Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss and talk about any general topic.
2 posts • Page 1 of 1
The Most Common Move Among Foreign Players
My readership has become increasingly international over the past five years. The next man I meet through my site is far more likely to be foreign than American. This has given me a fortunate position in being able to compare different game methods across cultures.
Out of the dozens of players Iâ€™ve met all over the word, the most common move I see is not even a moveâ€”itâ€™s a screening technique: fishing for eye contact. I consistently see players advocate for looking into the eyes of a woman and hoping for reciprocation. If it comes, he will approach. If not, he probably wonâ€™t. Some players also add a smile, but this variant is less common.
If you are familiar with American pickup material, you wonâ€™t find a whole lot on eye contact. Even in my book Bang, I gloss over it. I think part of the reason is that American players like to believe the idea that they are choosing the women they want and creating attraction from nothing but their game, effort, and desire. Youâ€™ll also find PUA marketing material rife with claims that you can get any women you spot without rejection. You picked her out of a crowd and thanks to your mind control knowledge, she decided to have sex with you.
The American style is to go to the club ready to approach every girl until getting lucky. The foreign player tends to fish for eye contact first, and then approach once he receives something back. If he gets no eye contact, he shares his disappointment in the venue and goes somewhere else. Not surprisingly, foreign players complain to me how little eye contact they get in America, which suggests the American style of energy-intensive approaching is actually better suited for our eye contact stingy females.
The logic of the eye contact technique is sound, because if a girl meets eyes with you, your look is agreeable to her. Assuming youâ€™re just a tad interesting, youâ€™re going to be received well upon opening. If you approach a girl who didnâ€™t give you eye contact, and she happens not to care about your look, you will have to put out a much higher level of game to grab her attention, a likely reason why negs evolved in North America.
The PUA will say, â€œYou shouldnâ€™t wait for eye contact. Go after the girls you want. Donâ€™t wait for her to give you permission to approach.â€ While I fully sympathize with this view, I find that if youâ€™re patient, look your best, and are careful and methodical about your venue selection, you can get eye contact even in hostile North American cities. It wonâ€™t be a flood, but you should get glances from girls who are at least one point above your attractiveness level. If thatâ€™s not happening to you, I recommend you try different venues or optimize your appearance.
Fishing for eye contact and only approaching girls who reciprocated is one method to meet women by doing less work. As long as you look your best and research your venues, results will come, and itâ€™s very easy to take this to the next level by traveling to countries whereâ€”for whatever reasonâ€”you get more eye contact than anywhere else, leading you down the road to a sniper style of game. Thereâ€™s nothing wrong with being a bit inefficient with your approaches, but after a while you may want to tighten up your success rate by going for eye contact. If you think about it, itâ€™s probably the oldest seduction trick there is.