Russian In-laws

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

Hello Brad, I'm Kristine, and I'd like to start a new discussion with you and any other interested members on the forum about Russian in-laws.

I am an American of Russian/Slavic origin (yes, I know Kristine is Latvian/Lithuanian ... my mother just wanted something different for me).

Anyway, I am married to a Russian man from Suhumi, and I have had interesting experiences with my in-laws. There are some postives ... some negatives. I am just curious to hear from you (and others) about your experiences with your Russian in-laws, and what you think. For me, I know that some of my experience is unique to my situation.

I wonder if you, like I, may have noticed the extreme difference between older Russian women vs. young Russian women. Sometimes it's difficult to believe that we are all cut from the same cloth! There are some theories relating to how it may relate to the rise and fall of communism, and where these events fall in terms of our coming of age.

A Russian female friend of mine was married to a Russian man when she lived in Russia, and they divorced. According to her, it had very much to do with her mother-in-law and the personality clash between them. She is now married to a well-to-do American man, and loves her American mother-in-law, because she rarely has to see her, since she lives in a different state!

[sharpbws]

I am just curious to hear from you (and others) about your experiences with your Russian in-laws, and what you think. For me, I know that some of my experience is unique to my situation.

Like children, I think the attitude in-laws have toward you is a reflection of the attitude your spouse has toward you.

My experiences with my current wife have been nothing but positive. Olga's mother and step-father are wonderful people and I've grown to love and respect them very much. Olga's mother has been to visit us twice and it hasn't disrupted our family routine one bit. In the few conflicts we've had, I was surprised that my in-laws seemed to back my side of things.

With my marriage to my first RW things were exactly opposite. My mother-in-law came for a 1 month visit and ended up staying for 6 months. She always seemed to be complaining. When problems in our marriage developed, she was always right there ready to "pour gasoline on a small blaze" trying to make it bigger.

Again, I think that they'll pick up on the attitude reflected by the spouse and mirror that in their own behavior.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

My MIL is someone that requires some adjustment. She's a little on the paranoid/panic-driven side, very lonely, fairly agoraphobic and doesn't like anyone or anything outside the home, tv or family. She loves my son, and is willing to watch him any time. It can be a little suffocating sometimes, and she tends to try to take over in our household at times. She also always thinks everyone is always sick, needing medicine or medical treatment over little ailments. I also have to walk on egg shells a little, as she is uptight and easily offended by dirty jokes/humor/pitch in the voice. She also is very paranoid that we will move very far away or become too independent of her. I can't get completely used to this ... as my own late mother was very laid back, easy going, and always laughing.