Intro and requests for info

[Jay]

HI!

3 years ago I discovered this site and thought 2 things...... Please read on and don't get hung up on number 2 below

1) It has a whole lot of content that I had already thought myself, even though I was very relationally inexperienced and had never been (still have never) outside of the US.
2) While it does indeed speak to true and real problems in the US society, I thought (and in some of these aspects, still think) it is also extremely and fundamentally biased, cynical, self-limiting, immature, negative, poorly presented and backed up with fallacies in logic, and does not at all focus on anything productive to addressing these problems in this society (abandoning it for greener pastures is making the social problem worse, not improving it). At that time, 3 years ago, I forgot all about it and moved on in pursuit of the American woman.

With fierce confidence, determination, and faith in myself, I set out to get into the experience of the American woman. This lead into a relationship, followed by cold-hearted rejection, followed by a repetition of this, and a number of other interactions with ladies which went nowhere fast... sort of like skipping the relationship and going right to rejection mode.

As a man in my 30's, with an athletic, muscular build, decent looks, many achievements, focused on health, spiritually inclined, intuitive and in touch with my feelings and inclined to treat women with respect and kindness, I can not at all relate to the rather pitiful description of the self that I see described here in some of the posts and articles. In fact, one might imagine I should do well in the relationship world in the U.S., and in fact I find it extremely easy to start conversations with very good looking women in America and even get phone numbers - sometimes I don't even have to try, and I have even had a few women ask ME for MY number. Sure I have a low income and live at a low standard and traveling is more important to me than owning a car, but I am kind and inspired and inclined to do lots of volunteer work - seems like it should all even out.

However, after 3 years in this cycle, I begin to see that I was wrong and you are right. If I am to be absolutely honest, I have to admit that relationships here have gone absolutely nowhere for me. I have spent 3/4 of the last 3 years single, companion-less, and sexless, and have been rejected more times than I care to count. I have given beyond what was probably reasonable and it was not enough. I have even challenged myself to respond with love and understanding as women suddenly did a 180 degree switch and coldly rejected me, looking at me like an alien when just a week before, I was the most "wonderful, perfect guy" for them. I have come to see that, with American women, it seems as if it is not worth the effort that it takes to get past the so called "number-close". I have had too admit that I am confused and clueless as to how to function with women in this social atmosphere.

I have come to the crude and difficult position of having to accept that the social scene, and especially the relationship scene, is extremely bleak at best here, in what seems like a very lonely nation (saying that with no direct experience at all of other nations). An endless cycle of meaningless, non-committal dating experiments, meaningless sex, and breakups seems commonplace, and even that is not really an easy thing to get into - it takes a heck of a lot of pursuit and effort for a man to even get into that painful experience.

I find myself, a person who places a profound reverence on health and life, flirting with, or even what feels like pandering and fawning over women who are very attractive, but who abuse themselves with alcohol, tobacco, or use men like toilet paper, seem to want men who use them like toilet paper, or who seem totally disinterested in even talking with me, or who need alcohol to break their own social barriers... women who I should not even be wasting my time talking with at all, but should instead have compassion for as I let them down and tell them that I am not interested in them, and yet I can not even get a date with these women, much less a relationship! Not even with drunks and smokers!

It often feels like I simply lack the social technology to break down the barriers, inhibitions, and fears - it is like one needs some sort of advanced social skills and pick up skills... and needs to have that rock solid every day they are under the woman's scrutiny. However, I am just a human like anyone else - I have regular human issues and insecurities and in a relationship, I try to just figure it out as I go along and be authentic about my inner struggles and such... but this seems to not fly at all in this society, where the women seem to want a perfect man who has it all figured out and has the perfect social skills and perfect answer at all times. Being accepted for who you are is a no more than ridiculous fantasy from my experience.

I have many gifts to offer which are going to waste on unavailable, non committal, flippant American women.


So, I am coming to see that I would indeed like to try to see if my fantasy notion of a better life actually exists somewhere on the Earth. A place where the women are women, the men are men, and people actually want committed relationships, the women actually need men, the men actually need women, and no one is afraid to admit it, and no one needs to run master game or have the perfect personality, or the perfect looks for that matter, and where there is a decent social life. [Edit several months later: I found the place - pretty much any country outside of the USA... but I'm also done with this website, as I have new found appreciation for how screwed up the mentality of a lot of the posters is and how easy it is to fall into or get sucked into it]



A little about what I am interested in:

Locations: A place where it is easy to stay for an extended time and the American dollar has a much greater buying power than their money (so France or Italy would be out, for example, but S. America, some of Euro and SE Asia would be good). A place where I can live comfortably with no automobile on 1,000 USD per month.

I am especially interested in S. America and some countries in Europe, such as Hungary and Czech, because they have mountains, climates I like. Please offer all the feedback you can on these places. As for SE Asia, if there is a country where the women and the mountains and climate are good, then fire away, but that is not the Philippines. I do not go for tropical.

1) Language: at least intermediate Eng
2) Looks: a voluptuous figure.
3) Outdoors activity - I want a woman who either goes on outdoors excursions with me or at least allows me to go mountaineering and such myself.
4) Health - no interest whatsoever in party girls, alcohol, drug scene, or fat, lazy, fast foodies. I want to be able to meet her in a healthy setting like a store or work or church or volunteer project and make an easy natural connection without alcohol, clubs, or parties. I can not stand these environments that the US is so dependent upon.


Thrilled to get any feedback I can and sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass! Feel free to PM me, or post here.

if this is the wrong thread for these kind of questions, please refer me to the right one.

~Jay

[Winston]

Wow Jay, that was one of the most touching posts I ever read. Damn. I hope you don't mind me adding it to my fan letters page.

You have a lot of guts to come out and admit you failed with AW and tell it like it is. Most people cannot do that. They either deny it or brag and cover up their faults because we are taught never to expose any weaknesses or failures.

I also applaud your insight in being able to see the truth for what it is and realize the illusion and propaganda of what you've been taught by our culture.

You're taken the first step toward a better path, my friend

By doing so, you've opened up your doors to 200 other countries, which is a huge step. It's not just a huge step physically, but a huge step in awareness and consciousness as well, which is what it takes to think or pursue something that's "outside the box" and not approved of in mainstream culture and media.

But hey, at least you've taken the "red pill". And you see the light, and realize that continuing in futility would be tantamount to madness. As Marcus Aurelius said, "the object of life is not to agree with the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane".

Anyhow, welcome to the forum, and I'm glad you finally decided to post after 3 years.

My site has changed a lot since then, in case you haven't noticed.

To inspire and validate you that you're on the right track, see these testimonials from others that I've collected both from this forum and from fan letters:

http://www.happierabroad.com/testimonials.php

And also see these comments from people who have dated abroad and noticed the difference and would never want to go back.

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page74b.htm

Understand that just about every guy who's dated both in the US and abroad unanimously agrees that foreign women are better. That should tell you a lot right there.

Now, as to your questions, well people can give you general ideas, but everyone vibes with different countries and cultures differently. There's also luck, timing, karma, and intangible factors involved too.

The only way to really know is to try different countries and get a feel for them. That will expand and broaden your view and perspective, and as that happens, you know better and better where you fit in.

As for me, for instance, I've only been to 12 countries. And my advisor Ladislav has only been to 30 countries. But there are 200 countries out there. You simply can't try them all out, at least not in depth. The only thing you can do is follow your gut, with a little informed knowledge, and let instinct guide you in time.

Right now I'm in the Philippines. But how do I know whether I wouldn't be happier somewhere else? I don't. But I'm happy here, I vibe well here, have good luck, and satisfied, and get my fantasies fulfilled. There are pros and cons to being here, like anywhere else. But I'm much much happier than in the US, and that's the important thing.

And that's pretty much all you can do. Do some research, then use your knowledge, logic and instincts at the same time, making them work together, to find the best route. Just do your search or research, and your answers will come at the right time.

But whatever the case, one thing's for certain. Whether you find "the one" or have a long string of dates overseas, you are sure to say that the women and dating experiences overseas are FAR BETTER than the disappointing ones in the states.

That's my advice for now. Others can chime in.

Anyway, welcome aboard

PS - Yeah you can ask questions anywhere on this board, not just in the "Ask Questions" board. The rules here are very lax. So don't worry about it.

[momopi]

Hello Jay,

Have you considered India?

[Jay]

@ Winston: Sounds like you are saying just go for it and learn by experience. That's my style, so I'll do that.

I gotta say that I see a lot of negative people posting here who sound like they have the world falling down around them and don't seem to understand that life, and what happens in it, is 90%+ conscious choice and based in attitude. Being ignorant of that (and many people are), one's situation will not improve one bit in this state or that state, one job or another, or one culture or another - the shitty self-limiting attitude goes with the person and I feel sorry for the men who go abroad with that attitude. Also, the women are not "different" here or there - It is not the people that change with place - humans are the same fundamentally everywhere, it is the social, cultural conditioning and hence norms and mores and to some extent behaviors that change with place.

Having said that, I can empathize and relate with the complaints about experiences in relationships here in the states... I am good looking, athletic, hard working, positive, gregarious, social, kind, and yet I am lucky to get a woman to give me the time of day here.... I can get a dozen numbers or facebooks in a week and never a one lead to so much as a date. I can get into a relationship only to be coldly rejected at the drop of a hat. Any attempts to be honest about my intentions (commitment) or my real self (just as naturally screwed up as the next person) leads to instant rejection.

To be honest, I am so tired of it I don't want to bother anymore, it's like an endless waste of time and energy to even bother and the time when I really believed in it and had a positive attitude about it is now just a memory... and with that attitude, what little chance I have here is gone, because one's attitude creates their reality. I lack the stamina to continue in the endless cycle of meaningless dating.

Having said that, back to the solution focus, moving forward: You have laid down the challenge to explore and experience and I accept. A man does not climb mt Everest by reading about it, he flies to Nepal and climbs the mountain.

Looking forward to more feedback regarding places - My interest is the places I mentioned, but I don't want to bother going where Americans are disliked, or where Western men have no chance with local women - such a place would not be good to live in or find work in etc... either.

[Mr S]

Try to find a Provincial Russian city that is near the mountains and like. I don't know if you saw that show where the two guys biked through Europe, Russia, Mongolia and some other countries. (I forgot the name of it) There are many cities in Russia surrounded by natural landscape and beauty. They may not be as big as the eastern cities bordering Europe, but I'm sure it would be easy to meet and date girls if you were living there. Or you could go to South America some where. SE Asia has a lot to offer but may not have the mountain sizes you are seeking.

Korea and China have large mountain ranges also and parts of Japan as well. You can find teaching jobs easily in China and Korea to support yourself and save money. Russia has lots of teaching jobs also but they don't pay as much so it's harder to get by unless you have some kind of additional income.

[Winston]

Hi again Jay,

In regard to India, I'm sure it's a great place for culture, spirituality, philosophy, meeting great friends and socializing with intelligent people of a spiritual focus. But dating? I was told by Indian friends that in India, girls only befriend other girls and boys only befriend other boys, before marriage. So it's not that the girls aren't friendly there, I'm sure they are. It's just inappropriate in the culture to "befriend" a girl or hang out with her alone, nevermind dating her.

As to the negativity on this forum, you are right in that too much negativity is not a healthy thing. But neither is suppressing it and pretending that you're having a great day everyday when you aren't (as American office workers do everyday). Sometimes being able to vent and release one's frustrations and anger, in a healthy constructive way, through writing for example, is a good healthy thing. Beats violence doesn't it?

The truth is, life has both positive and negative aspects. One should not only focus on one side or the other but learn to balance or integrate both.

What's important here, as you've already admitted, is that the negativity toward American culture and women here, is justified and based on REAL things, not imagined ones.

Yes attitude is important. But don't fall into the New Age trap of thinking that 90 percent of our results come from our attitude. That's not true. If it were, I'd never get any negative results simply by thinking positively about everything. Real life doesn't work like that. I've tried it many times. Like you, I felt good about myself, I was fun, happy and likable, but women in the US still gave me the run around. Like you, they'd give me their numbers, act interested, then flake out and screen out my calls. It doesn't matter what I did. It doesn't matter if I had a great attitude or not, for the END RESULT WAS THE SAME.

To me, it sounds like you are still indoctrinated into the belief that if one is positive with a good attitude, then one gets good results. That is true for some things. For example, if I sit down with a hundred piece jigsaw puzzle and have a positive attitude about completing it, I will complete is much faster with much more enjoyment than if I had a negative attitude toward it. But dating is another matter. The US dating field is dysfunctional, unnatural, and built on lies and illusions. One cannot conquer it simply by having the right attitude.

There are things we can control and there are things we can't. Wisdom is knowing how to tell the difference.

I don't agree with you that women are the same everywhere. They are the same in some ways but not others. In other countries they are friendlier and more approachable and treat men better, for instance. Just because they have the same biological makeup doesn't make them the same. But "same" is a subjective word and it depends on what you mean by it.

As to whether "loser guys" will get the same results anywhere they go, that has already been disproven. Did you read the testimonials I linked to you in my first response above?

It really depends on WHY the guy can't get dates in the US. If he really has a shitty abusive personality, then yeah that will ruin or taint all his relationships, unless he is rich enough to keep certain types of girls who are controllable by money around him. But if he's like me, a nice decent guy who doesn't have the looks or status to get American women, than that's a different matter. With location, such types like me attain different status and get different results.

You gotta take all that into consideration.

Here's one example. In America, my slanted eyes make me look geeky and foreign and oriental. But in the Philippines, girls love slanted eyes, they want their kids to have them. They are a mark of beauty. Almost every girl I meet here says she likes my eyes. So, something that made me less attractive in the US made me more attractive in the Philippines. See how that works?

That has nothing to do with any "loser attitude".

Plus in America I'm considered too short to be "dating material", whereas here, I am not.

But as you said, even if you have the looks that America girls want, they can still drop you at the drop of a hat, just because they feel like it. It's like nothing means anything there.

I hope you ponder the above and factor it into your world view of everything.

[Winston]

Try to find a Provincial Russian city that is near the mountains and like. I don't know if you saw that show where the two guys biked through Europe, Russia, Mongolia and some other countries. (I forgot the name of it) There are many cities in Russia surrounded by natural landscape and beauty. They may not be as big as the eastern cities bordering Europe, but I'm sure it would be easy to meet and date girls if you were living there. Or you could go to South America some where. SE Asia has a lot to offer but may not have the mountain sizes you are seeking.

Korea and China have large mountain ranges also and parts of Japan as well. You can find teaching jobs easily in China and Korea to support yourself and save money. Russia has lots of teaching jobs also but they don't pay as much so it's harder to get by unless you have some kind of additional income.

Yeah I would look into that region, especially areas like Kazahkstan and Krygyzstan. Those are nice areas for meeting women and relatively undiscovered, and near mountain ranges too.

Also consider the border between China and Russia, where there are both Chinese women and Russian women, so you have a mixture of both worlds and races. Supposedly, Eastern Russia is more humble and has better values.

Generally, try to stay away from touristy areas, for they attract greedy materialistic types.

[Winston]

Jay, for your inspiration...


http://www.happierabroad.com/testimonials.php

Testimonials and Reviews of Happier Abroad and Ebook

(Sources linked where possible)

"I want everyone on this site to know that Winston is 100% right. I have lived abroad and seen the difference in my social life, in how it made me feel inside; and I've also seen the antisocial lame-ass dating scene in the US, and how it undermines a man's confidence and inhibits his ability to simply be himself. It is an absolute shame, and no man should have to live that way... Thanks for a great site Winston. You're doing a service to all American guys by exposing the limited possibilities for happiness and social connection in the US." - Merc

"I've never been to the Philippines, Winston, but after spending a month in Thailand I'm willing to believe everything you say about it... That was my first trip abroad, Winston, and it has convinced me that your position that Western guys can have a better life in other countries is absolutely correct." - Merlin

“I was very nervous around women... I traveled to Asia and within a week I learned that I am really only abnormally nervous around American women... What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an entirely different species... It's one of those things you have to experience to fully understand." - Jack

"I went to SE Asia 3 months ago, My Social life went from 0 to Rockstar overnight. America is a dead place, Just GO and get on that airplane. Life is better abroad." - Taogarrett

"I blamed myself for my lack of success with American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself... and I was still getting rejected by women who had no business being picky!... So then I did some traveling to Hungary, the Czech Republic, andthe Philippines , and beautiful young women couldn't keep their hands off of me! Dating is like real estate- the 3 most important factors are location, location, location!" - Hero

"I appreciate Winston doing this site because frankly, I know he's right. Before I moved abroad my social life in the US was a 2 out of 10 (at best). When I moved abroad all that changed dramatically, and I made true friends and dated gorgeous women." - Merc

"Photos prove everything they backup the talk. You walk the talk so to speak and very few of these other men on these Blogging sites can ever claim this not even the agency owners whom many are scamming many men." - Derek, WA

"I would recommend this website to anyone, HappierAbroad.com, created by Wu, a genius at any rate. He's someone who's actually gonna show you proof. All these other websites you go to, they really don't show you anything. His ebook has changed my view of American culture 180 degrees." - Kairosan's video review

"Your book has exposed me to a paradigm shift with regard to dating. My collection of dating / seduction books is now merely a repository of rubbish." - Jelani, NY

"After reading all your ebooks and following your advice to visit Lithuania I did and met the love of my life. I really give you credit because you are 100% right... I would also like to let you know that I am getting married in MAY 2008. Keep up the good work Winston you do inspire people." - Fan Mail

"Sir, first off, let me tell you in one word what I thought of your e-book... OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!!!! I'm currently reading it right now and it is great!!!" - Darryl, NY, Retired Air Force

"Hello Winston:
I am reading your revised, updated book as of August 2009, and I must say that so far it's are real eye-opener... good job on your ebook. You are a brilliant orator and you are very good at articulating in succinct detail the plight of men today. Keep up the good work." - Steve, OH

"Winston's blogs and photojournals are epic! I have a new internet hobby now: reading Winston's stories.
I'm moving to St Petersburg in the new year and as I was researching I came across Happier Abroad, and I couldn't agree more with the overall message... Winston is absolutely right from my experiences. I had to go somewhere and then come back to see the light, but I definitely see it." - Unnamed from Canada

"After a few days, I noticed something different about me when I looked in the mirror. My eyes were no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired." - Ladislav, my cultural advisor

"Having been in band, I've done well with women in America, but I am very well traveled outside the US and only the blind could not see that what you say is true." - Ken

"SWEET website. WOW! Inspiring, useful, fun. Fascinating to see the reactions of your readers! As one pointed out, you really are a leader. Unusually truthful and courageous." - Jester, CA

"It's such a wonderful time in my life and YOU are the person I thank for this guidance and for making HappierAbroad.com and giving lonely guys everywhere a chance at solutions and cures to datelessness and hope to having a life that is fullfilled overseas. I'm so excited and so happy now Winston." - Dwayne, NY

"Thank you Winston for all of your help. Your knowledge and experiences are inspirational and GOLDEN and you are well liked and honored by MANY. Keep up the good work my friend. You're doing EXCELLENT !!!" - Dwayne, NY

"I thank you Winston from the bottom of my heart for showing me and other lonely men THE WAY to PARADISE... Those seduction books I use to buy are total GARBAGE compared to what YOU'VE proven and you put PUA artist and experts to complete shame with SIMPLICITY and REAL PROVEN SOLUTIONS WINSTON..." - Dwayne, NY

"A GREAT WEB SITE! Thanks for the many hours of work it took to put together. Also I curse you for the many hours I'll spend reading it all. Thanks again." - Ross

"You are an infinite inspiration to me and I feel tremendous admiration to the fact that you actually put your dream into reality!!!" - James, Canada

"After months and months of observing your views and actually reading through your articles, and experiencing various American people, I made a conclusion that you are correct and I fully agree with your views... Thanks for your enlightening articles." - Fan Mail

"Winston talks the talk, and he walks the walk. Thats more then can be said for most. Kudos Winston." - Grunt

"I have been reading the stories and adventures of Winston, and like the rest of you I'M IMPRESSED!!!… I am striking out on a BOLD and NEW path for my life such as Winston did... I love how he persevered and finally got the girl of his dreams. WAY TO GO WINSTON..."
- Edward Kingsley

"Everything you wrote in your treatise is precisely to the point… It took me a while to realize that there was a chasm of difference between the media picture of America and real life, but when the truth hit home, I felt very disappointed and empty. I even had a lapse of self-condemnation as I thought the problem was in me. I have gotten over it now and can see clearly. Your writing puts all the pieces of the puzzle together very well." - Yuri, Russian immigrant

"I cannot express in words how impressed I am by your work and how accurate and true you are to yourself. I have lived in the US for 13 years now, and I can't but agree with every single word you wrote… Congratulations again on a job well done!!!!!" - Fan Mail

"Dear Winston, I have just read your article Propaganda vs. real life in America. I only wish I could be so eloquent - its as if you have been reading my thoughts. I came here for over 20 years ago searching for the stars with my 2 kids." - Celia

"Your website truly is a treasure! It's making me more self-aware in areas that I may have been slipping into "typical American mode" in, and is opening my mind even more." - Megan, WY

"Your ebook was refreshing. I thought I was the only one who thought this way about American social climate." - Fan Mail

"You inspire me! Never change!!" - Cathal

"This guy is a legend… Read his long story and the photos (including the albums) and you will be amazed… my hero" - Allan

"You are a champ. Most of us, even if we did find the holy grail would either be too selfish or more likely shy and embarassed to ever come out publicly the way you have. Your generosity of spirit is truly amazing." - John, New Zealand

"YOU ARE MY HERO TOO. Here I am with clinical depression feeling like I'm wasting my year after college and its honestly giving me hope browsing your photo collages and seeing that happiness is definitely possible, no matter who you are." - Karen, Stanford, CA

"I'm currently 17 years old and like you I am a Chinese American. I love the ebooks you have online and I really enjoy hearing about your success with white women abroad. I have a research paper on "my hero" and I choose to do my report on you and your success." - Joseph, USA

"You are a hero for the underdog, proving that with balls and determination you can find fun, sex, love, and happiness…" - Jeff, Atlanta

"Winston the reason you are successful is that you admitted there was a problem and went outside the box to get what you want. Most people settle for what life puts right in front of them." - Jeff, Atlanta

"Winston you're one of the few people who will tell it like it is, even if it makes yourself look bad. I give you that. Most guys brag and BS and deny their faults. Like Dwight (our mutual friend) if you say something happened, it happened. And like him, you don't just talk about it, you DO IT." - Jeff, Atlanta

"I visited your website, happierabroad.com, and I agree with everything you write. You are my hero! You have spoken truths that many men do not understand. You have broken ground that many men have not... You are an inspiration!" - Mark, Washington DC

"The stuff you recommend, winston, has always managed to utterly CHANGE MY LIFE. thank you for being an inspiration. you will never know how much it means to me!!!" - Elizabeth, Orange County, CA

"I love rebels and free spirits, I really do. And that's why I like Wu so much. There are so many people who turn into depressed potatoes in the USA. They just sit there and get more and more depressed. And if you don't fit in, they just label you a "loser". Wu didn't just sit down and take that. Wu rebelled against that." - Luke

"I believe in Wu. Wu was right about the Polish girls and them being really friendly and giggling and blushing. Wu was right about being able to go over to the girls' tables and immediately go and sit with them. Wu was right about the society being more open in Poland than in America. WU WAS RIGHT!!! ... Wu is trying to help other people's lives. And he helped my life because I stumbled upon his website and read his stuff and I was inspired in part by his website to try Poland. AND IT WORKED!!!!! WU WAS RIGHT!!!! WU WAS CORRECT!!!" - Luke

"I've had a bunch of other people validate what Wu says in general about European Culture. The last guy I talked with posted that message about Spain and the women he met. He too is confirming what Wu has said." - Geoff, CO

"Just thought I'd say hi and tell you how much your writing inspired me... I think people "need" to read what you've written" - Joan, USA

"Winston you are now an Asian American Moses, and you are leading your people out of the "captivity" of boredom, loneliness, lovelessness and datelessness to the various promised lands of milk and honey, many honeys that is and milk is to come later. Lol." - Ladislav, my cultural advisor

"People can be divided into three groups
Those who make things happen
Those who watch things happen
And those who wonder what happened
You are in the first group Winston"
- Ernie, San Diego, CA

"Despite all the flak you get you are certainly an interesting character and probably the most famous (or infamous) self-made asian on the internet" - Rob, USA

"You're probably the most atypical Asian male I've ever met." - Peter, an old Scottish traveler I met in Estonia who's been to nearly 100 countries

"Most Asians don't think for themselves. They simply follow the pack. You are an exception." - Jean, CO

"I enjoy your writing and you are one of the most inspiring dudes around. Main thing is you don't give a shit what other people (especially white) say about you - highly unusual, unfortunately, for any race of people, Chinese especially. So your stuff is absolutely awesome." - John, USA

"Winston, I am amazed at your ability to attract women that are much more attractive than yourself. I wish I had more of your magic. I consider myself much more attractive than you, but you seem to do better with the ladies. What is your secret?"
- Fan Mail

"To be honest with you Winston, I think almost all of the girls you hit on (and many of them you scored) are all very hot. This makes me wonder how you did it, especially the fact that you're an oriental. I know some guys who have a lot more than you, but they can't do anywhere near what you did (in terms of girls of course)." - Fan Mail

"I do support your adventures and would to commend you for doing what many guys are far too chickens*** and cowardly to do ..so my hat is off to you and I would like to hear more about your times abroad." - LE

"Your tenacity is astounding. All the stuff you went through. Most people would have given up." - Geoff, CO

[Jay]

Hello,

Wonderful feedback. I have added a few more places to my list.


Winston,
you said
"It's like nothing means anything there (meaning in the US).

Though a lot of things mean a lot to me, like the idea of commitment, family, and the institution of marriage, among so many other things, I have to agree that when it comes to relationships, it is like nothing means a thing in this society in general. It is pretty insane and I am reminded of it on a daily basis.

Well intended, decent men are viewed as desperate or pathetic or scary and not even given a chance, because they have not followed the woman's idea of proper methodology to express interest (whatever that is) or some other equally irrelevant and ridiculous, fear based excuse. People are routinely dropped (men and women alike) for someone else who seems better. People are routinely dropped over petty criteria or in favor of a career or travels. This goes on for women until they get to be in about 28-32, at which time they begin to become desperate for a real, committed relationship, family, wanting kids, and seriously frustrated with the perpetual trap of singledom that they have created for themselves, and find themselves wondering what ever happened to marriage... Loneliness sets in and they frequently get companionship from a dog or a cat, like the latest woman I wasted my time with here in the states.

Then, I hypothesize that just maybe, a small percentage of them come to see what they threw away when they were younger, and now they are ready to think about getting real, but by that time they have become egocentric, individuated, and heavily influenced by the masculine energy coursing through them living in this upside down, feminist society, that they can not do what they need to do - just be a woman. If they are still unmarried after that age, then it seems to become a "who gives a f**k" attitude and they just pursue sex freely and as much as possible, or seek a man to date who has a pile of money or other selling point, unconcerned about any notions of commitment or relationships.... when what was needed was for people to make a commitment early in life and make it work no matter what.

Divorce, even with children, has become an expectation here, it is quite commonplace. It is like the idea of family has even disintegrated into meaningless shit.

Occasionally I meet a functionally, loving family that still lives together after the kids are grown and it is like a ray of light and a breath of fresh air in a quagmire, so refreshing.... like a glimmer of hope for humanity. When I meet them, I wonder how they did it, when I have found it difficult to get past the phone number, then I decide again to forget about it, I can't worry about that. I should ask them that when I meet people like that (it is very rare).

Just my critique on what I see.

As for women being or not being different - fundamentally, all humans are the same everywhere, driven by the same foundation of core human processes - desires, fears, doubt, craving, aversion, anger, peace, conflict whatever.... I have already confirmed this through experience. What changes are behaviors, expectations, etc... based on social conditioning. Social conditioning/circumstances is pretty screwed in America, and I hear it is pretty good in some other nations. So, yes I obviously believe that these things are very different somewhere else and I theorize (I hope) this could make relationships MUCH easier, but fundamentally they are still human, with the same feelings, and capable of all the human things. That's what I meant.

Looking forward to more suggestions for places and related info.

[Jay]

Well,

I just got done with another week of wasting my time with women here in ye good old United States.

One wants to convert me into a mormon,

another is ready for meaningless sex and want's to hang out but has no interest in marriage or family and she complains constantly about the weather (?!?!?!),

and the third? A wild person who is also ready for sex and meaningless dating and not interested in commitment, but also uses drugs, drinks, etc... into her 30's

Yet again, I have lost hope in American women and consider whether there really is any greener grass or if that is all a delusion.

Tempted to start having sex with 3 of them at the same time just because I so easily can. If none of them want to do anything real, may as well enjoy the pathetic ride.

Guys, sex is readily available to me, but I am not interested in meaningless sex, I am interested in commitment and accountability - a place where things like relationships in general, and family, still means something, but where a man does not need to be perfect, rich, or blessed in order to experience it. And that is so clearly not the United States. Throw in some mountains and that could be an OK place for me. Any ideas?

[Winston]

Better reconsider India. Mr. S just got back from there and has a lot of shit to say about it.

In the US I wouldn't mind having meaningless sex, as long as she was attractive. But if you're Asian and every girl rejects you cause of your race, even if she has a lot in common with you, it just feels so futile. Dating in the US for me was like Gilligan and his friends trying to get off that island, and failing each time cause it's in the script. That's exactly how it was like.