Is International Dating For Losers?

Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

jamesbond wrote:
WWu777 wrote:Hey Jamesbond, do you remember the V series? I got it on DVD now from the mall. That Diana was sooooooooooooooooooo HOT!
I don't remember that V series. I have heard about it but never saw any episodes.
W: Well you can see the original TV movie on Youtube. Just search for "V" or something. You will really like it. Trust me. And Diana is soooooooooooo HOT!
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Ice-Inc
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Post by Ice-Inc »

WWu777 wrote:
W: Possibly, but not necessarily. If you have a lot of dating experience like I do, you can tell when a girl REALLY likes you. There are many clues and signs. Taste is personal. It ain't all about the money. In my experience, it's those with little experience with women who think that it's all about the money.
Winston, my post will probably be the last on your "FORUM", as after having to battle through your full page COMPULSORY ADS umpteen times to get to this particular post of yours, I have come to the conclusion you create hatred from others towards yourself by and with your own behaviour.

This hatred you continually face in the USA or European countries, that you call your "LOSER STATUS" is of your own making.

Regarding money, e.g. Pesos 1000 that you write about below, which I believe is US$20, this is a paltry amount, just today I gave US$10 to a beggar that I see in an area that I visit every week or fortnight. Usually I give US$5 to this beggar everytime I see him but doubled it because Christmas is just around the corner.

Speaking for myself, I would ask any girl that behaved in the way you have described below is to get lost very quickly :)

Having said this, I have more experience dating and mating with quality non hooker girls than you can ever imagine. Never have I ever conducted myself the way you do nor any of the girls I dated have behaved how your "Filipina Girlfriend" behaves.

Here is your own post from a couple of days ago that confirms your "LOSER" status continues in the Phiilipines:


WWu777 wrote: Dear all,

Sorry to rant about my relationship again. But this one takes the cake.

What do you do if you have a girlfriend whose greed gets so out of control that it interferes with her own judgment, reasoning, and sense of reality?!

A few days ago when we were at the mall, Dianne wanted to buy some new jeans and new shirt. Since we were there for other reasons, and since I had already spent more than DOUBLE what my conscience says that I should spend for clothes on her, and since we were on a tight budget, I told her no and that maybe some other time.

She got moody and angry, and put a guilt trip on me to try to make me feel bad. She doesn't usually do this, so I don't know why she started to do this now. It wasn't right, and it wasn't proper behavior. During the past two years, I've spent hundreds of dollars on clothes for her, sometimes frivolously, against my own conscience, and I felt that it was enough. We shouldn't have buy new clothes every time we go to the mall! Plus I had to pay rent, utility bills, her allowance, help her family with food expenses, our baby's doctor and medicine expenses, etc. etc. that was draining my account balance. I simply needed to control any unnecessary spending, especially those that involved over a thousand pesos.

Then the next day, after we took our baby for a vaccination, we headed toward the market to buy her shrimp and fruits to mash for the baby to eat. Along the way though, she asked me when I would give her a thousand pesos for her advance allowance. (I no longer officially give her an allowance, but in her mind, I still do, since that's what she wants badly, very badly) I knew that she needed it to give to her family for their food expenses. Getting fed up with her pestering me with money ALL the time, and her acting like I owed her money and that I was obligated to her request, I replied, "I don't know and I didn't say that I was going to give you a thousand pesos". At that, she became moody again and wanted to go home. I told her I wanted to get the fruit for the baby to eat first, but she wanted to jet off anyway. And so she did, without her shrimp and the baby's fruit. I couldn't believe how immature she still was, and how she had no respect for my wishes or choices. And how she would not listen to reason.

First, I don't like her tone in that when she asks me for something, she acts like I am obligated to agree with it, as though I already said yes when I didn't. To me, that's a form of mind control, asking for something while acting as though you've already been given a yes answer, in an attempt to get your way (this in fact is a common form of Filipino mind control). Second, I don't like constantly having to give free money to her family all the time, every week and every month. Me and my family have already given TONS of money to them, and it's never enough. They never stop asking and needing. And you are NEVER supposed to stop. My friend in Manila is fed up with this too. As he says, "they just take and take and take and get angry if you ever stop". Like me, he is naturally frugal too and hates it when Filipinos try to force us to "spend without limits".

Plus, a part of me considers it a waste to give free money to her family on a regular basis. To me a thousand pesos is a lot anyway. One of my friends from France even said that it's better to spend that money in a bar rather than give it to her family, because at least in the bar, you're getting something from the girls, whereas you don't get anything if you give it to her family. This is true. But when I told her this, she got mad and acted like I committed blasphemy. But I didn't care, since I'm tired of her falsely assuming that I owe her and her family.

And I hate how she keeps asking and taking without limits, while I'm trying to maintain a strict budget. It's like they expect you to "spend without limits" and impose it upon you. It's rude when they do that, but they do it anyway, cause their desire to RECEIVE is so great that it cancels out any logic and reason.

Another factor at work here is that I simply DO NOT FEEL GOOD when I give money to them. First of all, their morals are suspect, since I believe they attempted to con me out of a lot of money several times in the past, something my family would never do. So I do not feel that they are even good people, in my book. Second, they do not act kind, open and friendly either. They are not the kind of people that want to sit down and talk to me, listen to me, hear my problems, try to understand me, etc. When I visit a person, I want someone who will talk to me or listen to me and try to understand me. My friends here do that for me. But her family never talks or listens, has no conversation skills, does not try to understand me, etc. Instead, they just mind their own business, eat, sleep, clean the house, and hope to receive money from anyone they can. They act closed, selfish and primitive. I do not admire people like that. If they were kind and had high morals, I'd be happier giving them money to help, but they aren't. I don't like people whom I don't even feel comfortable talking to or having an open honest conversation with. Perhaps they are just different creatures, and that's why I feel this way.

I do have some Filipino friends here that I can talk to openly any time I want, who will listen to me, listen to my philosophical ruminations, complaints, questions, etc. And I am always happy to treat them or buy them drinks, even though they refuse. Because with them, I have a natural comfort zone. But with Dianne's family I do not feel a natural comfort zone that I feel with my friends. Instead, there is awkward silence as Dianne communicates between us. Her little sister Sarah is the only one I enjoy being around and feel comfortable around.

Besides, I am a person who hates waste, so I am very frugal. Every dollar I waste, in my view, should be better saved for my next trip overseas or something, not given to someone who doesn't even appreciate you.

Probably, I speculate, in their minds, I should help them with their expenses because they are taking care of my baby everyday. However, they are doing it without even asking my permission, giving me no say in the matter. And plus, I know for certain that they are taking care of the baby because they see him as part of THEIR FAMILY, and NOT, I repeat NOT because they want to help me personally! No way!

No, they don't do anything for me. They don't even talk to me, listen to me, or try to understand me like my friends do. There is no comfort zone or rapport with them. And Dianne expects me to give to them generously from my heart?! (as she puts it) That's very unrealistic.

Plus she knows very well that I am on a tight budget. It's been explained to her a bazillion times. But again, her desire to receive is so great that she forgets that of course. That explains why. Greed sends facts and logic out the window.

If I were making a salary of like $4000 a month, of course it'd be no problem for me to give $200 a month to help them. But if I'm making $100 a month, then to give them $200 a month would be letting them literally steal everything that I have.

But again, the desire to receive is so great that facts and logic go out the window.

So what should I do? How do you deal with someone who doesn't listen to reason, is motivated completely by the desire to receive, etc.? And who uses guilt and manipulation tactics to get their way?

I keep telling her to call her rich aunt in Canada to ask her to send money for food instead, but she won't do it and won't say why, or else she says that that aunt can't afford it anymore, which is bull. Anyone can afford $100 a month if they wanted to, especially if they are working full time in a Western country.

What should I do? What would you do? What do you do with someone who won't listen?

I mean, don't get me wrong, Dianne is great arm candy, which many people drool over when they see her. And she is very loyal, and is reasonably good at taking care of the baby and has solid mothering skills, even though she's often forgetful. But she has a bad and quick temper, has different values than me, is very lazy and has little energy and little patience, is wasteful, and very materialistic.

I do have some easy internet projects that I can have her do for me, to make her earn the thousand pesos she wants. But she has no patience for such things, is too lazy for that, and is stuck on receiving things in exchange for nothing. The princess mentality in her is very strong. Plus she is quick tempered, and blames that on me everytime I complain about it. It's a no win situation.

I recognize all her mind control tactics, and she knows that I recognize them, as I've told her that I'm an expert in brainwashing so don't try any of those tactics on me, but she doesn't care. To her, all that matters is what she RECEIVES in the form of money or gifts. That's the bottom line. As they say here, "money matters" and they mean that. What one RECEIVES here, is the highest attribute in the universe.

I don't know if this is true or not, but a restaurant manager here told me once that when a Filipina's parents find out that their daughter is dating a foreigner, the first thing they ask is, "What's he gonna do for US?"

I told her that if Albert Einstein were here, no one would care about his theories of relativity, gravity or time and space. Instead, all they'd care about was how GENEROUS he was and what they were going to RECEIVE from him.

That kind of sickens me. I keep telling her to try to be less materialistic, but she won't listen. And I keep asking her where I can find people here that have more spiritual aims in life. But she doesn't know. And doesn't care either. I guess though, that in this materialistic world, that's difficult.

It is an irony of course, that a country that is 99 percent Catholic is so materialistic, with "receiving" being the highest desire above all things. But that's life. And here, you aren't supposed to complain about things, or even analyze things, but just try to live with it.
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

Ice-Inc, if you want to leave this forum, then fine that's your choice. It's no big loss as you do not usually contribute anything meaningful or substantive here anyway. You do not uplift people nor do you bring wisdom here. Instead, you talk with a snobby attitude that's full of it. Nothing good comes from that.

The wise old expat I talked to the other day would agree. I can tell the difference between someone who is really wise and has a lot of life experience and whose learned from it vs someone who is full of it. Me and him have both met plenty of guys who are full of it and can identify them. You boast but have nothing to show for it. I've met such types before and they do turn out to be full of it.

Sorry I'm just speaking from experience and wisdom. A spade is a spade.

Also, if you're so weak that you can't even click the orange button at the top that says "Skip this Ad" ONCE a day, then you've got issues. I am overly sensitive to distractions, and even I can handle seeing a full page ad once a day and clicking the skip button.

Anyhow, so long and good luck.
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mobstersreport
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Post by mobstersreport »

Shokkers wrote:Life's actually a cycle of winning and losing when you think about it.

Everyone I look up to...Jesus, Buddha, Churchill, Poe, Lincoln, Coverdale, etc., has had wins and losses. Truth be told, few people on earth will lose as many times as Lincoln did, but he's remembered for the wins.

There's only a few people I know of who seem to be charmed-life 'winners'--for example, Gene Simmons, and he's an obnoxious a**hole.

Mike Tyson WAS a winner, now he's $63 Million in debt.

Michael Jackson used to have the world on a string, now he's been smeared all over the place.

I think it's when people start calling you a 'winner' that you have to start saving your nickels and watching your back...'cause America loves 'winners', but it seems to love turning winners INTO losers even more.
Very good observation comment right there. I couldn't agree more.

When you become "Successful or Rich" people will call you "A Winner" but sooner or later into the future of a successful persons life. The more likely "jealousy" and "envy" comes along with the territory and people that once thought a successful person was great or a winner. Will then be smeared and painted to be a "loser" or "washed up has been".

But that just goes to show the true example that we cannot please everyone. :roll:

There's even people out there that will hate on a person for their successes and they need somebody to blame for their own failures in life. Because in essence. Those that are envious and jealous of a successful person or a winner. Will blame the other person for their own "misfortunes".
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Post by Shokkers »

mobstersreport wrote:
Shokkers wrote:Life's actually a cycle of winning and losing when you think about it.

Everyone I look up to...Jesus, Buddha, Churchill, Poe, Lincoln, Coverdale, etc., has had wins and losses. Truth be told, few people on earth will lose as many times as Lincoln did, but he's remembered for the wins.

There's only a few people I know of who seem to be charmed-life 'winners'--for example, Gene Simmons, and he's an obnoxious a**hole.

Mike Tyson WAS a winner, now he's $63 Million in debt.

Michael Jackson used to have the world on a string, now he's been smeared all over the place.

I think it's when people start calling you a 'winner' that you have to start saving your nickels and watching your back...'cause America loves 'winners', but it seems to love turning winners INTO losers even more.
Very good observation comment right there. I couldn't agree more.

When you become "Successful or Rich" people will call you "A Winner" but sooner or later into the future of a successful persons life. The more likely "jealousy" and "envy" comes along with the territory and people that once thought a successful person was great or a winner. Will then be smeared and painted to be a "loser" or "washed up has been".

But that just goes to show the true example that we cannot please everyone. :roll:

There's even people out there that will hate on a person for their successes and they need somebody to blame for their own failures in life. Because in essence. Those that are envious and jealous of a successful person or a winner. Will blame the other person for their own "misfortunes".
Thanks, MR. There are countless examples everywhere...right now the show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" is riding high in the news, and most people think of Jon as a 'celebrity' (for better or worse)...even though I personally think "You've gotta be HIGH, he's trapped in a house with 8 kids and a nagging wife." If they weren't making money via product placement or whatever, they'd be the equivalent of Appalachian Hillbillies.

One of my exes...when I was on my way out the door, called me a 'loser', and I said "All I'm losing is YOU, the dead weight in this relationship. I wrote the books, I produced the CDs, I'm in the movies...you haven't done SQUAT except when you got pregnant twice, and now you're a bitter single mom getting old. So who's a loser? Oh, excuse me, I can't hear you, I'm going out to meet my hot new girlfriend who's got a better body than you and DOESN'T have any kids."

The MGTOW site (Men Going Their Own Way) has a link saying "You should be Proud when western women call you a loser" (and it goes on to say "If they call you a loser, it means they can't EXPLOIT you.") And I thought, there's a ring of truth to that.
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track2004_400meters1
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this site is for winners too

Post by track2004_400meters1 »

a mistake?
Last edited by track2004_400meters1 on September 12th, 2009, 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by starkeep »

8) Does this society treally need to pay those basketball players and soap opra stars millions so they can leve in mansions? If i had my way there salery would be about the same as everyone elses.
fed up
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Post by elm118 »

This site isn't for losers...this site is for complainers! ha ha!
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Post by dano »

This site is for any guy thats willing to stand up for the values he believes in. You can only push someone around for so long before they fight back. The guys on this site demand friendly, loyal, beautiful women at bargin basement prices.
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Our life always has purpose in this cosmic universe

Post by firethrower1000 »

You know winston people like you and me are no different and we have some similarities...i for example had to go to america at least once in my lifetime in order to appreciate better what i already have in my years growing up in europe...Now, when it comes to you're situation i beleive that it was god's doing that lead you abroad...It would not have been you're destiny to be ignorant and never go abroad just to believe that nowhere is better than the US which is a lie and we all know it...God simply use people like you and me to achieve things through the knowledge we aquired with god's will...I realise that you may have suffered greatly growing up in the US just as i felt imprisoned and stripped of my right when i set foot on the (so called) Land of the Free...We all have to suffer at some point in our life but you can't say that nothing good comes out of it either...Being in america then going abroad was part of you destiny and thats that, you would never have been meant to remain in the US and die there...NO you know why? Because you're life ended happily ever after with Dianne and you're son....THAT'S WHAT COUNTS THE MOST NOW....NO one is perfect so how can anyone never be a loser and always be a winner it simply doesn't balance....You did the right choice for keeping positive and thinking outide of the box

CHECK this i think you'll find these words of wisdom interesting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jY9_PfW ... re=related
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

Excellent points and wisdom Loris. I was thinking the same thing.

You also see things from a metaphysical/existential viewpoint. And that's surprising for a young person.

The bad luck I had in the states, and even in Russia, often seemed scripted like it was designed and planned. The coincidences were just way too uncanny.

It's like watching Gilligan's Island and then after a while you realize that the bad luck they have in never getting off the island, even when they come close to doing so, cant be due to chance but must have been scripted. lol
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Post by outcastsuperstar »

A very rewarding episode to watch is Poindexters Revenge in the Tom Leykis Episode thread.

Today the young hardworking men of America may seem to be a loser in their 20's. Once they hit 30 and they have their act together, they got it made. All those women who wouldn't give these guys their time of day are bound to have to settle for low income men and cats while those so called "losers" will get to enjoy extremely beautiful 18-22 Foreign Born Women who don't have the nasty feminist attitude overseas.
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Post by Vicbowling »

You said it - Why would people think that men who travel are losers. It's a pretty weird idea they've gotten into their heads! At least men who travel have the money to travel!
MoscowSummerNights wrote:As usual an excellent post by Winston.

However...I would prefer if we did not perpetuate the ridiculous concept that American businessmen who jet-set around the world are anything but the opposite of losers.

In real life, an American man with a gorgeous young girlfriend or wife is LOOKED UP TO. I went to a CEO conference 2 years ago with a 25 year old in tow (wearing gorgeous dresses and evening gowns all the time)...and she and I were the hit of the conference.

In real life, your CEO salary goes UP if you have a gorgeous young wife or girlfriend.

It seems to only be an INTERNET concept that men who travel are losers.

The concept does not travel into the boardroom.

And there is a phenomenon on the Internet (blogosphere and comments sections of articles, etc) for the dumbest people (the real losers who spend too much time on the Internet) to simply repeate urban legends and prejudices on EVERY SUBJECT.

It is the Internet where losers hang out...and they will bash us more than anyone else would bash us.

I have been shocked about how, on the Internet, IMBRA is generally not found to be interesting by the majority of people who would have clearly seen me posting EVERYWHERE about how people need to fight a law that background checks men like us just for wanting to say hello to a foreign woman.

In real life, every American I meet in Europe who learns from me about IMBRA, goes into shock and says "WHY hasn't anyone CHALLENGED this ridiculous law?"

It is only on the Internet that nobody seems to want to challenge IMBRA. Sadly, the Internet is the only place I can really try to organize anything because I not longer LIVE in the USA among Americans, where I could go to a local law school and find someone to challenge IMBRA as part of a course project.

Obviously, the apathy online really does come from at least a subconscious prejudice against us...but it could also come from a subconscious ENVY of us...people tend to not want to discuss IMBRA.

I am well aware that US culture does think of a certain kind of obnoxious guy, like the lieutenant in Forrest Gump, as needing to get his wife in Asia. But that character in Forrest Gump was seen, in the end, in a very favorable light. He was happily married and the movie did not depict him being abusive or the Korean wife leaving him.

I also remember how, in Born on the 4th of July, Tom Cruise's paralyzed character had to go to Mexico to see a prostitue because he was totally cut out of the gene pool in the USA because he had served in Vietnam and had been so badly injured.

But the lesson there was that Americans, and American women, should be ashamed that an American hero had been made to be socially rock bottom. The movie scolded Americans for dissing that Vietnam vet and implied that an American woman should have become his girlfriend or wife even though he could no longer perform in bed.

Then you get the James Bond films where at least British men are allowed to see themselves as being able to travel the world and sleep with gorgeous women..(you will NEVER see an American James bond doing the same because American women are the most jealous in the world and do not want to see American men depicted on film as being winners who get to sleep with gorgeous foreign women all the time).

99% of journalists whom I wrote to about IMBRA simply decided (in some cases their editors decided) not to pursue an article or discussion on the subject of men who date foreign women....but less than 1% decided to write an article PRAISING IMBRA. The other 99% apparently agreed with me that there was at least a controversy there...but, against my will, they decided that this was a subject where they did not want to go.

Look at A Foreign Affair Dot Com where the front page is plastered with the logos of all the major TV stations and magazines in the USA, as if they all endorsed International Marriage-Oriented Matchmaking sites.

This is because, just a few years ago, the US media practically DID ENDORSE such dating. They had positive articles and positive TV broadcasts...at least well into the 90s.

To me, that perception changed overnight when IMBRA sprang out of the blue and I learned for the very FIRST TIME that there was some kind of prejudice lurking about the whole matter of foreign dating (and that feminists were stronger than I had imagined politically, that feminists considered stopping foreign dating to be their highest priority).

It seems to be only since Internet blogging got big that a negativity toward ALL male activities started to gel online.

Some people here should become regular writers at Mens News Daily dot com.
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Post by ladislav »

The site is promoting globalization and outsourcing, only that it is in social /romantic areas. It promotes free flow of 'goods' on the global market. Conservative nationalists oppose it. They want to keep the status quo.

Like they do when American jobs are outsorced or when higher quality or cheaper foreign goods threaten their hegemony on the US market.

The age of nationalism is slowly dying, global forces are now at play, and love, romance and sex are becoming a global commodity. There are people who want to cling to social/love nationalism because their "jobs"- which is to love a man are being outsourced. They also cannot compete on the global market against cheaper , better"skilled" ( at love) and better "qualified" people. So, they try to set up protectionist policies to defend themselves against the competiton. But the laws of supply and demand are in effect again and "goods" will always go to where they are wanted

This site is simply a reflection of the changing times and a romantic "wing" of globalization.

American industry has been supplanted by the Chinese. The same is happening with women. So, how is taking advantage of opportunity like that being a loser?
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Post by globetrotter »

I post on several Financial Fora and most people on them are very offended that I have moved to China and overseas. It bothers some of them a great deal, especially when I tell them how some people see the USA. A few realize that US Conservative Nationalists are in denial about USA faults and that it likely has peaked as a neo-Empire, but most just equate my observations as being traitorous.

A good example is when I point out that the PRC spent its stimulus on construction and railways and the USA spent it all on interest payments on the national credit card. Inevitably what happens next are several posts of the 'yes, but...', denial, rationalization and excuse variety.

Argentines were ill equipped, in attitude and comportment, to deal with the 2000-2003 crisis. Poor Argentines do not make for happy people, at all. Yet I believe that Americans, when the USA becomes a 2nd tier nation, will respond even MORE negatively and poorly. The USA is saturated with "We're Number 1!!!" MSM media messages 24-7-365. Once the USA is NOT "No. 1!", what will Americans have left? Without that ability to brag about themselves, with any grain of truth, what will happen to the American Psyche?

I don't think that the results will be good for planet earth or for those of us who chose to hold US Passports but live outside the USA.

A nation with a declining standard of living and sinking image, that has a $1 Trillion military and a chip on its shoulder, is not a good combination.
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