Great Letters From Those Who Left America and Found Happiness

Great Letters From Those Who Left America and Found Happiness Abroad

Hear it in their own words, moving, inspiring, intelligent and straight from the heart.

Absolutely true! Every word in the 10 reasons. I was married to an American woman for 14 years. I left the marriage a hollow shell, a broken man. Why couldn't I do anything right? Everything was my fault, right? I must have been the evil bastard she described! Long story short = the AW got the house, and the 500K of capital gains (California). Not to mention my heart andf soul. I licked my wounds for 5 years, feeling bad about myself.

Then, I discovered Mexico. At the age of 42, I found a new life. I met a fantastic woman... loving, selfless, sharing, caring, and did I mention drop-dead gorgeous? I am now living in Southern Mexico, completely happy. I have been married to my Oaxaquena for 3 years, and the heat just gets hotter. We actually appreciate each other and life together is a 2 way street. She is always at my sid ewith encouragement and support. And no, we don't place a lot of value on material things. When I am up in the states on business, or to visit my side of the family, I am quickly ready to come home. I laugh at the poor bastards I see chasing tail with their tongues hanging out. I don't give any american woman any thought except what a kid must think after the first time he touches a hot stove. I have been relieved of the sickness the shallow ones!

One need only sit in a coffee shop in a mall for 5 minutes to see the problem in its stark reality. Watch the women as they salivate over material goods and ignore everything and everyone in the area besides themselves. Do you see any smiles or eye contact going on? Absolutely none. In Mexico, smiles, personal greetings, hugs, kisses on the cheek, fond embraces are the order of the day. Contrast this with fake tits, collagen lips, and harried scowls, evil countenances, and the inability to pass up any type of reflective surface. Whattaya got? I have no use for American women. I only feel bad that I wasted 14 years of my life on one of them. RIGHT ON with the 10 rules!

http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3958

Let’s see, climb the corporate ladder, work over-time doing things you hate for people who look down on you to pay for a house you can’t afford and a fancy car that depreciates as soon as you drive it off the lot.

Getting a measly two weeks of vacation time while Euros get months.

Slave away at this job only to have the company down-size or get taken over and have your position made obsolete and find out that you are unemployable since you are middle-aged.

To bust your ass trying to please American women and get their attention.

Marrying your sweetheart only to see her turn into a nagging fat shrew.

Working at said job and finally retiring when you are too old to enjoy your freedom, consigned to watching “Oprah” at the senior center, playing canasta on Saturday nights and having” Senior’s Night” at Denny’s your weekly thrill.

No thank you!

Most men are indoctrinated from birth via the schools and the mass media into becoming enslaved for life to this treadmill.

Men become so preoccupied with covering up his ass at work (meeting quotas) and playing the political game while desperately trying to meet suitable women.

American society has changed radically over the past century before WWI most Americans worked at agrarian jobs, born, raised, marrying and dying within a few miles of his birthplace.
He probably went to a church which was a place where all the community met.
He knew and was known by all of the females from childbirth having gone to school and to the same church as they attended.
There were matchmakers, barn-dances, ice cream socials to allow singles to meet.

Finding a mate was easier as women were expected to find a decent husband and were raised to respect men.

The Industrial Age and WWI changed all that as farm-boys went to war and
were suddenly exposed to fighting in a foreign country, growing up very fast and being exposed to a alien culture.
The mass-marketing of the automobile and the creation of the Intercontinental Highway system made America a mobile society.
Now people can live in a neighborhood and scarcely know their neighbors.

Feminism has destroyed trust between genders and now men are seen as predators/criminals/fools.

Mass communication is cheaper and easier than ever with cell-phone, internet, VIOP and chat-rooms yet people are more isolated and out of touch than ever.

There is no real effective way for singles to meet nowadays as men are working overtime to make ends meet and have little time to socialize.
But that is what they were told to believe in and it makes them great wage-slaves who can be easily manipulated.

Personally I tried singles groups, singles ads and partner-danced for years with
little result.

I have friends who haven’t had a date for years and are unlikely ever to meet a decent woman.

Those relationship “experts” are like the American Cancer Society, they are not interested in helping you but to rake in cash from desperate people dying to meet a partner.

A few men have found the courage to get off the treadmill and find their fortunes
Overseas.
It’s not easy, some men have fallen on their faces but most have succeeded.

Dark

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I teach English here in LOS (Land of Smiles), it doesn’t pay much but the cost of
living is much lower than the States.

I managed to buy a beachfront condo in Pattaya on the Eastern Seaboard.

The first thing a potential expatriate must do to make a successful escape is to commit
and make a choice on actively exploring the notion of leaving one’s homeland.
He must commit to make as many field trips as he can to check out the country desired.
He must cease merely dreaming about living abroad immediately as that encourages procrastination.
He will instead visualize himself actually working, living and playing in the chosen country.
He will read all books on how to successfully expatriate.
He will research on the chosen country, learn something about the culture, history and
some of the language.

Once he is there he will connect with the expatriates already living there via the many expat clubs.
He will ask hard questions about the reality and ins and outs of living there and finding
work.
He will visit the local realty companies to check out condos and houses.
After he does all of this if he still is motivated he will make a decision and stick to it.

Everything he does from now on will support his expatriating.

He will get rid of that fancy car with its expensive monthly payments.
He will move out of that fancy apartment and into a trailer park to save money
or convert his property into a source of income.
He will cease useless hobbies that are a financial drain such as playing the horses or
going to lap-dance clubs.
So what if your family and friends raise their eyebrows, you are busy
engineering your escape to a better life.
He will make financial arrangements with his accountant for overseas
communication and tax returns.
He will start disposing of accumulated junk in his life that’s served its purpose but is
now a drag on his life.
Junk such as comic book collections, old love letters for exe’s, bowling trophies, etc.
He should be down to a suitcase and a carry-on by the time he departs.
He will set a firm date for moving out, if he doesn’t he will find more excuses for
inaction and never commit.
He will be very discreet about his plans to casual acquaintances especially Western women especially if he plans to move to Thailand.
He will find that doubters, mostly female will come out and try to discourage you.

They will cast doubt on your manhood ( “What’s wrong, are you threatened by strong
American women?”).
They will tell your half-truths about moving abroad ( “it’s dangerous, you’ll be
back in a month.”).

Do not depend on mainstream travel guide for information relevant to expatriating.
They are written for back-packers, wealthy couples, women, Gays and Lesbians.

“Lonely Planet” is very slanted against the single heterosexual male tourist and
is not to be depended upon..
On-line forums such as www.pattayasecrets.com are better and have less disinformation.

Putting up pictures of the country’s landmarks and post-it notes on bathroom mirrors
with encouraging phrases is helpful.

I have strong doubts that any of this is going to be listened to much less act upon.

Few Americans even have passports.
Most men are used to being wage-slaves and will block out any information or advice
from friends about becoming an expatriate.
Most will just read this, shake their heads, and declare that it’s a hopeless dream and return
to working at a soulless job with a miserable commute and a rancid nationwide dating
environment.
Thousand of expats live abroad, why not you?

DarkTalay

I emigrated to the US in 1978 because I was escaping from military service in a dictatorial country which was getting ready for war.

I love the US for its gov't, its business structure, it's educational opportunities and its political and religious freedoms. I love the general Anglo Saxon sense of responsibility and how efficiently and smartly things are done. I am a US citizen now and will not change that no matter what. I have repaid all debts I owed, never defaulted on student loans and am a law-abiding citizen.

But there are things that I do not like and they are of social character- racial discrimination in social interactions, how people are officially divided into Whites, Blacks, Hispanics and Asians, etc. an how females behave, dress and treat men. I do not like the high divorce rate. I do not like how people are hyphenated- Irish-American, Italian-American etc. Even in Social Security annals, they right " foreign-born" and "American-born".
Why they need to do it is beyond me.

Also, if you are a male immigrant from a non-white/non 1st world country, you will generally not be accepted as dating material by American women. I have heard and seen it over and over again. Plus the "real" Americans will not want to associate with you for friendship either. Even if you have a tiniest trace of an accent, you will be rejected. Socially, it is very nativistic and snobbish. This is why, unlike in quite a few other countries( even China , Korea and Japan) foreign men ( even Bangladeshis) have local wives, in America you almost never see that. Even I know Germans here who have Germans wives, not American ones.

The best and most natural way of integrating into society is by marrying into it but it rarely happens to immigrant men in the US. They are just not marriage material.

Plus in the US people generally live in ethnic ghettoes and do not associate with others. I call it apartheid and I am very much against apartheids.

In the country where I grew up I was a popular guy and had dates and many friends. I became a lonely man in the US. I could not stand it and decided that I had to combine America with another country. Since I began doing that, first by going to Japan and then other countries, my loneliness disappeared. It was the right choice for me and it worked for me.

The last straw? I applied for several jobs and they would not hire me. They kept asking me about the country I was from and all that. They did not like the fact that I spoke many languages. "Why? What is your nationality?"

I also got called a "foreigner" at one job I did get, and when I protested and said I was

citizen, I was told "I mean a foreigner, not born here." That was it. I was on the next plane out. I owe it to myself to live in a friendly place where people are not so nasty.

yup -- these guys are right on the money. I flew to France after quitting a job in Silicon Valley...(where the women are absolutely terrible!)

I go to a French language school and take a class....I make 20 new friends overnight....I meet my future wife...I get married and now 2yrs later...im STILL HAPPY!

I dont want to bunch all American girls into one big lump....BUT -- the majority of them due to culture or something act really snotty and stupid - like were not GOOD ENOUGH for them....and to be honest and not toot my horn - i was voted Prom King in highschool...so Id hope to think that Im not THAT ugly at least...but i swear i went 12yrs in the bay area - and rarely found a girl who even batted an eye....and quite frankly i started to lower my own standards lower and lower....and for what? The moment i traveled anywhere else - i found girls that would SINK any american girl that ignored me...now i have a wife that turns heads left and right - but she is staring right into my eyes with love.

Hey Winston,

I'm around 6'1" and attractive by Asian standards. What that meant was that I could usually find a girlfriend (Asian mostly) without too much trouble in the U.S. On the other hand, I too still faced the discrimination that all Asian men are subject to.

I had white American girls yell "Ewwww! Yuck!" to my face when I approached them at a club. I could go on but I'm sure you get the point.

The reason I left the U.S. was because I found it to be a profoundly depressing and soulless existence living in North America. I hate life in U.S. suburbs the most. Cookie-cutter houses. Endless strip malls filled with the same stores (Blockbuster, McDonalds, etc). Having to drive EVERYWHERE. Spending every night watching television or DVDs in my big, isolated house. Weekends with nothing to do but go shopping at the mall. Like many people, I always felt half-dead whenever I spent significant periods of time in the U.S. I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized it. It was American culture. It was the American media. To put it bluntly, American culture is a ghetto culture that values flash over substance, superficial consumerism over spiritual growth. It's a culture that has an invisible racial hierarchy that places Asian men at the bottom and is obsessed with all things white or black American. It's a country that is built for doing business, not living life.

Anyhow, I've lived in many places during my life. And as we all know, each place has its good bits and its bad bits.

I've now learned to take the best bits of the U.S. (namely, service and business) and transfer it to my life abroad.

Hey there Winston,

You probably don't remember me at all but I had a really long series of e-mail conversations with you a few years back. I don't think I used the same e-mail address though or I used an anonymous nickname at the time. I don't remember the exact year but it was probably around 2002 or 2003 when your website was a chronicle about all the problems you were encountering in

Russia

. I believe my initial responses to you were kind of critical in regards to your adventures in Russia and your motivations. Well, like you I am an Asian-American and I made the decision to live abroad in 2005. I haven't regretted it one bit and it has been a life changing (and saving) experience. It’s interesting and sort of funny to me that it seems you decided to live abroad roughly around the same time as I did. I always considered this option and deep down inside it’s what I was planning for in my life. I was far from being a “loser” in the

U.S.

, I was hired by a police dept and was going to work in law enforcement as a career. I fit the “type A” personality attributes pretty well because I’m fit, decent looking if not handsome, confident, outspoken, and I have managed my personal life well. However, I spent a couple weeks in the academy and realized that I could never become a cop. It wasn’t because I lacked the ability or the interest in police work it’s just that the motivation wasn’t there to “protect and serve” communities in the U.S. I had absolutely no interest in building a life in America and the people I was surrounded with just put all that into perspective.

After I quit the academy I felt fairly depressed because it was the first time I quit something major in my life. I felt like a failure for a couple years because I didn’t buckle down and go through with it despite my reservations. I even tried a couple more times to enter into law enforcement. This was done more to convince myself to fit into American society professionally rather than doing what I really wanted to do in my heart. It was only after I decided to put everything on hold for awhile and do some soul searching that I figured out what was really bothering me. It wasn’t me at all it WAS the society I was living in. I am just not materialistic or infatuated with conforming to the American ideal of what an American male should be or what constitutes the fabled “American ethic.” The whole idea repulses me and I feel a deep seeded disgust and aversion towards what many Americans stand for. It’s too bad I didn’t figure this out for myself until much later.. all told I wasted a good 4-5 years from 2001 until 2005 with indecisions about my life. Those should have been the prime years of my life spent partying, socializing, laying down a career path, and just enjoying my youth but I am still young (29) and have been happily living abroad the past couple years.

Let's face it America is good for some things like making money, developing stable businesses, and enjoying the natural landscape however the standard of living is highly overrated and downright poor in many respects. People in America are stressed, sexless, annoyed, and angry most of the time. You can see it in mainstream American culture, the macho bullshit posturing, the elitism, and the feminist nonsense. I know some people will deny this and call us "pathetic" for our choices but I know too many American expats from all walks of life who are happily living abroad to discount this as mere coincidence. The english speaking western world has really pigeonholed itself as a moralistic, productive, and order based society but I feel the more you order and categorize people's lives the less happy they are. I’m not even going to get into all the racial discrimination, social politics, and other nonsense that pervades every aspect of American life either. Let’s just say that I’m sure you know about as much as I do how bad it can be as an asian minority in the U.S. Actually, it’s not even a race thing these days. I find a lot of my friends from ALL racial backgrounds to express how sick and tired they are of the bullshit they face in daily American life. However, the vast majority of these guys will never leave. They just don’t have the options on the table because they set down responsibilities and roots that will not allow them that mobility. I feel for them, if only they knew..

Once you go abroad it’s difficult to go back. My first extended experience living overseas opened my eyes in a variety of ways. People will always be people but I believe that culture is the single biggest influence on people. There is definitely something wrong with America in this respect.

America

may be a lot of good things..productive, prosperous, and relatively free but the socialization of its citizens is much less advanced than other (much more economically poorer) countries I’ve been in. The way I look at it quality of life isn’t just all about money. It’s about what you can do with yourself in that society and how comfortable you feel around others. In America I was never truly “comfortable” but always felt tense or slightly agitated at the people around me. There’s definitely a hostility and tenseness to social interaction there that I don’t feel anywhere else. That’s a lot of negativity to deal with daily so it’s not surprising that out of all industrialized first world countries Americans generally have the least healthy lifestyles and shortest overall life spans.

Anyways, this e-mail ended up being a lot longer and more personal than I anticipated. Feel free to quote from this if you would like to. There are a lot of other observations I’d like to make including various countries I’ve traveled to in the past couple years but I’ll save that for another e-mail.

Also, Winston keep up the good work. I really feel you are one of the more intelligent and insightful individuals out there on the internet. I’m sure there are lots of American men of all backgrounds who agree with your articles. Ignore the naysayers and bitter Americans out there who want to bring you down to their level. Be yourself and be happy with life. Life is short and sometimes that’s all we can do is just be.

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