anamericaninbangkok wrote:If you've only been married to an Asian girl for a few months, it's probably not the brightest move to bring her to the US. If you've been with her for years, she's not 22 years old, and your relationship is stable, I don't see a problem with it. If a relationship is going to fold, it's going to fold. I agree with Kai in that if you're so insecure you think your wife is going to do a runner or hook up with someone else, you shouldn't be married to her in the first place. Will they be influenced? Most definitely. But my wife's already influenced by me simply by association and to some extent, vice-versa.
In some ways this is a good thing, in some ways not. But the bottom line is that EVERY woman will be a pain in the a** at some point. And she'll view you as a pain in the a** as well. But whether she bails, f***s around, gets pissed because you won't take her to the lake, or whatever, this is determined by what sort of person she really is. This is something to figure out before getting married, not after. If you can't trust her then why get married at all?
My wife and I are not that new to each other. It's probably impossible to bring someone to the US that quickly anyway. If I wanted to get technical about it, my wife and I technically been married at least a year, if you take out the legally married in the US part. We know each other very very well. She and I both love laughing at silly trolls like this. She is a moderator and lead advisor for forum that mostly includes women doing basically the same thing we did.
There are many women that are staying with men far far worse than I am and leaving is not even an option in their brains. Combination of face/shame and many other factors. I get to hear all the personal dramas of these Chinese K1 and K2 visa women via my wife. Some of them are still in China while many others are now in the US. Chinese women have different mentality and values systems than, lets say a Latino woman does for example. Something that might make one of those leave a man, is literally a non-factor for a typical Chinese woman.
I could keep any woman I marry regardless. Maybe that makes me different than other men here, but I never have those kinds of problems others like to fear monger with. Also I fully understood the culture of the woman I married, in some situations I understood certain Chinese culture requirements better than she did. I also speak the language. I can spot a green card chaser in a few minutes or less. I have dated many Chinese women and I have seen just about every stereotype chick there is to offer from there. I never tried to marry a pro. I stayed away from bars and KTV when looking for a wife. I did my research just like you did yours. I have an AW for an ex-wife for years, got the debts to prove it. Been there, done that. I've done business with China for years too. Just like you did business in Thailand and other Asian countries. That is why you and I can write guides on this shit.
Regardless of our experiences, just like you said, if these women have issues like that, they had them before you got married to them. What you see is what you get! One of the reasons I chose my wife is because she can handle living anywhere! That includes the US. My wife has weaknesses just like anyone else does. If anything, our relationship depends upon me ending it if anything. The shit these fearmongers claim is not one of them.
There is a reason why Chinese people like making Chinatowns everywhere too. They suck at integrating with other cultures. That is good and bad in certain ways for sure, but for me, it suits me just fine. Even ABC Chinese do not always assimilate into American culture in the first generation. I like Chinese culture because I share much of the same ideology. As far as family is concerned, it's perfect. She has seen some of the things Americans do to school their children and she is shocked and feels that we need to make sure we are more strict on those things and protect them from that. It brings a smile to my face every time. She and I are always on the same page. If anyone is going to become "americanized" it might be your kids once they grow up to at least teenager stage. Once they are grown, that is their business, none of yours.
Many guys here in the US can have what I have too. Listening to fearmongers with "suspect as hell" agendas, is not going to help them. There are many English teachers and other expats that married a Chinese wife, moved back to the US and none I have spoke to or read blogs from regret anything about it. Hell my immigration lawyer Lee Solomon has a Chinese wife he got via the K1 Visa and he wrote a book about the whole thing. Anytime I speak with him, you can see the happiness in him. Usually talking to a rich high power lawyer feels tense, but not with him. Here is a link to his book below. I should have added this to my guide......
http://www.amazon.com/Price-Too-Great-L ... 1598588400