Happier Abroad Forum Community

I discovered what you now know about the reality of courting and dating American women some many years ago.



As a middle aged guy, never married, I’m now in a serious relationship with a Hispanic woman, very beautiful, in Mexico .



Here in Arkansas, in the lower Midwest (midsouth), where I grew up, still today, (and I’m 45), rarely ever, do I ever get any beautiful women approaching me, either at a bar, in public, or anywhere that wishes to get to know me for simply being a guy. Unless I have a charade or dog and pony show, or act or mask to put on, to this very date, I’ve never had a woman approach me just to be nice and hint to me that she’s interested in getting to know me personally. I’ve never been aggressive or lowered myself to the level of lying to entrap and deceptively lure the opposite sex, simply because of loneliness and desperation. (Hence, I’m still single and don’t regret it.)



Our horrible culture sends mixed messages, and has for years regarding our roles, both male and female, and the social ritualistic nature, which has become tarnished and clouded with apprehensiveness and indecisiveness regarding the haphazzard introductory social skills when meeting someone of the opposite sex. Hollywood and feminism are to blame.



The break down of masculine roles and norms has eroded the male into feminized males without spines. Women know they have power, and they show it when competing and playing the dating and courting realm. It’s all about power and control when playing the market and participating in the game. Ever notice the onslaught of popular top forty music lyrics? Hmmmm, guess how many continuous songs are sang about females having domination and power over their male counterparts, even in the introductory level in the poetry of the music.



No doubt WU, I eventually overcame the obstacle of datelessness a long time ago, simply by leaving our nations borders.



The United States can go to hell, and so can their women and so can the pussification of our men.



To this date, I, by myself, while often setting at a social bar drinking will explain this phenomenon to my fellow male patrons besides me, and still today, they don’t believe me, or think that it’s possible to be happy and meet a woman from another culture who actually likes you, simply because you’re an American guy. They’re so brainwashed and pessimistic, all because they’ve given up hope and settled; settled for taking no for answer and being turned down, like most modern day males.



Women from other cultures have always told me this, “American act like and present themselves with a confidence all because they have a since of entitlement and are spoiled with the men who cave in and become submissive. American men are in demand everywhere else in the world, except America �.



Peace Wu- You Rock!



JD

WU, you're more than welcome to use my letter!

I'm traveling Tuesday to see my sweetheart Patricia in Hermosillo, Sonora,
Mexico. A year younger than I, she is a professional office assistant to a
professor at the University of Sonora; a tenured employee, not too far from
retirement! She's also a part of a labor Union on top of that! Go figure!
Cool, eh? Yes, she's divorced. And yes, she's very attractive, especially
for 44 years! Seems as though her husband left her ten years ago for another
woman, very common in their culture! She has three beautiful daughters.

I love the attention I get when I'm in Mexico. Mexican women, in their
country, know that we "Gringo" men are being used and abused here in the
states, and women there are very well aware of the roles both men and women
play in dating and courting here. Yes, they're familiar with our Hollywood
television series and reality shows. Most all productions are translated and
dubbed in Spanish. They have their Entertainment Tonight (E.T.) you know.

Women in Mexico still have to deal with the familiar male machismo
dominance. It's culture there. Here, in our country, as you know, men have
had that stripped from them; and now, we're somewhat uniquely appealing and
somewhat of a hot commodity everywhere in the Latin world now; that is, if
we make ourselves available. Go figure!

Apparently, Latin women think we’re attractive and a good catch. After all,
they know we labor about fifty percent (equality) in order to keep our
American women happy, so the Latin women figure it’s a pretty good deal to
be with a “trained ladies man�. You know, it could also be because they know
American women dominate our courting and dating rituals, and they (Latin
females), feel that they can overcome adversity and make better partners,
better than American girls. Who knows? Can you say competition?

Latin females there in Mexico are also aware that American women treat us
American men disrespectfully, not only before, but during and after
marriage, and especially after divorce! Latin women know how many men have
gone through divorces and suffered, only to find American women alleging and
accusing preposterous lies, only to alienate the father from his very own
children! This obviously occur's commonplace in our country, but in Latin
America, it’s looked down upon. Most Latin women would never think of such.
Moreover, culture and social norms won’t allow it. And their laws aren't pro
women either, and that helps! Men are treated much more respectfully there,
vs. here. This makes American women looked down upon by Mexican women.

Latin women also know that the problems we face here isn’t all men's faults!
They know better. They know the legal system is corrupt and feminist views
and anti-male attitudes dominate our culture, especially depicted by the
mainstream press and media, and in the family courts! That includes
Hollywood and the Motion picture industry too. They know that men aren’t
that weak, but instead, men are cast that way intentionally and
purposefully, without respect. That bother’s most Latin women and they have
disdain for that disrespectful treatment.

It’s common that Latin females also know that American men are treated
horribly in relationships, unless they have extremely powerful societal
positions and roles in business, and then, just like in the Latin countries,
men will be respectfully dominant anyway, and end up calling the shots in
relationships no matter; all because they can! Women aren't stupid you know.


It goes without saying; Latin women don't like American women. They know the
game American women play, and know the psychology as well.

Anyway, I'm simply capitalizing on the unique dynamic.
Thankfully, the grass truly is really greener on the other side!
The Mexican men know our courting and dating objectives, and they don't like
us treading in on their turf. They abhor our presence, if they know what
we're up too. So it's best to lay low and not draw attention to ourselves.
If we meet a Mexican woman, we keep it tight, and carefully kindle the
relationship with care. They know we're not machismo like them, so they shun
mixed relationships with American men.

Makes sense I suppose, but I'm not worried. I mind my own business and don’t
tread where there’s potential for trouble. When at a night club or bar, we
dance together and stay close; not sending mixed messages to potential
suitors. I stay quiet, and I allow her to do all the talking and
socializing. She loves it. It makes her feel important and significant. Even
more, she impresses her girlfriends whose husbands are the more dominant
socialites.

I came across you on YouTube when researching dating customs and practices.

Peace-JD Thomas

P.S. I'll keep you posted on my continued relationship. I'm a driver for an
entertainment transportation company hauling concert, staging and theatrical
equipment for Rock Groups, Bands, Artists and such. I just finished Jason
Mraz, and Elton John/Billy Joel, and took a brief break off the road. We
driver's have to go home sometimes. I'm not a coach driver, but a production
truck driver. I've been touring off and on since 1997.

Wu,

Most of the folks coming up from Mexico, are the poor, less educated and
have, (they believe), exhausted all their options, (down there), and are
willing to illegally cross the border in order to find greener pastures.
That pasture is us!

Fact is, most do find greener pastures! So in a way, you kinda can't blame
them. I don't condone their illegal crossing over or negatively and
affecting our labor market, (taking away our jobs), but truth is, corporate
America, (our bosses and their bosses, and small enterprise as well as large
company's, are to blame, more so than we tax paying lower and middle classed
peoples to blame.)

It's the blame game politically, but economically, it's those who have the
power to hire that are the problem. Our own neighbors, or family members, or
local capitalists our your communities are willing to cut his or her costs
by saving money in order to compensate someone to do a job cheaper than what
they would otherwise ordinarily pay a legal citizen to do; so in essence,
it's cheating their own fellow countrymen.

Such disgraces, but honestly, what can you do? Who do you blame? The
entrepreneur for trying to keep his business thriving and survive by
managing business costs, or the large corporation for that matter? Or blame
our politicians for not cracking down on the businesses for hiring them, or
our government for not building a big enough wall at the border?

Truth is; we're all to blame. But you can also blame the illegals too. They
are, after all, entering a country illegally, and they have a conscience and
know they're in the wrong, so truthfully, all of us are to blame.

Aside from the political drama surrounding the situation, the people, for
the most part, are really good people, who have good hearts, and mean well
for themselves and their families. For many of them, it's simply survival
and trying to provide for their families. Morally, can you blame them?
Hardly; fact is, we are obligated to help our neighbors and citizens, even
if they're from other nationalities and cultures. It's a moral obligation if
nothing less. But that's a whole new can of worms and subject matter. This
is an extremely controversial subject and the matter is always going to be a
current event.

As far as the letter's, you're always welcome to use them. I'd be glad to be
interviewed, if you have a radio broadcast. I think a nationalized dating
show, would be a great project. There's none that I'm aware of on free
radio. Perhaps satellite has something, but not free air radio, that's
nationalize, that I'm aware of.

Doctor Drew with (Loveline), has the only closest nationally syndicated show
that I'm aware of, and it's about STD's, and relationship problems for
younger people, more than dating and courting issues.

Your audience would be primarily males, all aged demographic, and you would
always have controversy issues, which make for good ratings, and you could
always use feminism and cultural morality, divorce, (the costs of divorce
legal issues), family custody of children, cheating, and murder, as a basis
for conflict regarding dating and the surrounding drama thereof.

The show would always be a hit. Tom Lykis,(Google him), has come close to my
idea, but he's pretty set in his ways regarding demeaning women. That makes
his production a hit, but it might not help you. His audience isn't always
appealing to all men, or women for that matter. You'd always have conflict,
and your production would get good advertising clients because the numbers
would indicate good ratings in the alloted time slot, no matter the market
broadcasts.

Women have to be heard, and we need to address dating for men, and a local
and national radio would be great!

Just my two cents...

JD