrote:Big Dwayne i like avatar. I truly enjoyed your reason..... reasons. You have a kick ass avatar. wat are you pirate?

90% rate is way too big for the advertisement of this nation. We should be getting more ass than saddam hussein.


When are you headed in that direction?

Thank you for tha Avatar props comment Sexy Beast. The avatar is very simple to find. I'll just post the link to it below this sentence. Enjoy!

* image URL removed, host reported as malicious site.

Hey Dwayne, thanks for your comments. And by the way, I agree you've got a kick-ass avatar

I wanted to share one story, and actually it's not about American women, but the men.

I was at a party six months ago with a friend from Norway visiting the US. There were mostly Americans at the party (about 70% male-- a real sausage fest!), but also two Dutch guys, two Bolivians, as well as my Norwegian friend. What I noticed very clearly at this party was the antisocial and competitive nature of the American men as compared to the Europeans and the Bolivians.

Being a social person, I naturally mixed freely and said hi to many of the American guys at the party. The responses I got ranged from indifference to defensiveness ( "how dare you talk to me"), and there was a lot of the macho "pissing contest" vibe.

But when I spoke to the two Dutch guys and the Bolivians (none of whom I had ever met before), there was none of that macho bullshit or paranoid behavior. They were just regular guys, well-educated, interesting to talk to, and friendly -- just like my Norwegian friend. By contrast, the American dudes seemed insecure and fear-based, like they had something to prove all the time.

Not only did I notice this, the Europeans and Bolivians at the party all mentioned it too, and one of them told me that when socializing with American men, he always felt like they were trying to compete with him for some reason, though he had no idea why. The Europeans were also confused by the macho attitude, as that is NOT common in northern Europe and is usually regarded (rightly) as a sign of insecurity and weakness.

I ended up talking to the Europeans and Bolivians all night (the six of us had a great time), while the Americans mostly kept to themselves and played silly competitive head games. We were laughing, having drinks and enjoying ourselves, while the American guys mostly looked miserable and antisocial.

I came home that night and truly understood for the first time how strong the American cultural matrix is, and how completely brainwashed the majority is in this country. They have accepted a set of beliefs and paradigms that keep them fearful, suspicious, uncooperative and competitive.

"It's like we're bred to be consumers in this country"

You're right Dwayne. This attitude makes people great as consumers, but pitiful as human beings. I encourage anyone on here who has noticed this phenomena to watch some of the BBC documentaries by "Adam Curtis." He explains exactly how Americans (and Brits) are bred to be consumers, not people. There's one called "The Trap" that is great. Also "The power of nightmares," "engineering of consent," and about a dozen others. Here's a Youtube channel with tons of them on there:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=melah65&view=videos

Curtis shows the historical background that led to the US becoming a paranoid society, dominated by media-driven fear-based attitudes. It's enlightening, to say the least.

Be well,
Jon

Merc wrote:Which brings me to my last point: it's tough for a lot of guys to just up and leave the U. S., even though they know in their heart they'll be glad they did and their life will improve once they've done it. So I think people like us should stick together and join forces whenever possible. Traveling the world or relocating to another country can be challenging, but it becomes a lot easier when you have a like-minded "wing man."

I am also in the process of moving out, to Xalapa, Mexico. I'm married with kids, and my main reason for moving out is that I don't want my kids growing up in American culture. My wife is Mexican. I agree that it would be nice for those of us looking to escape American culture to help each other out. When I am settled in Xalapa, I will post here and I would be happy to show around any here interested in visiting Xalapa.

Merc wrote:Hey Dwayne, thanks for your comments. And by the way, I agree you've got a kick-ass avatar

I wanted to share one story, and actually it's not about American women, but the men.

I was at a party six months ago with a friend from Norway visiting the US. There were mostly Americans at the party (about 70% male-- a real sausage fest!), but also two Dutch guys, two Bolivians, as well as my Norwegian friend. What I noticed very clearly at this party was the antisocial and competitive nature of the American men as compared to the Europeans and the Bolivians.

Being a social person, I naturally mixed freely and said hi to many of the American guys at the party. The responses I got ranged from indifference to defensiveness ( "how dare you talk to me"), and there was a lot of the macho "pissing contest" vibe.

But when I spoke to the two Dutch guys and the Bolivians (none of whom I had ever met before), there was none of that macho bullshit or paranoid behavior. They were just regular guys, well-educated, interesting to talk to, and friendly -- just like my Norwegian friend. By contrast, the American dudes seemed insecure and fear-based, like they had something to prove all the time.

Not only did I notice this, the Europeans and Bolivians at the party all mentioned it too, and one of them told me that when socializing with American men, he always felt like they were trying to compete with him for some reason, though he had no idea why. The Europeans were also confused by the macho attitude, as that is NOT common in northern Europe and is usually regarded (rightly) as a sign of insecurity and weakness.

I ended up talking to the Europeans and Bolivians all night (the six of us had a great time), while the Americans mostly kept to themselves and played silly competitive head games. We were laughing, having drinks and enjoying ourselves, while the American guys mostly looked miserable and antisocial.

I came home that night and truly understood for the first time how strong the American cultural matrix is, and how completely brainwashed the majority is in this country. They have accepted a set of beliefs and paradigms that keep them fearful, suspicious, uncooperative and competitive.

"It's like we're bred to be consumers in this country"

You're right Dwayne. This attitude makes people great as consumers, but pitiful as human beings. I encourage anyone on here who has noticed this phenomena to watch some of the BBC documentaries by "Adam Curtis." He explains exactly how Americans (and Brits) are bred to be consumers, not people. There's one called "The Trap" that is great. Also "The power of nightmares," "engineering of consent," and about a dozen others. Here's a Youtube channel with tons of them on there:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=melah65&view=videos

Curtis shows the historical background that led to the US becoming a paranoid society, dominated by media-driven fear-based attitudes. It's enlightening, to say the least.

Be well,
Jon

Thank you for your response Merc. You've hit the nail on the head with your examples and experiences, especially from others you've talked to from other countries.

That's just the "bred consumer ideology" that we're designed to be as Americans. I understand that most of us Americans cannot grasp that concept or idea, as "true", but it's the reality that even I've lived my life in growing up around in my local area, here in America.

A good percentage of Americans are waking up to why they are being bred for slavery and consumerism. With alternative news for those who seek real truth and research. Will read, see and understand the paradigm as false, that the propaganda media here in America and the U.K. dishes out. Until people see and "notice" the propaganda that is displayed on the sublimal and psychological weapon, known as the "television set." Then people will be mentally conditioned to except many differen't forms of mind control. Thus allowing us from these 2 countries to be bred for consumerism. While our minds and personalities are transformed to accept it 24/7.

There's an old saying here in America, that if a person does not like America. Then they better "get the hell out." I still do love America because of the freedoms and liberties are concerned. But let's look at the facts and the truth as real as possible. I've even heard from people online and offline. That America is "no-more" like it use to be in the old days. It's a doggie-dog nation where most people are just out for themselves. I even here it from lady friends that I should just care about myself only. Sometimes I've felt that way. But it's just not who I am in nature.

As for the insecurities as a people. Yes, it's by design that we Americans ( by design ) are to be broken down as a nation and bred for an even more up and coming type of servitude and brainwashing program. We're dumbed down by design as a nation. We're taught, bred and trained emotionally, personality wise, and mentally. That we're to be treated as #1 in the world's stage. That no other nation reigns supreme.

When it comes to the dating scene here in this country. You and your friends from differen't countries are right. There's this macho and alpha male attitude to be strong, with a pissy attitude towards other males, and type of coolness mental defect that is pushed into our minds through different forms of propaganda through television. That women look up to these types of males as ( strong, wise, alpha-male and breedable ).

I agree with your response and foreign friends you've met 110% in their analysis. I just cannot have no fun here and to communicate with people of my own culture. I have a few lady friends that are truly interested in communication and a few male friends from America that I speak with, that are truly interested in communicating. Others have this anti-social behavior that is really spooking me to feel like, we have had our brains and souls stolen from happiness and true freedom to think and operate as an American culture, as a nation of people supposed "free people."

But the way I see it in the end. I do understand why you and others that live in America. That has grown up here. Lived here our whole lives. Then to travel overseas, see's different experiences, meets new people, after weeks of being overseas and being in an atmosphere where people treat you better. It's no reason you want to get out and go back abroad.

I already understand everything you are saying. It's just that most people do not have a clue to what I or yourself even talks about in this post topic. Some will notice it and others will not.

The fact remains that we're bred to be consumers, insecure, empty inside. have this look out for #1 type attitude. I can go on, and on, and on all day with this observation.

We're also taught that going outside of America is dangerous 24/7. The television propaganda media arm. Tells us every single days in many forms of propaganda, that there's no better place than America on earth an American should go or leave this country. It's like trying to forcefully keep people conditioned to not travel outside to see new experiences for themselves.

It's a nutty world at this point and it's only going to get even more worse with this economical and global economical crisis we have going on. That I do believe is about to get more chaotic as the next few months to the next 2 years unfold I'm afraid.

Good post response.

I have also noticed that guys in America tend to act "macho" and "tough" and of course most young single guys in America are "party animals." These guys love the bar scene (actually they are obsessed with going out to bars and clubs all the time). I know a guy about my age (late 30's) who goes to bars and clubs EVEN IF IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE OR THE TEMPERATURE IS BELOW ZERO! I mean come on, is going to bars and clubs that important? That is something I have never understood with single people in America. When I was in college it was the same thing. College students would to out on the weekends, get drunk and wake up the next day with a hangover! Then, they would do the same thing the following weekend! What is it with these people? Sometimes I would hear them vomiting in the bathroom down the hall in my dormitory! When I tell people I am not a party animal and have never gotten drunk, people look at me like I am an alien! I guess to be a cool person in the US, you need to be a "party animal" and get drunk on the weekends! I do feel like I am in the minority here in the US and would like to check out other countries to see what the social scene is like over seas!

Well people in Europe like going out to pubs a lot too and drinking beer. But they don't usually get drunk often. Maybe they don't drink too much? Instead, they have intelligent conversation at the pubs and control how much they drink.

But frankly, I never understood why people want to get drunk or like it. I mean, nothing good comes out of it, so what's the point? If I need to relax or escape problems, there are many better and safer ways than to get drunk. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't even feel good.

I also never understood why people like roller coasters either. It's all pain and no pleasure to me. Why would anyone like the feeling like they are about to die and all the panic buttons in their nervous system are going off? That's not pleasure, that's extreme stress on your body and nervous system. So why the hell would anyone PAY money for such an unpleasant feeling? It makes no f***ing sense.

Merc wrote: I wanted to share one story, and actually it's not about American women, but the men.

I was at a party six months ago with a friend from Norway visiting the US. There were mostly Americans at the party (about 70% male-- a real sausage fest!), but also two Dutch guys, two Bolivians, as well as my Norwegian friend. What I noticed very clearly at this party was the antisocial and competitive nature of the American men as compared to the Europeans and the Bolivians.

Being a social person, I naturally mixed freely and said hi to many of the American guys at the party. The responses I got ranged from indifference to defensiveness ( "how dare you talk to me"), and there was a lot of the macho "pissing contest" vibe.

But when I spoke to the two Dutch guys and the Bolivians (none of whom I had ever met before), there was none of that macho bullshit or paranoid behavior. They were just regular guys, well-educated, interesting to talk to, and friendly -- just like my Norwegian friend. By contrast, the American dudes seemed insecure and fear-based, like they had something to prove all the time.

Not only did I notice this, the Europeans and Bolivians at the party all mentioned it too, and one of them told me that when socializing with American men, he always felt like they were trying to compete with him for some reason, though he had no idea why. The Europeans were also confused by the macho attitude, as that is NOT common in northern Europe and is usually regarded (rightly) as a sign of insecurity and weakness.

I ended up talking to the Europeans and Bolivians all night (the six of us had a great time), while the Americans mostly kept to themselves and played silly competitive head games. We were laughing, having drinks and enjoying ourselves, while the American guys mostly looked miserable and antisocial.

W: Excellent observations Merc. I showed them to some friends of mine, and here's what they said:

"Yep! I've always noticed if you want to know who the biggest p***y is in a group of guys, just listen for the one with the biggest mouth! It's fear that motivates him to pretend he's fearless. It's the guy who's always bragging the most, that has the least."

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"I see this all the time, guys competitive and in denial. Like when I go to a social and there are lots of guys and the girls are totally unfriendly, the guys are in denial. Just walk up to one of these guys standing on the outside, looking in and say "this party sucks", He won't say it sure does. He'll say "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm having a great time". These Aholes don't deserve to succeed. I've always said that if you don't admit there is a problem, you'll never be able to solve the problem. As my friend would say "let them die on the vine". I find it very hard to make guy friends in the US, because they are in such denial and liars. I won't make any person a friend that won't accept reality and tell the truth. "

I agree with the posts in this thread. Male culture is definitely messed up here. Not all guys are this way (insecure, loud, xenophobic) but as many as 60-70% are.

I went abroad for the first time last summer (I don't think I've posted here since then...) and it was quite an experience. I feel like I only got a brief taste of life in Europe, and I really want to go back. Many things were different. Even in a very exclusive country like France (with FAR more antisocial people than in the U.S.) I made truer connections.

The interesting thing about me is nobody in America thinks I'm American! I am REPEATEDLY asked what country I am from. It's totally surreal how I'm told I just don't seem American on a weekly basis. Maybe because I'm intelligent, social, inclusive and I get along with people? Who knows...

I'm 22. My love life is always a struggle. My goal is to date a lot of really cute women before I go exclusive, but it must be a very good relationship (loving AND sexually charged). This goal seems innocent enough, but it's so bloody hard. Sometimes close to impossible. It doesn't help that relationships here scare the living daylights out of me because I see so many people suffering after finding their girlfriend. American relationships are usually a mess. I think it's this fear that holds me back.

The problem is that women here are so PARANOID! It's as if you're guilty (being a stalker, being creepy, being a loser, being nerdy) until proven innocent. So the immediate courtship process is about trying to demonstrate you're not one of those things. I want to believe I'm a very honest, upfront, romantic, exciting / adventurous man. But it's the dating process (before I developed callouses) has actually made me question myself, and wonder if I'm not a good person. When women insult you just for talking to them, it can cause some insecurity.

But not all women are like that, only a few of the real bitches. So I just filter them out. But the ones who are not bitchy have been raised to be so paranoid, that it's like trying to tame a scared woodland animal. The really sweet girls are often scared to go out with you, and even believe that dating a guy automatically means settling down (I live in more conservative parts) so it becomes a huge deal.

And so many are infected by the "get a real man" syndrome where I am judged by the size of my truck and the size of my biceps. Meanwhile, most of the "real men" are guys described in this thread: super macho, xenophobic, insecure, brash, arrogant, etc. They usually take these emotional problems into relationships, resulting in our massive divorce rates and domestic violence levels.

As I've stated here in the past, I don't think I'm without 'game'. A lot of dating problems involve guys not being congruent with themselves or confident enough. But I know this isn't my problem anymore. I can get a girl's interest in an instant. But the real barrier is on a deeper level, or a lack of commonality.

So, after I graduate college, and develop some kind of mobile business, I really gotta spend some time overseas. I don't think I'll find my ideal love life here. I mean I could, but it would take so much longer and why put myself through that kind of stress? Until then I've accepted how different and "European" I act, and I'm glad to stand out.

fschmidt wrote:

Merc wrote:Which brings me to my last point: it's tough for a lot of guys to just up and leave the U. S., even though they know in their heart they'll be glad they did and their life will improve once they've done it. So I think people like us should stick together and join forces whenever possible. Traveling the world or relocating to another country can be challenging, but it becomes a lot easier when you have a like-minded "wing man."

I am also in the process of moving out, to Xalapa, Mexico. I'm married with kids, and my main reason for moving out is that I don't want my kids growing up in American culture. My wife is Mexican. I agree that it would be nice for those of us looking to escape American culture to help each other out. When I am settled in Xalapa, I will post here and I would be happy to show around any here interested in visiting Xalapa.

I am intrested in your relocation. I have lived in Peru with my Peruvian wife and it was the best decision I ever made. Please keep me informed on how you are doing in Mexico. You can P/M me when you are there. Thanks.

Cyrus wrote:I agree with the posts in this thread. Male culture is definitely messed up here. Not all guys are this way (insecure, loud, xenophobic) but as many as 60-70% are.

The problem is that women here are so PARANOID! It's as if you're guilty (being a stalker, being creepy, being a loser, being nerdy) until proven innocent. So the immediate courtship process is about trying to demonstrate you're not one of those things. I want to believe I'm a very honest, upfront, romantic, exciting / adventurous man. But it's the dating process (before I developed callouses) has actually made me question myself, and wonder if I'm not a good person. When women insult you just for talking to them, it can cause some insecurity.

As I've stated here in the past, I don't think I'm without 'game'. A lot of dating problems involve guys not being congruent with themselves or confident enough. But I know this isn't my problem anymore. I can get a girl's interest in an instant. But the real barrier is on a deeper level, or a lack of commonality.

It's true that American women are "paranoid" of men. Winston has written about this many times, that when he would approach women in the US, a "paranoid look" would surface on the women's face. This is why meeting women through your friends is the best way to meet women in the US. This is assuming your friends have some single female friends that they can introduce to you. In the US you are just supposed to mind your own business when you are out in public and not talk to strangers.