Marcus Aurelius From Happy Bachelors
Hi, I'm "Marcus Aurelius" a moderator from the Happy Bachelors Forum. I've decided to start posting on here too. I've got a lot to say LOL.
First off, I need to mention that I've been reading your articles, watching your videos, and following the posts on this forum for quite some time without actually joining it. I had found this site mentioned somewhere, I think it was http://www.nomarriage.com; and have been following it ever since. I am a HUGE FAN OF YOUR WORK. To say that it was INSTRUMENTAL in my choice to not give up on women entirely, but rather to look abroad for women of quality would be an understatement.
There is most certainly a difference. I can tell already, being new to it.
About myself: I've been on both sides of the 'game' fence in this country. When I was younger, I went through long periods of rejection; to the point where it was impossible for me to even get a date, much less get laid. But when I got to be a junior in high school, this was back in '95; because of personal lifestyle choices only, evidently I began to project the ever desirable 'bad boy image'; and went from famine to 'feast' overnight. Suddenly I was no longer being ignored, but getting PICKED left and right by them. I use that word strongly. I don't care what the nonsensical PUA's will say to the contrary, as I have studied their drivel....but all it really is, is peackocking. The man struts his feathers in a certain way to draw more attention, but ultimately, it is still the female that picks. Really, PUA boils down to a backward social evolution, it is an ADAPTION to the twisted social construct that is the dating scene in the united states and other western countries. I never really needed the PUA crap, I apparently seemed like a badass to the rabble, so they would PICK me, eliminating my need to peackock for them for the most part.
But then a curious thing happens. F. Roger Devlin calls it hypergamy, and I think he is dead on. I'll use the PUA terminology. They pick you as an Alpha male, but once they actually HAVE you, they suddenly no longer WANT you to be alpha....they instead try to turn you into Beta. This has happened in nearly every relationship I have had with an american woman. They always want to 'change' me. If I actually got some change for every time a girlfriend would say "I needed to change" in some ridiculous way, I would be a very wealthy man. And so what does a man do if he wants to get laid? He conforms. I would try to jump through all their hoops while they dangled that stupid carrot on a stick. But then something strange occurs. Like Frankenstein's monster, after a duration of time, they begin to resent their own creation. Suddenly because I became the beta they wanted, I was 'boring', 'uninteresting' or 'predictable'. Then they would leave me for another bad boy, and repeat the same process ad nauseum. Hypergamy. Nearly every relationship I have been in with an american girl has ended with infidelity on their part.
This last occurred over a year ago now, with a girl that I thought was 'the one.' We were together for seven years....and I did not propose to her in that duration of time because many of my younger mysogynistic attitudes were still present, but rather dormant. I still did not trust women, not after what I had been through. I figured if she makes it to TEN years then maybe I would CONSIDER marriage. But the final couple years of the relationship, those all too familiar kinks started showing. I was suddenly 'predictable' and 'boring' because I liked to live a quiet, grounded, home lifestyle. Then she cheated on me, cheated on me with a 20 year old alcoholic, who had already been arrested for two dui's before even turning 21. I, the original alpha had become too beta, so she replaced me with another bad boy. The same spinning Samsara, over and over again. I also realized that she probably only stayed in the relationship as long as she did because she had not found a suitable replacement. A woman, I have found through personal experience, usually will stay in a monogamous relationship so long as it suits her, and until a better option becomes available. Her foot had been out the door for a long time, and I didn't even realize it.
So this left me with an interesting dilema. My western mysogynistic attitudes came right back to the forefront, and I realized I was just plain fed up with the shit. I was also fed up with people telling me "Oh, you'll be fine. You just haven't met the right one." No, I just meet them over and over again, until they tire of me for one reason or another then discard me. Being somewhat of a knee jerk reaction, I stepped with one foot back into the game. I joined Plenty of Fish and started hitting the nightclubs. Let me break these two down in brief....
Plenty of Fish/domestic dating websites: Plenty of Fish should be renamed Plenty of Single Moms. I like these new ads for them that are popping up on various websites "have you gotten a message from a hot girl today at plenty of fish?" Hot girl? Oh really? Which? The girl that is seperated and has 3 kids...who of course doesn't want more. You're just shit out of luck if you want kids of your own with these women, but OH YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ON ALL THEIR BAGGAGE!!! That is par for the course! I was amazed at the audacity of those women in particular. Here I am, 32 years old, never been married, have no children....yet I am supposed to settle for used up goods? Call me old fashioned, but I want a girl that has never been married and has no kids. That took out about 70% of fish swimming around in those dirty waters. That left me with unnatractive women, weirdos, and mean, stuck up bitches. I went on a few dates with women I met from there, and each experience was worse than sitting in a dentist chair. I felt no attraction to them whatsoever. Also, many of the other dating websites are just pure shit. Like date.com. You get tons and tons of emails of interest, but when YOU ACTUALLY SIGN UP FOR THE SIGHT, YOU GET ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. One quickly realizes it's a scam, fake profiles to get you to pay and sign up. No thanks.
Nightclubs: These have gotten even worse than when I was in my early twenties. It's like when you go to the zoo and observe the animals. That's what I liken this experience to. Most times, if you even make so much as eye contact with an american girl, she will give you a death stare. "Don't you f***ing talk to me, YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH" look. Everything you say about us being isolationist here in this country is spot on. If you try to pop the bubble, the will tear you apart...much like if you were to climb into the zoo cage with a grizzly bear. Worse, even then that, Winson, is how I observe their actual BEHAVIOR. It wasn't until I hit the clubs again after about ten years absence from it that I realized just how bad women had become. In the past, in the late 90s, I remember the simulated sex dancing was quite popular....but AT LEAST THEY WERE DOING IT WITH MEN. On a typical night, at any given club, I see the same thing, night in and night out. The men will all be standing around, either by themselves or in small groups, while the women are doing the 'freak' dancing, or simulated sex dancing ON THEMSELVES. I see women grinding on other women everywhere. I rarely ever even see men on the dance floor at all. They are just standing around. Further, their behavior is quite appalling. I don't see how any man in his right mind could find this attractive. They dress like prostitutes, but act with LESS CLASS. I never fail, I repeat, I NEVER FAIL to see at least one woman throwing up in the middle of the club, and usually several stumbling around or falling down completely. And of course the manginas will then rush to the aid of a 'damsel in distress'. One time recently, a drunk skank with tatoos all over her arms fell down right in front of me......and I being the gentleman that I am, did the only thing a true gentleman would do; I walked away. The manginas of course were looking at me like I was a monster. LOL. So this is how a single dude meets women, eh? FUNNY THING IS I DON'T SEE ANY MEETING GOING ON AT ALL. It's just a bunch of drunk women making asses of themselves, and men standing around with their thumbs up their ass.
As quickly as I entered the game again in this country, I slammed the door on it. So what was I to do? Give up on women altogether? My best friend then presented me with the alternative. FOREIGN WOMEN. He recomended me to several sites that would give me the scoop on it. That's how I found your site. As noted, I read your articles, watched your videos, studied this forum....so really, I owe you a thank you. That's part of the reason why I'm here. My best friend was a good model for the sucess of it too; he'd given up on domestics a long time ago, while I was still running my samsara wheel, and he is getting married this summer to a beautiful brazillian woman he met on internationalcupid. So I decided screw it, why not give THAT a try myself. I signed up for cupid.
And I'm damn glad I did. I have to confess something. I have ALWAYS been hopelessly attracted to asian women, ever since I was a kid and first started noticing girls. I've always thought, generally speaking, that they were the most beautiful women in the world. But because most of them that were born and raised HERE seem to have the same feminist qualities as the western women do, I never had any success with them. In my 'bad boy' days I was more the 'rebel' looking bad boy, and they seemed to prefer the jocky, frat boy type; so I was always rejected by them whenever I would ask an asian girl out. So I decided, since I truly WAS a Happy Bachelor, and could take or leave women in general, to zero in on EXACTLY what I wanted or bust...because I didn't care the outcome. So on Cupid, I got tons and tons of mail from quality women all over the globe, but I ignored all of them....unless they were asians. As it stood, I was particularly interested in the phillipines as I'd heard a lot of good things about their women on here, and on other sites like this.
Then it happened. I met a fillipino girl who was living in Indonesia as an ESL teacher, and there was no going back. She had joined the site not because she was specifically seeking a man or a relationship, but because she was lonely in Indonesia, as she is a devout Roman Catholic and was in an Islamic dominated society. She was just looking for people to talk too. We met in September of last year, talked online and on the phone almost daily....until it culminated into the fact that we had really fallen for each other. In march, I went out there to visit her in Indonesia, and it was my first bachelor trip abroad, and it was without a doubt the best week of my life. In seven days that woman made me happier than all the years of bullshit I had put up with american women. She was everything they were not, and what's more...it was NATURAL...not the fake act that western women use to ensnare a man and then drop once they have him. She was sweet, elegant, cultured, refined. She was also very attentive. Constantly making sure I was happy, having a good time....in short, I have never, never in my life, Winston, seen a woman act the way she did. It was like she was from another planet!!!
The cultural difference was night and day in Indonesia too. People were friendly everywhere I went, none of that bubble shit there. Everyone was saying hello to me. Strangers would strike up conversations with me. Women would check me out, and they always made eye contact. The night clubs were different too. The men were dancing with women there, in fact, they were even interactive. They had everyone doing line dances and things like that. I'd never seen things like that at a club before.
It's just unbelievable. I've told people I know she is my UPGRADE. Finally the Samsara is broken. I finally got my beautiful asian girl, and more importanly than that, is I got a woman of out of this world quality. She is everything I could have ever wanted in a girl, that would have been absolutely IMPOSSIBLE here. I feel like the luckiest man alive as I write this. She is coming here to live with me, with her family's blessing, to go to school and get a nursing degree while I am in Seminary. Some people have cautioned me about bringing her here; but that is for the time being while we are in school. She likes the idea of ultimately moving back to the Phillipines to be near her family: and so do I. But as far as her being here, like my best friend, we don't fear the cultural bullshit of this toilet poisoning our women: because THEIR culture is so different. Both my fillipina and his Brazillian place the family unit above individual gain and satisfaction: which is why the marriages of all their families have LASTED. They don't subscribe to the TOXIC Me first ideal of this country. My girl's family would literally disown her if she got married and then turned around and divorced, she says, and I believe it. The divorce rate in her country is about nil. Happier abroad, indeed.
Thank you so much for all your work effort. You are an inspiration, Winston. I only wish more men would wake up and see the light like we have.