HAPPIER
ABROAD Why
Dating, Social Life and Mental Health are Better Beyond
Hear from others who testify that dating is all about location, location, location!
With all the letters I get from others and the many
posts on my Forum testifying that dating is like real estate - all about
location, location, location - I’ve ran out of places in this ebook to put
them, so I’ve created this section to post them. Hear are their testimonies and accounts, in
their own words. (edited for spelling only)
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4077
"Hi all, well my story is about the same as
yours, but here it is anyway: for a long time I blamed myself for my lack of
success with American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself
to the point where I would be worthy of a decent American woman. I got myself a
Ph.D., then a job at an Ivy-league school, got myself into excellent physical
shape, took up lots of cool hobbies like skiing, tennis, ballroom dance... and
I was still getting rejected by women who had no business being picky! I had my
epiphany when I was 33 and dating an overweight, 42-year-old, divorced mother
who dumped me because I didn't have a "wild side". So then I did some
traveling to (among other places)
"Hi Winston,
Wow, what a great news!!!
Winston, you are a pioneer. You are inspiring Asian American men everywhere
to take the plunge and travel to
Yesterday I went to see Nutcracker Ballet with a
beautiful 26 year old
The plain fact is that most Asian American men are
treated so shabbily by American girls. We are simply zero to them.
And most Asian American men are totally discouraged IMO (in my opinion).
They think they have absolutely no chance dating a beautiful girl of their
dreams. Well, Winston, you have shown that it can be done. Not in
I consider coming to
"Hell for me started in junior high school (I
attended Sunnyvale Jr. High) in sixth grade. It’s basically the same
story as yours. I went to
Although I am an agnostic, when it comes to my romantic life, I like to
jokingly say that “Jesus saved me.” In 1999 (when I was 23), my parents,
who are Catholic, wanted to make a pilgrimage to the
Keep this in mind... I am not passive. I am an extrovert who goes up and
talks to women I am interested in. This got me absolutely nowhere in the
In
One year later, in the summer of 2000, I decide to try a personal experiment...
I want to know if there is something wrong with me, or with
I come back to the
"I could not agree more on the sorry state of
American women (in terms of dating in general). For me, Chinese women (in
I applaude you courage and wish you the best.
ZN"
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=6394#6394
"I have seen
that because my personality remains unchanged, as I go from country to country
the reactions of women to me are incredibly different. Why do I attract women
in one country and not in another? Because of different cultures and values
that they have vis-a vis men. When I lived in
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=2412
"I've never
been to the
It's
not hard to meet girls in
That
said, the girls from the north, from Issan chiefly, figure disproportionately
in the plans of farangs (Westerners) because these girls are the ones who work
in the bars and massage parlors of
That
was my first trip abroad, Winston, and it has convinced me that your position
that Western guys can have a better life in other countries is absolutely
correct. More men die of happiness in
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=1898
“I was very nervous around women, I found it nearly
impossible to engage a woman in a conversation. I was convinced that was the
reason I couldn't get dates. I was angry at myself for not being able to
overcome this, but trying harder only made it worse. I spent a lot of time
thinking about it and went to a doctor and was prescribed anti-anxiety medications
but they didn't really help.
This problem came to an unexpected halt when I
traveled to Asia and within a week I learned that I am really only abnormally
nervous around American women. When I thought about it, this actually made
perfect sense.
When I'm in a country like Thailand or the
Philippines, I know that I am desirable to the women there (I get reassured of
that everyday). So even if I get turned down by a woman, she probably has a good
reason to say no, and she will be flattered rather than act like I'm some
creep.
When I'm overseas, I don't subconsciously feel like
I'm doing something wrong by flirting with a woman.
What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an
entirely different species than western women. If I had been told 2 years ago
that my love shyness/social anxiety with women could be solved simply by
changing the type of women that I was pursuing, I probably wouldn't have
believed it. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully
understand.”
http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com/2007/04/top-ten-reasons-why-american-women-suck.html
“Absolutely true! Every word in the 10 reasons. I was
married to an American woman for 14 years. I left the marriage a hollow shell,
a broken man. Why couldn't I do anything right? Everything was my fault, right?
I must have been the evil bastard she described! Long story short = the AW got
the house, and the 500K of capital gains (California). Not to mention my heart
andf soul. I licked my wounds for 5 years, feeling bad about myself.
Then, I discovered
One need only sit in a coffee shop in a mall for 5
minutes to see the problem in its stark reality. Watch the women as they
salivate over material goods and ignore everything and everyone in the area
besides themselves. Do you see any smiles or eye contact going on? Absolutely
none. In
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4219
“Last night on a
foreign subway, I gave my business card to the most gorgeous woman in the
world, a 20 year old college student 30 years younger than myself whom I had
only said a few words to about her dressing very stylishly. Then I got off the
subway car saying please send me a text message sometime.
Just as
the doors were closing, she jumped off the subway car asking for clarification
about why I gave her my card. The subway pulled away.
Five
hours later, after dinner, we were holding hands while walking along a river.
Her
education level was way, way above the best Harvard student I have dated (and I
have dated a number of Harvard students).
I could
not have been happier about my decision to live outside the
The
above would NEVER happen in the
From
YouTube Reviews about this site:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=v4yVrx2QYzo
realteruchan
(3 days ago) Reply | Spam +2
”Nonsense.
I've been to many places, like
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kdIOibpEmTM
”Social
economics doesn't explain why the dating scene is so much better in Shanghai or
Tokyo where it is equally easy for an American to date hot women, even
successful women. They certainly have no desire to go to the
Actually
I know many guys who find the dating scene in
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4517
“This reminds me of when I worked in
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4742
”Hi all, I'm Jon. I've lurked around here for a while and finally signed up.
I'm a youthful 40, in great shape ,and own a few web businesses. I lived for
about 10 years in
Perhaps it's because I stayed gone so long, but when I returned to the
I appreciate Winston doing this site because frankly, I know he's right. Before
I moved abroad my social life in the
I've been back a couple of years and I've really tried to make things happen
here. But now I have finally had enough. This year (2009) I'm planning to leave
the country. I haven't decided exactly where I'll go yet (I'm considering a few
places), but I do know that I'm definitly leaving, and "sooner rather than
later."
I have seen the quality of my social and dating life go down significantly here
in the
If anyone wants to chat and/or share info about moving abroad, please be in
touch. I'm social and cooperative by nature (as opposed to paranoid and
competitive). Perhaps that's WHY I don't fit in the
Be well,
Jon”
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4580
”I completely agree with you mobstersreport. I have a very similar siuation.
I'm 40, no kids, divorced years ago, in excellent shape, own my own web biz,
well-travelled and educated, but I'm finding myself "stuck" in
I left the
Unfortunately, I lost my European residence visa a few years ago and had to
move back to the
Ironically, women that I wouldn't give a second glance to in
So I've find myself in the same boat you're in -- looking for way out, and just
trying to decide where to go and how to proceed forward. I'm very lucky in that
I have an established internet business that pays the bills, so I can work from
anywhere in the world. I've been considering heading over to the Philippines
and checking that out, but an acquaintance of mine has also got me interested
in Brazil.
Either way, I'll be making a decision soon and getting the F out of here. J The Philippines seems to have the most relaxed visa
regulations, making it possible to stay there almost indefinitely if you work
within the system, So that's certainly a big plus ( The lovely ladies are
another of course).
Which brings me to my last point: it's tough for a lot of guys to just up and
leave the U. S., even though they know in their heart they'll be glad they did
and their life will improve once they've done it. So I think people like us
should stick together and join forces whenever possible. Traveling the world or
relocating to another country can be challenging, but it becomes a lot easier
when you have a like-minded "wing man."
So if anyone on here is in a similar situation and would like to compare notes,
or potentially even buddy up to travel, please be in touch. I'm open to suggestions.
Finally, I know I’ve written a short novel here as a first post, but I want
everyone on this site to know that Winston is 100% right. I have lived abroad
and seen the difference in my social life, in how it made me feel inside; and
I've also seen the antisocial lame-ass dating scene in the US, and how it
undermines a man's confidence and inhibits his ability to simply be himself. It
is an absolute shame, and no man should have to live that way.
Thanks for a great site Winston. You're doing a service to all American guys by
exposing the limited possibilities for happiness and social connection in the
US.
Also going abroad in 2009,
Merc”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwkYiCJ0rJU
“So true! I went to
“Winston,
you're absolutely right about foreign women vs American "women".
Foreign women are far more cultured, intelligent, sociable and sophisticated
than American women. I can honestly say that once you meet a foreign woman, you
will never go back to an American woman again. You've mentioned this in your
forum, but this trip abroad confirmed everything you said. You're absolutely
right. Keep up the good work.”
“After reading all your ebooks and following
your advice to visit Lithuania I did and met the love of my life. I really give
you credit because you are 100% right. I'm never dating or going with a
shallow, superficial american woman ever again. I
would also like to let you know that I am getting married in MAY 2008. Keep up
the good work Winston you do inspire people.”
http://www.happierabroad.com/Love_Adventure_Philippines.htm
“Then the second girl called me and said these words:
"Hello, my name is
Inday, we met in the jeepney. I told all the girls in college about you and
they all want to meet you."
Yup! They ALL want to
meet me.
I went to a department
store and again it was chuck full of little miss Universes- sales girls. I
approached a counter and they crowded me.
" You are so
cute. Your face is so cute". Then on another occasion I was paying for
some stuff that I bought and the cashiers started whispering something. I
though something was wrong. The answer was: "Very handsome"."
Who, me?" "Yes, you". "What is so handsome about me?"
"I don't know, maybe it is your tantalizing eyes". And they
started laughing.
I could go on and on
and on. I would sit down and relax and girls would pass by and whisper to each
other pointing me out. The word I learned was "gwapo"- handsome. Once
I was just crossing the road. Four young ladies linked their hands and would
not let me through. Sales girls from stalls would call out- "Hello,
Darling!"
After a few days, I
noticed something different about me when I looked in the mirror. My eyes were
no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the
way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired. Women should seek him out
and not the other way around. Rejections and maltreatment by women in the
A place like that was
not planet Earth the way I knew it. At least it should not be planet Earth. It
was a Shangri-lah.
At night, my nightlife
would start. I would go to bars and karaoke establishments and there would be
girls everywhere and not many guys. The girls would crowd me. They were so
gorgeous I was out of breath.
In the US, if you go
to a night club, you always see more guys than girls and the guys look glum and
pissed off. The girls look like they are princesses even if butt ugly. Here it
was different. The guys looked friendly and non-threatening. Most were just
relaxing. No competition. Enough girls for everyone to go around.
Eventually, I took
three girls who were working in the karaoke and we went to a resort where we
rented a hut on the beach under palm trees. If there is a heavenly situation
that one can imagine, it would probably be falling alseep in a bamboo house
while listening to the surf and the wind rustling in the palm trees while being
hugged by three angelic young ladies from the South Seas...
That's living!. No
amount of job satisfaction or professional achievement cannot bring you close
to the sense of fullfilment that such experiences can bring.”
“Dude,
You are 100% right about european women
and american women
It is so easy to meet women in europe.
If you are well traveled, well spoken and
educated you will meet the nicest girls
I traveled all over europe. I dated the
most beautiful women.
I married a beautiful girl from the
Ukraine.
I wasted years on carribean cruises, and
should have gone to europe.
I support your comparison 100%.
American women don't get it.
In my travels I would say in europe the
toughest girls are Czech and French.
Russians, Latvian, Ukrainian are the
nicests and sweetest.
John”
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=6549
“Wow, I thought it was my imagination or
something.
Last year I spent a month and a half in
Europe and the whole time I was there I experienced an ease and comfort in
social interactions that led me to keep thinking to myself: "Whats been
the big deal all these years?....theres nothing wrong with me at all"
At the time I mistakenly thought that I
had just finally broken through some sort of personal hang ups that had
previously been holding me back.
About a week after returning home I
realized that it was going to be back to the same old shit.
I actually broke down in the street
crying.”
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4278
“Winston's blogs and photojournals are
epic! I have a new internet hobby now: reading Winston's stories.
I'm moving to
I'm a 32-year old Canadian guy and I am
actually fairly attractive (so much for modesty) and educated and so on. I
spent 2 years teaching English in
I'm a "nice guy". I don't let
people walk all over me but I'm not about to go out and hurt others, either.
I've been back in
So, I'm giving up my well-paying job here
and going back overseas and I don't know if I'm ever coming back. If I can find
someone to marry and raise a family with, all the better. At the very least
I'll be somewhere where people aren't such a-holes. If
Winston is absolutely right from my
experiences. I had to go somewhere and then come back to see the light, but I
definitely see it.”
“I discovered what you
now know about the reality of courting and dating American women some many
years ago.
As a middle aged guy,
never married, I’m now in a serious relationship with a Hispanic woman, very
beautiful, in
Here in Arkansas, in the
lower Midwest (midsouth), where I grew up, still today, (and I’m 45), rarely
ever, do I ever get any beautiful women approaching me, either at a bar, in
public, or anywhere that wishes to get to know me for simply being a guy.
Unless I have a charade or dog and pony show, or act or mask to put on, to this
very date, I’ve never had a woman approach me just to be nice and hint to me
that she’s interested in getting to know me personally. I’ve never been
aggressive or lowered myself to the level of lying to entrap and deceptively
lure the opposite sex, simply because of loneliness and desperation. (Hence,
I’m still single and don’t regret it.)
Our horrible culture
sends mixed messages, and has for years regarding our roles, both male and
female, and the social ritualistic nature, which has become tarnished and
clouded with apprehensiveness and indecisiveness regarding the haphazard
introductory social skills when meeting someone of the opposite sex.
The break down of
masculine roles and norms has eroded the male into feminized males without
spines. Women know they have power, and they show it when competing and playing
the dating and courting realm. It’s all about power and control when playing
the market and participating in the game. Ever notice the onslaught of popular
top forty music lyrics? Hmmmm, guess how many continuous songs are sang about
females having domination and power over their male counterparts, even in the
introductory level in the poetry of the music.
No doubt WU, I
eventually overcame the obstacle of datelessness a long time ago, simply by
leaving our nations borders.
The
To this date, I, by
myself, while often setting at a social bar drinking will explain this
phenomenon to my fellow male patrons besides me, and still today, they don’t
believe me, or think that it’s possible to be happy and meet a woman from
another culture who actually likes you, simply because you’re an American guy.
They’re so brainwashed and pessimistic, all because they’ve given up hope and
settled; settled for taking no for answer and being turned down, like most
modern day males.
Women from other
cultures have always told me this, “American act like and present themselves
with a confidence all because they have a since of entitlement and are spoiled
with the men who cave in and become submissive. American men are in demand
everywhere else in the world, except
Peace Wu- You Rock!”
“Winston -
I came across your website while searching online for people who had made
observations similar to mine.
I am a former American expat who has had to return to
Your description of sex life is especially accurate. In the states, I have
sexual interactions at a much slower pace, and sometimes go long periods with
no success at all. Furthermore, when I do "score," as Americans call
it, it tends to be with much less attractive women than I had grown used to in
You are also exactly right in describing how attractive women in
“Winston
yup -- these guys are right on the money. I
flew to
I go to a French language school and take a
class....I make 20 new friends overnight....I meet my future wife...I get
married and now 2yrs later...im STILL HAPPY!
I dont want to bunch all American girls into one big
lump....BUT -- the majority of them due to culture or something act really
snotty and stupid - like we’re not GOOD ENOUGH for them....and to be honest and
not toot my horn - i was voted Prom King in highschool...so Id hope to think
that Im not THAT ugly at least...but i swear i went 12yrs in the bay area - and
rarely found a girl who even batted an eye....and quite frankly i started to
lower my own standards lower and lower....and for what? The moment i
traveled anywhere else - i found girls that would SINK any american girl
that ignored me...now i have a wife that turns heads left and right - but she
is staring right into my eyes with love.
Real love!
I think
Good luck man”
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=118
“I believe
in Wu. Wu was right about the Polish girls and them being really friendly and
giggling and blushing. Wu was right about being able to go over to the girls'
tables and immediately go and sit with them. Wu was right about the society
being more open in
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=118
“I've had a bunch of
other people validate what Wu says in general about European Culture. The last
guy I talked with posted that message about
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=149
“...I was
in a high school in
In the
When I
went to the
So. I did
not change but instead, I went from one country to another. Results were
completely different and girls responded differently to me depending on the
country.
I have found a better
social/romantic life in the
(Comments on my Female
Encounters film on YouTube)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFYvCYZ3ktw
“Dude it's so
true. Women are scumbags, and the men are douchebags here. I don't speak for
everyone, but I am talking about the majority. Ever since I got back from
places like
“i agree
with wu, and i'm on the flipside of things- i'm a woman! after being dateless
(yes, even in college, save one date) and going to
“I totally
agree with Wwu. I went to
“well, i
really do have to admit you're right :) though we have a fair share of stupid
women here too lol (im belgian btw, women are fairly loose here) (sorry if i
misspell anything :p)”
See Also:
Letters from Expats who
are Happier Abroad
For inspiration, see this incredible
transformative story in the Philippines, written by my Expat Advisor,
which inspired me to go there!
Thank you for previewing the Happier Abroad Ebook. Get the FULL version now for only a $15 donation by PayPal.
Comes with Two FREE bonus gifts:
1) Expatriate
Lessons and Insights Ebook – By
Ladislav, my Expat Advisor who is “The
Obi Wan Kenobi of Expatriate Life”. Contains hundreds of
pages of multi-national
insights, comparisons, knowledge, wisdom, lessons and advice on World
Living, Dating and Cultural Understanding. It is unrivaled in scope and
depth. Click here
to sample Ladislav’s writings in his Blog.
2) My Travel and
Dating Guide To
Previous Page Back to Table of Contents Next Page