Ladies Discussion Forum

[Sunshine]

Greetings,

I'm Amber. I am a 31 yr old lady currently situated in the southeast part of The United States. I've only just discovered this site via a duckduckgo search for "typical american mindset", and I must admit that after reading the "Reasons and Comparisons" page I was almost too afraid to join. I have to ask, is the contents of that page really how so many people view American females? Or is it more just a compilation of some of the traits that the worst of us have? As a very "different" American, by both male and female standards, it makes me sad to think of all the people who may have been put off from talking to me because of how my country presents itself.

A bit about me, I was raised by a polish grandmother who instilled very strong senses in me for "right and wrong" as well as "common sense and common courtesy" and for that I am immensely grateful. My mother, unfortunately, is a fairly "typical" American female. This isn't to say that I don't love her dearly, but try as I might she simply remains closed off to "new ways of thinking". The reason I decided to join is that I have in the past week, been offered a home and possible job in Norway with someone I've met online from Denmark and am absolutely enamored with. So hopefully soon enough I can say that I am also "Happier Abroad". Try as I might tho, I am not completely free of the stereotypes about Americans in that I am in fact overweight. Being a 'southerner' I was raised on all manner of fatty foods. I've started taking steps to reverse this tho and it is, thankfully, the only change that I believe needs to be made.

So... yeah, I'm greatly looking forward to talking with all of you and learning from you as well when the chances arise. Feel free to ask me anything that comes to mind, even things that may be personal if need be as I am a very open and understanding person. Thank you, and best wishes.

[zboy1]

Welcome to the forum, Amber! The male section of HappierAbroad deals with topics like that. The people there--including me--like to bash American women, American culture, and America as a country, but the women's section deals much more with women's issues, travel and life overseas. That's why Winston created a separate forum just for the ladies, because the males on the other forum were chasing away and, scaring away, all the females to the site. You'll find like-minded people here, much more than on the Male forum...so don't be scared...

[NinjaPuppy]

[Sunshine]

[Winston]

Welcome Amber.
Thanks for joining. No need to be nervous. This forum is very inclusive.

As to your questions, I"ll try to give you a broad perspective.

Yes, if you ask American males, most of them will tell you that that "Reasons and Comparisons" chart has a lot of truth in it. But you've got to ask the most honest men you know and tell them to swear to be honest to you. It's just that those comparisons are taboo and so most will not say them in public or even online.

As to how other countries view America, well it depends on which ones. Europeans look down on America. They see a degenerate culture of excess greed and an imperialistic government that likes to start wars and control other nations. But in Asia, people see America as a great opportunity to make money and amass wealth, which is what they live for. Most Asians are practical and don't think about deeper things.

You sound very open minded anyway. Do you know anything about Norway? It is not reputed to be warm and friendly. Scandinavian countries are supposed to be pretty cold and emotionless. How did you meet the guy? Do you trust him? Have you met him in person before?

As to losing weight, have you looked into low carb/high fat diets? They seem to work best and fastest. The fatty foods may not be the real problem, it's the carbs that cause weight gain in most people. Fat is turned into energy by the body, whereas carbs are sugar and the body doesn't know how to convert them to energy, so they are stored as fat.

Btw, why did you do a search for "typical American mindset"?

Look forward to hearing more from you.

Sincerely,
Winston

[Sunshine]

[Renata]

Hi, nice to meet you Sunshine

Wow Norway, interesting' ... as a lady it's always good to be street-smart when travelling ... for instance I've met up with online friends before as well, it's been great, sometimes ackward lol ... best of luck with the migration. We've all migrated to different countries before, so if you've got any questions on your mind about moving, post a thread you will get many answers.

[Falcon]

Welcome to HappierAbroad, Sunshine! It's always great to meet outside-of-box folks like yourself.

[Winston]

Hi Sunshine,
Wow you really are different. I've never known any females in America that would use the words "submissive and accommodating" to describe herself. Do you think you really are different to the core, or one of those "contrarian" types who just likes to do everything the opposite of what they are told and what society tells them?

So you live in the South? How can it be cold or unfriendly there? Southern hospitality is renowned for being friendlier than other states. People are supposed to be warmer than the folks on the coast.

As to European criticism of America, well try to learn not to take it personally. It isn't about you, it's about an aggregate phenomenon. Same goes for any articles I write, such as that comparison chart.

You will find that when you are in Europe, no one will criticism America to your face unless you bring it up first. But if you start by bringing up criticisms about the US, they will be glad to jump in and tell you what they really think.

So have you always not fit in in America? When did you discover that you were different? Have you always felt that there was a sort of "soullessness" in America that you could see, but weren't allowed to talk about?

How would you compare/contrast the Norwegian guy you're talking to with typical American guys?

Btw, you might find this page interesting that I put together of what many immigrants in America really think of it:

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page32.htm

[Sunshine]

[Winston]

Hi Sunshine,
Wow you are a nice eclectic. Do you ever feel like you belong in another time too? Do you come from a nice middle class family with good values, like the Brady Bunch? hehe

You said you are from South East, does that mean you're from Georgia? Why do you live in a black neighborhood? Are the white neighborhoods there friendly to you?

Yes I know what you mean. In America it's easier to talk to guys. Young women are hard to connect with or have a meaningful conversation with. It's hard to explain but you know what I mean. They are just the opposite of down-to-earth. This is especially true of white women, not to be racist or anything, that's just my consistent experience. Even snobby Asian American girls are easier to talk to than white American girls are. They are just a different breed and put up a strange wall. In Europe, white women are very different from white women in America.

If your Danish guy is brutally blunt and honest, I wouldn't consider that to be asshole behavior. Asshole behavior is more like treating people badly. Is it common for Danish people to be like that?

Maybe you can show your Danish guy the articles on this site and see what he thinks?

[Sunshine]

[BellaRuth]

Hi

I can't comment on America because I've never been, but it's good to have your perspective here!

[Sunshine]