How can Taiwan be "friendly" if no one wants to be your friend?! 10 Reasons Why Taiwan is NOT friendly!

[Winston]

Hypermak,

Several questions for you.

1. Isn't it subjective to say whether they are the problem or me? Why do you say that I am "the problem" in one sense? If that's so then they are the problem in the other sense right? Why are you assuming the majority to be right and normal? Didn't you read my list of quotes from great thinkers that say that the majority tends to be insane and the MISFIT tends to be the sane one? See here:

https://www.happierabroad.com/Quotes_Insanity.htm

Haven't you seen those quotes before? I've quoted from that list many times. If so, why do you think all misfits are the problem rather than the mainstream or masses?

2. Let me ask you this: If everyone turned into zombies with no soul, and I was the only normal human left, would I be the problem or would they be the problem? lol. In the Resident Evil movies, are the zombies the problem or is Alice the hero and zombie fighter the problem? lol. Or the Umbrella Corporation that created the zombies?

Have you seen the movie I always talk about "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"? If everyone turned into soulless clones with a hive mind, and I was one of the few real souled humans left, am I the problem or are they? See my thread about the movie here:

viewtopic.php?f=29&t=22736

3. Simple questions for you:

If you can't eat pasta with a hammer, does that mean the hammer is the problem or defective? No of course not, because a hammer isn't designed for eating. So those two things are not compatible. Doesn't mean one of them is a problem right?

Just because a great actor like Clint Eastwood doesn't fit comedy films, does that mean he's not a good actor or that he's the problem? Of course not. He fits action films and western films. He's simply the wrong character type for comedy films. Just because Chevy Chase doesn't fit serious cold dark films, does that make him a bad actor? No of course not. He's a good comedy actor.

Do you get my drift? I've used these examples many times to explain this to you guys and teach you basic logic and philosophy. So why then hypermak, do you still call me "the problem" just because I don't vibe with people in a soulless society where people have no social skills or confidence or openness?

Have you seen Star Trek episodes with the Borg? If you assimilate into the Borg Collective, they will be nice to you too. But does that mean you should? If you don't, are you the problem or are they the problem?

4. Finally, keep in mind that I NEVER asked to be a misfit or outcast or freethinker. No way. That label was thrust upon me by the universe in 1983. After that, all the kids in my school TREATED me like a misfit or outcast. I had no choice in it, nor did I ask for it. It just happened. I swear. So how is that my fault? People can sense if you are different, even if you hide it and act normal. It's in your vibe/aura. You can't be something you are not, even if you try to. I'm sure you know that. So I was forced into this freethinker persona. Of course when I was a kid I wanted to fit in and belong and have friends. No kid wants to be lonely or rejected, so why would I? Obviously I wouldn't. It was thrust onto me. I swear. So if it's not my fault, then how can I be "the problem"? See what I mean?

Btw Hypermak, have you seen my music video "Shiny Toy Winstons" with clips of me in Russia? If not, here is the link:



Notice in the video that I look very free and allowed to be myself in Russia. Can you see it from my face and body language in that video? Can you see that in certain cultures I am allowed to come out of my shell? I certainly couldn't act like that in the US or Taiwan or Japan. No way. Controlled strict societies don't allow you to come out of your shell like that. Do you see what I mean now? As we both said, I fit better in Slavic or Latin countries. That video above is a demo and proof of that. Do you see what I mean?

[Spencer]

Wiseton it probably imposible public duende see your absolutism truth because what magic posible for you in europe not posible for narow wounded public duende who also not know homeland taiwan of you just fool speculates out of ignoramous ass for we know old big talk dog public duende never can learn new trick....you prove so many time 100% with 1000 hours video how your nature soul conecting with 100s hi quality young girls in promisland europe but public duende have big mammy issue because shemp explanation proving before when public duende big talk bs promise leave never come back thread so here is repeating shemp wisewords

"It appears no one has yet linked to the shit-flinging thread that led to PD's banning: viewtopic.php?style=21&f=3&t=37682&start=15

PD was triggered, in my opinion, by the idea that his much younger girlfriend doesnt love him only "for himself" but rather is partly motivated by the better life he offers, and that better life can be expressed in money terms. Traditional men would not be triggered, but on the contrary would be happy to know that their wife/girlfriend valued them as good providers. But PD is not traditional, but rather a weak modern man, raised in a matriarchy, who depends on female appoval for his sense of self-worth, and he can't be secure of women's approval unless it is for something that only he has (she has to love him "for himself") versus material benefits which any man with money could offer. A lot of other men in that allowance thread are similarly insecure and desperate for women's approval in the form of free sex, and react with the same hostility as PD to the notion of paying women for sexual access. Do these men also resent paying dentists, lawyers, barbers and other service professionals?"

so public duende even you never believe in wiseton super inspiration capabes that so much grander than you own smal real life, still better you stop doubting out loud because in end wiseton always win here always because he big bossman and never ever forget and stop doubting cool down step back humility down so to finality learn you lesson so wiseton not need teach you hard way again

[Spencer]

Notice in the video that I look very free and allowed to be myself in Russia. Can you see it from my face and body language in that video? Can you see that in certain cultures I am allowed to come out of my shell? I certainly couldn't act like that in the US or Taiwan or Japan. No way. Controlled strict societies don't allow you to come out of your shell like that. Do you see what I mean now? As we both said, I fit better in Slavic or Latin countries. That video above is a demo and proof of that. Do you see what I mean?

Yes yes yes and this so better than best standfordguy ever post this video proving and super insipire

[gsjackson]

Notice in the video that I look very free and allowed to be myself in Russia. Can you see it from my face and body language in that video? Can you see that in certain cultures I am allowed to come out of my shell? I certainly couldn't act like that in the US or Taiwan or Japan. No way. Controlled strict societies don't allow you to come out of your shell like that. Do you see what I mean now? As we both said, I fit better in Slavic or Latin countries. That video above is a demo and proof of that. Do you see what I mean?

Yes yes yes and this so better than best standfordguy ever post this video proving and super insipire

Removed. I need to ask Winston's advice on something.

[Winston]

Removed. I need to ask Winston's advice on something.

Why did you remove your post? What's so confidential about it? If you want to ask me something, just PM me then.

[gsjackson]

Removed. I need to ask Winston's advice on something.

Why did you remove your post? What's so confidential about it? If you want to ask me something, just PM me then.

The post was just giving you a hard time about the striped tutu in the video, or whatever it was. I'll PM you about the other matter at some point when I get my plans formulated.

[hypermak]

Hypermak,

Several questions for you.

1. Isn't it subjective to say whether they are the problem or me? Why do you say that I am "the problem" in one sense? If that's so then they are the problem in the other sense right? Why are you assuming the majority to be right and normal? Didn't you read my list of quotes from great thinkers that say that the majority tends to be insane and the MISFIT tends to be the sane one? See here:

https://www.happierabroad.com/Quotes_Insanity.htm

Haven't you seen those quotes before? I've quoted from that list many times. If so, why do you think all misfits are the problem rather than the mainstream or masses?

I think I already answered this question on my previous reply to you..

Perhaps you're too much of a free thinker, an anti-conformist to catch their favour or interest. In a place like Taiwan, you represent the odd man out, the minority so, in that sense, the problem is you.

That doesn't mean that you have a problem or you are a problematic person, far from it. This actually explains why, as yourself say, you found yourself more comfortable around people who value deep, intellectual conversations that express your own opinion, rather than some collective thinking or common sense. Obviously, with all their trouble, some Eastern European countries are still full of people who value that type of person and that type of conversation.

I never said the majority is "normal" and "right". I simply pointed out that, at least in the environment I grew up in (late 90s/early 2000s Italy) there was quite a lot of pressure to conform. Those who managed to conform had it relatively easier: they were considered "cool" or "popular," they could date the "popular girls", etc.

I find your quote a bit romantic but not very well-grounded. I think a total misfit might end up being the only sane one in a community of crazies but, most of the time, it pays to reach a balance between individuality and conformity to a social norm. Too much individuality will make you suffer more than necessary and give you a rather distorted and bitter view of the world. Too much conformism will make you miss out on the real beauty and pleasures of being yourself.

While you can't spend your life pleasing the others, spending it hoping to be loved and appreciated for who you are without understanding the real world around you, risks putting yourself into an ever worse position.

Again, my 2 cents only.

2. Let me ask you this: If everyone turned into zombies with no soul, and I was the only normal human left, would I be the problem or would they be the problem? lol. In the Resident Evil movies, are the zombies the problem or is Alice the hero and zombie fighter the problem? lol. Or the Umbrella Corporation that created the zombies?

Have you seen the movie I always talk about "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"? If everyone turned into soulless clones with a hive mind, and I was one of the few real souled humans left, am I the problem or are they? See my thread about the movie here:

viewtopic.php?f=29&t=22736

Again, an interesting and romantic way of seeing the world: to be the last healthy man alive in a world of zombies, the only knight in shining armour in a place where everybody else is "the enemy". Unfortunately (or fortunately) this is not how the world really is. You might well be a free thinker and special in your personality and qualities, but it's not a good idea to use that a reason, a justification even, to retreat on top of an ivory tower and blame everyone else down below.

Again, be yourself for God's sake but never forget that there's a real world of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands people you will be interacting you who might have a different take on life, probably a more conformist one, but that doesn't make them worse, evil or an enemy to fight.

As you probably know, the most successful leaders where truly exceptional men and women who could understand and embrace the mediocrity of those they had to lead, and leverage the rare gems in that sand desert.

3. Simple questions for you:

If you can't eat pasta with a hammer, does that mean the hammer is the problem or defective? No of course not, because a hammer isn't designed for eating. So those two things are not compatible. Doesn't mean one of them is a problem right?

A very good metaphor. A fork is designed to collect pasta and its condiments and take it to your mouth. A hammer or a screwdriver would probably get you there in the end, but it would make it hard and frustrating because they are meant for totally different uses. The problem is not in the hammer or the fork, but in knowing what's the best tool for the job.

So, as another piece of popular wisdom says, if you have a hammer in your hand just go on and be a carpenter. If you have a fork, go on and eat as much pasta as you want

Just because a great actor like Clint Eastwood doesn't fit comedy films, does that mean he's not a good actor or that he's the problem? Of course not. He fits action films and western films. He's simply the wrong character type for comedy films. Just because Chevy Chase doesn't fit serious cold dark films, does that make him a bad actor? No of course not. He's a good comedy actor.

Do you get my drift? I've used these examples many times to explain this to you guys and teach you basic logic and philosophy. So why then hypermak, do you still call me "the problem" just because I don't vibe with people in a soulless society where people have no social skills or confidence or openness?

Like I said before, you may be considered the "problem" when you are out of context. If you are a deep thinker who likes meaningful human interactions, then you have a hammer and not a fork in your hand, you will find it problematic to eat pasta with it. Move to a situation where there is a lot of carpentry work to be done and you'll see that your tool will be a lot more productive and give you far more satisfaction.

Coming back to real life, if you feel Taiwanese are soulless, conformist and judgmental, it's probably useless to try to fit your square peg into their round hole (no pun intended LOL). Just move to an Eastern European country.

I have found a lot of intellectually stimulating people right here in Manila. Perhaps Angeles City of other smaller towns in the province don't have many of those because people there are poor and preoccupied with the essential challenges of life (putting food on the table, maybe marrying a foreigner who could fix all their poverty problems). Maybe you should hang out in Manila more?

Have you seen Star Trek episodes with the Borg? If you assimilate into the Borg Collective, they will be nice to you too. But does that mean you should? If you don't, are you the problem or are they the problem?

Again, it's a dramatic and romantic view of things. No offense but, not all misfits are true geniuses, and world-changing people, and not all "normies" are mediocre, despicable people.

4. Finally, keep in mind that I NEVER asked to be a misfit or outcast or freethinker. No way. That label was thrust upon me by the universe in 1983. After that, all the kids in my school TREATED me like a misfit or outcast. I had no choice in it, nor did I ask for it. It just happened. I swear. So how is that my fault? People can sense if you are different, even if you hide it and act normal. It's in your vibe/aura. You can't be something you are not, even if you try to. I'm sure you know that. So I was forced into this freethinker persona. Of course when I was a kid I wanted to fit in and belong and have friends. No kid wants to be lonely or rejected, so why would I? Obviously I wouldn't. It was thrust onto me. I swear. So if it's not my fault, then how can I be "the problem"? See what I mean?

What do you mean "that label was thrust upon me by the universe in 1983"? You have no control over your life? OK, maybe when you were 10 you had limited understanding and control over your life, but what about 10 years ago, or even now? Wouldn't it be a good idea to take your life into your own hands and find the best "meet in the middle" solution?

I really don't know too much about you besides the little material I have read and watched in here. From what I could see, it does look like you shaped your life by making a few very brave and adventurous choices, like that of moving to parts of Russia well away from the beaten track. Those choices bore fruit and consequences, both positive and negative. Why don't you continue to embrace that spirit and keep making the same kinds of life-changing choices that made you happy and satisfied?

Looks like going to Taiwan or staying in the Philippines is not one. Maybe going back to a Baltic or Eastern European country might be it?

Btw Hypermak, have you seen my music video "Shiny Toy Winstons" with clips of me in Russia? If not, here is the link:



Notice in the video that I look very free and allowed to be myself in Russia. Can you see it from my face and body language in that video? Can you see that in certain cultures I am allowed to come out of my shell? I certainly couldn't act like that in the US or Taiwan or Japan. No way. Controlled strict societies don't allow you to come out of your shell like that. Do you see what I mean now? As we both said, I fit better in Slavic or Latin countries. That video above is a demo and proof of that. Do you see what I mean?

Yes, I do see what you mean! So, as soon as this lockdown eases, what keeps you from booking a ticket to Kiev, Budapest or Tallinn and spending a few months there? I don't get it.

[Yohan]

Reverting to @Winston, do you think the problem is with him, and not with the Taiwanese people? I don't want to assume the worst and think that nobody in Taiwan is worth approaching, becoming friends with or enjoying a romantic relationship with, no matter how hard the barrier is to break.

Regarding the above hypermak:
First of all, Yohan is the wrong person to ask about that. He's never met me and cannot say. You should ask someone like Rock about that. Rock has met me many times and is in a better position to judge. But even he doesn't really know.

This discussion about Taiwan is going on for too long. More or less all what could be said has been said already.

I did not meet Winston personally, but I am here writing some comments since about 6 years, so I have no problem when reading all his comments to understand what a type of person he is. I am living in Asia (mostly Japan, Malaysia and my 2nd home in Thailand) since over 40 years, so I am not a newcomer, I know about various Asian countries and the way how people are living there.

About
Winston, he is an Asian-American, not the typical Chinese man living in Taiwan. Such Asian-Americans often face some identity issues, they do not feel to be 'American', but also feel they do not really fit to the place from where they originally come from (in this case with Winston it is Taiwan).
Is Winston now a foreigner in Taiwan - or is he a local man? I think, he does not know either...

I met many overseas Chinese in the past, who experienced communication problems in their native countries, as they often do not really speak the regional dialect and the standard Chinese language fluently. More often they fail to read/write Chinese and this makes them uncomfortable - feeling to be illiterates...

Too many dialects of Chinese, almost like different languages - using Cantonese, Hakka, Hokkien etc. etc. - If you are not grown up in your region, you feel not so comfortably among 'your own people'... understandable...

About Taiwan, this is a little corner of this world, with not even 25 million people. While Japan is not known to be very communicative even among its own people, I found Taiwan (and South Korea too) are even worse.

However what does Winston really expect from Taiwan? He is an American, married to a Filipina, has a son with her - why should any woman in Taiwan be interested to any private conversation with him?

Is Taiwan 'friendly'? If you come as a typical foreigner (like I myself, who will never be considered to be a Chinese) and stay one week or so, make a trip around the island, visit some nice places - Taiwan is not that bad, just a bit business-like and why not, it is a developed island with high living standard.

However if you are out into conversation with women, looking for fun with girls etc. Taiwan is just not the place for you.
Even Chinese men living in Taiwan will tell you the same. They travel around to Asian countries nearby looking for a foreign - but Asian - wife for marriage.

I found the situation in Taiwan, South Korea and Japan similar - not unfriendly (this is the wrong word) - but also no one wants to be your friend.
People in this region prefer to be among themselves.

As I said already, in this region you need a family - otherwise you will end up rather lonely as a foreign man.

You might ask me what you can do if you are in Taiwan, looking for a female - the only answer I can give to you is to look around among the foreign female community - there are plenty of Filipinas, Vietnamese and other foreign women around from nearby poorer countries. Make contact with them, why not?

I don't know what else to say but that this thread is going on for too long...

[Spencer]

Narrow thinker never get the deeper truths for never ever forget if not wiseton find promised land east europe for inpirate him make 1000s out box postings and creationg happy aboard movement we today never be here never know for wiseton forged the brave path and simple simons here make negativity postings like public duende and yohan forget what wiseton accomplisment for this aboarder generation and generation after generation comimg so i implore public duende and yohan now say humility thank you to wiseton for travel to become most special unique asiaman of late 20 and follow 21 century so never forget who is founder of platform and stop contamination by egomania chasing like public duende always arge dumwit child things with the contrarian

[hypermak]

This discussion about Taiwan is going on for too long. More or less all what could be said has been said already.

[...]

Maybe I should apologise for contributing to making it even longer.

I actually agree with everything you said. Looking for a Filipina, Vietnamese or Indonesian in Taiwan is very good advice. The only caveat is that, obviously, it wouldn't work miracles in terms of making Winston feel integrated or assimilated into the local culture, as he says he would like to.

[Winston]

Hi Hypermak,
Thanks for your reply. You said:

"What do you mean "that label was thrust upon me by the universe in 1983"? You have no control over your life? OK, maybe when you were 10 you had limited understanding and control over your life, but what about 10 years ago, or even now? Wouldn't it be a good idea to take your life into your own hands and find the best "meet in the middle" solution?"

Yes. Honestly I do feel like I don't have control over my life. I meant that literally, the universe labeled me as a "weirdo and outcast" in 1983 and never asked my permission. Nor did I do anything to deserve it (at least not in this life) nor did I ask for it. It just happened. All of a sudden, all the kids in my class started bullying me, mocking me, spitting on me, etc. They would touch my shoulder, touch someone else and say they've got "Winstonitis". Etc. This isn't just simple bullying by a few kids. It's me vs the entire class of 30 kids. That's VERY traumatic. If you never experienced it, you don't know what I mean.

So yes in cases like that, I am a victim. New Agers may deny it, but they are wrong I think. New Agers and self-help authors claim that no one is a victim, but I beg to differ. They cannot prove me wrong with their cliches. I see no way in which I could have controlled that or asked for it, even if they try to spin things to make it look like I chose it. Such victim-blaming mentality is wrong.

I feel invisible forces in my life today. Remember I tried to go to China in 2012 to find a wife and settle down. But invisible forces kept blocking me and going against my free will. They wouldn't allow me to go or do what I wanted to consciously. You never experience that? Only I do? Why? I wasn't able to get to China until 2015 but by then it was too late. All the good ones were gone. Even when I met a Chinese girl I liked, like in that AFA social, I felt like something didn't want it to work out with her, so I felt this force pull me away from her and not allow me to keep dating her. It was weird. But this was like something out of my conscious mind. And of course when I was in love with Lisa, a dark cloud came over and tried to make little things go wrong to put stress on us so that she would get moody and argumentative and look for a reason to dump me, which is exactly what happened. The universe does not like certain people being in love, like me, so it rains on my parade everytime I get lucky. If this ever happens to you, you can sense it. I don't think it's my imagination. Some guys claim that dark forces are only within our mind, but I disagree, I think dark forces exist both internally and externally, not one or the other. Either way, I've experienced invisible forces BLOCKING me many times, and I often curse them for it. I don't think it's all in my head as some do. Something like this cannot be 100 percent internal. It's usually both, internal and external. People who are very sensitive do not imagine things that aren't there.

I do have free will, in trivial things. For example in a restaurant, the universe will let me order what I want, because such choices are inconsequential. But in larger things, there is a universal order and balance that the matrix has to maintain. In the movie "The Adjustment Bureau" starring Matt Damon, this is explained too.

Now onto other subjects.

You said that my being a misfit and being the only sane person while the rest are zombies, is a romantic notion. Sure it sounds romantic, but as you know, lots of sci fi and fantasy movies contain deep metaphorical and spiritual truths. Such as Star Wars, Tron, The Matrix, etc. Some top physicists even think The Matrix is literally true and we do live in a computer simulation literally. So movies do contain a lot of truth in them, using fiction as a medium to tell you what they cannot tell you overtly.

For more info, see here:
http://www.trickedbythelight.com/tbtl/movies.shtml

And of course, there are countless articles online about the spiritual and allegorical truths in the Star Wars original trilogy. So it's not all just "romantic fantasy". There is a lot of truth in it too, if you know how to look. Same with "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" or zombie movies. The creators know that the masses were becoming zombies long ago. It was the agenda of the elite. The reason zombie movies are so common now is because it's a tongue in cheek joke the elite play on the masses, because the masses deep down know they are zombies so they like those movies.

There's a great saying in the movie "V For Vendetta" that goes like this:

"Politicians use lies to cover up the truth. Artists use lies to tell the truth."

I'm sure you know all this hypermak. Every intellectual knows this kind of stuff. You are an intellectual right?

You also mentioned taking "the middle ground". Of course I agree. I would do that if I could. That's part of life. But if the other people aren't interested in you at all and avoid you and don't want you in their clique, then it's a non-issue. It only applies when both parties are INTERESTED in having a social relationship. For example, if you and I were friends in real life and we had disagreement, we could resolve them and agree to disagree, or take a middle ground and compromise, as long as both of us are interested in the friendship. Same with you and your girlfriend or whatever. A relationship always involves compromises since you and her are not gonna agree on everything. But if the other party gives you a cold shoulder, or doesn't want to hang out or know you, then you're out of luck and none of this applies.

Remember most social groups in Taiwan and USA are EXCLUSIVE, not inclusive. This means they are picky and judgmental about who they hang out with. They're not gonna love you for you, like Jesus or God will. lol. So if you don't fit the mold that they want, then they will exclude you. I'm sure you know that.

Plus, like I said earlier, you can't hide what you are. I'm sure you know we are all made of energy and are energy beings vibrating at different densities. That's why people can sense what you are, even animals can. So even if I act totally normal and say stuff like:

"Taiwan is so nice and friendly. I like it!"
"Isn't the weather beautiful today? I'm feeling great! I'm gonna enjoy the beautiful sites of Taiwan today! Looking forward to it!"
Etc.

And other normal friendly stuff like that, people can still sense I'm different. Even the way I walk gives it away because the way you walk shows your rhythm and wavelength. So you see, even if I try to like/love Taiwan, and see the postiive side of Taiwan, and brainwash myself into thinking "Taiwan is great" etc, people still know I'm different and not connected to their wavelength and level. That's partly the reason I think, kids at school disliked me. They could sense I wasn't part of their hive, kind of like in Star Trek in "Return of the Archons" when they referred to "not of the body" which means not part of the same hive mind. In that case it was instinctive, they weren't necessarily conscious of it.

So you see, if people shun me, I can't take the middle ground, if people reject me or aren't even interested. You see what I mean?

Lastly, of course I want to go back to Eastern Europe. I was going to do that this year before all the lockdowns. I was gonna go back to Cambodia first and finish what I started there, then go to Vietnam first. That's on my agenda. I never said that's changed.

Do you understand me better now? Can you try to put yourself in my shoes?

[Winston]

This discussion about Taiwan is going on for too long. More or less all what could be said has been said already.

[...]

Maybe I should apologise for contributing to making it even longer.

I actually agree with everything you said. Looking for a Filipina, Vietnamese or Indonesian in Taiwan is very good advice. The only caveat is that, obviously, it wouldn't work miracles in terms of making Winston feel integrated or assimilated into the local culture, as he says he would like to.

I've contacted Filipino workers and maids in Taiwan from dating sites before. They all told me they had no time to meet me. They said they only had one day off per month. So not much I can do about that. Plus they don't seem very eager to meet me, and even the ones near me don't make the time. Or they give me some date in the distant future, like next month, when they might be able to meet me, and leave at that. Not very enthusiastic.

One Filipino girl was gonna meet me for sex in Taichung once, but she wanted money in exchange. I agreed. But the day before, Falcon suddenly came over and changed that plan.

[Winston]

Reverting to @Winston, do you think the problem is with him, and not with the Taiwanese people? I don't want to assume the worst and think that nobody in Taiwan is worth approaching, becoming friends with or enjoying a romantic relationship with, no matter how hard the barrier is to break.

Regarding the above hypermak:
First of all, Yohan is the wrong person to ask about that. He's never met me and cannot say. You should ask someone like Rock about that. Rock has met me many times and is in a better position to judge. But even he doesn't really know.

This discussion about Taiwan is going on for too long. More or less all what could be said has been said already.

I did not meet Winston personally, but I am here writing some comments since about 6 years, so I have no problem when reading all his comments to understand what a type of person he is. I am living in Asia (mostly Japan, Malaysia and my 2nd home in Thailand) since over 40 years, so I am not a newcomer, I know about various Asian countries and the way how people are living there.

About
Winston, he is an Asian-American, not the typical Chinese man living in Taiwan. Such Asian-Americans often face some identity issues, they do not feel to be 'American', but also feel they do not really fit to the place from where they originally come from (in this case with Winston it is Taiwan).
Is Winston now a foreigner in Taiwan - or is he a local man? I think, he does not know either...

I met many overseas Chinese in the past, who experienced communication problems in their native countries, as they often do not really speak the regional dialect and the standard Chinese language fluently. More often they fail to read/write Chinese and this makes them uncomfortable - feeling to be illiterates...

Too many dialects of Chinese, almost like different languages - using Cantonese, Hakka, Hokkien etc. etc. - If you are not grown up in your region, you feel not so comfortably among 'your own people'... understandable...

About Taiwan, this is a little corner of this world, with not even 25 million people. While Japan is not known to be very communicative even among its own people, I found Taiwan (and South Korea too) are even worse.

However what does Winston really expect from Taiwan? He is an American, married to a Filipina, has a son with her - why should any woman in Taiwan be interested to any private conversation with him?

Is Taiwan 'friendly'? If you come as a typical foreigner (like I myself, who will never be considered to be a Chinese) and stay one week or so, make a trip around the island, visit some nice places - Taiwan is not that bad, just a bit business-like and why not, it is a developed island with high living standard.

However if you are out into conversation with women, looking for fun with girls etc. Taiwan is just not the place for you.
Even Chinese men living in Taiwan will tell you the same. They travel around to Asian countries nearby looking for a foreign - but Asian - wife for marriage.

I found the situation in Taiwan, South Korea and Japan similar - not unfriendly (this is the wrong word) - but also no one wants to be your friend.
People in this region prefer to be among themselves.

As I said already, in this region you need a family - otherwise you will end up rather lonely as a foreign man.

You might ask me what you can do if you are in Taiwan, looking for a female - the only answer I can give to you is to look around among the foreign female community - there are plenty of Filipinas, Vietnamese and other foreign women around from nearby poorer countries. Make contact with them, why not?

I don't know what else to say but that this thread is going on for too long...

Well Yohan, if you feel this discussion has gone on too long, you are free to bow out of it any time you like.

Of course I feel like a foreigner in Taiwan. It's not just the language issue. I can speak basic Chinese and Taiwanese. I don't have an Asian soul. Ask people who know me in real life and they will tell you that too. A person with a true Asia or Chinese/Taiwanese soul would NEVER in a million years say the kind of things I say in this thread. No way. No Asian would dares say such things, even if he felt that way. At best, an Asian would say their home country is "too restrictive" like hypermak's Taiwanese chef friend said. But they wouldn't go into deep detail like I have in this thread with the 10 point essay and all. lol

But the locals see me as a local and can't get why I act like a foreigner. I'm in an area of Taiwan that doesn't get many tourists except for those passing through, and not many Asian Americans come here either. So they don't know what to do with me. They expect Asians to act Taiwanese and only Whites to act Western. They know that Asian Americans exist I'm sure, but they are not used to dealing with them.

Plus narrow mindedness and rigidity are part of Asian culture, I'm sure you know.

Not all Asian Americans are foreign on the inside like me. Some feel Asian on the inside too. For example, the tennis star Michael Chang, who is Chinese American and speaks fluent English, said he feels more Chinese than American. And yes, some Taiwanese Americans who grew up in the US say they love Taiwan. Not all Asian Americans are the same or like me.

You gotta understand that most social groups in Taiwan are NOT inclusive. They are very picky and if they feel you don't fit their mold then they don't want you in. They're not gonna like you or love you for you like God or Jesus are. Come on. lol

You said that people like me don't feel comfortable in Taiwan because I didn't grow up here. That's only partially true. But it doesn't explain why there are countries I feel INSTANTANEOUSLY COMFORTABLE, like Russia, Eastern Europe, Philippines, etc? I adjust to those countries easily even though I didn't grow up there. Why? How do you explain that? Obviously because those countries are more open and inclusive and fun and fit my personality better. So it's not all about "what you are used to".

Yes I tried contacting SE Asian maids here on dating sites before. They all are busy with only one day off per month, they told me. Plus they aren't that enthusiastic or eager about meeting me. Plus most of them don't live around me. And the ones that do, are only semi interested in meeting and never make the time. Or they give me some date in the distant future, like next month, when they might be able to meet me, and leave at that. Not very enthusiastic.

[hypermak]

Yes. Honestly I do feel like I don't have control over my life. I meant that literally, the universe labeled me as a "weirdo and outcast" in 1983 and never asked my permission. Nor did I do anything to deserve it (at least not in this life) nor did I ask for it. It just happened. All of a sudden, all the kids in my class started bullying me, mocking me, spitting on me, etc. They would touch my shoulder, touch someone else and say they've got "Winstonitis". Etc. This isn't just simple bullying by a few kids. It's me vs the entire class of 30 kids. That's VERY traumatic. If you never experienced it, you don't know what I mean.

Ouch. I am very sorry to hear this happened to you. Bullying can really change your life to the worst. This kind of explains why you felt different from other kids from an early age. I wonder if your parents gave you any help, by talking to the bullies' parents, the teachers or even encouraging you to fight back.

I think the most important thing is to grow up into a teenager knowing that none of that bullying can define who you are. I know it's hard, but it is indeed possible to come out of it.

I too had some moderate amounts of bullying during my junior high school years (11-13). They used to call me "ciopa" or "ciopeta", which in our dialect means "piece of bread" or "panino", as everybody knew my family were bakers. Luckily I was taller than most and found out that I was able to push most of my bullies against the wall or on the floor to shut them down. Teacher would sometimes intervene and my Dad would tell me off as, as it turns out, "violence is never a good way to solve problems".

So yes in cases like that, I am a victim. New Agers may deny it, but they are wrong I think. New Agers and self-help authors claim that no one is a victim, but I beg to differ. They cannot prove me wrong with their cliches. I see no way in which I could have controlled that or asked for it, even if they try to spin things to make it look like I chose it. Such victim-blaming mentality is wrong.

Well, you were certainly a victim then, during those years, but I am sure at some point the bullying must have stopped. I know it's awful to speak with hindsight but, at that point, you might have realised that you were no longer a victim and were free to choose to be or do whatever in life you wanted to be or do. You chose to be interested in New Age, alternative science, conspiracy theories, be a writer, etc. That was all of your choosing, but none of it indicated that you were a victim, not anymore.

I feel invisible forces in my life today. Remember I tried to go to China in 2012 to find a wife and settle down. But invisible forces kept blocking me and going against my free will. They wouldn't allow me to go or do what I wanted to consciously. You never experience that? Only I do? Why? I wasn't able to get to China until 2015 but by then it was too late. All the good ones were gone. Even when I met a Chinese girl I liked, like in that AFA social, I felt like something didn't want it to work out with her, so I felt this force pull me away from her and not allow me to keep dating her. It was weird. But this was like something out of my conscious mind. And of course when I was in love with Lisa, a dark cloud came over and tried to make little things go wrong to put stress on us so that she would get moody and argumentative and look for a reason to dump me, which is exactly what happened. The universe does not like certain people being in love, like me, so it rains on my parade everytime I get lucky. If this ever happens to you, you can sense it. I don't think it's my imagination. Some guys claim that dark forces are only within our mind, but I disagree, I think dark forces exist both internally and externally, not one or the other. Either way, I've experienced invisible forces BLOCKING me many times, and I often curse them for it. I don't think it's all in my head as some do. Something like this cannot be 100 percent internal. It's usually both, internal and external. People who are very sensitive do not imagine things that aren't there.

I don't believe that "dark forces" or "invisible forces" exist. I think it's just the name we give to events that don't go the way we want or expect them to go. So instead of asking ourselves what, of those things that are under our control, we can change and improve, we end up assuming that nothing is under our control. It's what superstitious or overly religious people do when they credit or blame God for everything that happens to them, until they get genuinely convinced that everything that happens to them falls from the sky and is "God's will".

I am not religious at all but I do like this Italian saying, "aiutati che Dio t'aiuta". Help yourself, and God will lend you some extra help. God, fate, or luck may well exist and give you a bit of a push, however, ultimately, it all must begin with you.

What you call "dark forces" could have simply been a mix of bad luck and high expectations. So many people told me that, bar perhaps very rare exceptions, Chinese girls are difficult to please and just not worth the hassle. Over the years I enjoyed vloggers like serpentza and what they said confirmed my feelings and suspicions about Chinese girls: some of them might be pretty, slender, well dressed and even (seemingly) sweet.

But those positives are completely neutralised by all the negatives: their families are usually very racist towards any foreigner, they expect to be supported financially and cared for, they constantly make the foreign bf/husband feel inadequate even if he is the best man in the world. You as a foreign man are constantly scrutinised and judged for what you have and what you can provide to them. One false step and they will hate you. So many cultural barriers, simply too hard to overcome and, like I said, it might not have been worth it.

Serpentza is married with a very pretty Chinese woman, a doctor nonetheless. As he himself admitted in his videos, he is with her because she was expressly looking for foreigners and she was looking for foreigners because she was divorced and she (and her family) knew that no decent Chinese man would have ever wanted to be with her.

Call me a contrarian but I think that, by not indulging too much in dating in China, you have probably dodged a massive bullet

Filipinas, on the other side, may not look as glamorous and fair-skinned (although some of them do have Chinese DNA and do look "chinitas") but they have a lot of good personality qualities that will overcome whatever cultural barrier between you and them. Of course I am sure there will be a great deal of rotten apples, scammers, girls from problematic families et cetera, but they are easy to tell apart. There are plenty of very good and decent Filipinas, I found quite a lot of them, and I don't mean the girls I have been dating...even simple friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.

I do have free will, in trivial things. For example in a restaurant, the universe will let me order what I want, because such choices are inconsequential. But in larger things, there is a universal order and balance that the matrix has to maintain. In the movie "The Adjustment Bureau" starring Matt Damon, this is explained too.

If you have enough free will to order what you want from a restaurant menu, be assured that you have sufficient free will to decide anything in life. Maybe it's just a lasting impression that comes from your past life experience and a good dose of pessimism.

The Matrix was an amazing movie and concept but I would leave is where it is, on the Blu-ray shelf.

You said that my being a misfit and being the only sane person while the rest are zombies, is a romantic notion. Sure it sounds romantic, but as you know, lots of sci fi and fantasy movies contain deep metaphorical and spiritual truths. Such as Star Wars, Tron, The Matrix, etc. Some top physicists even think The Matrix is literally true and we do live in a computer simulation literally. So movies do contain a lot of truth in them, using fiction as a medium to tell you what they cannot tell you overtly.

For more info, see here:
http://www.trickedbythelight.com/tbtl/movies.shtml

And of course, there are countless articles online about the spiritual and allegorical truths in the Star Wars original trilogy. So it's not all just "romantic fantasy". There is a lot of truth in it too, if you know how to look. Same with "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" or zombie movies. The creators know that the masses were becoming zombies long ago. It was the agenda of the elite. The reason zombie movies are so common now is because it's a tongue in cheek joke the elite play on the masses, because the masses deep down know they are zombies so they like those movies.

There's a great saying in the movie "V For Vendetta" that goes like this:

"Politicians use lies to cover up the truth. Artists use lies to tell the truth."

I'm sure you know all this hypermak. Every intellectual knows this kind of stuff. You are an intellectual right?

Movies, like most works of art, are meant to entertain and inspire us. I think it's normal for us to filter the message of this movie or that book through the filter of our experience. When I watched the Matrix trilogy I was more excited about the idea that, no matter what the evil machines could reduce the world population to, there will always be a place (Zion) where the true human spirit will survive and thrive. I was more intrigued by the "human resistance" part than the simulation and the depressing reality.

As you can see, same movie, two different take-aways. Reality is that you can choose who you want to be whenever you want, and you don't even need someone on a book, a movie or an online course to "teach" you. It's all inside you. We all possess this "force", if you want to call it that.

You also mentioned taking "the middle ground". Of course I agree. I would do that if I could. That's part of life. But if the other people aren't interested in you at all and avoid you and don't want you in their clique, then it's a non-issue. It only applies when both parties are INTERESTED in having a social relationship. For example, if you and I were friends in real life and we had disagreement, we could resolve them and agree to disagree, or take a middle ground and compromise, as long as both of us are interested in the friendship. Same with you and your girlfriend or whatever. A relationship always involves compromises since you and her are not gonna agree on everything. But if the other party gives you a cold shoulder, or doesn't want to hang out or know you, then you're out of luck and none of this applies.

Remember most social groups in Taiwan and USA are EXCLUSIVE, not inclusive. This means they are picky and judgmental about who they hang out with. They're not gonna love you for you, like Jesus or God will. lol. So if you don't fit the mold that they want, then they will exclude you. I'm sure you know that.

Plus, like I said earlier, you can't hide what you are. I'm sure you know we are all made of energy and are energy beings vibrating at different densities. That's why people can sense what you are, even animals can. So even if I act totally normal and say stuff like:

"Taiwan is so nice and friendly. I like it!"
"Isn't the weather beautiful today? I'm feeling great! I'm gonna enjoy the beautiful sites of Taiwan today! Looking forward to it!"
Etc.

And other normal friendly stuff like that, people can still sense I'm different. Even the way I walk gives it away because the way you walk shows your rhythm and wavelength. So you see, even if I try to like/love Taiwan, and see the postiive side of Taiwan, and brainwash myself into thinking "Taiwan is great" etc, people still know I'm different and not connected to their wavelength and level. That's partly the reason I think, kids at school disliked me. They could sense I wasn't part of their hive, kind of like in Star Trek in "Return of the Archons" when they referred to "not of the body" which means not part of the same hive mind. In that case it was instinctive, they weren't necessarily conscious of it.

So you see, if people shun me, I can't take the middle ground, if people reject me or aren't even interested. You see what I mean?

Lastly, of course I want to go back to Eastern Europe. I was going to do that this year before all the lockdowns. I was gonna go back to Cambodia first and finish what I started there, then go to Vietnam first. That's on my agenda. I never said that's changed.

Do you understand me better now? Can you try to put yourself in my shoes?

Well, then the "middle ground" means asking yourself two questions: 1) how do I find people I might be interested in? and 2) how do I get those people to be (more) interested in me? Physically speaking, you're pushing yourself towards them while, in the meantime, you are developing something that pulls them further to you.

If, as you say, Taiwanese (or Chinese) people aren't your cup of tea, you can always move towards cultures and societies you can better resonate with. At the same time, maybe you should drop the idea that "once a misfit, always a misfit" and try to do something to pull the people you chose to be with further towards you.

As an example, if you decide to pay another visit to Russia, yes you will probably find men and women who are more eager to have deeper, more intellectual conversations with you. At the same time, you could maybe learn to speak Russian, or start a line of work that is people-facing and will put you in constant touch with people.

[gsjackson]

I just wanted to weigh in quickly on hypermak's last point -- deeper and more intellectual conversations. Winston, consider going where I'm probably headed in three weeks, Serbia. As a group, the Serbs are probably the most inclined to engage in that sort of thing, and probably the least materialistic of any people in countries I've visited. I suspect they're a lot like Russians, and they feel strongly tied to their fellow Slavs in Russia.

They are very much on top of politics and public policy, and do the deep dive stuff as well. Novak Djokovic is a good example. Check out any video of him and you're likely to encounter deep thought. And nobody has done a better job of translating thought into success in the physical realm than he. Chris Evert, who would know, says he just has "a superior mind," and the comparison she was making at the time was to Roger Federer.

Serbs also speak excellent English with hardly any accent. Their personalities come through fully in the language, often including an enjoyable and dark sense of humor. I don't think you'd find nearly as much English in Russia.