Social Isolation and the USA?

[sushiman]

It seems like after work in the USA, everyone just goes home and hides; orders a pizza and watches a movie.

Here in NE Asia when you get out of the office you can give your buddy a call, no notice, sure he's ready to go drink, flirt with some chicks, have fun.

When I'm back at our US office on business I've got to book drinks a week in advance with my old friends. If you just say "hey let's go grab a drink after work" people look at you like you're crazy. No, never do anything spontaneous and fun!!! And besides where would you go? Nothing fun to do there. It's not like they have room salons in the states...

[Winston]

Winston, with all your experience, I'd like to ask what is the best way to deal with the isolation and depressing social environment?

1. Find some hobbies.
2. Talk on the phone or skype with your friends.
3. Meet foreign women on dating sites and then talk to them on skype or the phone.
4. Go out and connect with nature to ground your mind and spirit.
5. Practice meditation and watch your thoughts so you won't be too attached to them.
6. Study history and philosophy to deepen your mind and cultivate a rich inner life.
7. Watch documentaries on YouTube and History Channel programs about subjects that you're interested in.
8. Or just go abroad of course.

Hope that helps.

Another thing you can do is to watch the movie "The Sound of Music". I just watched it again and it was VERY uplifting and full of life.

Maybe this will cheer you up. Here is Annie singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow". It's a very uplifting song. lol

[mguy]

Just an update guys. I am no longer feeling the social isolation as per my repatriation. What has it done?

-My well-being has increased.
-I am better able to focus on my work.

I remember going home from my little northeastern nook and just staring at the ceiling after a long days work. Now I have people texting me and inviting me over.. I actually decline most of these as I want to stay focused.

I still feel like an outsider though. The great thing about living in America is that you become efficient at becoming social. So i've utilized the same things like going to meetups, CS, groups, and stuff.

[mguy]

Winston, with all your experience, I'd like to ask what is the best way to deal with the isolation and depressing social environment?

1. Find some hobbies.
2. Talk on the phone or skype with your friends.
3. Meet foreign women on dating sites and then talk to them on skype or the phone.
4. Go out and connect with nature to ground your mind and spirit.
5. Practice meditation and watch your thoughts so you won't be too attached to them.
6. Study history and philosophy to deepen your mind and cultivate a rich inner life.
7. Watch documentaries on YouTube and History Channel programs about subjects that you're interested in.
8. Or just go abroad of course.

Hope that helps.

Another thing you can do is to watch the movie "The Sound of Music". I just watched it again and it was VERY uplifting and full of life.

Maybe this will cheer you up. Here is Annie singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow". It's a very uplifting song. lol

I was the artful dodger in our play back in California.

[Winston]

Some great graphics I found on Google Images that depict social isolation that you can use on your blog if you want to.

[Winston]

Check out this Coalition to End Social Isolation in America. What are their solutions exactly? Nothing? lol

https://www.endsocialisolation.org

I sent them this email through their contact form.

Hi there, I have a unique but effective solution to social isolation that no one in America dares to talk about. See my website at www.happierabroad.com and let me know what you think. Can you mention me in your newsletter and my site? If so I will mention you on my newsletter too. Is that good?

Thanks,
Winston
Founder of Happier Abroad movement

[Yohan]

Check out this Coalition to End Social Isolation in America. What are their solutions exactly? Nothing? lol
https://www.endsocialisolation.org

A totally useless website created by a few totally useless, but politically active people.

https://www.endsocialisolation.org/about-us

Likely created for the reason to receive some government money for their 'valuable contributions'....

Ridiculous, this page shows the picture of a 'lonely young woman' - despite most lonely people are men of course.

----------

Such websites are many, created to fool, shame and brainwash mainly men.

For example:

https://goodmenproject.com

https://goodmenproject.com/premium

They even want money from you if you dare to write a comment...

Their Youtube Channel is also good for nothing.

[yick]

The day you realise happiness and a sense of contentment comes from within - then you realise 'loneliness' is a fallacy because you're wanting something that other people can't give you - which is a sense of fulfillment via their company - which they can take away at any time - and then what? They control your happiness and sense of contentment? f**k that!

Chuck Bukowski talked about this, or rather he wrote a poem... the difference between loneliness and isolation is that if you accept isolation then it is a gift and he is right - it's how you see what is basically the same thing - I like living my life on my own, at school - I didn't want any friends, I wanted to be left alone - I am the same now really, I get the socialisation that I need and I am fine with it.

[Winston]

That's a wise point Yick. Buddhism and Taoism and Zen all teach that too, that if you fully accept and embrace the good and bad in life, including the loneliness of life, your suffering will be drastically reduced, than if you resist it. It's eastern wisdom too. It's called letting go and bending with the wind. It may sound passive but it definitely works to reduce suffering in life substantially.

Also, everything is a double edged sword. If you are isolated, you can get a lot of stuff done then you can if there are others around. There is an advantage to such things. As a Chinese lady in the TV series "Kung Fu" who fell in love with Caine the Shaolin monk said: "To marry is a waste of the soul. To be alone is a waste of the body."

[Neo]

Probably the best thing to do is simply to reject sad thoughts and resist sad feelings. Refuse to indulge in either. Then if the person wishes, think of happier things or happier times or whatever cheers the person up.

People may or may not be a solution. There are some people who are genuinely good people, but they are rare.