To the man who does nothing

[pete98146]

That's really a wonderful post! I think one of the biggest issues with this forum is the majority of the guys on Happier Abroad are, or will be card carrying members of MGTOW. I'm one of those guys that is happily married to a foreign lady but it's not for everybody. It still takes quite a bit of money, luck, social skills and patience to find a foreign wife and not everybody here has the resources to succeed.

More and more men find it easier to function alone. I'm a 52 year old male and most of my guy friends are single. The bitterness eventually soon replaced by apathy and they don't see being alone as abnormal. In the words of Pink Floyd, they morph into becoming "Comfortably Numb."

[Jester]

That's really a wonderful post! I think one of the biggest issues with this forum is the majority of the guys on Happier Abroad are, or will be card carrying members of MGTOW. I'm one of those guys that is happily married to a foreign lady but it's not for everybody. It still takes quite a bit of money, luck, social skills and patience to find a foreign wife and not everybody here has the resources to succeed.

More and more men find it easier to function alone. I'm a 52 year old male and most of my guy friends are single. The bitterness eventually soon replaced by apathy and they don't see being alone as abnormal. In the words of Pink Floyd, they morph into becoming "Comfortably Numb."

That's a big part of why I left. My peers were complacent. It made me shudder.

[Jester]

To the man who does nothing,
Say nothing
To the man who sits still,
Start moving
To the man who is lonely,
Find worthy company
To the man who is sick,
Try and get better
For the man with no purpose,
Find your purpose
Because life,
Is too short to waste

Some people waste their lives complaining. I have noticed it on several threads, several topics. There are two types of men on here: those who act, and those who do not. There's virulent racists and women haters who never even left the country. Angry virgins raging against the world, filled with hatred against society. They talk an awful lot but they don't deliver. And that's a shame because they are selling themselves short.

Yes, the West sucks in many ways. Yes, feminism has ruined many people. Yes, society isn't what it used to be. In some ways it has improved, in many more ways it has done the opposite. Life is not the way many of us want it to be. And that's fine! Where one man sees but obstacles, another sees opportunities! Where one man sees only rain, another already imagines the sunshine. Where one one man only dreams and does nothing, others work towards achieving their dreams every day. Bit by bit.

I am young. I am married. My wife is far from me and I have to make money to escape the West permanently and get us a house. Something that we have to have done before the end of 2015. Long distance relationships are far from ideal but we have to make do. In the meantime I work. I write. I converse with people online and these conversations, some of them on these forums, have been inspiring to me. At the same time I watch my food, I work out cycle outside daily for about an hour or so. I take long walks and I take good care of myself. I don't play games, I don't waste my time. Every night before I sleep I think of one thing I accomplished that day, and sleep with this in mind.

I'm not where I want to be yet. I live in the West still and I miss my wife and child dearly. I miss the warm sun of the Philippines. The rice, fresh fruit and sweet meat. I miss the jeepneys, the buses, the cracked roads. The dogs and chickens who are everywhere. The many children freely playing outside in the mud. The rural, simple country life. The fresh mountain air, the trees and bushes that are everywhere. The rice fields and the coconuts so abundant you could trip over them easily. I miss the nightly drinking of the men, the liquor and the snacks, the buko juice and the Red Horse beer. My wife's embrace. Love.

Yes I miss it... soon I will be returning. It's a good life there. A traditional life, a simple life. I do not mind the mosquitos, the kalambu works fine. The bugs I ignore. The dogs, they like me. The locals are friendly. The weather is great. Attitudes are different, culture is different. Gender roles are not the same as they are here; a woman will always cook and clean and not doing so would be frowned upon. The men drink, the women cook. Some things they do together but overall there's clear differences in who does what, and this works fine. Sometimes the food is simple and the drink plain. Sometimes I'll lack the funds, cheap as food may be, to be overly excessive. Excess is for when guests arrive. Hospitality is common place.

It's good life, and a simple life. A good environment to raise a large family and raise the children with good morals and values. There's little traffic and most of what we need we find within walking distance. There's no internet, no TV. Not even telephones. And I enjoy it! Others might be driven crazy from the lack of technology but it's this old-fashioned world, this environment of bygone eras, that I've always been fascinated by ever since I was a child. It is the inner romantic in me who takes great joy in the simplest of things. I am a firm believer in the principle that if the little things cannot please you, you are unworthy of the big things.

It will be an exciting change for me, but a good one. In the natural and serene environment I will live my life and it will be a simple life. I hope to set up some sort of local business, a farm perhaps or a store. There's even talks of, in the long run, starting up our very own school! I will see what the future has in store for me. Above all I wish for peace, calm and serenity and a good life to live. Surrounded by my large and growing family, I wish to grow old. I'll never be rich in material possessions but hopefully I will be rich in life experience and overall enjoyment. Thinking of the future fills me with a great longing, a burning passion, a great desire. It fills me with hope and undying optimism.

Some men do nothing. They wither away, the years go by and nothing happens. Hatred fills their hearts, where love should be. Rage, where hope should be. Inactivity in place of the much needed activity. And pessimism where they are badly in need of optimism. That's not a way to live a life, my friends! Don't dream of monomaniacal projects, of overthrowing governments, of revenge fantasies against whoever wronged you. Don't dwell on the rejections you have inevitably suffered. Don't let whatever negativity has colored your life for so long, shape who you are as a person. Instead find that hope, that optimism. Keep that little fire within yourself burning. Let it motivate you to do amazing things.

Life's short. Short and brutal. But only if you want it to be... don't be the man who does nothing.

Beautiful
+1

[Jonny Law]

That's really a wonderful post! I think one of the biggest issues with this forum is the majority of the guys on Happier Abroad are, or will be card carrying members of MGTOW. I'm one of those guys that is happily married to a foreign lady but it's not for everybody. It still takes quite a bit of money, luck, social skills and patience to find a foreign wife and not everybody here has the resources to succeed.

More and more men find it easier to function alone. I'm a 52 year old male and most of my guy friends are single. The bitterness eventually soon replaced by apathy and they don't see being alone as abnormal. In the words of Pink Floyd, they morph into becoming "Comfortably Numb."

Fact-
Everyone who is employed does have what it takes to be Happier Abroad.
The current federal minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. A full-time minimum wage employee earns $15,080 annually.
Just by saving 20% a person will have over $3,000 to travel.
NO PERSON WITH A JOB CAN TRUTHFULLY SAY THEY CANNOT MEET A FOREIGN GIRL.

[Cornfed]

There are a few practical problems posed by modern society to useful actions. Both the state of technology and the nature of the human condition mean that most worthwhile enterprises require the cooperation of a functional community. It takes a village to raise a child properly. It takes a huge infrastructure to train a scientist. A Christian knight needs and army to be a part of. If no such support network to tap into exists, if essentially everyone is a scumbag wedded to a corrupt system, then very few worthwhile activities are possible.

[Cornfed]

Everyone who is employed does have what it takes to be Happier Abroad.
The current federal minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. A full-time minimum wage employee earns $15,080 annually.
Just by saving 20% a person will have over $3,000 to travel.
NO PERSON WITH A JOB CAN TRUTHFULLY SAY THEY CANNOT MEET A FOREIGN GIRL.

OK, so you spend a year saving $3k to go on holiday for a week and meet a foreign girl. What then?

[zboy1]

Yes, angry racists like Cornfed, for example.

[Cornfed]

Don't give me any of this "such a system does not exist" bullshit because it simply isn't true. All you need to do is go abroad, go rural and settle down in a quiet place far away from the West, feminism and Western women you hate so dearly.

As we've discussed here before, there are various potential problems with this. For most of us the immediate issue is how to earn enough money. After that there is the problem of the declining status of Western men, the increasing encroachment of the death cult of feminist modernity in other countries, the fact that you would be raising your kids in isolation or with your wife's family so the arrangement is wrong to begin with, the fact that your kids would at best be absorbed into the local culture so they are worthless from a legacy point of view, the fact that you would likely be killed and eaten in a SHTF situation etc. It might work OK for some, but it is not some kind of universal panacea.

[Cornfed]

You are just finding excuses. Endless excuses on why NOT to do it. But what is the alternative? I think to always be looking for excuses to justify your lack of activity is a clear sign of weakness. You should stop over analyzing every move you could potentially take, man. You are a pessimist and you always think of the worst things that could happen. Instead, focus on the positive sides. You are selling yourself short here and repeating the same things over and over again.

Well, I've spent about 5 years out of the last 10 overseas, and it was never possible to get married and settle down because there was never a viable, long term professional and social niche to settle into. Things don't necessarily just magically fall into place. And I'm clearly not the only one in this regard. You hear of Westerners running out of money and becoming destitute or otherwise getting themselves into trouble in the third world all the time.

[Luc Furr]

Strange and arrogant poem.

1) by your reasoning arsonists, hired murderers and thieves, who destroy everything they touch but are doing "something" have the right to speak.
2) sitters get up; you would tell the meditating Buddah, who sat for 7 weeks under a tree to stop thinking and move.
3) lonely man find a companion; perhaps it would be better to first discover why he is lonely.
4) wasting life; one man's wasted life is another man's treasured journey

America might actually be a good place for you. You can "work" your little job, get up and go shopping, you can buy a cat or dog as a companion, make enough money to take a trip now and then so as not to "waste" your life.

[S_Parc]

3) lonely man find a companion; perhaps it would be better to first discover why he is lonely.

He's lonely because he does not have a companion. You're arguing in circles.

There's also the art of being alone but not lonely.

After I'd broken up with the Brazilian, that's what I started to work on, as a way of gaining self-mastery.

Eventually, Mel caught onto my ways and now, we're a couple, practicing some of these arts together. It was more or less unexpected, as I was content being alone but now, see the relationship as a journey to a new horizon but not as a treatment for loneliness.

If I were to find myself alone again in the distant future, I could become like the mad scientist in my Avatar and still have a happy and fulfilling life. But serendipity had it, that I'd be with someone and as the Taoists say, why go against the flow of the universe

[publicduende]

Marcos, this was an amazing post from you. You're very young, and yet, at least judging from your online writing persona, you know what your dreams are made of and are determined to reach them, no matter what. Little does it matter that you're short on cash and not in the Philippines right now. You'll join your family soon and have the quiet, simple yet fulfilling life you desire.

For, as you so masterfully say...if the small things in life don't fill you, the big ones won't either.

Best of luck, mate. In the space of a few posts, you have sculpted your status as the ultimate Happier Abroader in solid granite.

[publicduende]

There's also the art of being alone but not lonely.

After I'd broken up with the Brazilian, that's what I started to work on, as a way of gaining self-mastery.

Eventually, Mel caught onto my ways and now, we're a couple, practicing some of these arts together. It was more or less unexpected, as I was content being alone but now, see the relationship as a journey to a new horizon but not as a treatment for loneliness.

If I were to find myself alone again in the distant future, I could become like the mad scientist in my Avatar and still have a happy and fulfilling life. But serendipity had it, that I'd be with someone and as the Taoists say, why go against the flow of the universe

There is dignity in being alone but not lonely, yet you must admit that being a monad isn't everybody's cup of tea. Sure, a self-centred loneliness predicated on observation, spiritual discipline and solitary learning is a good path to individual development. So many though may prefer going the opposite direction, plunging further into society and its contradiction, loving and suffering, falling and crying and cursing. And yet, still with some residual desire to hold another hand.

Mel is, as you put it, a co-pilot in a journey of self-discovery that you had already chosen to begin on your own. Nothing wrong with it. Some other people, including myself, just won't survive a week without crashing that wall of singleitude and reaching out for the Other, whoever and wherever they might be.

[OutWest]

Marcos, this was an amazing post from you. You're very young, and yet, at least judging from your online writing persona, you know what your dreams are made of and are determined to reach them, no matter what. Little does it matter that you're short on cash and not in the Philippines right now. You'll join your family soon and have the quiet, simple yet fulfilling life you desire.

For, as you so masterfully say...if the small things in life don't fill you, the big ones won't either.

Best of luck, mate. In the space of a few posts, you have sculpted your status as the ultimate Happier Abroader in solid granite.

+1. He has more basic common sense and courage than most will ever muster. I wish him well and
would be glad to show him a good turn if he is in my area.


Outwest

[S_Parc]

There is dignity in being alone but not lonely, yet you must admit that being a monad isn't everybody's cup of tea. Sure, a self-centred loneliness predicated on observation, spiritual discipline and solitary learning is a good path to individual development. So many though may prefer going the opposite direction, plunging further into society and its contradiction, loving and suffering, falling and crying and cursing. And yet, still with some residual desire to hold another hand.

Mel is, as you put it, a co-pilot in a journey of self-discovery that you had already chosen to begin on your own. Nothing wrong with it. Some other people, including myself, just won't survive a week without crashing that wall of singleitude and reaching out for the Other, whoever and wherever they might be.

The way I look at it, let's call it the Art of Proactive Living (leaving out the terminologies/explanations of Tao, Shamanism, etc) is that it's one of the gifts that the west had received. I believe throughout the prior century, ppl like Yogananda, Suzuki, Mantak Chia, and even a handful of westerners who'd gone abroad, have brought back teachings/instructions which could be of greater benefit to ppl here than even in their originating countries.

Part of that is that western living, which combines a high degree of stress and daily isolation, is a good place to develop oneself, even w/o a monastic order like the Shaolin or the Franciscans (from your former home country). In a sense, these arts are actually being kept alive by the fact that it's needed in modern life and not relegated to some dying geezers in some remote Himalayan caves.

And at the same time, it gives one great resolve, esp when life throws its uncertainties. One guy I knew, who used to do some of this stuff (but stopped abruptly at the age of 30), got divorced and his wife had taken off with the kids. Well, he's a mess today & regrets the fact that he didn't follow my advice, years ago. Hopefully, in a few years, he'll be alright but it's hard to tell, who can recover from a serious blow, if they didn't take the time earlier, to cultivate their inner being.