Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hey, Guys!

It's very cool to hang with other like-minded men. Seven years ago I started dating in Brazil, then Costa Rica and finally decided I wanted to marry one and found mine in Ukraine.

After my success and that of many of the guys I became friends with I ended up writing a book, then it all took off. Cable TV show, interviews, consulting.

I have a real job as owner of a leasing company, but my heart is here. I love seeing guys have their eyes opened as they travel abroad and then find AMAZING women who adore them and love them so deeply.

I'm a supporter of the founders of this site and want to see their success continued. I remember seeing Winston's Russian YouTube video series a while ago. Amazing stuff!

I'm here to learn more from you all and help wherever I can.

This is a small circle of awesome men. So glad to be here.

Mark
http://www.InternationalDatingForMen.com

Welcome to the forum! It's good to hear you traveled to various countries and were able to meet some wonderful women. More men in America need to do this!

Mark, what city is your wife from?

She is definitely good looking and I am happy for both of you. But.... did your wife read comparison of life in the USA and other countries?
http://www.happierabroad.com/comparison.htm
When did you bring her to the States? I understand you guys live in California, which is supposed to be the best state in the US, but is your wife really happy living in this country of burgers and selfishness?

I understand that you are running a business and your wife wanted a decent guy, but does she understand that her child (if that's her child in the video) will not actually be living a good life in the USA? He will be lonely, eating food filled with hormones and GMO's and will be forced into fake American society? Are you making plans to live or move abroad? I truly hope you let her read my comments or this website because I moved from Ukraine many years ago as well and seeing what I had escaped (high school in the USA) made me happiest person in the world and also grateful to graduate from high school in Ukraine in complete freedom of mind, soul and needless to say - beautiful girls all around in school and city.

Welcome Mark!

Your wife is very beautiful and elegant. Do you get stares of wonder from people when you two go out?

I love it when people stare at me with a hot girl wondering "Why is she with him? What does he have?" Even other women and waitresses give you more smiles and attention when you are with an attractive female.

It's good that your wife is cooperative in making those videos. Most of my girlfriends are too camera shy.

You said you were on Cable TV. Are there any clips of your interviews on YouTube?

Btw, what do your family and relatives think of you bringing a Ukrainian wife back? Do they humor you with polite faces but deep down you can sense they frown on it? You can sense when someone genuinely approves vs. when they are just humoring you politely but deep down feel otherwise. I hate how American families do that. Very few people are truly open minded and appreciate diversity.

have2fly, I don't get why CA is considered the best state. What does it have? The only thing I see is good weather year round. But nothing else. Most of the state is barren with no scenery. Cost of living is too high. People get angry easily. Etc.

When I moved to WA I noticed that people did not lose their tempers quickly like they did in CA. Perhaps cooler temperature and greener environments do not make you as angsty?

Also, the people renting our house in Washington say that even though their son is the only Chinese kid in his elementary school, he is treated well by the other kids there, and is not bullied or persecuted in any way. So my mom wonders why I was treated terrible in my school back in the 80's in CA, yet this kid is not in WA. Perhaps WA school kids do not bully or persecute nerds as much as they do in CA?

Maybe it depends on where you live in the states?

Winston and have2fly;

Thanks for all of those great comments and questions.

Regarding the TV show, the second video clip I posted above is from the Cable TV show called "Secret Lives of Women" on the WeTV network. The show followed us, the founders of A Foreign Affair, and two young women from Odessa Ukraine hoping to meet a foreign man. You can watch the entire show at this YouTube channel link starting with the first of five segments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V93dG8_Ma4. To answer the other questions, the boy in the video is my son from a previous marriage.

I love walking the streets with my wife. She is beautiful, but she's the one who says she picked me. Can you even imagine how good it feels that no matter where I go I have the hottest woman in the room on my arm?

There are so many cool aspects to our story. Yes, she completely understands the American culture. Her first adjustment was to the "Fake" happiness. Ukrainians are very authentic, as you know, have2fly. She also was shocked at the attitudes of women here and how sloppy they dress and how fat they are. But, from her perspective, it just makes it easier for her to look good by contrast. She is proud of me and deeply loyal.

It's funny that you asked what my friends and family thought. Of course I had friends who thought I was nuts. I have older kids in their early 20's. They just asked that I pick someone older than them - oops. Sorry kids. I made sure everyone in my circle got to spend time with her once I got her here and EVERYONE's opinions changed. They are awe-struck at how giving and gracious she is. It's as if they've never seen a person who considers other's needs before their own. The guys are all dying because their women don't look this good.

Yes, it sucks to be me. hahaha

Mark I’m doing two postings to you. This is posting is my opinion of your first interview which I was disappointed in. The second posting is for the second interview which I thought was very good!
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This was an Email that I sent to Winston & Steve after listening to your first interview:
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Winston and Steve,
I enjoyed the first part of Mark's interview about Brazil and looking overseas. After that I realized this was just a marketing interview for his franchised version of AFA site. I went with AFA several times to Ukraine from in 2004 - 2007. In fact I think I was living in Ukraine when Winston was living in Russia his last time. I believe 100% in finding love overseas, but I believe presenting a one sided marketing interview (or maybe a book too) is not up to your high honorable standards Winston. Winston knows the reason I first became friends with him back in 2002 is that he was honest and told things the way they were, both good and bad.

I have a lot of respect for AFA too, but it is not as easy as Mark was describing. In 2004 when I first went to Kiev it was great, I had more young great looking girls than I could schedule dates with. When I returned in Dec. 2005, Kiev had turned into a big zero and the socials were not producing. Many of the cities in the Ukraine were played out, they had seen so many marriage tours come through, that it became away for girls to scam guys. I can remember 7 guys getting engaged in Vinnista and celebrating back in the bar in Kiev. These guys were old and unattractive and were engaged to 7 pretty hot girls. They would send them money until they finished processing their fiancée visas, then of course the girls would get cold feet and not come.

I also remember that after a night of socials in Sumy, the next day that the bar at the hotel was full of guys who had no dates the next day. By this time, girls were not eager to go out even for a meal, much less get serious with guys.

The idea that there are 2 girls for every one guy is a total joke. I think Ukraine has <10% more women than men. These girls in Ukraine are not desperate to marry you and come to the US after meeting you for a few days!

What I'd like to hear is an interview that tells you how hard it is to find a good wife in Ukraine or another country. Yes, you can find one, but don't expect to make one AFA trip and bring back anyone good. Winston, always told how hard it was to find the right women, I want to hear the truth.

First I want to tell you I really liked your second interview.
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I think Anna is a beautiful women in both looks and values too. Mark, you are a very lucky man!
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Mark, what is a casino gamer?
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What year did you go on AFA to the Ukraine? How many tours did you go on? How many visits did you make to Ukraine? Where is Anna from? How old were you and Anna when you met? Anna was a runway model?
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Anna, I believe stated that looks are not important. Not True; I don’t believe she would have been interested in you if you were ugly and looked like an old man.
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My opinion after much time in the Ukraine and in other countries is that “A loser is the US is a loser in Ukraine or other international countries too�. They may have get a lot more attention in the Ukraine, but they still were unsuccessful. They typically shot for beautiful girls that used them.
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I agree 100% with you that international dating “Location is the prime factor, just like in real estate�.
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I did not know you could bring your girlfriend to the US on a Student or Tourist Visa? Can you please explain?
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I agree 100% with comments about “Men in America have no balls�. I believe this is because men are worn out in America due to how hard it is to make a good living in the USA now. And the second thing is that men are in denial that things are bad in the dating scene. They believe that complaining that it sucks is considered unmanly, so they would rather lie and say that things are good.
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Mark and Anna, several things that you discussed, I really liked in the interview:
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I liked the description of talking through an interpreter. But there are pitfalls where interpreters and girls just use this as an excuse to both get a free meal.
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Mark’s description of Pre-nuptial was very good.
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Fakeness of people in USA.
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Men raised by single women; maybe that is why things men are so screwed up now and G-d help the next generation of boys, raised feminist who hate men.
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A good woman wants to follow the leadership of a man. I agree and really like this.
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Anna has beautiful ideas about love and money. I love the teamwork. And if she stays with you without money then she is a true beauty.
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I have some questions for Anna:
1. What made you find Mark a desirable husband, even though he had been married twice before and had 4 children and was 25 years older?

2. Anna, you said you were happy not having any children is this correct?

3. What kind of work are you doing now? How do you like working in the USA with all these girls with crazy ideas? What do girls now that you work with say about men? What do you feel is the main difference in the way you think and the way American girls think?
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I found out on my first trip to the Ukraine that when I showed the girls my pictures, the girls had little interest in my big house and sports car, but were very interested in my family. I heard you have such a nice looking happy family. I could tell this is what they were looking for, so I quit showing the house & car pictures and added more family pictures.
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Mark can you please post the “Table Of Contents� to your book because Amazon doesn’t have it.
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Mark, Anna is your best spokesperson for your company. She comes across as very genuine.
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I wish you and Anna the best of luck in the future for a happy life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WorldTraveler wrote:Mark I’m doing two postings to you.

WorldTraveler:

Thanks for your honest feedback. I'll be happy to provide one response to each of your posts.

I'm sorry you had a difficult experience on your AFA tours. You're not the only one. In my second interview I made stated that about half of the guys came back with one or two ladies they felt they had a special connection with - and about half of those started the fiancé visa program. Nearly everyone who starts the fiancé visa program does end up marrying their lady.

On the 'glass half empty' side; 75% of the men who went on a global marriage search through an introduction tour did not find what they were looking for. Nearly half didn't even come back with someone special they connected with.

On the glass half full side: Half did have a magical encounter with a gorgeous woman and one out of every four men who went to find a wife did find one. Nearly everyone who goes says it is a life-changing eye-opening experience.

I got those statistics from my interviews and interaction with John Adams, founder of AFA, and Peter King. Between the two of them they have lead hundreds of tours over the last 15 years. Although the outcomes of any one tour will differ from another, the long-term outcomes have shown this trend. They post the number of engagements they helped introduce on their home page and post the profiles of those girls who are now engaged. Beyond the engagements they become aware of, there are many who end up marrying a girl they met on a tour at a later date and never let them know about it.

All-in-all, if you had 12 guys go through three speed dating events in the US and 12 go on a three-city romance tour - the outcome for the guys who went overseas would kick ass on those who just did the American speed dating events. Half of the romance tour guys would be dating incredibly hot women and half of those would get to wake up to that woman everyday after they married.

I did not mean to come across like I was promoting my site or AFA. I actually gave Winston the rights to sell my book on his site so I'd like to encourage guys to buy it from HappierAbroad.com.

I do, however, have three agendas I will campaign for without apology. 1. I do believe that men's options for women are better overseas and I don't want them to feel trapped here by what they think they have to settle for. 2. I know there are guys who see no reason to ever marry (overseas or otherwise) and I respect that choice for their personal freedom. My message and guidance is for men who do like being married and do want to find a wife. 3. I have dated on my own and with the romance tours. I firmly believe that the romance tours put the odds in favor finding a gorgeous wife above all other possible options for dating overseas. I don't care if a guy goes with AFA, Anastasia, or any other group. I just know that he'll meet and date more marriage-minded candidates through a tour than on his own, or certainly more than just flying over to meet with one lady he's been writing to.

In the end, I think you and I probably have more in common than we differ. I've read your other posts. I know you recognize and appreciate these women for being educated, elegant, and intelligent. You also recognize that it's the stupid guy who is buying women things that is messing it up for others. We also agree that you can't be scammed if you don't open your wallet and you can quickly sort those types out.

The topic of the Male/Female ratio in the dating world was thoroughly addressed in this string on the topic: viewtopic.php?t=8666. Check it out and post some of your thoughts there, if you don't mind.

I hope you can give me some thoughts on the book itself. I do want to see it in the hands of every American male - whether I make a dime on it or not. I believe we're on a mission to set men free and show them better options. As my wife said, "Men have to start saying, "NO" to the women here who are sloppy and demanding." The woman who would say that is the kind you want. Now, on to part two . . .

WorldTraveler wrote:First I want to tell you I really liked your second interview.
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I think Anna is a beautiful women in both looks and values too. Mark, you are a very lucky man!

WorldTraveler:

This is going to be a record long post to answer all of your questions - but I'll give it a shot.

WorldTraveler wrote: Mark, what is a casino gamer?

Thank you for giving me a chance to clarify my job description. When the "Secret Lives of Women" film and interview crew was at my home they asked what I do for a living. I have my own small business leasing computers - and one of my biggest customer groups are the tribal casinos. I'm a small business owner. I own a computer leasing company. How they got, "casino gamer" out of that I will never know.

WorldTraveler wrote:What year did you go on AFA to the Ukraine? How many tours did you go on? How many visits did you make to Ukraine? Where is Anna from? How old were you and Anna when you met? Anna was a runway model?

First, I did not start by going on tours. I started dating for non-committed fun and recreation. I dated mostly in Latin America around 2005 - 41/42 years old. I dated just over 20 ladies from Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, Colombia, and Brazil. Two of them I was serious about taking the realtionship further, but neither were ready to leave their country - and neither was I. That's what lead me to conclude that I was ready for marriage again, that I liked marriage, that I preferred foreign women, and I wanted to pre-screen my dating to foreign women who were also marriage-minded. I met a guy who married his wife 9 years earlier. Her outlook was similar to what you heard from Anna and I was sold. He said he did it on an AFA tour in the late 90's. I met him in August of 2006 and went on a tour to Odessa/Nikolaev/Kherson in December of that same year.

I had a great advantage when I went because I'd done so much internal prep-work and had experience overseas. I knew what I wanted. I first started searching profiles thinking I would be heading to Latin American on a tour, but found myself attracted to Ukraine. I wrote to several ladies and had four dates lined up before I left.

I only went on one tour and met Anna in the second city, Nikolaev, at the social on December 10, 2006. I was 42 - Anna was 18. I spent the rest of the five days with just her and we agreed to start the visa process. I went back for a week in February of 2007. In April I brought my 9 year old son to meet her and we spent two weeks there. I came back for another week in early August and then escorted her back to my home.

Was she really a runway model? I wouldn't make that up. Here are two photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/TV ... directlink and http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/sC ... directlink

WorldTraveler wrote: Anna, I believe stated that looks are not important. Not True; I don’t believe she would have been interested in you if you were ugly and looked like an old man.

Everything is relative. As you know from your own personal experience, the men in Ukraine are in good shape and dress well. The Russian/Ukrainian face is generally handsome. As she said in the interview, she had dated some very handsome younger men from her country. When she said that looks were not that important - consider what she had dated before. At the same time, you are correct that there were men older than me on the tour who did not care how they looked or what they dressed like. They wouldn't have had a chance with my wife.

WorldTraveler wrote: I did not know you could bring your girlfriend to the US on a Student or Tourist Visa? Can you please explain?

On the third day we were together we arranged to have Maria Jones, a visa attorney, on a call to discuss our options. I had my cell phone on speaker at a restaurant table with Anna, me and our translator, Vera. We discussed four options, since three-days did not seem like sufficient time to declare 'intentions to marry'. Maria Jones explained that people from Ukraine can come over as students, as tourists, for work, and fiancé visas. The first three had limitations in terms of how many were issued each year and what times of year the US processed these applications. I don't have time to go through each now, but the bottom line was that each would take about the same amount of time. The fiancé visa had the greatest likelihood of approval. And, if we went with one of the others and decided to get married, it could actually become more complicated and take longer to change the application to fiancé visa.

WorldTraveler wrote: Anna has beautiful ideas about love and money. I love the teamwork. And if she stays with you without money then she is a true beauty.

It is true. My business took a serious dive during the economic downturn. Anna had to go to work during the transition, yet she was the one constantly encouraging me, "Babe, we have each other. Everything works out for the best. Besides, who else has a hot wife like me? Things aren't so bad. We'll be just fine."

I know you had some questions for Anna, but she doesn't engage in these conversations the way I do. I want to help other men. She has what she wanted - a family. In fact, besides the TV show we were on, she's only agreed to be on one other interview with me and that only lasted for 10 minutes.

I can tell you how she's answered these thing before. She has repeatedly talked about how I walked up to the table with her and the other Anna and I was "so cute". By that she meant I was easy-going, fun-loving, and showed an ability to tease and laugh.

The question about us having children between us is still not firmly decided. I told her I was fine with having more if she wanted to have a child. How can you tell a woman so young that she could never have children? I'm okay with it, but we're in no hurry. We've also talked about going back to Ukraine and adopting.

Yes, she interacts with other American women and they drive her crazy, with few exceptions. She sees other American woman as spoiled and self-absorbed. She'll be the first to say that the men are to blame for allowing this behavior. One of the men she works with is on a very short leash with his controlling wife. She sees it as a shame on him.

WorldTraveler wrote: Mark can you please post the “Table Of Contents� to your book because Amazon doesn’t have it.

I believe it is available on the Amazon page for the paperback version if you click on the "Look Inside" feature.


TABLE OF CONTENTS


INTRODUCTION

Part I: Why Date Internationally? 6

CHAPTER 1—Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places 12

CHAPTER 2—What Are You Really Looking For in a Woman? 31

CHAPTER 3—The Dream is Alive – But is it Real? 38

CHAPTER 4—Masculinity and Femininity 49

CHAPTER 5—Cultural Differences for Men and Women 59


Part II: The Method

CHAPTER 6—Making Your Move 73

CHAPTER 7—The Quest to Find Your Queen 91

CHAPTER 8—Date, Date, Date and Then Date Some More! 113

CHAPTER 9—I Think I’ve Found Her! Now What? 122

CHAPTER 10—Getting Over the Goal Line 133

CHAPTER 11—The 90 Days of Love 143

CHAPTER 12—Happily Ever After 150

About the Author 159
Index 160

There's an hour of my life invested in responding. I wouldn't do it if I didn't think it would make a difference for some of the men who will read it. I am motivated because I continue to see positive results every time we engage in these conversations.

I hope my answers were helpful.

I did a European Connections tour in Kiev many years ago, and don’t recommend tours. First of all, there are a lot of women there, but you can’t really take advantage of the situation, since you can only meet a small fraction of the women present. And you don’t have any idea the ones that would be appropriate for you or that meet your criteria. For example, if you are looking for a woman without children, you still could spend a whole afternoon being polite to women with children, and only meet one woman without children. The women I met there were mostly interested in having men take them out to fancy restaurants and discos (which were just starting out in Kiev at that time). If you really want to meet a Ukranian woman, it would be better to become an English teacher, and move there so that you have the opportunity to meet normal women without agendas. The agencies are selecting the women you don’t want to meet. I have no patience for marketing crap and I have grown to hate the word “exotic�. Ukrainians don’t consider their women exotic. Colombians don’t consider their women exotic. I hate marketing hype. I like Larry Elterman’s book because he gives the bad with the good, so a man is prepared to face the difficulties. There is no paradise except in marketing literature and the movies.

There's something I don't get about a tour. What if only a few of the women there are hot, and several guys all want the same one? How do they decide which one gets to sit with her? That would be an awkward situation. It must happen at some tours, does it not?

There is no question that Mark is genuine. His passion is authentic and true. That is obvious from his voice and interviews. I hope you can all see that.

Btw, regarding tourist visas, I think to get one you have to prove that you have decent financial assets in your own country that will make it unlikely that you will stay in the US and work illegally. For some reason, Mark and Steve didn't bring up this requirement. It probably works the same in the Ukraine I imagine.

Check out this documentary where Mark and his wife Anna are interviewed. Here is a clip from it. Their story starts in the second half of it.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=4V93dG8_Ma4[/youtube]

Then it continues here again:



And ends in Part 5:

Winston wrote:There's something I don't get about a tour. What if only a few of the women there are hot, and several guys all want the same one? How do they decide which one gets to sit with her? That would be an awkward situation. It must happen at some tours, does it not?

There isn’t that much organization, so you make it up as you go along. The guy who is more aggressive will get her first. The events have many more women then men, and most of the women stand around talking to each other. Basically, men are just visually choosing the women who look the best to them, and have no idea whether they meet their criteria. It’s really a waste of time and a horrible way to meet women. I kept in contact with one guy who went to an event in Russia – he found the woman that met his looks criteria – sent her $5000 to come to America, and never heard from her again. I kept in contact with a few men and didn’t hear any happy endings. The tours just stroke the egos of men by giving them the illusion of desirability. Maybe a few get lucky and find a good woman, but the odds are against the average man. The best way to meet a woman is in a natural situation, but then you have to move to the country to do that.

Mark,
Thank you for addressing all my questions. I think you are a true gentleman. I wish we would have been on a trip over there together, I’m sure we would have been friends and had a lot of fun. Yes, I agree with you that you can make good friends on those trips. I also agree a tour is the best way to go over to meet the most girls in the shortest amount of time. I went on 4 organized trips to Ukraine. Enjoyed all of them, except my second trip to Kiev, because by this time girls didn’t seem interested in meeting, marrying, or even dating guys.
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I had some more questions:

1. How did you get selected to be on the We – Mail Order brides special?

2. Was that Anna’s first social or had she been to others?

3. Did you date other girls in the 3 cities? Any other good prospects?

4. Who were the tour guides for your trip?

5. Are things any different now in the Ukraine since the Hryvnia has been devaluated to about 7.5 / 1 USD?
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I’m debating whether to share the details my experiences on Winston’s site for his readers, because I’m a more private person. Like I said I did 4 trips between 2004-2007. I would rate them like this based on a 1-10 scale.
Trip 1 – 10+
Trip 2 – 3
Trip 3 – 8+
Trip 4 – 7-
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Trip 1, I had more beautiful girls than I could take out in the number of days I was there. I had several girl friends while there, but all disappeared when I went back to the US. Trip 2, I had a hard time even getting enough girls to fill up a week of dates and the quality was lower than Trip 1. Trip 3, I met more girls than I could date. It produced my GF which we lived together for 7 months until we broke up. Trip 4 produced a girl that said she wanted to be my GF/wife and come to the USA. She turned out to be a total scam artist, who tried to extort $2000 from me. I gave her nothing and we parted. Within 10 months I found out she was married and pregnant to a different guy.

WINSTON, it may be a good idea to move all these posts over to the Russia European section of your site.