Advice from men (I don't wanna be militant and masculine?)

[FireEater]

Growing up I was taught nobody owed me anything and I needed to work hard so I could have a good life, so all throughout public school I was one of the nerds. Just as well, I wasn’t the best-looking kid and that drove me even further to only focus on learning and studying. I enjoy science, music, history, know a bit about art and want to learn some languages. So now as an adult I’d planned to just focus on more learning and traveling to experience some of the things I’ve learned about, but one day I woke up and my body was demanding… er, attention. I was raised to believe I have to be married before that can happen.

It seemed to want marriage-then-attention the most from Russian men for some reason. I did some poking around on the web and learned that they’re like any other men (or women) –some are slackers, some are wonderful people. Apparently these guys are known to act very courtly and considerately, treating their partners like princesses, so I guess it’s only fair said partners are expected to behave like ladies. There’s my problem.

I don’t hate guys –guys are my family members, my favorite professors, the cop who helped me when –never mind. I’m just very bad at being feminine. I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’m tomboyish, but I like Die Hard/Rambo/John Wayne films, I do logic problems and keep bringing home history books, I collect various things and long to do loads of adventurous things like snowboarding and skydiving… I can say yes sir, no ma’am, please and thank you, and don’t antagonize anybody (beyond periodic family arguments), but beyond that I’m not sure how being ladylike works. My mother, bless her, is a sweet, kindhearted soul who is touched by movies, songs, news stories, you name it, and she’s nicer to kids than I could ever be. I love her but I’m scared of being THAT sensitive; and I volunteered in the church nursery for about 10 years and while nothing illegal or immoral happened, I learned things about myself and realized I should never become a mother. I’m also kind of scared to depend on somebody else too much lest he wake up one day and resent me for using up resources I didn’t help him obtain.

So what do I do? I feel like a goofy, girly failure when I try makeup and dresses, should I just try to push past that? Is it possible to have a husband without giving up DragonCon and WWII documentaries and surfing in Suriname?

I decided to come here for two reasons: one, you guys are honest (perhaps it’s not possible for somebody like me to be with somebody like Ivan/Boris/Mikhail and y’all will come out and say so) and two, you’re living the truth I encouraged my brother to live. He came home one day and said “I’m gettin’ me a foreign girlfriendâ€￾ and I said “Good man, I’ll be waiting at the airport.â€￾ To me it seems on one side there’s “KNOW YOUR ROLE AND BE QUIET, BABY FACTORYâ€￾ and on the other side is “MEN ARE EVIL BECAUSE THEY’RE MEN SO LET’S SPEND THEIR EVIL MONEY AND USE THEM FOR SEX BEFORE WE CALL THEM RAPISTSâ€￾ and there’s gotta be a middle ground somewhere, right?

I know the more I swear I’m not a troll, the more some people might think I am one… I’ll just go to the European section and learn how to help my brother find an Irish lady.

Thanks anyhow for your time.

[odbo]

I always wondered if an American girl over a certain age (like age 7 ), went to Europe, would she end up acting more lady-like after a while or would she stay the same? Because femininity is seriously repressed in America and I don't blame the women for acting tom boy-ish. Growing up they have no examples of what a lady is supposed to be. I do blame them for being narcissistic, unchaste, vindictive pieces of shit though. A lot of men especially in this day and age would be very happy to have a tomboy girlfriend as long as she is sweet and caring. Most have to settle for a tomboy girlfriend without that last part. There is really no alternative, do you see any real women (under the age of 40) walking around? When was the last time you even saw a woman wearing a dress or a skirt? There are only some fakes who pretend by dressing "womanly" but the way they compose themselves makes it obvious they are just high-maintenance "trophy wives", parasites who nag their husbands to death and are worthless mothers to boot. They think acting feminine is getting other people to do everything for them because they just painted their nails. Men in this country, especially the unappreciated workhorses (who don't sell shit on Ebay for a living), really deserve better. I'm not just talking about single guys here. Nothing motivates a man like a real woman. Femininity is sort of like our fuel source, and because of the social situation in America we're effectively running on empty. Sex with these adolescent Anglo beasts who pose as women is hardly an adequate substitute for time with the real deal.

[Repatriate]

I always wondered if an American girl over a certain age (like age 7 ), went to Europe, would she end up acting more lady-like after a while or would she stay the same? Because femininity is seriously repressed in America and I don't blame the women for acting tom boy-ish. Growing up they have no examples of what a lady is supposed to be. I do blame them for being narcissistic, unchaste, vindictive pieces of shit though.

American women have a reputation for being "easy" in Europe and various anglo countries though. I think they act the same but local men with names like Francois and Ferdinand with their cheesy accents charm the panties off of them and they become submissive fucktoys for these guys. Do they act more feminine? Well that depends. I think once they've been pumped and dumped a few dozen times they learn some humility especially in the face of more feminine european women.

[Think Different]

There's no reason a woman can't be tomboyish, nerdy, and then turn around and be classy, sexy, and feminine. Just look at the Russian women. They are some of the toughest chicks I've ever seen. I've seen them literally drag their drunk-ass husbands home from the bars at 6am, by the collar. But boy, can they dress to the 9s and be ultra-feminine.

[Think Different]

Case in point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZSiaZKYCBc

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4071/430 ... 7c5a_o.jpg

[chileanueva]

Russian women prove you can be tough and feminine at the same time. They aren't lazy about their looks or appearance, like these fat American chicks who dress up and go out in their pajamas. Russian women actually care about how they look and present themselves in public. It's called discipline, something fat American cows lack.

[have2fly]

I agree with odbo and his post.

There's no reason a woman can't be tomboyish, nerdy, and then turn around and be classy, sexy, and feminine. Just look at the Russian women. They are some of the toughest chicks I've ever seen. I've seen them literally drag their drunk-ass husbands home from the bars at 6am, by the collar. But boy, can they dress to the 9s and be ultra-feminine.

Yes, that's why I don't get it - how come Russian girls could cook, clean the house and still look like a super-model with perfect nails and hair style? In the same time, they are also, well, *women*! Russian girls, even those serving in the police, are sweet and romantic. Of course not all of them, but 90% definitely are. America lost this completely! Women don't know and don't want to know how to be women or how to enjoy being a female. This is sad for both genders. But even worse that American men are now used to seeing manly trashy women in America and think that's how women should be.

[FireEater]

Thanks for the answers, everyone.

Case in point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZSiaZKYCBc

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4071/430 ... 7c5a_o.jpg

!
WHY DO WE NOT HAVE ONE OF THESE.