Why do some guys claim to experience no suffering?

[Winston]

I just talked to a guy here in Vegas and he told me that he has zero problems in his life in America and zero suffering. He acts like he has no vulnerabilities too. Is that possible? Why do some guys claim this?

Do they have some secret that leads to the cessation of suffering? Something that Buddha missed? lol.

If so, why don't they capitalize on it and sell their secret and make a fortune? lol

Or are they just BSing and in denial? I find it hard to believe that a guy has no problems, and does not suffer. He also says that he experiences no social disconnection in America either. How can that be, since he is quiet and reserved and less outgoing than me? I'm more outgoing and talkative than average yet I can't find any social connection in America. What's wrong with me?

Plus he is afraid to cold approach any girls here, even if you offer him money. In fact, every guy in Vegas bails if you ask him to cold approach girls. The attitude of the girls here is the worst in the US, so it's no surprise. Any guy can claim to make friends easily and get dates easily. But they can't prove it or demonstrate it for some reason. If you ask them to, they always give you an excuse.

I don't understand. Why do some guys make the unrealistic and implausible claim that they have zero problems in life, zero suffering, and zero weaknesses? That's hard to believe. I thought he was genuine and down to earth too. So why make this claim which sounds INHUMAN?

Guys who make such claims do not seem authentic or human. So why do they do it? Why can't they just be honest and real?

And how come I suffer endlessly in comparison? Do some guys just have a thicker skin and are incapable of suffering? Why is he better than me? I don't get it. Is he inhuman or is he in denial?

Or does he live in a totally different universe where his own feelings are in a different dimension than mine?

Buddha said that life is suffering. So how can some guys be exempt? Doesn't everyone suffer? Or are some guys too cool to suffer?

I guess some guys just don't like to open up too much about their inner vulnerabilities, while others, like me, are too open about them and rant endlessly.

Either way, some guys sure do ACT like they don't suffer or have problems. Or they just don't talk about them. Even some guys here on the forum are like that. They never admit to having any problems or experiencing suffering or having any vulnerabilities.

Have you also noticed that most western guys, no matter how honest, will NEVER admit when they have money problems or dating problems?

What do you think? When you meet guys who claim to have zero vulnerabilities, doesn't it make you wonder what's wrong with you?

[droid]

It's bullshit, an act. I've seen guys claiming they have many parties to attend to, when in reality the 'party' is hanging out with their parents on halloween etc. I've called them out on that.

Further, if one chump (of which I've seen) is lucky enough to do 'pull' some etc, he will go so out if his way to brag, show off, and put the other chumps down, it's not even funny; Mostly getting off from the male approval itself, not the lay. It's ridiculous.


On another note: Vegas?, really?

[Winston]

Yeah one of our forum members in Vegas told me that. He has zero problems of any kind. He never suffers or struggles. He can get anything he wants here, including social connection. There is no pain in his life. He has no vulnerabilities or weaknesses. Etc. At least that's what he claims.

And his life is great 24/7. That sounds so macho and inhuman. If that's so, then why is he a fan of this movement? I don't get it. Why do many guys have trouble admitting any weaknesses of any kind? I don't get it.

[Winston]

We've all heard the saying:

"Every man leads a life of quiet desperation."

Are some men exempt from this?

How come even some guys here in the forum, such as Momopi and Devil Dog, act like they have zero pain, zero suffering, zero loneliness, and zero bad luck in their life? Can that really be true?

[Jackal]

I just talked to a guy here in Vegas and he told me that he has zero problems in his life in America and zero suffering. He acts like he has no vulnerabilities too. Is that possible? Why do some guys claim this?

I don't think it's possible to have absolutely no suffering. Even the Buddha himself suffered from backaches in his old age! lol

But it is possible to have a stretch of time in which you have very little suffering as a result of a lot of positive actions which you performed in the past, but unless you have achieved enlightenment, you will inevitably suffer again at some time in the future.

In Buddhism, it is said that it is possible to be reborn in the god realms as a result of past positive actions (this might also be seen as a metaphor for an extended blissful time with hardly any suffering), but this type of existence eventually ends when your merit expires.

Some people indeed do have better and easier lives at the present moment, but this won't last forever.

[Winston]

I guess not everyone suffers equally. Some suffer greatly. Others suffer physical pain and then they do not cling to it. I guess a lot of suffering is psychological in that we cling to past events that went wrong and can't let go.

But suffering is a blessing in disguise. Have you noticed that those who suffer most have the richest and deepest souls?

So someone with a superficial hollow soul probably didn't suffer much.

Western men do not like to admit to suffering though. They just don't talk about it for some reason. Or maybe they don't cling to it.

[starchild5]

I think he is just trying to protect his sanity from all craziness that is America...... This is HIS way of defending himself.....He might be on the EDGE ...

If we think he is lying ...we need to ask really why...???

One thing we must remember is that HUMANITY NEVER EVER COMMITTED ANY CRIME..ITS NOT HUMANITIES FAULT.....Human Being are the real victim here...THIS THE THE ULTIMATE TRUTH...

Human Beings were Androgynous...Male-female body in one...They literally had wings, Third eye.........untill the force of darkness showed up and manipulated our DNA to be shunted back on evolution ......

All the suffering that man gets is not his own making...All problems are thrust on us by the EVIL and then makes us suffer more by calling it Karma...The biggest con to sweep the western world.....Trust me...I'm Indian...We invented Karma..one of the biggest BS to take over humanities mind....DO NOT FALL FOR IT....


DO NOT FALL FOR BUDDHA CRAP either.....He came from my place....His BShitness exactly touches the core of our suffering...Lets just say ....He is the GOOD COP .....His teachings just makes you go round in circles...Again...Human beings has nothing whatsoever do with his own suffering AT ALL...they are the victim here for over million years now...

You really are the good guy here....

We all lie to protect ourselves in some point in our life....Its ok....human beings have suffered enough...Its ok, if they lie sometime to keep their sanity....We need to open our hearts and minds to liers and truth seekers..Human beings are basically good species....

[Devil Dog]

We've all heard the saying:

"Every man leads a life of quiet desperation."

Are some men exempt from this?

How come even some guys here in the forum, such as Momopi and Devil Dog, act like they have zero pain, zero suffering, zero loneliness, and zero bad luck in their life? Can that really be true?

Winston, I have never claimed to have zero pain/suffering/loneliness/bad luck. Everyone has those things at times. When I have problems I work to correct them or I get over it and live with them. I have had plenty of problems in life. I lost more money in one bad year than most Americans will see in a lifetime. So what? I still had my knowledge and experience. I got over my losses and I came back.


My belief is that these conditions are temporary and can be overcome with thought and work. Circumstances kick everyone's ass now and then. When you get knocked down you have two options:

1. Stay on the ground, feel sorry for yourself, rationalize why you can't get back up.
2. Get up and try again, in a smarter and more experienced way.


I choose number 2, every time.

[Hero]

In America, we're trained from birth always to pretend that everything is great, and to laugh and smile all the time as if we're always enjoying ourselves. If you don't, people will judge you, call you negative, tell you to just cheer the f**k up, etc. Eventually you'll lose all your friends, because out society also tells us to avoid negative people, because they'll drag you down too. In other words, if a friendship becomes a bummer to you because your friend has suffered a misfortune, just abandon your friend. Hell, it's his own fault.

[droid]

Some guys are actually true conformists too. They see no problem in settling for the whale with kids, or hobbies, etc.
They just adapt, as in 'ignorance is bliss', I guess.

[ringspun]

It's bullshit, an act. I've seen guys claiming they have many parties to attend to, when in reality the 'party' is hanging out with their parents on halloween etc. I've called them out on that.

Further, if one chump (of which I've seen) is lucky enough to do 'pull' some etc, he will go so out if his way to brag, show off, and put the other chumps down, it's not even funny; Mostly getting off from the male approval itself, not the lay. It's ridiculous.


On another note: Vegas?, really?

haha thats soooo true Droid! I have the exact same... guys who make out they party, get laid all the time, when you go out with them the party is a 6 pack and the women is his sisters friends who hate him and only hang for free beer lol

[argaluza]

Because though we all suffer from more or less the same problems, it really is how you percieve them. You can let the problems eat away inside you or you can let all the shit inside go.

Once I learned that you need to let problems go then life became easier.

I suffered from the same problems as a lot of guys on here, now I have a wife from the Far East, you wouldn't catch me giving a monkey's about feminism among white women for example - why would I care about that shite?

There are people who still hold hate in their heart for the school bully, or a screaming NCO in the army, or some supervisor at work despite the fact that it was over 20 years ago.

It is like clearing out the attic - you leave too much shit in there and it becomes a problem. Letting go of the past helps. It really does. Forgive yourself of your mistakes and forgive others of their mistakes to you.

[Novem]

This phenomenon happens because society and media say that men aren't supposed to have actual internal problems as if we are mindless. Only women and children have fear, doubt, or any kind of concern. Men are supposed to be robots who have no emotions. The moment you show weakness of any kind most females lose respect for you and the worst ones tell you to 'man up' without actually knowing the weight of said problems. Other males tell you to stop being a little bitch and 'be a man'. Fact of the matter is we all are human but only one sex is actively allowed to display any of that human emotion in positive or negative ways. Even if we are the more logical sex, men have to cope with their internal struggles as well.

Bottom line is I feel that there are reasonable time frames to deal with problems and suffering. Some problems have longer time frames than others. But if all you do is whine about your problems without ever doing anything about them that is when I'm inclined to tune you out. There is a balance that needs to be maintained.

[QuestionMark]

Good question, and good topic.

Others have already said it, but it's because we live in a culture that teaches (especially males) that you have to be tough, strong, stoic, positive, never emotional or expressive. Society teaches that if you're not this way (especially as a man) that if you're not this way, you're a wimp, p***y, loser, punk, a lil biyatch, so some other insult implying that you're weak and its you're fault for being weak.

There's even a lot of females that act like this and promote this sort of behavior, but generally females are given significantly more leeway in this regard. Females are expected to be emotional, expressive, talkative, sweet, kind, and caring. And they're treated with more gentility. I've noticed that women generally apologize more than men. Men make friendliness and apologizing out to be a sign of weakness, even if the person is actually wrong and should apologize. Notice how when people (especially men) know they've done something wrong, but instead of apologizing or at least talking it out with the person, they'lle just go about acting stoic or they'lle do something subtle to make their guilt go away without apologizing or talking about it.

And of course as we all know, this is how men are encouraged to be in the dating world in this culture. The more of an alpha male/tough guy you are with the women you talk to and everyone else, the more successful you'lle be with women.

The contradiction is that society teaches kids (or at least they used to teach kids) to be good, be nice, play by the rules, do the right thing, and be respectful of others. But as we get older, we learned that actually being this way in this society is taken for granted and seen as weakness.

There's a few movies on the subject but here's one that's a good one. They used to have the whole movie on youtube, but you may can find it elsewhere online:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3exzMPT ... 0FFA172FF7

[ringspun]

I know a guy whos girl has cheated on him twice now, sent him to prison twice for made up bullshit, yet if you met him tomorrow he would tell you he had the best girl in the world...

Insecurity is the main issue if you ask me!