Happier Abroad Debate on Reddit

[abcdavid01]

The_Adventurer,'

loneyakuaza guy. I remember some of his post but I don't remember him being an asian militant .

What? Anyone know where Loneyakuza is? It'd be cool to ask him some questions and catch up.

[Yohan]

..... below average white guy will always do better than an above average Asian guy in the Anglosphere - if a white guy isn't getting dates it is one of three things - they are overweight/badly dressed/jobless

Is it so? How do you know? I am a 100% white man and I don't think so.
I am not overweight, not badly dressed and was never even one day jobless in my life, but I did not 'always better' than 'the Asian guy' even not while still in Europe.

It's a big difference of course about which 'Asian guy' we are talking about it. Asian guys living outside of Asia are often financially fairly good off and often bring their girls in from China and similar countries. Many of them are not even interested in dating a white women and why should they?

In my case, as a white man who spent most time of his life in Asian countries, I never had any race-problem with Asian men, just the opposite, they introduced even Asian women to me who might be suitable for marriage. I am often the only 'white man' next to Japanese, Filipinos, Malay-Chinese and other Asians and never had a race-problem. Others, for example in our office and not only family members next to me are 50/50 white/Asians and have no race problems.

They will never ever admit it - but white women are extremely racist when it comes to dating -

Not sure either if this is true, what counts for many women (white or any other race too of course), is the wallet of the man, not his race, not his looks.
White women are extremely picky, but Asian women are catching up, there are many complaints about greedy Asian women too.

White men are far less racist than white women and will actually date women of all colours, of course, white women is the preference for the main
But if Asian men were getting the opportunities they deserved with white women - there would be no problem with who Asian women date.

This is true, white men in general are not complicated about race - however it is wrong to criticize them for that - and this is what many of these Asian American men are doing. ('White men stealing our women' and similar idiotic slogans).

Why do you complain about the 'white' man? What is he doing wrong? I may also ask, what did I do wrong? I never made it up to a relationship with a 'white woman' either.

Better complain about the 'white' woman - or about the Asian woman if they reject Asian men. There is nothing what I as a white man can do about it.

[Yohan]

It's not limited to USA. It's all over the Anglosphere, meaning UK, Australia, Canada, etc. That you only think it's constrained to the USA shows how little you actually know.

All this racist BS is an Anglosphere thing, but it is now worst in USA after the fall of South African apartheid.
Race discrimination is somewhat an unpleasant leftover of the British Empire.

Yes, other Anglosphere countries have some racist problems too, like Australia, but by far you cannot compare that with USA.

I was working in Tokyo over many years with people from Africa, Arabs and blacks, but only with those from former French colonies. Sometimes the talk of race-discrimination was coming up and everybody was laughing and assured me, that in all French colonies such a ridiculous race-approach never existed.

Everybody told me the same, regardless if it was a black rich businessman living in Belgium or a housemaid from Central Africa. Regardless if the person was from Gabon, Cameroon, Madagascar or Burkina Faso. - Racist BS, often violent, you find now mainly in USA, between black and white in some areas, but for many others, not Anglosphere related, such a situation never even existed in their life.

To blame for that 'ALL white men' - this is nonsense. You might blame maybe the US legal system, which had anyway a black president for 8 years and he did nothing about it, or blame the immigration policy of Asian countries which will only very rerluctantly allow Asian Americans to relocate to their parents country of origin, but you cannot blame just 'ALL white men everywhere worldwide' for your situation.

[yick]

Is it so? How do you know? I am a 100% white man and I don't think so.

I am from the UK and know loads of white men who are dating, friends, members of my family, acquaintances - most white men in the UK get dates, a lot of men in the UK aren't picky though, they will date single mums, women over a certain age, fat women, tatooed women etc - just as well, there are certainly plenty of them about.

If you are after a harem of women with above average looks and have some kind of standard then it gets more difficult - of course.

I am not overweight, not badly dressed and was never even one day jobless in my life, but I did not 'always better' than 'the Asian guy' even not while still in Europe.

Yes, but if I am right, you lived in Austria 40 years ago, I have no idea how it was in Vienna back in 1975 but I assure you it won't be the same as modern day UK.

It's a big difference of course about which 'Asian guy' we are talking about it. Asian guys living outside of Asia are often financially fairly good off and often bring their girls in from China and similar countries. Many of them are not even interested in dating a white women and why should they?

Well indeed, why should they? But just let's imagine they want a white woman then they are going to find their pickings go down a great deal, I know women who have lived in Asia and speak Asian languages have no interest in dating local men - it isn't just me and my views, you can find many articles from expat women moaning about their 'lonlieness' and why expat me and their 'yellow fever' is wrong.

In my case, as a white man who spent most time of his life in Asian countries, I never had any race-problem with Asian men, just the opposite, they introduced even Asian women to me who might be suitable for marriage. I am often the only 'white man' next to Japanese, Filipinos, Malay-Chinese and other Asians and never had a race-problem. Others, for example in our office and not only family members next to me are 50/50 white/Asians and have no race problems.

Which is great and I am not denying your experiences but you have no idea what it is like to live in a Anglosphere country because you have never lived in one, and you certainly don't know as well I do what a lot of them are like - most British women (and it is the same for American and Australian women)are very particular about who they date and most Asian men (and a lot of black and Indian men) don't stand a chance with a below average white woman. They would have to be in the top 10% of looks to even stand a chance with an average white woman.

Not sure either if this is true, what counts for many women (white or any other race too of course), is the wallet of the man, not his race, not his looks.
White women are extremely picky, but Asian women are catching up, there are many complaints about greedy Asian women too.

It is about the race - if you are white - you stand a better chance with a white woman, of course, it is about a full package, a man with money, career, options - they are more desireable - how many brain surgeons are looking for love on 'match.com'. A deadbeat white man who is struggling is going to struggle but he will find someone of his level though, that I do see all the time - an above average black man would still be turned down by a lot of these women.

I am a mixed race man living in the UK - I know how it is, Yohan.

This is true, white men in general are not complicated about race - however it is wrong to criticize them for that

No criticism was made in that statement.

Why do you complain about the 'white' man?

I am not doing.

What is he doing wrong?

Some white men need to take stock of themselves and improve, get into shape, try and find a job in some cases, learn about grooming, learn social skills. It isn't any use blaming women for the shortcomings for some men. Some men actually need to sort themselves out and then they will find their desirability increase.

In white countries (especially in the Anglosphere), white men are the top of the dating tree, I know plenty of below average looking men who have active love lives, I know men who have slept with 200 or so women - most of these women you wouldn't sneeze on, never mind have sex with, but it is all about realistic options and what you (plural) bring to the table.

Someone like Matt Hanson is six months worth of running away from finding a decent looking girlfriend in America. A white man shouldn't struggle in finding a girlfriend in America - he might have to tone down his high standards but we can't all date the prom queen.

what did I do wrong?

I don't know, I don't know you.

I never made it up to a relationship with a 'white woman' either.

Well, we have something in common then.

However, most of my friends, white members of my family, accquaintances are in relationships with white women, if you are stating that white men are struggling to find relationships with white women - it isn't true, they might not be quality but then these men have low standards - but they are happy in the main - so who is to criticize their choices.

Better complain about the 'white' woman

I have

Have you not read the above post? Here - let me just re-iterate it again.

'Asian American men are never going to share the top podium with white men, never never never - especially not with dating and that is because of the racist nature of white women - even the ones who claim to 'like' Asian men will use handsome movie stars and pop stars as their examples - not above average blokes, the top 1% of Asian manhood, it would be like some Asian fella going 'I like white women - look at Angelina Jolie!' it is ridiculous that the top 1% of Asian men in looks has to be brought out to compete with above average white men.

If I was Asian I would be in Asia. That is the place where you going to have something like a normal dating life, and yes, America is the problem - not Asian men.'

[Winston]

So these guys are angry Asians? Why dont they go abroad then instead of staying in america?

Can some of you guys here with reddit accounts tell those hapa guys that not all HA members are white. Its pretty much a mixed group here with many Asians and Blacks too. So this site is for Asian American men too, such as them. We have solutions for them. So why dont they support us?

Is reddit a forum? What is it? How do you get publicity in there?

[abcdavid01]

So these guys are angry Asians? Why dont they go abroad then instead of staying in america?

Can some of you guys here with reddit accounts tell those hapa guys that not all HA members are white. Its pretty much a mixed group here with many Asians and Blacks too. So this site is for Asian American men too, such as them. We have solutions for them. So why dont they support us?

Is reddit a forum? What is it? How do you get publicity in there?

Well it's like a forum where people can make their own boards. If you were to make a reddit one, the link would be reddit.com/r/happierabroad. Reddit's one of the top ten visited websites on the internet, but you might not want to have another board on reddit competing with this one.

Hapas refers to mixed Asian. It means half White, half Asian people like myself usually. They could also be half Black I suppose, but the important part is half Asian.

The hapa board on reddit is about hapas who have problems in America. They feel like they're kind of isolated from both White and Asian communities in America. An example of a hapa is Elliot Rodger, the guy who went on a killing spree in California because he couldn't get a girlfriend. Elliot had a White dad and Chinese mother, so he was a hapa. A lot of hapas complain that there are a lot more White male and Asian female relationships than the other way around. It's like Asian men get screwed over because Asian women want to date White guys more than their own race.

[yick]

Elliot Rodger is an extreme case, this was a young man with severe (untreated?) mental health issues who hadn't had the luxury of decent parental guidance and his inner narrative was allowed to run away with him in his mind.

He had everything going for him in today's America, he was good looking, rich, socially connected but he was mentally ill - which was what lead to his death and the sad death of the people he murdered.

As a mixed race man in the UK - I couldn't get a girlfriend either but it never entered my mind to go on a murder spree - because I wasn't mentally ill.

The problem is not that white men will date Asian women, your problem is white women won't (in the main) date Asian men.

But the great news is Asian men don't have to get 'screwed over' if Elliot Rodger had just gone to China (after getting treatment for his mental health issues) - he would have got some BEAUTIFUL Chinese girlfriends - better and more accessible than ANY white guy was capable of getting - even in the more exclusive parts of Shanghai and Beijing - a good looking hapa with connections and wealth would have his pick.

The game is set up in the west and the rules are not going to change for you or for us.

Don't fight it - move away and find your happiness, life is far too short.

[abcdavid01]

Yes, Elliot Rodger was an extreme case, but he's seen as a reflection of what the hapa community identifies as societal problems. Elliot Rodger's mental illness wasn't just some genetic fluke. He was driven mad because he was mixed race and had severe identity issues, no way to resolve them, and parents who didn't address the issue. So it didn't matter how materially successful he was because he never resolved his identity issues as a mixed race person. That drove him mad. There are many more examples of this pattern, but Elliot is just the most infamous.

https://halfasian.org/

We can see from this website that Elliot Rodger was not just a lone crazy, but part of a toxic pattern repeated in many hapa families.

Regarding White men dating Asians and White women not, I really think all sides have a problem here. Asian men basically get screwed over by all parties - White men, Asian women and White women. They're all contributors to this problem. The hapa movement focuses a lot on anti-Asian racism in society and media.

But you're right that Elliot would have been better off in China. I agree completely.

[yick]

Yes, Elliot Rodger was an extreme case, but he's seen as a reflection of what the hapa community identifies as societal problems. Elliot Rodger's mental illness wasn't just some genetic fluke. He was driven mad because he was mixed race and had severe identity issues, no way to resolve them, and parents who didn't address the issue.

David,

I grew up mixed race in a tough, all white, working class town in England - far tougher than Beverly Hills or whichever part of West LA Elliot Rodger was brought up in - being mixed race doesn't bring on mental illness - it is a rubbish claim and it is not true.

His lack of parental guidance and care might have been a problem and brought on his mental illness, but that is a problem for kids of all colours.

So it didn't matter how materially successful he was because he never resolved his identity issues as a mixed race person. That drove him mad. There are many more examples of this pattern, but Elliot is just the most infamous.

Nonsense, rubbish and crap - I am mixed race too, I didn't get to date loads of women either, I grew up poor in a violent town ravaged by a drugs problem, I am not mentally ill nor was I driven mad - was it hard growing up? Yes it was, but the thing - Elliot Rodger had other pressing concerns than his racial DNA.

He wanted a supermodel girlfriend (his words) he wanted to be fabulously wealthy so he could get more supermodel girlfriends - now that kind of megalomania and lack of self awareness has nothing to do with him being mixed race. Because most of us would be suffering from those ailments.

Regarding White men dating Asians and White women not, I really think all sides have a problem here. Asian men basically get screwed over by all parties - White men, Asian women and White women. They're all contributors to this problem. The hapa movement focuses a lot on anti-Asian racism in society and media.

I don't get why it is the white mans problem and the Asian womans problem - they are exercising a choice, as are the white women I suppose - what can you do about it?

I live in China, most Chinese women are not interested in me - some are though, some are very beautiful so that is who I concentrate on.

I am not a loser, I am over six feet tall, have broad shoulders, am fit and strong, have a masters degree - why shouldn't I pick a Chinese woman for a lifetime partner if there are some of them interested in the job?

That isn't to say I am not interested and sympathetic to issues regarding Asian men - because one day, I probably am going to have to sit down to talk to my half Chinese son and tell him what his options are for being happy - I had to go through that and work it out for myself, my dad was a white guy and though sympathetic and wanted to help - he didn't really have the answers whereas I will - if and when the time comes.

[abcdavid01]

No, mixed race doesn't mean mental illness. Being unable to form an identity as a child does though. It's a problem that not only mixed race kids suffer, but mixed kids are particularly susceptible. I'm glad you were able to avoid that problem. I was too in the end, though it took a long time and I had no help from my parents.

[cdnFA]

They will never ever admit it - but white women are extremely racist when it comes to dating - where they are most candid are when they come out to Asia to live, they just flat out admit that no Asian guy stands a chance, even if it means they go without a date for years, why? There is never a reason that comes out that justifies it. It is just that they have an inbuilt racism that they are not going to deviate from.

This contradicts everything and I do mean everything I've read about white chicks dating in Asia.

The ones who actually do choose to live in Asia tend to be very open to dating locals, the same thing that draws them to the country will draw them to the people.
Some figure it out and actually date locals.
Many many others complain that they can't find any local to date. Usually because the guys are too intimidated, or their preferences are... to be honest more for the child like docile tiny women and the western girls can't provide that.
When they talk of dating whites, it often comes across more as a second choice which is very difficult to do because too many expats are freaks and they almost always have the yellow fever.

Granted white chicks who live in Asia would have different attitudes from those who stay at home.

[yick]

This contradicts everything and I do mean everything I've read about white chicks dating in Asia.

You haven't read hard enough, there are TONS of blogs on this subject. About 'how hard' it is for western women to date in Asia because they won't go local.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jocelyn-e ... 27240.html
(The first link I pulled when I typed in the search engine western women in asia and dating)

Here is another one

http://www.transitionsabroad.com/listin ... nges.shtml

It might be slightly different and better in Japan than it is in China, but from my experience, and you can ask anyone here who is an expat in Asia, it is a minority of western women who'll date local - the vast majority won't - they hope to find a western expat but the vast vast vast majority of western male expats date local - if they arrive with no preference for Asian women then it doesn't stay that way for long.

The ones who actually do choose to live in Asia tend to be very open to dating locals,

Not true - in the main.

the same thing that draws them to the country will draw them to the people.

So you think, but not true.

Some figure it out and actually date locals.

A few do, and the ones who might do are Swedes, Finns, Germans and Russians - the amount of white women from The States, Australia or the UK who date local Asian men - very very few.

Many many others complain that they can't find any local to date. Usually because the guys are too intimidated, or their preferences are... to be honest more for the child like docile tiny women and the western girls can't provide that.

Maybe - in some cases, but when I have asked western white women why - they always state that they don't like them - all 850 million of them (because I am in China)

When they talk of dating whites, it often comes across more as a second choice which is very difficult to do because too many expats are freaks and they almost always have the yellow fever.

Not true at all, most expat women will always choose a white man over a local, what does happen is that a male expat who the expat female wouldn't look at twice back home gets more attractive and stands more of a chance but the local man stands NO CHANCE WHATOSOEVER with the majority of western women. White expat men luck out with both sets of women, however, most expat men are only interested in local women, there are a few who will date exclusively expats but... they're around the same percentage as expat women who will date Asian men.

Granted white chicks who live in Asia would have different attitudes from those who stay at home.

Yes, but not when it comes to dating and having sex, ask anyone here - I am not saying it never happens, but the vast majority of western women won't.

[yick]

No, mixed race doesn't mean mental illness. Being unable to form an identity as a child does though. It's a problem that not only mixed race kids suffer, but mixed kids are particularly susceptible. I'm glad you were able to avoid that problem. I was too in the end, though it took a long time and I had no help from my parents.

Thanks David, I am glad you managed to get yourself sorted out too.

[Winston]

Hapas refers to mixed Asian. It means half White, half Asian people like myself usually. They could also be half Black I suppose, but the important part is half Asian.

The hapa board on reddit is about hapas who have problems in America. They feel like they're kind of isolated from both White and Asian communities in America. An example of a hapa is Elliot Rodger, the guy who went on a killing spree in California because he couldn't get a girlfriend. Elliot had a White dad and Chinese mother, so he was a hapa. A lot of hapas complain that there are a lot more White male and Asian female relationships than the other way around. It's like Asian men get screwed over because Asian women want to date White guys more than their own race.

So if they are mixed kids themselves, then why are they against white male/asian female couples having offsprings that are mixed kids too? Do they want their own kind to go extinct? lol. Wouldn't it benefit them to have more of them so they can have more of a group identity?

[MrMan]

Maybe Hapas in the US get lumped in with Asian men while the Hapa girls are exotic half Asian girls.

In Hawaii, Hapa is a pretty bit part of the population, and you'll see Asian looking guys with a little bit whiter looking girls. I think everyone is a minority there, but 'Hapa' may be the biggest minority, especially if you count Polynesian mixes as Hapa. I'm not sure if they do that.