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Either way, he's a f***ing dumbass for having a child with an American woman. He wasn't even legally married to her, but still got royally f***ed in child support and child custody court by her, and also hit with a bunch of false accusations and restraining orders. When the f**k are men going to wake the f**k up and start BOYCOTTING AMERICAN WOMEN????????
Full story here:
So I have had a pretty rough year on top of a pretty rough life in general and Im starting to think my career in IT (sys admin stuff obviously) is over with due to it.
For starters.....my credit history isnt that great. A lot of it is medical issues but I do have a gym membership scam that hit my report a while back as well as a cell phone bill from a long time ago as well. On top of that, due to my recent job loss, which Ill get into more below, my car is being repo'd so that will be on there as well.
Now, here is the rough part.
Last year my (ex?)girlfriend had a severe alcoholism relapse. Long story short, I would come home to her drunk as a skunk, belligerent and constantly trying to argue. She was working at the time so it isnt like I could just cut her off financially for that stuff and she was always sneaking it somehow. I came home one day and she was intoxicated and was letting our daughter, who was 3 at the time, watch some my little pony parody where they were getting chainsawed to pieces and I let her know what I thought. This turned into her screaming and yelling at me through a locked door(i had lcoked myself in a bedroom). They next day I come home from work and she is gone with a note saying she is leaving town. She ended up going to her sisters, who lives 4 hours away. She also decided to file an injuncition for protection against domestic violence against me and in it she had literally pages of stuff that was untrue or heavily skewed. Before my day in court, I had sent a very long letter responding to the accusations for which she had no proof of any kind what so ever, and in fact I several video of her being drunk and belligerent, screaming at me, kicking doors, etc. The day of the hearing, i go up to the stand and it turns out the judge didnt even look at what I had sent and when he was up there, he just scanned through her paper work, didnt ask my anything and gave me a 6 month no contact order. The only contact we could have was arranging time sharing with our daughter. Fast foward a few months, he sister gets sick of her and kicks her out and her mother helps her get a 1 bedroom apartment back where in town. I let her take the Washer and dryer and even move it over there but when I did, I had forget the dryer vent. I let her know Ill bring it over as soon as I can. Later that day I bring it over, I knock and she doesnt answer so I call her. she tells me she doesnt feel like getting up and coming to the door so I ask her what she wnts me to do. During this, our daughter is with my playing and running around me. I urn around, get caught up on her and lose my balance. Note that I had the phone in one hand and the vent and tools in the other. I go to brace myself with my foot, it hits the door and it cracks the frame a bit(the door wasnt actually kicked open and you could see the wood rot on the frame as well), she freaks out, calls the cops(I can hear her inside) and tells them Im trying to break in (over a dryer vent? really) . I keep telling her I tripped on our kid but she isnt having it so I freak out and leave. To shorten this up a bit, I end up in jail and the arresting cop puts FELONY CHARGE on the booking. 1 count of contempt of court(breaking the no contact order) and 1 count of criminal mischief. Being as neither one of these were actually felonies, they were recertified as misdemeanors and the public defender was able to get a no contest plea for me with adjudication withheld. The only reason I didnt go to trial is because I couldnt afford a lawyer but made too much to get any more public legal help..or something along those lines.
I ended up losing my job because of this and have been unemployed since. I actually had to move into a cheaper place and when they did a background search it came up as me having a felony for contempt of court for violating the domestic violence injunction so I had to go to the court and get paperwork showing it was recertified as well as the adjudicaiton being withheld.
I have been applying to jobs since and gotten several interviews but obviously have had no luck.
So now when people run my background they are seeing a not so good credit report and a felony involving domestic violence and no one has even asked me about it or my side. I also have not been able to pay my court fees (unemployment doesnt even cover my living costs of rent and food)so my license was suspended.
Is my IT career over?
Am I doomed to working day labor jobs?
Ive been trying to stay as positive as I can but somedays I just want to give up on life. I even try to convince my self our kids will be better off without me.
What do I do?
Would any of you hire me with my credit history and background check?
oh yeah and on top of all that, I have $1500 left in unemployment
I believe the guy.
He can still salvage his life if he can get internet access.
(1) Internet access. Online work. Maintain the bank account at all costs if he still has one.
(2) Pay up child support and court fees. Be aware that there are MULTIPLE databases that must be clear. CSS, Court, Police, etc. Complete all divorce paperwork and court supervision etc. Make sure passport is free and clear.
(3) Travel as a tourist to visa-free countries. No background check. If he wants to stay close to his daughter, Mexico. Otherwise Thailand. Work from there. Enjoy life.
(5) Let his daughter know she can join him as soon as she is of age.
Last edited by Jester on July 6th, 2013, 9:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I went to the link, hoping to post the comments I made above. I found that the guy is already getting some down-to-earth good advice in the comments area. I found it inspirational. Take a look.
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."