Share your experiences with Asian-American women

[Falcon]

Could everyone here (Asian guys, etc.) share their stories about their [negative] experiences with Asian-American women, or talk about exactly why they are so fed up with them?

Plenty of Asian forum members here are fed up with Asian-American women: Winston, me, chanta76, zboy1, luoldeng9 - the list goes on and on. Tell the world why. Specifically.

I know there's already been a ton of complaining about American women - but they're nearly always white and black. But I am tired of hearing white males rant about how sweet and wonderful AA women are. White males, Asian parents, and so many other people cannot understand why we have been traumatized by Asian-American women.

Of course, plenty of them are still wonderful people, but there is a trend of them being cold and uncaring.


So far we have:

A love rejection in 1992 that changed my religion and more
viewtopic.php?t=7056

Being a social out cast can leave you so angry at the world
viewtopic.php?t=13331


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I have not gone out with women of Asian descent in what seems like forever. My last positive date with an Asian girl was an Indian girl with very traditional values. Then more East Asian girls ignored, ditched, embarrassed, shamed, ridiculed me, all for what?

And what have been my experiences with them?

Never being flirted with, being treated coldly, and not seen as dating material.
Being told to shut up because they have to study.
Placing more importance on grades and test results than treating people with respect.
Going on dates with them, only to be suddenly ditched and treated like a non-human the next day.
Dates that feel like nasty job interviews. Being drilled about my career plans and personal preferences.
Not saying a single word when I talk to them. Avoiding eye contact with me.
Having my e-mail, Facebook, and IM's blocked multiple times.
Having embarrassing rumors spread about me.
Being stared at sideways and ignored everywhere.
Being left out of their social circles and feeling ostracized.
Being told to stop speaking Chinese because they feel so ashamed of their own heritage.
Feeling like something bad is going to happen to me if I ask them out or even express interest ... and then disaster actually does strike when I do. I can go on and on.


Usually without any explanation whatsoever. After all that, they either remain single forever or go out with some jerk.

Blow after blow, consecutively, without any breaks. Like a domino effect. I treated them with respect and only got bitten back. I looked and acted completely fine - even above average-looking for an Asian guy. I was simply too sweet and innocent. Even now, I would feel nervous, bad, and weak on the inside when around Asian-American women.

But I don't hate them. They are full human beings who have suffered a lot. Two words sum up what their minds are like: repressed and depressed. Also, they are mothers, daughters, wives, students, workers, and so on - complete human beings with goals in life, fears, desires, and joys. Oftentimes I enjoy making them feel better by giving them positive thoughts and advice.


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Bye-bye Asian-American ladies. I have never been treated like this in Mexico. I went there on a whim and was completely surprised at how the women treated me. Even the nastiest ones would simply ignore me instead of trying to make me chronically miserable.

From the states of Baja California to Sinaloa to Guanajuato to Michoacán to Puebla to Veracruz to Oaxaca, I have had so many positive interactions with the local ladies.
So many sweet memories, so many fun times, so many confidence-boosting experiences.
Being complimented and treated in ways that Asian-American females have never, ever done to me before. I felt like a blind man finally knowing what light is like.
Having my first non-awkward, intimately romantic dates.
Regularly being urged to call them so they won't feel lonely.
First time I have been sincerely asked about my feelings and my family.
First time I have had unsolicited kisses and flirty compliments.
First time they had wanted to hold hands with me for the entire walk.
First time women would introduce me to their female friends as dating material.
First time I have had girlfriend and even marriage offers.


I will never forget these women who have treated me with so much womanly, and even motherly, love. I felt so free, safe, and loved with them.
I will never forget the families who treated me as if I were their own son or grandson. They are poor in cash but so incredibly rich in their hearts.

[Repatriate]

What you're saying here isn't unique to Asian-American women but American women as a whole. I think the insecurity might be compounded with Asian-American women because there are so few and comparatively speaking AA women stand out big time from the average obese types that make up the U.S. female population. So an average AA woman's perceived attractiveness is pumped up to a "10" when if you live in Asia that very same girl might only be a 5 or a lot lower than that. Plus there are a lot of guys with hard core yellow fever because of the proliferation of internet porn etc.. so it's obvious to see why these girls are in demand.

My experiences with AA girls haven't been that bad at all..actually pretty average most of the time. I do feel that the experience in Asia is far superior though. I believe you would change your mind about East asian women if you interacted with more of the foreign born (natural) variety instead of the AA types who are thoroughly Americanized.

With that being said I would avoid AA women as a whole as well as American women in general. It's not worth the monetary or time investment for very little gain.

[momopi]

I've had fairly good experiences dating foreign exchange students from Asia, and 1.5 gen AA women. My current GF is 1.5 gen Cantonese. Her parents and my parents are meeting for "discussions". ;p

The 2nd generation AA women are a mixed bag raging from good to terrible. I'd say from personal experience that 2nd gen Japanese American women and Vietnamese American women tend to be better than 2nd gen Chinese American women, in terms how well they treat you.

My biggest complaints are:
- Relationships with foreign exchange students don't last when they return home.
- AA women have issues with AA men dating outside their race, but they think it's perfectly OK for them to date outside their race/ethnicity, and if you disagree, you're a racist loser.
- The supply and opportunity with single AA women in the US is obviously inferior to East Asia. In my late 20's to early 30's, I'd manage to date 3-4 girls (AA or other) in a year in US. In TW I could meet and date 3-4 girls in a month's stay. Even in Singapore I managed to meet and date a girl in 2 week's stay.

[Falcon]

My experiences with AA girls haven't been that bad at all..actually pretty average most of the time.

Here in California, many AA guys have no problems dating AA women. But I have never really fitted into AA culture. I feel quite certain that those guys who are good at picking AA women would find it nearly impossible to pick up women in Mexico (whereas it is the opposite for me).

I believe you would change your mind about East asian women if you interacted with more of the foreign born (natural) variety instead of the AA types who are thoroughly Americanized.

You know what? Here in the U.S., I automatically feel nervous around East Asian women, but when they start speaking fluently in Chinese, Indonesian, etc. I feel far more comfortable right away.

AA women have issues with AA men dating outside their race, but they think it's perfectly OK for them to date outside their race/ethnicity, and if you disagree, you're a racist loser.

Whenever I show AA girls some photos of me with my Latina GF, they go into mild shock. They have probably never heard about Asian guys dating women who are not either Asian or white, let alone in another country. Many will stay quiet for several seconds. They give very boring, predictable responses such as: "How did you meet her?", "Wow she looks cute", and "So is it long-distance?" I could usually sense some mild jealousy in them too.

But nobody will even be slightly surprised at AA women dating outside their ethnicity, no matter what color, religion, or body build the guy has. Oh well, let them have fun.

[luoldeng9]

But I don't hate them. They are full human beings who have suffered a lot. Two words sum up what their minds are like: repressed and depressed. Also, they are mothers, daughters, wives, students, workers, and so on - complete human beings with goals in life, fears, desires, and joys. Oftentimes I enjoy making them feel better by giving them positive thoughts and advice.

.

Yeah, I had alot of the same negative experiences with them that you had. I had always thought of myself as the problem and put them on a pedestal until I came across people like the ones on this site. For example, I had a pretty big crush on one in college but she wasn't interested. About a year later, she graduated from college and got married. But then just one year after that, I saw on her profile that she's single. I guess the guy couldn't put up with such an immature, spoiled brat.

As long as they continue to refer to males who don't meet their standards as pigs, then I will refer to them as the same. So they are not full human beings in my opinion. Now I know the solution is to just leave femeriKKKa.

[Iawesome60]

I am going to post a video about someone's experiences with Asian women.

[Falcon]

I am going to post a video about someone's experiences with Asian women.

Congrats for finding one of the few videos dissing Asian women that is not from a white woman. Many Asian men out there are just as mad as this guy, but simply don't have the guts to post videos as controversial as this one.

Many of them ARE horribly racist and messed up in the head! He says that "out of all groups of people, I've had the worst experiences with Asian women." Plenty of Asian guys would agree in a heartbeat.

He says he can't stand Asian women in the Bay Area. I grew up in the Bay Area and know full well what he means.

3:30 Asian girl says "Who wants a black guy anyways?", even though the guy didn't say anything to them. I bet some would also say "Who wants an Asian guy anyways?"
7:15 "Particularly towards black men." And their own men too. The guy then goes on to say that Asian guys can be racist too - I completely agree.
8:30 "Most white-worshiping out of all groups of women"
9:20 "screwed up in the mind"


Video response:

[momopi]

You know what? Here in the U.S., I automatically feel nervous around East Asian women, but when they start speaking fluently in Chinese, Indonesian, etc. I feel far more comfortable right away.

Do you speak Bahasa Indonesia (or Bahasa Melayu)?

Visit Duarte Inn in Duarte on Saturday mornings for Pondok Kaki Lima. Park and walk to the parking lot in the back.

[Falcon]

I speak some Tagalog, and a sprinkling of Bahasa Indonesia.

Most Indonesians in the U.S. are actually of Chinese descent, and are incredibly friendly to me. They usually speak very little to no Chinese, though some who have studied in Singapore or Malaysia have excellent Mandarin skills. In my school, the majority of them are from the island of Java, while some others are from Sumatra (Sumatera) and Borneo (Kalimantan). Chinese-Indonesian students in my university sometimes have fundraisers where they sell wonderfully flavorful Indonesian food. It's like Thai food in many ways. Absolutely delicious!

Food fundraisers are great for meeting new people. My lunch today consisted of 滷肉飯 (lurou fan) and 冬瓜茶 (donggua cha) that I had bought at a student fundraiser. My lunch was especially enjoyable because I haven't had these treats in such a long time (Due to all the time I spend in Mexico, I've been having far more tortillas and beans than Taiwanese xiaochi / dianxin). I had a nice chat with the Taiwanese international students as well.



Lo bah peng is good, but I actually prefer kong bah peng (the one with fatty pork). The last time I went to Taiwan, I was gorging so much fatty pork rice like a pig.

Whenever I talk to Chinese and Taiwanese international students, they would always like to compliment me on how good my Mandarin is, and how I don't sound like an ABC. Both the guys and girls are pretty easy to chat up, since they absolutely love talking to people who can speak fluent Mandarin.

[Falcon]

And if you enjoy Taiwanese hot pot (huoguo) and Vietnamese pho, definitely try Mexican pozole. An adorable Poblana girl (i.e., from the state of Puebla) that I had dated first introduced me to pozole. The large, puffy corn kernels in the soup somehow remind me of 紅豆湯 (red bean soup). She absolutely loves pozole. This isn't surprising since she comes from a Nahuatl-speaking family, and pozole was historically an Aztec ceremonial stew. (If you don't already know, the Aztecs spoke Nahuatl, which is also called Mexicano nowadays.)



We should all be more like momopi. Culinary obsessions can cure anger and frustration extraordinarily well.

[momopi]

This is from last weekend:
http://www.626nightmarket.com/

I couldn't make it because my parents were having their "round 2" negotiations with the GF's parents in 2 years. ;p

Next time when you're in South OC on weekdays, hit me up and I'll take you to boiling point:

http://bpgroupusa.com/index.html (new location in Irvine)

If you don't like BP, there's Jazz Cat, Class 302, and numerous other choices.

[Falcon]

Amazing! The first and only night market in Southern California. Thanks for letting me know. I wouldn't have been able to make it either, since on April 14, I was busy meeting up with my friends in Tijuana.

Parental negotiations, haha. Good ole Asian parents. I remember the time when I took a Taiwanese girl to high school prom, my parents and her parents were super busy chatting up each other and exchanging gifts - something that many non-Asians wouldn't quite understand. The typical "bu hao yisi" talk and all that. Plus, my prom date's mom was jabbering on and on about how her daughter wasn't doing well academically, and how I would be such a good role model for her.

With rural Mexican girls, "parental negotiations" would be highly unlikely (thank goodness). But usually I would have to meet the entire extended family: plenty of siblings, uncles/aunts, cousins, grandparents, nephews/nieces. They would mostly be very down-to-earth and fun people. Most of the time, I would find myself playing with and babysitting little kids due to their large family sizes.

Wow, Boiling Point sounds delicious. How about some Taiwanese xiaochi place though, such as Class 302? I'd be fine with something simpler.

[momopi]

Amazing! The first and only night market in Southern California. Thanks for letting me know. I wouldn't have been able to make it either, since on April 14, I was busy meeting up with my friends in Tijuana.
Parental negotiations, haha. Good ole Asian parents. I remember the time when I took a Taiwanese girl to high school prom, my parents and her parents were super busy chatting up each other and exchanging gifts - something that many non-Asians wouldn't quite understand. The typical "bu hao yisi" talk and all that. Plus, my prom date's mom was jabbering on and on about how her daughter wasn't doing well academically, and how I would be such a good role model for her.
With rural Mexican girls, "parental negotiations" would be highly unlikely (thank goodness). But usually I would have to meet the entire extended family: plenty of siblings, uncles/aunts, cousins, grandparents, nephews/nieces. They would mostly be very down-to-earth and fun people. Most of the time, I would find myself playing with and babysitting little kids due to their large family sizes.
Wow, Boiling Point sounds delicious. How about some Taiwanese xiaochi place though, such as Class 302? I'd be fine with something simpler.

There's a class 302 that just opened on Culver by Culver & 405 FWY. It's a pretty neat place, the Taiwanese waitresses there have a "Cerritos vibe" to them. But I like the food at Boiling Point better, at least for hot pots.

My parents and the GF's parents have common social circles, her uncle was my father's coworker, her aunt worked at one of our restaurants, her cousin bought the store that used to be owned by my father's manager, one of my mother's best friends is her parent's dentist, etc. We actually graduated from the same HS, and both our fathers were former ex-pat workers to Indonesia in their younger days. @_@ Anyways, it's gotten to the point where we either get married or call it off. But because both of us are the only child, there are financial/legal considerations with our parent's homes/properties under our names. It's not as bad as our friends with complicated family trust fund situations, but it's better to get everyone in agreement and have our ducks in a row to avoid future conflicts.

Questions such as "if we get married, how much parental support are we expected to provide to the parents every month", "will the parents resident permanently in TW or move back to US at some point", "will the parents live with us at some point?", etc. needs to be clarified for everyone's expectations. We have some long-term goals that require planning as well. If we intend to become ex-pats and work/live abroad at some point, who will look after the parents? How costly are live-in help for parents? Do we take the parents with us to China/Japan/France/? etc. Both of us are "House Hunters International" junkies, but actually getting there is another story.

http://www.hgtv.com/house-hunters-inter ... index.html

[Falcon]

Congratulations momopi. I wish you best of luck with all these difficult decisions.

[MrPeabody]

I dated a few Chinese women when I lived in the United States and had positive experiences. I had a Chinese girlfriend for a short time who gave an incredible face massage. They also know how to take care of themselves and earn a living. It could be a good option for a decent younger white guy living in the US who doesn’t want to go through the hardship of moving to a new country.